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Five Rules for the Good Life Podcast

Podkast av Darin Bresnitz

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Five rules for the good life and other tips for living well as told by those who made it their business to do so. fiverules.substack.com

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episode Matty Matheson cover

Matty Matheson

Matty Matheson has spent the last decade carving out his own lane by doing what most people are too scared to do: making things before anyone gives them permission. On this episode of Five Rules for the Good Life, Matty joins Darin to talk about creating Just a Dash, finding his on-camera voice before “content creator” was even a career path, and why the best ideas usually start with a couple of friends, a camera, and a willingness to see what happens. They discuss trusting your collaborators, investing in yourself before anyone else will, and how consistency matters more than virality. Matty shares his Five Rules for Making Your Own Show, including why you should only cook things you love or hate, why working with friends changes everything, and why originality still matters in a world built on algorithms and imitation. There’s something deeply inspiring about Matty’s journey because none of it feels manufactured. It feels earned. Watching someone continue to create for years, through rejection, uncertainty, changing platforms, and shifting industries, is a reminder that momentum is built through consistency, not shortcuts. The conversation is really about the value of showing up over and over again, trusting your instincts, and building with people you actually care about. There’s a specific kind of joy that comes from making things with friends, from laughing through the chaos, from figuring it out together in real time. Even when something fails, even when it gets messy, the act of creating is still better than standing still. Making something, anything, is how you find your voice. Photo by Sid Tangerine Five Rules for the Good Life is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Introduction Hello and welcome to Five Rules for the Good Life. I’m your host, Darin Bresnitz. It is always a good time when I get to sit down with today’s guest, Matty Matheson, whose new season of Just a Dash is out on Netflix right now, along with the fifth season of The Bear coming out on FX and Hulu on June 25th. He’s here today to share his five rules for making your own show. We chat about the importance of working with people you trust, that to get everyone to buy in with what you’re making, you need to... So let’s get into the rules. Getting Started in Video Matty, so good to see you. I love to hear the birds chirping and the sun streaming through in Canada. Thanks for making the time to sit down and chat with me. You’re very welcome. That’s our canary, Waffles, and Waffles is just having a beautiful day it seems. You are no stranger to TV. I’ve seen you cooking across different mediums for such a long time. Not every chef is drawn to that type of pursuit. What made you want to get involved in the first place? Well, great question. The first video I ever made was my cheeseburger video. We made that over 10 years ago now. My era, the beginning of that, when I was 26, 27, 28, if you were on TV, you were a massive star. There wasn’t any middle ground. There wasn’t any content. It wasn’t anything. Some producers at Vice hit me up to see if I wanted to do something. In Canada, we shot a cheeseburger video, and that’s what it was. It’s funny, I look back on that stuff. There’s no persona. There’s no yelling. There’s no anything. It’s just me being funny and talking in my regular voice. I was just drawn to it because they wanted to do something different. It wasn’t some big TV show. It wasn’t a competition show. It wasn’t some thing that was out there that was on some major network. That was what drew me to that, was just hanging out with people that I already hung out with, my friends that worked at Vice. It was still purer then. There was no anything. It wasn’t creating. We just made a cooking video, a how-to video. Finding an On-Camera Voice You had a chance to evolve before this new ecosystem of creators. What do you remember about learning that time and finding your on-camera persona before it became such a commodity to do content? I would do a video every two, three months. What a cadence compared to today. I did that and then I did my pancake video and then I did my get-you-laid lasagna video. It was just like a thing where we made it when we made it. I think I got paid 500 bucks a video at that time too, which was kind of nice. Seems about right. It was more money than I ever made in a two, three hour span of time. It was incredible to get that amount of money when I was that age. It was more money than I ever made. There was no references. Building Just a Dash We shot Just a Dash two years ago. It’s amazing. It took a long time to edit. Tort and his crew, we took a long time finding it. The way that we shoot Just a Dash is we shoot for 10 hours, 12 hours, and then we find everything in the edit. We’re always cooking one dish. There’s all these sub-stories and things and stuff. When we made the season, it