The Sage Sorority

episode 066 - what a weekend alone with kids, really taught me about motherhood

I had my niece (5) and nephew (almost 3) for a full weekend. School runs, cooking, activities, baths, the lot. And by Sunday evening, I had more clarity about myself than I'd had in a while. This episode isn't a hot take on motherhood. It's not a debate about whether you should or shouldn't want children. It's an honest account of what happens when you pay close attention to how you feel — not what you think you should feel — in the middle of an experience that's very far from your normal life. We get into the relentlessness of early parenting that's genuinely hard to understand from the outside. The part nobody warns you about around autonomy and what losing it, even briefly, actually does to you. The social script around this conversation and why it keeps so many women from being honest. And what two US studies — from the University of New Hampshire and Michigan State — actually say about childless women and the threat of regret. There's no clean answer at the end of this one. That's kind of the point. UNH study (the 5.7 million figure): https://www.unh.edu/unhtoday/news/release/2025/09/15/study-shows-number-childless-women-us-continues-rise [https://www.unh.edu/unhtoday/news/release/2025/09/15/study-shows-number-childless-women-us-continues-rise] MSU study (the regret finding): https://msutoday.msu.edu/news/2023/04/childfree-study-confirmed-april2023 [https://msutoday.msu.edu/news/2023/04/childfree-study-confirmed-april2023] -- want to book a girl chat session? all the info is here - https://squ.re/45jq3ue [https://squ.re/45jq3ue] want to partner w/The Sage Sorority Podcast? let’s chat - thesagesorority@gmail.com [thesagesorority@gmail.com] have a question? send in an (anonymous) one for Q&A - https://tellonym.me/thesagesorority [https://tellonym.me/thesagesorority] 💘 SUBSTACK// https://open.substack.com/pub/thesagesorority [https://open.substack.com/pub/thesagesorority] INSTAGRAM// https://www.instagram.com/thesagesorority/ [https://www.instagram.com/thesagesorority/] TIKTOK// https://www.tiktok.com/@thesagesorority [https://www.tiktok.com/@thesagesorority] YOUTUBE// https://www.youtube.com/@TheSageSorority [https://www.youtube.com/@TheSageSorority] subscribe to The Sage Sorority Podcast + leave a (cheeky) 5* rating 💘 apple: https://bit.ly/41ZNwO2 [https://bit.ly/41ZNwO2] spotify: https://spoti.fi/4iVPAhn [https://open.spotify.com/show/1v0inMDUdtUT1A3jrCxgXi?si=7W_Frt3FQG6OKfxAxriRkA] youtube: http://bit.ly/45ei8wO [https://www.youtube.com/@TheSageSorority] 💘 catch up with, our founder + host, Shantel instagram// https://www.instagram.com/shantelrousseau/ [https://www.instagram.com/shantelrousseau/] tiktok// https://www.tiktok.com/@shantelrousseau [https://www.tiktok.com/@shantelrousseau] Snapchat// https://snapchat.com/t/fb8LTRCm [https://snapchat.com/t/fb8LTRCm] youtube// https://www.youtube.com/@shantelrousseauonline [https://www.youtube.com/@shantelrousseauonline] OUTFITS - ShopMy// https://shopmy.us/shantelrousseau [https://shopmy.us/shantelrousseau] OUTFITS - LTK// https://www.shopltk.com/explore/shantelrousseau [https://www.shopltk.com/explore/shantelrousseau] 💘

episode 065 - ask a sage vol. 4: networking, career emptiness and a dating spiral

Ask a Sage is back. Three questions, three honest answers. We cover why networking feels gross and how to fix it, what to do when you've achieved everything you wanted and still feel empty (and yes, I mention Stefanie Sword-Williams' Career Comedown — read it), and the "fine but I feel nothing" dating pattern that more of you are experiencing than you'd think. I also open up about where I'm at with the pod right now — the slow build, the burnout, the inputs not matching the outputs. If you're building something and it's taking longer than you planned for, this one's for you too. Anonymous question link in the show notes. Send yours through. -- want to book a girl chat session? all the info is here - https://squ.re/45jq3ue [https://squ.re/45jq3ue] want to partner w/The Sage Sorority Podcast? let’s chat - thesagesorority@gmail.com [thesagesorority@gmail.com] have a question? send in an (anonymous) one for Q&A - https://tellonym.me/thesagesorority [https://tellonym.me/thesagesorority] 💘 SUBSTACK// https://open.substack.com/pub/thesagesorority [https://open.substack.com/pub/thesagesorority] INSTAGRAM// https://www.instagram.com/thesagesorority/ [https://www.instagram.com/thesagesorority/] TIKTOK// https://www.tiktok.com/@thesagesorority [https://www.tiktok.com/@thesagesorority] YOUTUBE// https://www.youtube.com/@TheSageSorority [https://www.youtube.com/@TheSageSorority] subscribe to The Sage Sorority Podcast + leave a (cheeky) 5* rating 💘 apple: https://bit.ly/41ZNwO2 [https://bit.ly/41ZNwO2] spotify: https://spoti.fi/4iVPAhn [https://open.spotify.com/show/1v0inMDUdtUT1A3jrCxgXi?si=7W_Frt3FQG6OKfxAxriRkA] youtube: http://bit.ly/45ei8wO [https://www.youtube.com/@TheSageSorority] THE SAGE SORORITY PODCAST - https://feeds.captivate.fm/thesagesorority/ 💘 catch up with, our founder + host, Shantel instagram// https://www.instagram.com/shantelrousseau/ [https://www.instagram.com/shantelrousseau/] tiktok// https://www.tiktok.com/@shantelrousseau [https://www.tiktok.com/@shantelrousseau] Snapchat// https://snapchat.com/t/fb8LTRCm [https://snapchat.com/t/fb8LTRCm] youtube// https://www.youtube.com/@shantelrousseauonline [https://www.youtube.com/@shantelrousseauonline] OUTFITS - ShopMy// https://shopmy.us/shantelrousseau [https://shopmy.us/shantelrousseau] OUTFITS - LTK// https://www.shopltk.com/explore/shantelrousseau [https://www.shopltk.com/explore/shantelrousseau] 💘

