Morning Mayhem

S5.E93: Friday is Weekend, Bubble Gum Day, Mimeographs, Cape Cod Chips, Black Holes, Super Bowl

The Woodland morning crew ushered in Friday, February 6th, with a spirited debate over whether the weekend truly begins on Friday morning or evening. To celebrate National Bubblegum Day, the hosts took a trip down memory lane, recalling the "bane of all teachers' existence": students packing their lips with Big League Chew and the dreaded detention task of scraping old gum from under 1980s desks with spackle knives. Tomlin’s news desk provided a surreal shift, reporting the closure of the iconic Cape Cod potato chip factory and the discovery of a supermassive black hole nicknamed "Jetty McJetface," which reportedly packs a trillion times the energy of the fictional Death Star. The excitement peaked during sports as the panel debated the upcoming Super Bowl. Decker offered a statistical warning against New England, noting that no quarterback with the initials "DM" or a last name shorter than five letters has ever hoisted the trophy. Between celebrating basketball wins and discussing Olympic curling, the team bid Woodland a "fine" morning, promising plenty of reasons to stay inside for the weekend’s festivities

S5.E92: Curling, Ice Skating, Puzzles Getting Done, SS US Getting Sunk, Draco Malfoy Meme’d, and Cheer Captains

Rise and shine, Woodland! The heat wave has officially split, leaving us in a pristine winter wonderland. Watch your step on those icy driveways—maybe don't go skating on the Naugatuck River! Or Matthies Pond either. Over at the news desk, things are getting heavy. The SS United States is heading to Florida to become a funky coral reef. Meanwhile, Bitcoin and gold are dropping like a bad habit, but Sony is raking in the yen. Can you dig it? In China, Draco Malfoy is the new mascot for the Year of the Horse, and Saudi Arabia is handing out passports to camels! Back at the ranch, show some love to your school counselors. The puzzle challenge has everyone buggin'—1,000 pieces is a lot, man! Big props to the cheer squad for snagging third place at Wolcott. And look for those pyramids, tumbling, and jumps taking them straight into the upcoming competitions like the NVL championship on February 21st. Don’t forget Senior Night for basketball. Keep those Chromebooks charged, bring in that PB&J for DECA, and stay groovy, Woodland

S5.E91: Momma Manning, More NFL Games, Solar Farms, Nurse Robot, Undefeated Woodland Basketball

After shaking off Groundhog's Day the crew started debating whether the NFL should just move the Super Bowl to President's Day so everyone can sleep off their chili-induced comas. If you're stressed about the Patriots-Seahawks matchup, the hosts suggest watching the 2014 replay; spoiler alert: they’ll still probably pass on the one-yard line. In news, Saudi Arabia is building solar farms with a confusing amount of "twos," and China has debuted a humanoid robot named Moya. Moya walks with 92% human accuracy—potentially beating out some of the hosts—though its "smile percentage" remains a mystery. Meanwhile, Firefox added an "AI-block" button for anyone tired of technology asking to "help" write eight-word texts. Local sports are dominated by the 15-0 boys’ basketball team and a player whom Momma Manning describes as a "criminal" for his thieving defensive skills. If you’re truly desperate for action, set your alarm for 4:05 AM to watch American curling against Norway. Just remember to charge your Chromebooks and bring your peanut butter jars for the donation drive

S5.E90: Busses versus Garbage Trucks, PB&J Ounces, Social Media Bans, and Championship Dance Royalty

Today, the crew investigates a frozen-tundra standoff between a school bus and a garbage truck, sparking the ultimate historical showdown: which specialized vehicle saved us from the Black Plague first?. It’s Tuesday—officially the world’s "eighth favorite" day—but don't despair!. It’s an early dismissal, National School Counseling Week, and the PB&J drive has moved to a high-stakes, "ounce-based" scoring system to avoid further controversy. In global news, Italy is officially sick of your Instagram photos, while Elon Musk prepares to move your data into actual space. Finally, the sports desk hosts NVL and state champion dance captains and they’re spilling the tea on an emotional senior night filled with "surreal" goodbyes and tear-jerking letters from their sisters. These legends credit Coach Davis for a total program glow-up, admitting the standards are so high now, they might not have even made the cut as freshmen. Whether they’re channeling Michael Jackson in jazz or vibing to Tate McRae in hip-hop, these "Dancing in the Woods" MCs are ready to defend their titles at the NVL tournament on February 12th. Wake up with Woodland—because you never know when you’ll need to out-dance a Blue Knight!

S5.E89: WInter Weather, Mikey the Mascot, Registration Ends, Speed Puzzles, Groundhog Day, UConn Rolls

It’s the "most Monday" Monday ever here in Woodland. Currently braving an 11-degree "heat wave" while worrying about frozen gutters,. We’ve even got a new mascot, Mikey the Microphone, who’s looking very "Vegasy gold" but lacks a proper T-shirt for this "unrelenting winter" The main event, however, is the rodent-led meteorological civil war. It’s Groundhog Day, a tradition rooted in German heritage where seemingly every small town has its own furry forecaster,. Punxsutawney Phil skipped his shadow and promised an early spring, a prediction shared by Shubenacadie Sam,. However, our local Connecticut hero, Chuckles, saw his shadow and demanded six more weeks of winter,. Since Phil only has a 50% hit rate, it’s basically a coin toss whether we should keep our parkas on. While the groundhogs argue, our sports teams are actually winning; the Woodland boys are a perfect 14-0, and UConn is steamrolling rivals,. If the winter doesn't end, at least we have the advisory puzzle challenge—though we’ve been working on one puzzle for three weeks already,. Stay warm and charge those Chromebooks!.