177. It's Time to Shoot Your Shot -- Even When You'd Rather Look Away
Laurie opens this episode mid-story -- crossing a street, spotting someone she admires, and doing what she's done her whole life: looking away.
What follows is one of the most personal episodes she's recorded. It's the story of her relationship with Ellen Yin — media company founder, host of the Cubicle to CEO podcast, keynote speaker, and one of the most gracious humans Laurie has encountered in six years of building this business. Across four years and four distinct moments, Laurie traces the evolution from moving chicken around a plate at a lunch table to waking up to a DM that said: Laurie, I adore you.
But this episode isn't really about Ellen. It's about the conditioning that makes high-achieving women invisible to themselves -- and what it actually looks like to start unlearning it. At 54. After years of doing this work. Still.
The theme woven through this year's Craft + Commerce conference: shoot your shot. Be delusionally confident. Stop being the first person to tell yourself no.
This episode is Laurie's honest reckoning with all of it.
What we cover
* The cold open: crossing the street, recognizing Ellen Yin, and the instinct to look away — and what that one moment reveals about a lifetime of habits
* What happened at the lunch table four years ago — the salad, the chicken, the over-explaining, and the classic nervous deflection of proving how much you know when what you're actually feeling is: do I even deserve to be here?
* The DM that changed everything: how Laurie shot her shot, flew to Oregon, drove 90 minutes in commuter traffic, and spent an extraordinary day learning from someone she admired
* The crosswalk moment — last year's Craft + Commerce — and why she looked away when she could have made the connection herself
* This year's conference: walking into the breakout room, the hug, the lit-up face, and what it felt like to be seen by someone she'd assumed was too important, too busy, too far above her to see her
* Why the tech not working in the room didn't matter — and the Maya Angelou quote that's been living in Laurie's head ever since
* Getting in the photo line — the internal negotiation of "why not me?" — and waking up to Laurie, I adore you
* Little Laurie: the conditioning, the beliefs, the habits that were formed so long ago she didn't know she was still running them
* "I just stopped being the first person to tell myself no" — the keynote line that reframes everything
* The three micro-shots from this year's conference: asking for the free signed book, getting the photo with Ellen, joining a lunch group that felt out of her league
* Why it's not the ask that's the problem — it's the belief we've attached to the ask
* Four takeaways for shooting your shot, being seen, and doing this work for as long as it takes
The four takeaways
1. The look-away is a habit, not a truth.
When you feel the impulse to make yourself smaller, to assume someone is too important to see you, to talk yourself out of making the ask — that is old conditioning running a very old program. You can notice it. You don't have to keep obeying it.
2. Shooting your shot is a skill — and it gets easier.
Not because the fear goes away, but because you build evidence. The ask doesn't kill you. The worst thing people can say is no — and no is not a rejection of you. It means not right now. You keep asking. At some point, they say yes.
3. The gift of being seen starts with letting yourself be visible.
Ellen couldn't have touched Laurie's arm at the crosswalk if Laurie had walked the other way. Every time we make ourselves invisible, we rob someone else of the chance to surprise us.
4. We are never done with this work.
At 54. After years of coaching herself and others. Laurie still looked away at the crosswalk last year. Still moved the chicken around the plate four years ago. The difference isn't that the impulse is gone. It's that she notices it faster — and sometimes, not always but more often, does the thing anyway. That's the work. That's all this is.
Quotable moments
"She made the connection when I wasn't going to do it myself."
"I just stopped being the first person to tell myself no."
"Being delusionally confident doesn't mean you don't feel the fear. It means you make the ask anyway -- and you let other people decide whether to say yes."
"It's not the ask that's the problem. It's the belief we attach to the ask."
"Every time we make ourselves invisible, we rob someone else of the chance to surprise us."
"The difference between now and four years ago isn't that I've eliminated the impulse. It's that I notice it faster. And sometimes I do the thing anyway."
"You shouldn't have to shoot your shot alone."
"People will forget what you said. They will forget what you did. But they will never forget how you made them feel." — Maya Angelou
"Go make someone feel something this week. Might as well start with yourself."
People + resources mentioned
* Ellen Yin [https://www.instagram.com/missellenyin/] — founder of Ellen Yin Media, host of the Cubicle to CEO podcast [https://www.instagram.com/cubicletoceo/]
* Craft + Commerce Conference [https://kit.com/conference?campaignid=23939176477&adgroupid=&device=c&placement=&network=x&utm_source=google&utm_medium=ad&utm_content=&utm_term=&utm_campaign=NAM-PMax-Automation&hsa_acc=4935923627&hsa_cam=23939176477&hsa_grp=&hsa_ad=&hsa_src=x&hsa_tgt=&hsa_kw=&hsa_mt=&hsa_net=adwords&hsa_ver=3&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23934706481&gbraid=0AAAAADKhItyYqJSnZ9V4gOoc_UGkSpjjB&gclid=CjwKCAjwxb7RBhA5EiwAQ-AAdEelPs4adxF5vKZfqklCVpMNJJmczA1D-44MDRs9GfStej21ybnM-BoCBncQAvD_BwE] — annual creator conference hosted by Kit in Boise, Idaho
* Kit [https://kit.com/] — Laurie's new email service provider (formerly ConvertKit)
* James Clear [https://jamesclear.com/] — author of Atomic Habits (30 million copies sold)
* Maya Angelou — "People will forget what you said. They will forget what you did. But they will never forget how you made them feel."
BEST LIFE Mastermind [https://www.schoolofmidlife.com/]
Everything in this episode -- the looking away, the over-explaining, the belief that someone else's question matters more than yours, the feeling that you're not worth remembering -- is exactly the work we do inside the BEST LIFE Mastermind. Not in theory. In practice. With ten women who will see you when you want to make yourself invisible. Who will nudge your arm at the crosswalk when you're about to look away.
→ Apply now [https://www.schoolofmidlife.com]
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