Roll The Balls Out!

Tips for a Successful Prom Date

Whoo this one's a doozy. We welcome mystery guest number fourteen, who shares an epic prom date story that will echo through eternity as a horrifying cringy experience; VK accuses Producer Marc of ruining the traditional Junior/Senior Banquet for some reason; Producer Marc also gets roasted by a student that he used to like a lot and had always been nice to but now is probably in trouble and might not graduate because of it. Plus: IRAQI DOWNLOADS. ===== RTBO HIGHLY PAID, DEEPLY SKILLED & COMPLETELY PROFESSIONAL CREW Hosts: Curt Copeland & Joel VandeKoppel Honorary Executive Producer & Show Founder: Mark Van Stee Strikingly Handsome Executive Editor, Managing Producer, SFX Coordinator, Staff Writer, Poet Laureate, Music Director & Host of Award-Winning Producer Notes Segment: Marc Vander Maas Executive Producer, Official Show Disciplinarian, and Crisis Communications Manager for When The Show Gets Too Embarrassing for the School: Aaron Meckes Instagram Coordinator and Director of the RTBO Institute for the Advancement of Poultry Science and Technology: Dr. Gabby Miller (M.S. in Sauce Integration & Chicken Strip Dynamics, Baylor University) Director, RTBO Foundation: Sandy Dobbs Bieber Stylist, Fashion Coordinator, Swag Manager, and Guy Who Gets Blamed For The Coupon Codes Even Though It’s Not Really His Fault: Taylor Johnson Art Director and Image Coordination: Morgan Ball Official Hunting Guide and Guy We’d Trust To Protect Us From The Predator, and Bringer of Juice: Bruce Huttenga Bald but Still Respected: David Kool Washington Correspondent: Teresa VanderSchaff Finance Director Frantically Trying to Cover the Immense Cost of All The Coupon Codes: Maelia Post GET TO DA CHOPPA: Arnold Schwarzenegger Official Totally Awesome Mid-80s BMX Bike-based Sports Drama: Rad Director of Transportation and Facilities Manager: “Big Hands” Mike Wolthuis Gotta be over 7’ tall: Todd Schrotenboer Drama Coordinator: Reba Ezell Professional Elephant: Malachi VandeStreek Secretary of Luxurious Facial Hair: John Hendrikse Leader of Chicken Tender Rebel Alliance: Rachel Westra Probably Loves You: Josh Sterenberg Surf Dudette and Indiana Travel Consultant: Kelsie Schweir Show Chaplain and Cincinnati Reds Washout: Chuck Swanson Prom Date Consultant: Chuck Pothoven

Cincinnati, on the Ohio, Which Flows to the Mississippi, Which Is A River

Join us this week as our Mystery Guest reacts in wonder to the news that Cope and VK can read! Also, the mystery guest was invited to try out for the Cincinatti Reds, which is an achievement, but also no one really likes the Cincinatti Reds, which is something that no reasonable person can dispute. Be aware that there is a surprisingly in-depth discussion of the Star Wars Universe led by VK, which is the least surprising part of the surprising discussion. I need to check just how far in the male direction our audience demographics skew and maybe get a good discussion of Gilmore Girls going or something to try to bend the demographic curve back toward something like normal. PRODUCER NOTE: This is actually the first episode where we legitimately used the language beep and there is one instance where a - as Stee would say - barnyard swear pops up, but given the context, I thought it was worth leaving (mostly) in. Just be forewarned. ===== RTBO HIGHLY PAID, DEEPLY SKILLED & COMPLETELY PROFESSIONAL CREW Hosts: Curt Copeland & Joel VandeKoppel Honorary Executive Producer & Show Founder: Mark Van Stee Strikingly Handsome Executive Editor, Managing Producer, SFX Coordinator, Staff Writer, Poet Laureate, Music Director & Host of Award-Winning Producer Notes Segment: Marc Vander Maas Executive Producer, Official Show Disciplinarian, and Crisis Communications Manager for When The Show Gets Too Embarrassing for the School: Aaron Meckes Instagram Coordinator and Director of the RTBO Institute for the Advancement of Poultry Science and Technology: Dr. Gabby Miller (M.S. in Sauce Integration & Chicken Strip Dynamics, Baylor University) Director, RTBO Foundation: Sandy Dobbs Bieber Stylist, Fashion Coordinator, Swag Manager, and Guy Who Gets Blamed For The Coupon Codes Even Though It’s Not Really His Fault: Taylor Johnson Art Director and Image Coordination: Morgan Ball Official Hunting Guide and Guy We’d Trust To Protect Us From The Predator, and Bringer of Juice: Bruce Huttenga Bald but Still Respected: David Kool Washington Correspondent: Teresa VanderSchaff Finance Director Frantically Trying to Cover the Immense Cost of All The Coupon Codes: Maelia Post GET TO DA CHOPPA: Arnold Schwarzenegger Official Totally Awesome Mid-80s BMX Bike-based Sports Drama: Rad Director of Transportation and Facilities Manager: “Big Hands” Mike Wolthuis He might be tall enough to require supplemental oxygen: Todd Schrotenboer Drama Coordinator: Reba Ezell Professional Elephant: Malachi VandeStreek Secretary of Luxurious Facial Hair: John Hendrikse Leader of Chicken Tender Rebel Alliance: Rachel Westra Probably Loves You: Josh Sterenberg Surf Dudette and Indiana Travel Consultant: Kelsie Schweir Show Chaplain and Cincinnati Reds Washout: Chuck Swanson