wasn’t with Netflix. It wasn’t with anybody. It was still just self-funded with the Canadian Arts grant that we get. We wanted to make something that was a little bit... so this was us putting in a little bit more effort. We had six or seven more people on set. We had costume, we had set deck, a couple producers. I had a little relationship over with Netflix and they were kind of looking for something and I was kind of looking to see if they were down. It was a very easy thing. We showed it to them. They were very excited. It’s a no brainer. And it was funny. I even told them when we first started to meet, I was just like, I pitched you this show like six years ago. I guess they weren’t ready for it. Obviously because of The Bear I got a little more juice. Yeah, I got a little bit of Hollywood juice from that. We get to put something like Just a Dash out there and let that ripple out. I’m glad that you got that juice because the show is great and it’s allowed you to stay in this game for so long, which is why I’m so excited for you to share your five rules for making your own show. When I watch this season, there’s just such a levity, such a formed world with the people behind the camera and you in front of it. I just feel that you’re letting us into your home and into your life, which is a big part of your rule number one. Rule #1: Cook Something You Love or Hate Rule number one is cook something that you love or hate because then there’s no middle ground. So you need to have feelings. For the type of content that I make, either I love it or I’m trying to figure it out and I hate it. Then the plane starts crashing and then I have to land the plane every episode. That’s our snake eating its own tail thing that we’re always doing. We’re excited, we get smoked, and then we land the plane. Always cook something that you love or something that you don’t understand. By cooking something you don’t understand, by the end of it, you’ll probably understand it and enjoy it. Rule #2: Work With Friends Creating that space from a production point of view to allow you to cook something that might work or go off the rails is really determined by the people who you work with and the relationships you have, which makes up your rule number two. I love working with friends. Working with friends has given me an incredible life and has allowed us all to continuously work together. Having somebody like that that knows you and knows how to work you. On the first two seasons of Just a Dash we had no producers, no writers, no nothing. Whoever was there that day was there. It was just me, Camera B, Sound Guy, Tor, Michelle, myself. It is a thing of trusting your crew. Believing in your crew. Also having this thing where everyone is level. Everyone is a part of it. Everyone is adding to the cup. That’s the thing that’s the most important. Everyone is on the level. Everyone is a part of this. Everyone is equal. Everyone is doing their thing making this video. Maybe that’s just because I naturally want everyone to have fun and everyone to be hanging out. That’s why my videos just genuinely organically went to this. Oh yeah, what if we just turned the cameras around and it was just all my friends hanging out and we’re just making this video and I’m just the idiot in front of the camera, but the whole show is the 360 of five idiots hanging out about making a thing. Rule #3: Get Everyone Behind You Being able to lead a group of people, having the ability to take a stand and say, no, this is what we’re making, this is what you get, is a fundamental tenant of your rule number three. Rule number three is believing in yourself enough to get everyone behind you. Yeah, I’m always like just get me something to cook. Let’s not overthink it. Get me all the ingredients. If I don’t have all the ingredients that will make it better. But that comes with a lot of trust. You need that trust to be able to communicate how to cook at the same time as be funny, to be present or unpresent, but still keep the train rolling. The reason why I can be so funny or be so ridiculous at times is because the cooking, I’m not thinking about the cooking. I’m never really thinking about the cooking. You know it. I know how to make pasta. I know how to make a cream sauce. Cooking is very funny to me. As long as you understand the foundation, you can do multiple cuisines and multiple things and there’s only certain amount of things you can do. You can fry, you can roast, you can broil, you can boil, you can simmer. Also finding your path throughout the video is part of my journey where I’m like a lot of the times I have an idea what I’m cooking and then I’ll get a feeling or an excitement about something as I’m doing it. And then that can switch a lane really quickly for me. And then we just are going down that path. But for everyone else to be able to go down that path is that freedom. Oh, I’m going to make grilled chicken fajitas. Okay, and I start doing it. I’m like, yo, what if we made a fried chicken sandwich fajita? Hell yeah. Food isn’t different to the journey. It doesn’t really matter what I’m cooking. As I’m finding my happy place, truly, while I’m cooking this thing, I allow the happy place to get turned upside down and set on fire. And then everyone