Why Is My Child So Anxious? Dr. Daniel Amen on Raising Mentally Strong Kids
Dr. Daniel Amen, psychiatrist, brain imaging pioneer, and author of Raising Mentally Strong Kids, asked me something early in our conversation that I haven't been able to shake: "How do you know unless you look?" He's been asking that question for 45 years, armed with nearly 300,000 SPECT brain scans, and watching his colleagues diagnose this complex, extraordinary organ without a single piece of biological data.
Here's what Dr. Amen knows that most parents don't: what looks like a mental health problem is almost always a brain health problem, and when you actually look at the brain, the answers hiding underneath the diagnosis are often completely different from what anyone expected. He walked me through the four-circle model he uses at Amen Clinics, biological, psychological, social, and spiritual, and why medicating a symptom without understanding the root is like putting a cast on a leg you haven't X-rayed.
The framework he introduced from Raising Mentally Strong Kids, built on the Love and Logic model with Charles Fay, gave me one of the simplest and most powerful reframes I've heard in this space: if you do too much for your children, you are building your self-esteem by stealing theirs.
You'll walk away knowing why your child's brain isn't fully developed until 25, what dopamine depletion actually looks like in a teen, and the one daily practice Dr. Amen calls more valuable than almost anything else you can do as a parent.
FOR FULL SHOW NOTES & TO WATCH THE VIDEO ON YOUTUBE, GO TO: badmompodcast.com/mentallystrongkids [http://badmompodcast.com/mentallystrongkids]
KEY TAKEAWAYS:
* What the nearly 300,000 brain scans Dr. Amen has collected reveal about why your kid's anxiety might have absolutely nothing to do with their mindset
* Why the prefrontal cortex doesn't fully develop until 25, and what that means for every decision you've been trying to get your teen to make
* The wild card nobody is talking about: how COVID physically changed the brain, and what before-and-after scans actually show
* Discover the four-circle model (biological, psychological, social, and spiritual) that Amen Clinics uses instead of just writing a prescription
* Why doing too much for your child doesn't help them at all, and the one phrase that got 50 million views because it hit every parent right in the gut
* The "special time" practice that costs nothing, takes 20 minutes, and might be the single most effective tool for reconnecting with a kid who's pulling away
* What's actually happening in your teen's brain on dopamine, how social media, video games, and pornography deplete it, and the simple strategies that can help the brain recover
📌 Connect with Dr. Amen
* Website: https://www.amenclinics.com/
* Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doc_amen/?hl=en [https://www.instagram.com/doc_amen/?hl=en]
* TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@docamen
* Book: Raising Mentally Strong Kids (with Charles Fay) https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Mentally-Strong-Kids-Neuroscience/dp/1496484797
* Podcast: Change Your Brain Every Day https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/change-your-brain-every-day/id1178337794
* Good Neighbor Day Initiative: https://goodneighborday.com/
RESOURCES & NEXT STEPS:
👉 If you’ve ever thought, “Am I doing this right?” or felt the pain of wanting to do everything but not having the tools, this episode is for you. Listen, share it with another parent who needs healing and guidance, and subscribe to The Bad Mom Podcast: Parenting The Anxious Generation. And remember: you are not a bad mom; you’re a bada$$ in a broken system. Keep fighting.
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The Bad Mom Podcast: Parenting The Anxious Generation is a Project Grit initiative: fortifying mental wellness for the next generation.
Just Like My Child Foundation is a proud nonprofit partner of Project, committed to equipping today's youth with the tools they need to thrive and build a better future.
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