You Handled That Perfectly™

Survival Mode Series, Part 3

Walking Away or Going Silent During Conflict In this episode, Kelly and Carly discuss one of the most painful dynamics in relationships: stonewalling and emotional withdrawal during conflict. While many people assume yelling or arguing is the biggest threat to a relationship, research shows that emotional shutdown and withdrawal can be even more damaging over time. When one partner goes silent, the other partner’s brain often interprets it as rejection, abandonment, or emotional disconnection — turning everyday disagreements into much deeper feelings of loneliness within the relationship. The conversation explores: * What stonewalling looks like in real relationships * Why withdrawal is one of the strongest predictors of divorce * Dr. John Gottman’s “Four Horsemen” framework * The nervous system response behind emotional shutdown * Why many people withdraw when emotionally overwhelmed * The difference between taking space and emotionally abandoning your partner * How structured breaks can help couples regulate and reconnect more effectively * Key Takeaways * Stonewalling often stems from overwhelm, not necessarily lack of care * Emotional withdrawal can create deeper wounds than open conflict * Conflict becomes more painful when partners feel emotionally alone * Taking intentional breaks can improve communication and resolution * Nervous system regulation matters during difficult conversations Research Mentioned * Dr. John Gottman’s “Four Horsemen” relationship research * Studies on physiological flooding and conflict withdrawal * Research showing structured self-soothing breaks improve conflict resolution outcomes In case no one told you today, You Handled That Perfectly. Check out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/samkelly_world/]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You Handled That Perfectly™⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.youhandledthatperfectly.com/] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You Handled That Perfectly™ Playlist on Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3HYe7swM9WUuo01fb1vUI4?si=wop4T7LoT7ifuVLQeRfxGA] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You Handled That Perfectly™⁠⁠ Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/youhandledthatperfectly] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You Handled That Perfectly™⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://patreon.com/YouHandledThatPerfectly?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink]

Survival Mode Series, Part 2

Mood Unpredictability Let’s talk about something that doesn’t get named very often. You know that moment when he walks in the room and within about five seconds you can tell what kind of night it’s going to be? Nothing dramatic has happened. No big fight. No slammed doors. Just a subtle shift in energy. And suddenly, you’re adjusting. You’re a little softer. A little quieter. Maybe you wait before bringing something up. Not because you’re weak or scared, but because you’re reading the room. And sometimes… the room is your husband. A lot of women tell themselves, “Maybe I’m just too sensitive.” But here’s what we’ve learned: when someone’s moods are unpredictable, your nervous system doesn’t ignore that. It adapts. You start soft-launching conversations instead of saying what you really want to say. You wait for “a good moment” that may or may not ever come. You rehearse things in your head. You add extra explanation so you won’t be misunderstood. You keep things lighter than you actually feel because you’re not sure how they’ll land. That’s not being dramatic. That’s being strategic. And over time, it’s exhausting. The hardest part isn’t even the bad mood itself. It’s not knowing which version you’re going to get. When something is consistently difficult, at least you know how to brace for it. You know how to prepare. But unpredictability keeps you scanning. Is this a safe moment? Should I wait? Is this going to turn into something bigger? That low-level hyper-awareness doesn’t shut off. It follows you around. And then you wonder why you feel tired all the time. If you’ve noticed yourself overthinking more, over-explaining more, or avoiding certain conversations altogether, that didn’t happen by accident. If you feel like you’ve slowly edited parts of your personality to keep the peace, that didn’t come out of nowhere either. You didn’t wake up one day and decide to be “too much.” You adapted to patterns that didn’t feel steady. That makes sense. Of course you adjusted. Most of us do. And just to gently reframe this: you don’t need perfection. You don’t need someone who is upbeat 24/7. You don’t need a partner without emotions. You need consistency. You need conversations that don’t feel like a gamble. You need reactions that aren’t wildly different from one day to the next. You need to be able to bring something up without first scanning for impact. Not perfect. Just steady. If this feels familiar, we just want you to know you’re not crazy for noticing it. You’re not dramatic for feeling the tension. And you’re not asking for too much by wanting emotional steadiness. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do isn’t fix it immediately. It’s simply recognizing the pattern and giving yourself permission to name it. In case no one told you today, You Handled That Perfectly. ⁠Post by Jay Tibbs⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/reels/DS5Fp5WEQeL/] referenced in the episode Check out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/samkelly_world/]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You Handled That Perfectly™⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.youhandledthatperfectly.com/] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You Handled That Perfectly™ Playlist on Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3HYe7swM9WUuo01fb1vUI4?si=wop4T7LoT7ifuVLQeRfxGA] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You Handled That Perfectly™⁠⁠ Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/youhandledthatperfectly] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You Handled That Perfectly™⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://patreon.com/YouHandledThatPerfectly?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink]

