The Me I’m Becoming

Owning My Story: Surviving Rape and Victim Blaming

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses sexual assault, rape, and childhood abuse. I’ve spent a long time being unsure if I would ever cover this topic because of how painful it is to talk about. But I know I am not alone, and it’s time to break the silence. This episode was born out of several recent, deep conversations with someone I consider a a force to be reckoned with - my long-lost soul sister, who has continued to empower me on my healing journey. In this incredibly raw bonus episode, I am sharing my personal survival story. I talk about being assaulted between 2017 and 2018 by a prominent local figure, how childhood trauma left me vulnerable to predators, and the devastating impact of the victim-blaming and slut-shaming I faced when I finally spoke out. Speaking up takes away your privacy, but it also takes away the abuser's power. It took a long time to realize that the shame of this crime does not belong to me - it belongs entirely to the person who did it. Thank you for listening and supporting me through the hardest episode I've ever had to record. If you need support after listening to this episode, please reach out to 1800RESPECT. You do not have to carry this alone.

The First Glimpse of Freedom

What finally awakens someone to leave an abusive situation? In this episode, I share the moments that changed everything for me. I talk about a trip to Darwin that gave me my first real glimpse of what a healthy parent-child relationship looked like, why returning home left me feeling unexpectedly heartbroken, and the moment I realised I could no longer stay where I was. I also open up about the chilling threat that ultimately solidified my decision to escape, the psychological trap that kept me stuck for so many years, and why leaving abusive relationships is often far more complicated than people realise. If you've ever wondered why survivors struggle to leave, why we sometimes go back, or why freedom can feel so terrifying, this episode is for you. Whether you're currently in a difficult situation, supporting someone who is, or simply trying to understand the realities of abuse and recovery, I hope this conversation reminds you that a better life is possible. You deserve peace. You deserve safety. And you deserve the freedom to become who you were always meant to be.

“I’m Proud of You” - Words My Mother Refused to Say

In this episode, I open up about something I spent my entire childhood longing to hear: “I’m proud of you.” I talk about growing up with an abusive mother who refused to give me words of affirmation, how that impacted my self-esteem well into adulthood, and the ways trauma can quietly shape the way we see ourselves long after we leave toxic environments. This episode is about healing, rewiring negative thought patterns, grieving the love we deserved, and learning to give ourselves the kindness we were never shown. And if nobody has told you lately: I am proud of you.

Bonus Episode: Grieving the Person You Could Have Been

In this bonus episode, I open up about something many survivors experience but rarely have words for: grieving the person you could have been if abuse never happened. I talk about lost potential, resentment, healing, creativity, and the complicated emotions that come with rebuilding your life after survival. I also share the concept of ambiguous grief - mourning the future, confidence, and version of yourself that was stolen by trauma. If you’ve ever felt behind in life because of what you went through, this episode is for you.

The Relationships Trauma Recreates

In this deeply personal episode, I open up about what dating looked like after escaping decades of domestic violence and narcissistic abuse - and how trauma can unconsciously draw us toward relationships that feel familiar, even when they hurt us. I share the story of a relationship that mirrored many of the painful dynamics I experienced growing up, the psychological reasons survivors often confuse chaos with love, and why healthy love can initially feel unfamiliar… even “boring.” This episode was inspired by a conversation I recently had with a dear friend who has quickly become a driving force in my life and healing journey. If you’ve ever struggled with trauma bonds, repeating painful patterns, or learning to choose peace over survival mode, this episode is for you.