around me is watching and not helping, but that’s part of it. It is a thing knowing that that is what makes everything click, is us understanding our levels of where we’re going. Are we actually getting upset or are we just a little bit upset? I don’t think we’ve ever had to fully take a break or something like that where we go on these emotional voyages. Believing in yourself, knowing that you’re going to finish and finish strong, people will believe in you and that’s consistency. Rule #4: Invest in Yourself On the other side of believing in yourself creatively is the reality of production, what it takes to actually get something off the ground, which usually deals with finances. And sometimes it’s hard to get people to invest in you before you invest in yourself, which makes up your rule number four. Spend all of the money you have on yourself. Exactly. Invest in yourself. Yep. Very low to the bottom of the barrel where I have risked financial risk for my family multiple times to believe in myself and to believe in that the project we’re working on, it will just continue. I didn’t make Just a Dash to sell it at first. I made Just a Dash because I wanted to get Just a Dash. I made the first season of Just a Dash when everyone said no. I had left Vice. I went to LA. I had meetings at every frigging place thinking I had dead set on life. I had It’s Suppertime. I had Munchies. And I was just like, oh. Easy, new show, new me. Yeah, like I’m over here now. And everyone’s like, who the f**k are you? And I was like, oh, okay, cool. Got to the point where I was just like, I’ll pay for myself and start my own YouTube channel. That’s what every single person does. But back then it was like a different thing. I still don’t know how to make content on my phone. Like I meet all these Instagram chefs and people that are making content. I’ve done a couple of collabs and I’m like, you literally just shoot all... Then I’m going to f**k with myself, believe in my friends and believe in the people that I’ve made all these things with. I believe in them. I know that they can make good s**t. I know that I can make good s**t. And I know that people like it. I may not be this valued person to all these networks. The internet, which was my fanbase at that time, enjoyed it and fucked with Just a Dash hard. And as you believed in yourself and as you built out this world, you just continuously go. At the beginning, it was this incredible time of you and your friends making something, doing something, putting it out there. Consistency and Fans It’s all because of the fans. Every day I wake up and I’m so grateful for everybody and everything that’s happened to me. I have spent the last 10 years being very consistent with output on a lot of different fronts. I’ve given a lot of myself to a lot of videos and things all around the world. I’ve gotten that back, that reciprocal, and I think it is a beautiful thing. Being able to be in the game for 10 years, making all these videos and work with so many people... Rule #5: Be Yourself Your fifth and final rule reminds anyone who wants to make their own show to keep this point of view when you’re creating something for yourself. Rule number five, try to be yourself. You are a hundred percent original. Everyone now wants originality, authentic, whatever authentic means anymore. You are original. Don’t try to be me. Don’t try to be something. When I was making Dead Set On Life, I was like, I don’t want to watch Anthony Bourdain shows. Still to this day, I’ve only seen two episodes of anything Bourdain’s ever done. I’ve read all of his books multiple times. I love his books. Of course. But I was just like, if I’m going to be making this stuff, I want to put the blinders on. Now it’s even more difficult because everyone is in their own echo chamber. “Oh, I saw you do this recipe so I’m going to do the same recipe.” Being viral sucks so bad. It’s so whack because I’ve never really been viral. It’s just been this continuous... I’m not at home whipping up f*****g chorizo lasagnas, shrimp cocktails with a sauce from scratch. No, f**k that. Cocktail sauce from scratch is disgusting. I even talked about that on Just a Dash. It was like people that put lemon zest in cocktail sauce. It was like you guys are maniacal. Get out of here. What are you doing? It’s ketchup and horseradish. Maybe Tabasco. Stop it. Closing Matty, I really appreciate not just the show, but you showing people who actually want to get out there and still make something original and authentic how to do it. If people want to watch Just a Dash or see the other things that you’re working on, where can they go? How can they see what you’re up to? Just a Dash is on YouTube still, bi-weekly, new cooking something on YouTube. You can watch all three seasons of Just a Dash on Netflix. You can get my cookbooks wherever you can get cookbooks, I feel. Matty, so good to see you. Congrats on everything. I really do love this show. Hopefully we’ll run into each other somewhere in the world soon. Hey, I’ll see you when I see you buddy. It’s nice to see you right now. It really is. Get full access to Five Rules for the Good Life at fiverules.substack.com/subscribe [https://fiverules.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

I går - 13 min