Survival Mode Series, Part 1

Feeling Dismissed. In Part 1 of our Survival Mode Series, we’re unpacking one of the most common disconnects in relationships: feeling dismissed. Why does it happen, why does it leave us stuck in survival mode, and what actually helps? We’re diving into the difference between fixing and connecting, and how small shifts can help both partners feel more seen, heard, and understood. For more on the Love Language quiz mentioned, check out our Quizisode Episode [https://open.spotify.com/episode/2k5D4PUdWwDjREA7pj0kWN?si=7_OtR93zSiib3P7Ll_Z9lw] or take The Official Love Language® Test [https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language]. Check out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/samkelly_world/]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You Handled That Perfectly™⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.youhandledthatperfectly.com/] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You Handled That Perfectly™ Playlist on Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3HYe7swM9WUuo01fb1vUI4?si=wop4T7LoT7ifuVLQeRfxGA] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You Handled That Perfectly™⁠⁠ Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/youhandledthatperfectly] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You Handled That Perfectly™⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://patreon.com/YouHandledThatPerfectly?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink]

Phone Addiction

In this episode, we’re talking about something almost all of us deal with: our relationship with our phones. Be honest… have you ever picked up your phone to check one thing—and suddenly it’s 42 minutes later and you have no idea what just happened? Same. Our phones help us run businesses, stay connected, and manage everyday life—but they also quietly take up more space than we realize. The average American spends over 4.5 hours a day on their phone… that’s more than 70 full days a year. Wild, right? We’re diving into: * Why our phones feel so hard to put down * The subtle ways phone use shows up in everyday life * How men and women tend to use their phones differently * The science behind the dopamine hits that keep us scrolling * Why this isn’t just a “Gen Z problem” * And how awareness—not restriction—is the first step to change This isn’t about shaming or quitting your phone cold turkey. It’s about noticing the patterns, understanding the pull, and creating a little more space for the moments that actually matter. Because the best parts of life usually aren’t happening on a screen—they’re happening right in front of us. And if you’re listening while scrolling… we get it. We’re right there with you. Maybe today, we all just put the phone down five minutes sooner. In case no one told you today—You Handled That Perfectly. 🤍 Resources & Discounts: ✨ Get 10% off somatic courses from The Workout Witch using ⁠our link⁠ [theworkoutwitch.com/YOUHANDLEDTHATPERFECTLY] or code YOUHANDLEDTHATPERFECTLY at checkout Check out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/samkelly_world/]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You Handled That Perfectly™⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.youhandledthatperfectly.com/] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You Handled That Perfectly™ Playlist on Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3HYe7swM9WUuo01fb1vUI4?si=wop4T7LoT7ifuVLQeRfxGA] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You Handled That Perfectly™⁠⁠ Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/youhandledthatperfectly] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You Handled That Perfectly™⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Patreon⁠⁠⁠ [https://patreon.com/YouHandledThatPerfectly?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink]

Kindness Certified

In today’s episode, we’re doing something a little extra meaningful—we’re participating in Podcasthon, a global podcast movement where creators use their platforms to support causes that matter. For this episode, we’re highlighting an organization that aligns deeply with our values: Kids for Peace. As a Kindness Certified company, this isn’t just a feature for us—it’s a reflection of how we live, parent, and show up in the world. We’re diving into: * What it actually means to be “Kindness Certified” (and how it shows up in real life) * Why kindness is something we actively practice—not just talk about * The incredible work Kids for Peace is doing in schools around the world * How their student-led programs teach empathy, leadership, and emotional awareness * The real impact of kindness in schools, communities, and even academic success We also talk about why teaching kindness to our kids matters more than ever—and how small, intentional actions can create a ripple effect far beyond what we see. Because kindness isn’t soft—it’s powerful. And when we model it, practice it, and share it, we’re raising humans who know how to navigate the world with empathy and confidence. Want to support or get involved? * Kids for Peace 20th Anniversary Gala⁠ [https://gala.kidsforpeaceglobal.org/] * ⁠Kindness Certified Companies⁠ [https://www.kindnesscertified.org/] * ⁠Become Kindness Certified⁠ [https://www.tfaforms.com/4895102] * ⁠Get Involved with Kids for Peace⁠ [https://kidsforpeaceglobal.org/getinvolved/] Even the smallest actions can make a big impact. ✨ You don’t need a platform to make a difference—you just need intention. Check out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/samkelly_world/]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You Handled That Perfectly™⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.youhandledthatperfectly.com/] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You Handled That Perfectly™ Playlist on Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3HYe7swM9WUuo01fb1vUI4?si=wop4T7LoT7ifuVLQeRfxGA] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You Handled That Perfectly™⁠⁠ Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/youhandledthatperfectly] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You Handled That Perfectly™⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://patreon.com/YouHandledThatPerfectly?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink]