BPD Diaries: Stories and Science

You Love Someone With BPD. Now What? | Honest Answers to What Loved Ones of People With BPD Ask Most

You love someone with BPD. But some nights, you lie awake wondering: • Do they actually love me? • Am I codependent or just a caring person? • Is this BPD or emotional abuse? • Should I stay or should I leave? • Why do they threaten suicide when I try to leave, and what do I actually do? These are some the questions partners, parents, and friends of people with BPD ask. Often with guilt. Often with exhaustion. Often without anyone giving them a straight answer. This episode answers some of the most common questions from loved ones. Not with easy answers, but with honesty and compassion for both sides. If you've ever felt like you're losing yourself while loving someone with BPD, this one is for you. [This is the second episode in my BPD Awareness Month series. You don't need to have heard Episode 1 to understand this one.] Family Connections: https://sashbear.org/family-connections/ 🌱 Have questions, stories, or something you’d like us to cover? We’d love to hear from you. Email us at bpddiariespodcast@gmail.com and let’s keep the conversation going. 🎧 Looking for meditations made for emotional regulation, BPD, and more? Check out  Empowered Heroes Meditations  on ⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify. If you’d like more support in your journey toward BPD recovery, Steff offers 1:1 sessions using evidence-based tools from DBT, Schema Therapy, and Mindfulness to help you heal. Email for a free 30-Minute Consultation:  📩 steff@bpdsupport.org or check out the website: www.bpdsupport.org

The Internet's Most Asked BPD Questions, Answered | People with BPD Edition

It's BPD Awareness Month. So I am doing something different. I keep seeing the same questions. Asked at 2am. Asked through tears. Asked by people who are exhausted, confused, and just want an honest answer. This episode answers 10 of the most common questions people with BPD actually ask, including: • Is it BPD or bipolar? • Why do I react so intensely even when I know better? • Am I a bad person because of what I've done during episodes?• Are people with BPD manipulative? • Why do I lie even about small things? • Why do I feel empty even when things are going okay? • What is a 'favorite person' and why does it hurt so much? • Why do I keep splitting on people I love and how do I stop? • Can I ever have a normal relationship? • Can I recover without DBT? I'm not just answering them. I'm showing you how to ask them better, because the way you ask a question changes what you can find. And at the end: a bonus question that almost no one is asking. The one that might matter more than all the others. This is for anyone with BPD who is tired of feeling like a problem to be solved and is ready to start building something worth living for. 🌱 Have questions, stories, or something you’d like us to cover? We’d love to hear from you. Email us at bpddiariespodcast@gmail.com and let’s keep the conversation going. 🎧 Looking for meditations made for emotional regulation, BPD, and more? Check out  Empowered Heroes Meditations  on ⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify. If you’d like more support in your journey toward BPD recovery, Steff offers 1:1 sessions using evidence-based tools from DBT, Schema Therapy, and Mindfulness to help you heal. Email for a free 30-Minute Consultation:  📩 steff@bpdsupport.org or check out the website: www.bpdsupport.org

Too Old for a BPD Diagnosis? | Late-Life BPD Diagnosis (And Why It's Never Too Late to Heal)

In this episode, we explore what it means to receive a BPD diagnosis later in life. Why it happens so often, what the latest research tells us about BPD across the lifespan, and why healing is never too late. Whether you're newly diagnosed, still searching for answers, or supporting someone you love, this one's for you. It's never too late to be understood. 🌱 Have questions, stories, or something you’d like us to cover? We’d love to hear from you. Email us at bpddiariespodcast@gmail.com and let’s keep the conversation going. 🎧 Looking for meditations made for emotional regulation, BPD, and more? Check out  Empowered Heroes Meditations  on ⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify. If you’d like more support in your journey toward BPD recovery, Steff offers 1:1 sessions using evidence-based tools from DBT, Schema Therapy, and Mindfulness to help you heal. Email for a free 30-Minute Consultation:  📩 steff@bpdsupport.org or check out the website: www.bpdsupport.org 📚 Referenced Research Includes: Broadbear, J. H., Bhagwandas, M. G., Crowley, S., Cheney, L., & Rao, S. (2025). Exploring the Pathways to Diagnosis for Men With Borderline Personality Disorder: A Qualitative Study. International Journal of Mental Health Nursing, 34(1). https://doi.org/10.1111/inm.13413  Ekiz, E., van Alphen, S. P., Ouwens, M. A., & Videler, A. C. (2026). Managing Emotional Intensity Difficulties in Older Adults With Personality Disorders: A Proof-of-Concept Study. Journal of Clinical Psychology. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.70090 [https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.70090] Hill, R. (2005). End-of-life care for the patient with borderline personality disorder. Journal of Hospice & Palliative Nursing, 7(3), 150–161. Jo, R., Broadbear, J. H., Hope, J., & Rao, S. (2023). Late manifestation of borderline personality disorder: Characterization of an under-recognized phenomenon. Personality and Mental Health, 17(2), 165–175. https://doi.org/10.1002/pmh.1571 Khasho, D. A., Van Alphen, S. P. J., Heijnen-Kohl, S. M. J., Ouwens, M. A., Arntz, A., & Videler, A. C. (2019). The effectiveness of individual schema therapy in older adults with borderline personality disorder: Protocol of a multiple-baseline study. Contemporary Clinical Trials Communications, 14, 100330. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.conctc.2019.100330 Kjaer, J. N., Biskin, R., Vestergaard, C. H., & Munk-Jorgensen, P. (2015). A nationwide study of mortality in patients with borderline personality disorder. European Psychiatry, 30(S1), 1–1. doi:10.1016/S0924-9338(15)30162-0 Lynch, T. R., et al. (2007). Dialectical behavior therapy for depressed older adults: A randomized pilot study. American Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry, 15(5), 383–393. Rexand-Galais, F., Pithon, L., & Le Goff, J. (2021). Assessment of borderline personality disorder in geriatric institutions. Frontiers in Psychology, 12, 629571. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.629571 Stiles, C., Batchelor, R., Gumley, A., & Gajwani, R. (2023). Experiences of stigma and discrimination in borderline personality disorder: A systematic review and qualitative meta-synthesis. Journal of Personality Disorders, 37(2), 177–194. https://doi.org/10.1521/pedi.2023.37.2.177 Videler, A. C., et al. (2020). Schema therapy for personality disorders in older adults. Aging & Mental Health, 24(1), 119–126. Zanarini, M. C., Frankenburg, F. R., Hennen, J., Reich, D. B., & Silk, K. R. (2005). The McLean Study of Adult Development (MSAD): Overview and implications of the first six years of prospective follow-up. Journal of Personality Disorders, 19(5), 505–523. https://doi.org/10.1521/pedi.2005.19.5.505 C0MCs5181rD1oysF4PfM

Quiet BPD | The One Who Always Has It Together (And Is Quietly Falling Apart)

What if your emotional pain was invisible , even to the people closest to you? In this episode, we explore Quiet BPD: the presentation of Borderline Personality Disorder where the storm rages entirely on the inside. No outbursts. No visible chaos. Just a carefully maintained exterior while everything underneath is burning. We cover what Quiet BPD actually is (and what the research says), why it's so often misdiagnosed as depression, anxiety, or even autism, and what daily life looks like for people who've learned to turn their pain inward rather than outward. If you've ever felt like you were performing "fine" while privately falling apart, this episode was made for you. Topics covered: internalizing vs. externalizing BPD, shame & self-blame, misdiagnosis, treatment options including DBT & IFS, advice for loved ones Your struggle is valid , whether it's loud or quiet. 🌱 Have questions, stories, or something you’d like us to cover? We’d love to hear from you. Email us at bpddiariespodcast@gmail.com and let’s keep the conversation going. 🎧 Looking for meditations made for emotional regulation, BPD, and more? Check out  Empowered Heroes Meditations  on ⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify. If you’d like more support in your journey toward BPD recovery, Steff offers 1:1 sessions using evidence-based tools from DBT, Schema Therapy, and Mindfulness to help you heal. Email for a free 30-Minute Consultation:  📩 steff@bpdsupport.org or check out the website: www.bpdsupport.org 📚 Referenced Research Includes:  Book:⁠The Complete Guide to Quiet BPD by Paul Fabunni Meredith⁠ [https://www.waterstones.com/book/the-complete-guide-to-quiet-bpd/paul-fabunni-meredith/9781764247122] Centres for Health and Healing Ontario. (2025). Living with Quiet BPD: Signs, Triggers, and Coping Strategies. Retrieved from: https://cfhh.ca/blog/living-with-quiet-bpd-signs-triggers-coping-strategies/ Higgins, H. M. (2025). The Quiet Borderline Personality Disorder: Understanding and Thriving with Internalized EUPD/BPD.  Lenzenweger, M. F., Lane, M. C., Loranger, A. W., & Kessler, R. C. (2007). DSM-IV personality disorders in the National Comorbidity Survey Replication. Biological psychiatry, 62(6), 553-564. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.biopsych.2006.09.019 [https://doi.org/10.1016/j.biopsych.2006.09.019]  Lo, I. (2021). The struggles of quiet BPD. Retrieved from: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-emotional-intensity/202107/the-struggles-quiet-bpd [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-emotional-intensity/202107/the-struggles-quiet-bpd]  Millon, T. (2011). Disorders of personality: Introducing a DSM/ICD spectrum from normal to abnormal. John Wiley & Sons.   Stoffers-Winterling, J. M., Storebø, O. J., Kongerslev, M. T., Faltinsen, E., Todorovac, A., Jørgensen, M. S., ... & Simonsen, E. (2022). Psychotherapies for borderline personality disorder: a focused systematic review and meta-analysis. The British Journal of Psychiatry, 221(3), 538-552. doi:10.1192/bjp.2021.204  Wolf, K., Scharoba, J., Noack, R., Keller, A., & Weidner, K. (2023). Subtypes of borderline personality disorder in a day-clinic setting—Clinical and therapeutic differences. Personality Disorders: Theory, Research, and Treatment, 14(5), 555.

When Food Becomes a Coping Mechanism | BPD & Eating Disorders

Nearly 1 in 3 people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) will also experience an eating disorder at some point in their lives. But this connection goes far deeper than food, weight, or appearance. In this episode, we explore the powerful and often misunderstood relationship between BPD and eating disorders, including anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating disorder. Why do these conditions so often occur together? What role do emotion dysregulation, impulsivity, identity disturbance, and chronic emptiness play in disordered eating? And what does current research say about the most effective ways to support recovery? 🌱 Have questions, stories, or something you’d like us to cover? We’d love to hear from you. Email us at bpddiariespodcast@gmail.com and let’s keep the conversation going. 🎧 Looking for meditations made for emotional regulation, BPD, and more? Check out  Empowered Heroes Meditations  on ⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify. If you’d like more support in your journey toward BPD recovery, Steff offers 1:1 sessions using evidence-based tools from DBT, Schema Therapy, and Mindfulness to help you heal. Email for a free 30-Minute Consultation:  📩 steff@bpdsupport.org or check out the website: www.bpdsupport.org 📚 Referenced Research Includes: Cassioli, E., Rossi, E., D'Anna, G., Martelli, M., Hazzard, V. M., Crosby, R. D., ... & Castellini, G. (2022). A 1‐year follow‐up study of the longitudinal interplay between emotion dysregulation and childhood trauma in the treatment of anorexia nervosa. International Journal of Eating Disorders, 55(1), 98-107. https://doi.org/10.1002/eat.23647 [https://doi.org/10.1002/eat.23647]  Chen, E. Y., Brown, M. Z., Harned, M. S., & Linehan, M. M. (2009). A comparison of borderline personality disorder with and without eating disorders. Psychiatry research, 170(1), 86-90. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psychres.2009.03.006 [https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psychres.2009.03.006]  Fairburn, C. G. (2008). Cognitive behavior therapy and eating disorders. Guilford Press.  Federici, A., & Wisniewski, L. (2013). An intensive DBT program for patients with multidiagnostic eating disorder presentations: A case series analysis. International Journal of Eating Disorders, 46(4), 322-331. https://doi.org/10.1002/eat.22112Digital Object Identifier (DOI) [https://doi.org/10.1002/eat.22112]  Khosravi, M. (2020). Eating disorders among patients with borderline personality disorder: understanding the prevalence and psychopathology. Journal of Eating Disorders, 8(1), 38. https://doi.org/10.1186/s40337-020-00314-3  Racine, S. E., & Wildes, J. E. (2015). Emotion dysregulation and anorexia nervosa: An exploration of the role of childhood abuse. International Journal of Eating Disorders, 48(1), 55-58.  https://doi.org/10.1002/eat.22364Digital Object Identifier (DOI) [https://doi.org/10.1002/eat.22364]  Sansone, R. A., & Sansone, L. A. (2010). Borderline personality and eating disorders: A chaotic crossroads. In Treatment of eating disorders (pp. 217-232). Academic Press. https://doi.org/10.1016/B978-0-12-375668-8.10013-0 [https://doi.org/10.1016/B978-0-12-375668-8.10013-0] Crisis & Support Resources: * National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) Helpline: 1-800-931-2237 * Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741