episode Mashama Bailey & Johno Morisano cover

Mashama Bailey & Johno Morisano

There’s a certain type of person who dreams about opening a restaurant in Paris. Then there’s the type of person who actually does it. On this episode of Five Rules for the Good Life, I sit down with Mashama Bailey and Johno Morisano of The Grey and L’Arrêt to talk about what it really takes to open a restaurant in one of the most romanticized, bureaucratic, intimidating, and food-obsessed cities in the world. They share their Five Rules for Opening a Restaurant in Paris. We get into neighborhood politics, learning enough French to survive a conversation, battling condemned hood systems, and why your lawyer might become the most important person in your phone. It’s a conversation about hospitality, identity, stubbornness, and understanding exactly who you are before trying to introduce yourself to Paris. What I love about this conversation is how open they are about all of it. There’s no mythology here. No pretending the process was glamorous. They talk honestly about the stress, the delays, the absurdity of getting yelled at over ventilation systems, and the emotional weight of trying to earn trust in a city that takes food very seriously. But there’s also so much laughter throughout the conversation. The kind that only comes from people who survived something difficult together and can now look back at the chaos with perspective. You can hear how much they love restaurants, how much they respect Paris, and how even in the hardest moments they never lost sight of why they wanted to do this in the first place. Five Rules for the Good Life is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Transcript Hello and welcome to Five Rules for the Good Life. I’m your host, Darin Bresnitz. Today, my guests join me from all corners of the world, Mashama Bailey and Johno Morisano, whose company, Gray Spaces, made its mark with The Grey in Savannah. Now, their new restaurant, L’Arrêt in Paris, has made a splash in the city. They join me today to chat about their Five Rules for Opening a Restaurant in Paris. They talk about the importance of practicing your conversational French, how to integrate yourself into the neighborhood, and why you should always have a good lawyer on standby. Even if you aren’t planning on opening your own little bistro in Paris, it’s a great conversation for anyone looking to start their own restaurant and understand the mindset you need to succeed. So let’s get into the rules. Opening Thoughts Thank you for crossing continents to be with me today. So great to have you on the show. Happy to be here. Thanks for waking up at the crack of dawn to do it. I got two young kids. I was up hours before we chatted. When the opportunity came to open L’Arrêt in Paris, what were your thoughts about the culinary connection between Savannah and the through lines of both cities? I thought in the beginning, you know what? We’re going to France. Pack our bags. Let’s go, let’s go, let’s do what we’re gonna do. Really trying to figure out what food the neighborhood wanted to do. I think we got caught up in the idea of it all, at least I did, and not really hunkered down and realized, oh wait, we’ve been doing this for 12 years and we should absolutely bring some food from Savannah to France. Also not realizing how nuanced our food is in Savannah and how it doesn’t always read as Southern. When you’re in Savannah, it feels very Southern. It eats very Southern. But when you’re in France, they need the hits. They need the things that overtly reflect Southern cuisine so they can understand what you’re doing because it’s such a melting pot here. Southern food and Black American food is so entrenched in African ingredients that it almost reads African before it reads Southern. That’s how we started off. And now we’re really embracing the fact that we’re coming from Savannah, we’re coming from the South, and we’re cooking grits and using cornmeal, lima beans, all these really delicious Southern ingredients. We’re braising and we’re frying and we’re putting it on a plate. And I think they’re really like, “Oh, okay, I understand what this restaurant is now.” But I think before, showing up as The Grey, it was a little confusing because we weren’t overtly Southern. Becoming Part of the Neighborhood For anyone who’s spent time in Paris and gotten to know Parisians, it really is all about neighborhoods and local communities. How did you integrate yourself with the people there beyond the food, showing that you really wanted to be their neighborhood spot? The Seventh Arrondissement is a place where I have been going with my wife for 30 years. I love that. We actually found L’Arrêt because it was just a spot that I frequented called Les Parisiens. I knew the owner of that place and I know the guy who runs a little cafe around the corner, and I got to know some of the people in the neighborhood. So when we did buy L’Arrêt, we did a lot of outreach to the neighbors. Here we are, these folks from New York City and Savannah coming into a very, very old and independent neighborhood in Paris. We would set up at our friend’s cafe around the corner. We would invite the people who lived in the neighborhood, who worked in the neighborhood, and