episode 064 - relationships aren't graded solely by outcome

There's a question that comes up every time someone mentions an ex at dinner: "Where is he now?" And what that question is really doing is asking you to justify whether the relationship was worth having based on how it ended. If there's no ring, no forever, no clean resolution then the whole thing gets filed under wasted time. This episode is a direct challenge to that framing. Shantel breaks down why measuring a relationship by its outcome is not just unhelpful, it actively strips you of your own power. A relationship that ended is not evidence of failure. Presence, growth, vulnerability, and the version of yourself you became inside that chapter (!!!) none of that disappears because someone left. This one covers the narrative most women inherit without questioning, what it actually means to take sovereignty over your own relationship history, the difference between accountability and self-blame, and why grieving a relationship is not the same as admitting you wasted time. If you've ever described a past relationship as a waste, or felt embarrassed about how long you stayed, or quietly wondered whether your past counts, this episode is for you. -- want to book a girl chat session? all the info is here - https://squ.re/45jq3ue [https://squ.re/45jq3ue] want to partner w/The Sage Sorority Podcast? let’s chat - thesagesorority@gmail.com [thesagesorority@gmail.com] have a question? send in an (anonymous) one for Q&A - https://tellonym.me/thesagesorority [https://tellonym.me/thesagesorority] 💘 SUBSTACK// https://open.substack.com/pub/thesagesorority [https://open.substack.com/pub/thesagesorority] INSTAGRAM// https://www.instagram.com/thesagesorority/ [https://www.instagram.com/thesagesorority/] TIKTOK// https://www.tiktok.com/@thesagesorority [https://www.tiktok.com/@thesagesorority] YOUTUBE// https://www.youtube.com/@TheSageSorority [https://www.youtube.com/@TheSageSorority] subscribe to The Sage Sorority Podcast + leave a (cheeky) 5* rating 💘 apple: https://bit.ly/41ZNwO2 [https://bit.ly/41ZNwO2] spotify: https://spoti.fi/4iVPAhn [https://open.spotify.com/show/1v0inMDUdtUT1A3jrCxgXi?si=7W_Frt3FQG6OKfxAxriRkA] youtube: http://bit.ly/45ei8wO [https://www.youtube.com/@TheSageSorority] THE SAGE SORORITY PODCAST - https://feeds.captivate.fm/thesagesorority/ 💘 catch up with, our founder + host, Shantel instagram// https://www.instagram.com/shantelrousseau/ [https://www.instagram.com/shantelrousseau/] tiktok// https://www.tiktok.com/@shantelrousseau [https://www.tiktok.com/@shantelrousseau] Snapchat// https://snapchat.com/t/fb8LTRCm [https://snapchat.com/t/fb8LTRCm] youtube// https://www.youtube.com/@shantelrousseauonline [https://www.youtube.com/@shantelrousseauonline] OUTFITS - ShopMy// https://shopmy.us/shantelrousseau [https://shopmy.us/shantelrousseau] OUTFITS - LTK// https://www.shopltk.com/explore/shantelrousseau [https://www.shopltk.com/explore/shantelrousseau] 💘