Rubber Chicken and Green Beans Straight From The Can

In this weeks BIG COMEBACK episode after SPRING BREAK, Cope and VK actually did some basic show prep to make sure they don't say anything that is wildly incorrect about our mystery guest's youth and young adulthood, which is laudable and to be encouraged. We may actually get this podcast moved from "amateurish" to legit "amateur" yet! This week's mystery guest is an adult human who is gainfully employed at South Christian! There may be math involved, so, trigger warning. Also, Tom Izzo catches some strays, and Chick-fil-a notches another win in the great fast food chicken war. This week's sponsor is Rozema Homes, where Josh Rozema will build you a tesseract home that will allow you to manipulate items in the past like Matthew McConaughey in Interstellar. But only if you build on a cul-de-sac, I think. Drop us a line at rtbo@schs.org if you want to share any Stee stories, complement Producer Marc, of offer constructive (or even deconstructive) criticisms of our hosts. ---- RTBO HIGHLY PAID, DEEPLY SKILLED & COMPLETELY PROFESSIONAL CREW Hosts: Curt Copeland & Joel VandeKoppel Honorary Executive Producer & Show Founder: Mark Van Stee Strikingly Handsome Executive Editor, Managing Producer, SFX Coordinator, Staff Writer, Poet Laureate, Music Director & Host of Award-Winning Producer Notes Segment: Marc Vander Maas Executive Producer, Official Show Disciplinarian, and Crisis Communications Manager for When The Show Gets Too Embarrassing for the School: Aaron Meckes Instagram Coordinator and Director of the RTBO Institute for the Advancement of Poultry Science and Technology: Dr. Gabby Miller (M.S. in Sauce Integration & Chicken Strip Dynamics, Baylor University) Director, RTBO Foundation: Sandy Dobbs Bieber Stylist, Fashion Coordinator, Swag Manager, and Guy Who Gets Blamed For The Coupon Codes Even Though It’s Not Really His Fault: Taylor Johnson Art Director and Image Coordination: Morgan Ball Official Hunting Guide and Guy We’d Trust To Protect Us From The Predator, and Bringer of Juice: Bruce Huttenga Bald but Still Respected: David Kool Washington Correspondent: Teresa VanderSchaff Finance Director Frantically Trying to Cover the Immense Cost of All The Coupon Codes: Maelia Post GET TO DA CHOPPA: Arnold Schwarzenegger Official Totally Awesome Mid-80s BMX Bike-based Sports Drama: Rad Director of Transportation and Facilities Manager: “Big Hands” Mike Wolthuis But seriously, dude is like a tree: Todd Schrotenboer Drama Coordinator: Reba Ezell Professional Elephant: Malachi VandeStreek Secretary of Luxurious Facial Hair: John Hendrikse Leader of Chicken Tender Rebel Alliance: Rachel Westra Probably Loves You: Josh Sterenberg Surf Dudette and Indiana Travel Consultant: Kelsie Schweir

