What Grief Taught Me About Happiness, with Jody LaVoie | Ep. 5
In this episode, Hannah and Amy sit down with Jody LaVoie, who became a grief coach after the most unimaginable of circumstances, the murder of her husband Steve eleven years ago. What began as survival mode, taking over her husband's business, raising three young daughters alone, became, over time, a profound journey of self-discovery, resilience, and a new, deeper understanding of what happiness actually means.
Jody shared with us honesty about the non-linear messiness of grief, about the guilt of laughing too soon, about learning to trust yourself when there's no one to make decisions with, and about the slow, surprising ways that loss can add meaning to a life rather than only taking from it. This is one of the most important conversations we've had on the show, and it's worth listening to even if you haven't experienced loss like this, because as Jody says, grief isn't only about death. It's about any major life transition that changes who you are.
We dig into the stages of grief and why the model is so often misunderstood. We talk about what people say to grieving people that actually doesn't help and what does. Jody talks her job as a grief coach and how she walks beside someone in their grief rather than taking it on, and about the moment she realized that helping other widows find their path forward was where her joy lived.
In this episode: the non-linear nature of grief, the guilt of joy, what grieving people actually need from the people around them, how to find your people, the unexpected gifts of loss, grief as any major life transition, present-moment happiness, and the courage it takes to keep going.
MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE
Jodie LaVoie [https://www.widowsintheworkplace.com/] works one-on-one with widows virtually to help them find their new path forward and rediscover their identity. She also offers corporate grief workshops to help employees and managers better support each other through major life transitions. If you're a widow, or know someone who is, Jody welcomes inquiries and consultations.
Jody's Guide to Joy & blog posts can be found here: Free Resources | Widows in the Workplace [https://www.widowsintheworkplace.com/free-resources]
The five (and six) stages of grief [https://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/]: Originally developed by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. A sixth stage, finding meaning, was later added by David Kessler. As Jody emphasizes, these stages are not linear, not sequential, and not a checklist. You can experience multiple stages in the same hour.
"American Pie" by Don McLean: Steve's song. Listen here. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PRpiBpDy7MQ&list=PL-9zk0gg1jJ_jVnze-nWHylGEeY_gdL3u]
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
It's OK That You're Not OK [https://amzn.to/4dpPbmU] by Megan Devine: The book that doesn't try to fix grief or rush you through it. Deeply aligned with Jody's message that grieving people want to be heard, not fixed.
Option B [https://amzn.to/4tWLz0O] by Sheryl Sandberg & Adam Grant: About resilience and building a meaningful life after loss. Accessible and honest.
The Year of Magical Thinking [https://amzn.to/4f5GmzY] by Joan Didion: The classic memoir on grief. Raw, literary, and unlike anything else on the subject.
What's Your Grief [https://whatsyourgrief.com]: One of the best grief education resources online. Articles, courses, and tools for people navigating loss of all kinds.
Modern Loss [https://amzn.to/4dH2pKG]: Essays and community around grief. Human, candid, and decidedly non-clinical.
Open to Hope [https://opentohope.com]: A nonprofit resource for people coping with loss, founded by grief professionals.
Reach out to us! Email us at icanbehappier@gmail.com or visit http://icanbehappier.com/icanbehappier.com [http://icanbehappier.com/]. This podcast is not a substitute for professional mental health support. Please reach out to a qualified licensed provider if you need help.
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