Secret Life of Therapists

Your Pace, Your Priorities, Your Life

In this episode of The Secret Life of Therapists Podcast, we explore how comparison quietly pulls us away from our values, and why that drift can leave us feeling anxious, behind, or never quite enough. We unpack how social comparison shows up in careers, relationships, parenting, appearance, and success, and how it can distort what actually matters to us. When we measure our lives against someone else’s highlight reel, we often lose sight of our own priorities, pace, and purpose. This conversation offers a grounded, therapy-informed look at how to notice when comparison is driving your decisions, reconnect with your personal values, and make choices that feel aligned rather than reactive. Because peace doesn’t come from catching up to others, it comes from coming back to yourself.

A Deck of Questions, A Lot of Insight

In this special Q&A episode of The Secret Life of Therapists Podcast, Dr. Habiba Zaman and Kaylan Maloney pull listener questions directly from the card deck Know Thyself and answer them in real time. Each prompt sparks an honest, unscripted conversation about relationships, emotional patterns, boundaries, self-awareness, and the inner work that shapes how we show up in the world. What unfolds is part therapy insight, part personal reflection, and part invitation for you to pause and consider your own answers alongside theirs. This episode feels less like an interview and more like sitting in the room with two therapists as they think out loud, unpack meaningful questions, and model the kind of curiosity that leads to real growth. Play along, reflect as you listen, and discover what your own answers might reveal.

Love Isn’t the Fix You Think It Is

On this episode of The Secret Life of Therapists Podcast, we explore a hard truth many people discover too late: romantic relationships don’t heal unresolved wounds; they expose them. We unpack why doing your own healing work before entering a relationship changes everything. From attachment patterns and emotional triggers to boundaries, self-worth, and communication, this conversation looks at how unhealed trauma quietly shapes who you choose, what you tolerate, and how you show up in love. You’ll hear why “finding the right person” is far less powerful than becoming a regulated, self-aware partner first, and how healing creates the foundation for connection that feels safe, mutual, and sustainable rather than chaotic, codependent, or draining. If you’ve ever wondered why the same relationship patterns keep repeating, or why love can feel harder than it should, this episode offers a compassionate and practical lens for breaking the cycle. Because the healthiest relationships aren’t built on chemistry alone, they’re built on two people who have done the work.

The Venus Fly Trap: Chemistry or Trauma?

Why do we keep choosing the wrong person to love? In this episode of Secret Life of Therapists, Dr. Stephen Edwards, author and therapist, breaks down how unhealthy coping patterns shape our relationships. He explains that patterns like anxiety, avoidance, fear of abandonment, or people-pleasing often come from early life experiences and can lead us toward partners who feel familiar… even when they hurt us. Dr. Edwards also wrote The Venus Fly Trap: Sex, Lies, and Repercussions, which is a raw memoir about obsession, chaotic love, and emotional destructiveness that illustrates how powerful—and self-sabotaging—attraction can be when coping gets entangled with desire. Big takeaway: until we understand our coping strategies, we risk mistaking emotional familiarity for safety and repeating the same painful cycles over and over. Dr.Stephen Paul Edwards Media Kit here [https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1hFFpgHQ9oL2IqNaeH8hNxFoh8-HXjrAM?usp=sharing]

Silent Struggle Before Suicide

Why do people die by suicide? This episode of Secret Life of Therapists approaches the question with compassion and clarity. It explores how suicide is rarely about a single event—it’s often the result of overwhelming emotional pain, hopelessness, isolation, and the belief that things will never get better. The conversation breaks down the common myths and looks at what’s really happening internally: a nervous system in distress, a mind stuck in despair, and a person who can’t see a way out of their suffering. Rather than framing it as weakness or selfishness, the episode reframes suicide as a response to unbearable pain and highlights how understanding, connection, and early support can make a critical difference. Big takeaway: behind suicidal thoughts is usually a person who doesn’t want to die, but desperately wants the pain to stop. If this topic feels close to home, you don’t have to carry it alone. Reaching out to someone you trust or a mental health professional can help.