we talked to them about the plans for the restaurant. We did a lot of outreach to the building, the folks who lived in the building we’re in. We invited everybody to come hear the planning and we had to go in front of the co-op, the HOA. We were successful in some of it and we weren’t very successful at all with the building, in that they still wanted to put us through the ringer to get approvals. Which we ultimately got. It just took two years and a lot of lawyers and a lot of money. Integrating yourself into the neighborhood, serving the community, is so great. On the flip side, getting to know an area of Paris as intimately as you are, you find your own spots. What are some of the local institutions that you’ve made yourself a regular at as a way to show that you want to be a part of the neighborhood? Rosarito Heap on Boulevard Saint-Germain. I can walk in there and they’re like, “Oh, madame.” Also, there’s an Indian restaurant right around the corner from L’Arrêt. It’s called Ravi’s and they’re great there. It’s super small, quiet, only lit by candlelight. The food is really solid and it’s a great place to let your hair down and have a good meal. La Flores is my local cafe on Rue du Bac, but I’ll go to Les Ambassades. Le Fontenoir is the little cafe on Rue du Bac. I’ve known Alex, who owns that place, for 20 years. Lao Tzu, Chinese restaurant, New York City style. He would kill me if I said that because I told him once that Wo Hop is one of my favorite places. He’s like, “This is not Wo Hop.” It’s funny, we were sitting in La Flores one night having a drink. I don’t even know if we were open yet. The waiter brought us over two glasses of wine and we said, “Oh no, we just came for one.” And he said, “No, the people behind you want to buy you a glass of wine.” They were just restaurant owners. She owns a restaurant right up the street and he owns a restaurant over by Tour Montparnasse. They just recognized us and bought us a drink. I’m now super friendly with both of them. Restaurants are communal in all cities and there’s camaraderie. You just gotta make the rounds and say hi to everybody. When you become a regular at a restaurant, that’s the best thing about it. They cater to each individual and how they want to experience that space. So few people have been able to come from outside of France and open a spot that has regulars and feels like part of the city, which is why I’m so excited to talk to you about your Five Rules for Opening a Restaurant in Paris. Rule #1: Practice Your French If you’ve never been, especially when you go to a city like Paris, the second you start attempting to speak the native language, they will switch to English for you immediately. But that doesn’t mean, look, if you’re there for a week that’s one thing. But if you’re setting up shop, it’s important to do as Parisians do, which is a big part of your Rule Number One: Practice your French. I have been trying to learn French since high school, so I think it just may not be in the cards for me. I will continue to try. I think I just have this huge intimidation factor when it comes to French. Being able to be cordial is the most important thing. You don’t have to speak it well. You just have to be able to say hello, introduce yourself, ask someone how they’re doing because that’s just table stakes in France. “Bonjour” is really like, hello, have a good day. Then it’s followed by “comment ça va?” And it could be a stranger on the street. You’re literally just saying, “Hello, how are you? I see you. How are you doing?” That’s the basis. Then everything else depends on how much they want to help you out. It depends on how fast they talk or how slow they’re willing to talk and bring you along. But they’re very interested in immersing you into their culture. Learning the language becomes easier. Rule #2: Have a Sense of Humor You have to have a sense of humor about it. For a lot of situations and in a lot of instances, it’s just not funny. But you have to be able to see the humanity in a situation. Culturally, everyone here is so different from Americans. So you do have to approach it with a sense of, I can’t take myself too seriously. The folks here, they work to live. They don’t live to work. That’s a sensibility that is nice to adapt, especially for people like Johno and myself where you kind of have to slow down a little bit, enjoy yourself a little bit, laugh at yourself a little bit in order to get through the things that are really tough, like not being able to open up a restaurant for a year and a half. It wasn’t very funny, but now we can find moments in those times that were humorous and we can let it go. We don’t have to drag it along with us. For me, this is a dream come true. Having a neighborhood spot in Paris is something I’ve dreamed about since I got in the restaurant business. You have to keep your head above the weeds and realize that even though it was f*****g hard, it’s great. Rule #3: Know Who You Are Having gone through all of the steps, no shortcuts, convincing the building, convincing the neighborhood, convincing the courts, you have to have a firm backbone, a clear idea of who you are and what you want to be, which is a core value of your Rule Number Three. It was a lot of pressure. We’re going to one