episode 063 - misbehave with integrity

In this episode of The Sage Sorority, Shantel explores what it means for women to “misbehave with integrity,” inspired by Clarissa Pinkola Estés’ The Late Bloomer. This episode is about good girl conditioning, people-pleasing, self-trust, over-functioning, emotional labour, and the quiet resentment that builds when women keep choosing propriety over honesty. Shantel unpacks the difference between being proper and being ethical, why women often delay decisions they’ve already made, and why acting without cruelty, manipulation, or deliberate harm may be the permission you’ve been waiting for. Topics include: Good girl conditioning, People-pleasing and resentment Self-trust and decision-making, Emotional labour in relationships Over-functioning in friendships, family, work, and dating Why “I should” keeps women stuck, Becoming less likeable but more honest Referenced in this episode: The Late Bloomer by Clarissa Pinkola Estés Women Who Run With the Wolves [Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés] by Clarissa Pinkola Estés [Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés] Episode 012: Big Energy, No Apology Episode 027: The Rules Are Made Up Episode 038: The Rebrand Era If this episode resonated, share it with a friend and subscribe to The Sage Sorority on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube. -- want to book a girl chat session? all the info is here - https://squ.re/45jq3ue [https://squ.re/45jq3ue] want to partner w/The Sage Sorority Podcast? let’s chat - thesagesorority@gmail.com [thesagesorority@gmail.com] have a question? send in an (anonymous) one for Q&A - https://tellonym.me/thesagesorority [https://tellonym.me/thesagesorority] 💘 SUBSTACK// https://open.substack.com/pub/thesagesorority [https://open.substack.com/pub/thesagesorority] INSTAGRAM// https://www.instagram.com/thesagesorority/ [https://www.instagram.com/thesagesorority/] TIKTOK// https://www.tiktok.com/@thesagesorority [https://www.tiktok.com/@thesagesorority] YOUTUBE// https://www.youtube.com/@TheSageSorority [https://www.youtube.com/@TheSageSorority] subscribe to The Sage Sorority Podcast + leave a (cheeky) 5* rating 💘 apple: https://bit.ly/41ZNwO2 [https://bit.ly/41ZNwO2] spotify: https://spoti.fi/4iVPAhn [https://open.spotify.com/show/1v0inMDUdtUT1A3jrCxgXi?si=7W_Frt3FQG6OKfxAxriRkA] youtube: http://bit.ly/45ei8wO [https://www.youtube.com/@TheSageSorority]

episode 062 - how to choose your core values and actually live by them

In this episode of The Sage Sorority, Shantel breaks down how to choose your core values and actually live by them, drawing on the values clarification work used in therapy and coaching. You'll learn the difference between values, goals, preferences, and aesthetics, why your real values are revealed by your trade-offs, and how to use a six-to-eight value framework as a practical filter for decisions in friendship, dating, work, money, and creativity. If you've ever felt the gap between who you say you are and what your choices keep revealing, this is the episode that helps you name what matters and build from there. LIST OF VALUES 1 - https://brenebrown.com/resources/dare-to-lead-list-of-values/ LIST OF VALUES 2 (also some great exercises in this one!) - https://taproot.com/live-your-core-values-exercise-to-increase-your-success/ want to book a girl chat session? all the info is here - https://squ.re/45jq3ue [https://squ.re/45jq3ue] want to partner w/The Sage Sorority Podcast? let’s chat - thesagesorority@gmail.com [thesagesorority@gmail.com] have a question? send in an (anonymous) one for Q&A - https://tellonym.me/thesagesorority [https://tellonym.me/thesagesorority] 💘 SUBSTACK// https://open.substack.com/pub/thesagesorority [https://open.substack.com/pub/thesagesorority] INSTAGRAM// https://www.instagram.com/thesagesorority/ [https://www.instagram.com/thesagesorority/] TIKTOK// https://www.tiktok.com/@thesagesorority [https://www.tiktok.com/@thesagesorority] YOUTUBE// https://www.youtube.com/@TheSageSorority [https://www.youtube.com/@TheSageSorority] subscribe to The Sage Sorority Podcast + leave a (cheeky) 5* rating 💘 apple: https://bit.ly/41ZNwO2 [https://bit.ly/41ZNwO2] spotify: https://spoti.fi/4iVPAhn [https://open.spotify.com/show/1v0inMDUdtUT1A3jrCxgXi?si=7W_Frt3FQG6OKfxAxriRkA] youtube: http://bit.ly/45ei8wO [https://www.youtube.com/@TheSageSorority] 💘 catch up with, our founder + host, Shantel instagram// https://www.instagram.com/shantelrousseau/ [https://www.instagram.com/shantelrousseau/] tiktok// https://www.tiktok.com/@shantelrousseau [https://www.tiktok.com/@shantelrousseau] Snapchat// https://snapchat.com/t/fb8LTRCm [https://snapchat.com/t/fb8LTRCm] youtube// https://www.youtube.com/@shantelrousseauonline [https://www.youtube.com/@shantelrousseauonline] OUTFITS - ShopMy// https://shopmy.us/shantelrousseau [https://shopmy.us/shantelrousseau] OUTFITS - LTK// https://www.shopltk.com/explore/shantelrousseau [https://www.shopltk.com/explore/shantelrousseau] 💘