The Roll The Balls Out Poetry Hour

In this episode of Roll The Balls Out, Producer Marc gets a nice email and then gets absolutely obliterated when VK reads some of his... unfortunate student poetry from the 90s. In other news, Mrs. Wierenga just jeopardized her position as Producer Marc's favorite teacher from his time at South. It should also be noted that whatever the poem lacked in lyricism and balance, it made up for in factual accuracy. Also we might go to an every-other-week schedule because it's soccer season and VK needs the extra time to complete his pregame beauty regimen. Look good, play good, right coach? This week's Mystery Guest actually did grow up in Kalamazoo, which is different from Mrs. Westra, who we learned a few weeks ago definitely did NOT do that. We also learn that there's an elephant elevator at Madison Square Garden in New York City, that our guest once helped to outfit Justin Bieber for a night on the town in NYC, and we come as close as we've ever come to having a guest storm off the podcast in a rage. (And of course, we offer our congratulations to the SCHS Women's Varsity Basketball team on a fantastic season!) ----- RTBO HIGHLY PAID, DEEPLY SKILLED & COMPLETELY PROFESSIONAL CREW Hosts: Curt Copeland & Joel VandeKoppel Honorary Executive Producer & Show Founder: Mark Van Stee Strikingly Handsome Executive Editor, Managing Producer, SFX Coordinator, Staff Writer, Poet Laureate, Music Director & Host of Award-Winning Producer Notes Segment: Marc Vander Maas Executive Producer, Official Show Disciplinarian, and Crisis Communications Manager for When The Show Gets Too Embarrassing for the School: Aaron Meckes Instagram Coordinator and Director of the RTBO Institute for the Advancement of Poultry Science and Technology: Dr. Gabby Miller (M.S. in Sauce Integration & Chicken Strip Dynamics, Baylor University) Director, RTBO Foundation: Sandy Dobbs Bieber Stylist, Fashion Coordinator, Swag Manager, and Guy Who Gets Blamed For The Coupon Codes Even Though It’s Not Really His Fault: Taylor Johnson Art Director and Image Coordination: Morgan Ball Official Hunting Guide and Guy We’d Trust To Protect Us From The Predator, and Bringer of Juice: Bruce Huttenga Bald but Still Respected: David Kool Washington Correspondent: Teresa VanderSchaff Finance Director Frantically Trying to Cover the Immense Cost of All The Coupon Codes: Maelia Post GET TO DA CHOPPA: Arnold Schwarzenegger Official Totally Awesome Mid-80s BMX Bike-based Sports Drama: Rad Director of Transportation and Facilities Manager: “Big Hands” Mike Wolthuis But seriously, dude is like a tree: Todd Schrotenboer Drama Coordinator: Reba Ezell Professional Elephant: Malachi VandeStreek Secretary of Luxurious Facial Hair: John Hendrikse Leader of Chicken Tender Rebel Alliance: Rachel Westra Probably Loves You: Josh Sterenberg

The Good, The Bad, and The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

IMPORTANT CORRECTION: Lee Van Cleef was actually "The Ugly" in the classic spaghetti Western "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly." We aplologize for the error. This week's episode of Roll The Balls Out brings us a slight lull in the chicken strip war because the mystery guest hasn't been to Raising Cane's, but they promise to try it so there's hope for more fireworks in the future. VK namechecks Lee Van Cleef, the great Dutch ninja, who probably at some point worked with Chuck Norris in his career, which leads to the inevitable RIP for Chuck, who I kind of feel would have liked this podcast. Mystery guest also tells a pretty horrifying first date story which - considering the first date track record at SCHS - surprisingly doesn't involve some sort of digestive tract disorder. Also: Cope makes an important career announcement, but the announcement itself is overshadowed by all the flak he catches for for how he made the announcement. This week's episode brought to you by Meengs Auto Detailing, where you can have an expert in advanced math finally get all of those old french fries out from under your driver's seat. The good news is that your car will be immaculately clean; the bad news is it might be returned to you as a dodecahedron that exists in a parallel dimension that you can't even comprehend. Sound like a service you could use? Drop Jeff a line at jmeengs@schs.org. ----- RTBO HIGHLY PAID, DEEPLY SKILLED & COMPLETELY PROFESSIONAL CREW Hosts: Curt Copeland & Joel VandeKoppel Honorary Executive Producer & Show Founder: Mark Van Stee Strikingly Handsome Executive Editor, Managing Producer, SFX Coordinator, Staff Writer, Music Director & Host of Award-Winning Producer Notes Segment: Marc Vander Maas Executive Producer, Official Show Disciplinarian, and Crisis Communications Manager for When The Show Gets Too Embarrassing for the School: Aaron Meckes Instagram Coordinator and Director of the RTBO Institute for the Advancement of Poultry Science and Technology: Dr. Gabby Miller (M.S. in Sauce Integration & Chicken Strip Dynamics, Baylor University) Director, RTBO Foundation: Sandy Dobbs Stylist, Fashion Coordinator, Swag Manager, and Guy Who Gets Blamed For The Coupon Codes Even Though It’s Not Really His Fault: Taylor Johnson Art Director and Image Coordination: Morgan Ball Official Hunting Guide and Guy We’d Trust To Protect Us From The Predator, and Bringer of Juice: Bruce Huttenga Bald but Still Respected: David Kool Washington Correspondent: Teresa VanderSchaff Finance Director Frantically Trying to Cover the Immense Cost of All The Coupon Codes: Maelia Post GET TO DA CHOPPA: Arnold Schwarzenegger Official Totally Awesome Mid-80s BMX Bike-based Sports Drama: Rad Director of Transportation and Facilities Manager: “Big Hands” Mike Wolthuis But seriously, dude is like a tree: Todd Schrotenboer Drama Coordinator: Reba Ezell Professional Elephant: Malachi VandeStreek Secretary of Luxurious Facial Hair: John Hendrikse Leader of Chicken Tender Rebel Alliance: Rachel Westra Probably Loves You: Josh Sterenberg