of the greatest food cities in the world. How are we going to show up? You can’t forget the North Star. Southern food is on the move. We’re taking Southern food to places where Black Americans found refuge over the course of the 20th century, Black American creatives. We’re taking food that started where the Great Migration and all of the roots of food and culture came out of the South. We just decided that’s who we are. That’s what we’re doing. We’re bringing Southern food to a city that has provided refuge for people that wanted to express themselves for a really long time. And I think that’s when the epiphany happened. Rule #4: Understand the Infrastructure It’s one thing to have those epiphanies. It’s one thing to have the right attitude. But for anyone who’s ever opened up a restaurant, there is the physical nature of having a running kitchen. Knowing how to build one in America is different than any other country. And once you get into their rules, it’s a completely different ballgame, which makes up your Rule Number Four. Make sure that the hood system hasn’t been condemned by the city of Paris. The space has been a working restaurant, everybody says in the neighborhood, for 100 years. I don’t know if that’s true or not true, but the last time the restaurant was renovated was in 1970. The one thing we had to do when we bought the restaurant, the only cooking implement was a four-top range with a small oven in it. We gutted the restaurant. When we gutted the restaurant, we actually did a preservation project. For example, the comptoir, the cafe counter, our contractors removed the marble facade, which is so Brady Bunch 1970s that you could never replicate it again. We put it back on the new comptoir that is structurally sound. We did very similar things at The Grey. But the extraction pipe that vented the hood goes up through the core of the building to the roof. It’s like a pipe that’s maybe two inches in diameter. When the city came and inspected it, they were like, “Oh, you can never use that.” And we’re like, “Okay, what do you want us to do?” They said, “Just run a new modern hood under the full platform, the drop ceiling, and you can run it out the bike room here into the courtyard and go up the side of the building and vent the hood.” Well, the neighbors thought that was the worst idea. They literally picketed in the street. They literally tried to use that as a way to prevent us from reopening a restaurant. Every Parisian loves food and loves restaurants. They just don’t want them in their building. We got in a big battle over the hood system and we will never make that mistake again. Everybody in Paris has had a battle over the hood system, frankly. It’s a rite of passage. You don’t want to obviously overrun any of the neighbors, but at some point you go, you know what? We’ve checked all the boxes. We’ve done everything right. Rule #5: Have a Good Lawyer on Standby Your fifth and final rule deals with this one person you have on speed dial to make sure that you can open the doors. What’s your Rule Number Five? Have a good lawyer on standby. And for anyone who wants to open a restaurant in Paris, her name is Rebecca Cohen. Give her all the praise. I will send you her number. And Olivier, more of our corporate guy. The French love a battle, right? They love a battle. Do they respect you more if you beat them in battle? Duh. Honestly, that’s a really good question. For the most part, yes. But Madame Cotina, who I love in the building, I’m very kind to her. She hates me with a passion post-battle. For the most part, you earn respect, but you could just as easily be dead to them and they not have a problem. I like that binary option. I’m going to eat at your restaurant every day or you’re dead to me. Closing If people want to stop by L’Arrêt or if they’re in Savannah and want to go by The Grey, or just see what you two are up to, where you are in the world, what’s the best place for them to check you two out? Websites for both restaurants. 36 Rue de l’Université in Paris and downtown Savannah, Georgia. Next time I’m in either city, I’m going to swing in. Congratulations to you both. Good luck with the next six months of operation. I can’t wait to see what you continue to build. Thank you. Thank you so much. We really appreciate you taking the time for us. Really great, thanks Darin. Get full access to Five Rules for the Good Life at fiverules.substack.com/subscribe [https://fiverules.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

18. mai 2026 - 13 min
episode Shaheen Ghazaly cover

Shaheen Ghazaly

Shaheen Ghazali [https://www.instagram.com/kurrypinch/?hl=en], the chef and owner of Kurrypinch [https://kurrypinch.com/], joins Five Rules for the Good Life to share his Five Rules for Getting to Know South Asian Cuisine. Born in Pakistan, raised in Sri Lanka, and shaped by years traveling the world as a marine cadet with his father, Shaheen approaches food through the lens of curiosity, evolution, and connection. This conversation goes far beyond the idea of “authenticity” and digs into how cuisines borrow, adapt, and grow over generations. From why spice doesn’t always mean heat to how curry is often misunderstood in the West, Shaheen breaks down the common language that exists across cultures and why understanding food means looking deeper than labels. What I love most about Shaheen’s approach is that he talks about food the way some people talk about music, art, or family history. There’s a calm confidence in the way he explains flavor, balance, and tradition without turning any of it into dogma. He understands that food is alive. It changes with migration, memory, trade, and circumstance. Sitting with him, you realize he’s less interested in defending a cuisine than inviting people into it. The best meals do that. They lower your guard, tell you a story, and make the unfamiliar feel personal. Shaheen cooks and speaks from that exact place. Five Rules for the Good Life is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Introduction Hello and welcome to Five Rules for the Good Life. I’m your host, Darin Bresnitz. Today I’m joined by Shaheen Ghazaly, the chef and owner of Kurrypinch [https://kurrypinch.com/], a Sri Lankan restaurant here in Los Angeles. He shares his five rules for getting to know South Asian cuisine. It’s about the fundamental understanding that food and cuisine is always evolving, that spice doesn’t always mean spicy, and that balance is the key ingredient to any successful meal. It is an incredibly philosophical conversation about cooking and global cuisine, and how anyone out there who wants to know more about what they’re eating should dive a little deeper. So let’s get into the rules. Shaheen, so nice to meet you. Thank you for stepping away from the very busy Curry Pint to sit down and chat with me for the show. Thank you for having me. You were born in Pakistan, raised in Sri Lanka, and spent a large part of your early life traveling with your father. How did that shape your outlook on food? Since I was a kid, my mom is a Pakistani, my dad is a Sri Lankan. When my mom passed away, we moved to Sri Lanka. My dad was taken care of, and since he was traveling, he taught us how to take care of ourselves by having limited ingredients at home to make food. Breakfast, whatever it’s available. That made me be creative and come up with my own way of food. Since I was 10 years old, I fell in love with food, not only by looking at my aunt cook, I just fell in love with it. We were not raised like most Sri Lankans. They go with the spices like heat, but we grew up having flavored and not too much heat going on. That deep love of food, is that what brought you to the United States to open a restaurant? No, the cooking was a hobby. I always enjoyed it. After I finished my college and everything, I started traveling with my dad. He was a captain in a ship. I joined the ship with him as a Marine Cadet officer and then I traveled the world. When we were growing up, we were limited to certain things or knowledge. For example, fish cutlets, that’s a Sri Lankan dish. But when I started traveling, then I learned it’s just a term that we use when it comes to the technique, the method. The ingredients are all very, very similar. This made me dig deep into culture and food. When I said traveling, I have been to many countries. Whenever we touched down at a port, my first thing would be to go and try many different cuisines. Their traditional food. So I wanted to bring, because Sri Lankan food is not that popular in LA, I just wanted to introduce our cuisine in a term people would understand. At the end of the day, the ingredients and the technique remained true to our culture, our background, and things like that. Was there a moment when you realized that enough people in LA, or the people who kept coming back to the restaurant, really understood what you were cooking and learned about the Sri Lankan food and the South Asian food you were serving? Not all of them. Sure. I have had so many times, “Oh, this is not authentic.” I’m like, there’s no such thing as authentic. Sure. Because in Sri Lanka, there are many regions, many parts, many cultures. We may use the same spices in a different manner. For instance, we have a dish called Jaffna prawn curry. The reason we call it Jaffna, it’s a part of Sri Lanka, and they are more influenced by South Indian food. Most of the food that we have or currently use is influenced by South Indian food. We try our level best with all the new guests who come to our restaurant to give them a brief background about certain food because the terms of curry or curry, they’re scared because I don’t know what they have in their mind, but when you mention curry they just go bongas. Being such a lifelong devotee to food and admirer of cuisine culture, and having restaurants of your own, I’m so excited for you to share your five rules for getting to know South Asian cuisine. 1) Know that food is always evolving. There’s been a large movement in the United States specifically about third culture cuisine. When people call food authentic, they’re usually talking about just one point of a cuisine’s long story. People have traded spices, ingredients, and cooking ideas across the continent. When people visit our restaurants, especially South Asians, they might say this is not authentic Sri Lankan or Indian food, but every culture, city, and region has its own. Having these recipes evolve means that certain words that people might be afraid of, those definitions change as well. 2) Spice doesn’t always mean spicy. And one of the key elements, the heat of a dish and how that’s evolved, makes up your rule number two. Spices are used for aroma, depth, and balance, not just for the heat. My way of cooking, or what I have learned... Agreeing on these terms or agreeing on these... 3) Not every curry is a sauce. The approach to what goes into a dish or what even makes up a dish is something that you need to find a common language on, especially when you’re running a restaurant and explaining how that might differ in what you’re serving. Not everyone is going to align with what you say, especially as you strike out to define your own take on the cuisine, which is a fundamental of your rule number three. All the curries, they aren’t sauces. The word curry describes many, many different dishes. Some curries are rich and saucy, while others are dry, stir-fried, or just lightly spiced. Curry is really a blend of spices shaped by each culture. 4) Cuisines often share the same ideas. Once you get into these cuisines, as you saw in your travel across the world, a lot of the time what makes up a dish from culture to culture has more in common than differences, which makes up your rule number four. During my travel, people in different cultures often cook with the same idea using the local ingredient. For example, biryanis, spice, cheese, and a dish like jambalaya is similar. Flatbread, like roti, is similar to tortilla. The similarities show that food brings culture together more than it separates them. One ingredient used in a different form. At the end of the day, it’s just one word. The idea, the concept, everything is the same, and the way of making is maybe a little bit different. If you use those ingredients and spices and everything, the end result would be pretty much the same flavorful. 5) Balance is what makes a meal. That end result can be generalized by people who don’t understand a specific cuisine, but your fifth and final rule talks about this idea of bringing harmony to any dish to fit the right situation. What’s your rule number five? The balance is... A great dish relies on a few key elements working together in balance. I would say flavor balance, texture, aroma, freshness and ingredients, techniques, harmony, the story behind the dish. All these come together. People do get scared of it. I would say, don’t be. You try many things in your life. Just try different cuisine. The one thing that we follow at Curry Pinch is that we cook our meal as we cook for our loved ones. I love that. We don’t provide unhealthy food or give it to our family members. That’s the same concept I have when it comes to our guests. Good for you, good for your health. Thank you so much for sharing your Five Rules. If people want to come by Curry Pinch or see some of the food you’re cooking, where can they go? Walk-ins are always welcome. They can visit our website at www.kurrypinch.com [https://kurrypinch.com/]. They can reserve through Resy. We would recommend doing a reservation. There are times we are fully booked. And yeah, for everyone listening, that’s Curry with a K. Shaheen, thank you so much. Congrats on everything and looking forward to swinging in very soon for a bite. Thank you very much. You’re always welcome. Get full access to Five Rules for the Good Life at fiverules.substack.com/subscribe [https://fiverules.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

11. mai 2026 - 9 min
episode Julianne Fraser cover

Julianne Fraser

This week on Five Rules for the Good Life, I sit down with Julianne Fraser, [https://www.instagram.com/juliannefraser] founder and CEO of Dialogue New York [https://www.instagram.com/dialoguenyc], to talk about what it actually takes to protect your creativity in a world that’s trying to flatten it. We get into the tension between algorithms and originality, why setting boundaries with social media isn’t optional anymore, and how carving out real time for yourself can unlock better ideas than any scroll ever will. Julianne shares her Five Rules for Cultivating Creativity, from building guardrails around your digital life to creating space for “creative mornings” to trusting your own taste instead of chasing trends. It’s a conversation about getting back to yourself, doing the work offline, and making sure your ideas still feel like yours. What I appreciate most about this conversation is how practical it is. There’s no fantasy version of creativity here. It’s about being intentional with your time, attention, and input. It’s about knowing when to step away, when to go outside, when to talk to people, and when to sit alone with a notebook to actually think. That balance is hard to find, especially when everything online is designed to pull you back in, but it’s the difference between reacting to the world and shaping your own point of view. Once you start to feel that shift, even in small ways, it changes how you show up in your work and in your life. My latest profile for Fine Dining Lovers [https://www.finedininglovers.com/explore/articles/one-record-time-brad-mathews-music-cooking-and-sobriety] is on Chef Brad Alan Mathews, [https://www.instagram.com/abutchersson/?hl=en] the chef and co-owner of Bar Le Cotê [https://www.barlecote.com/]in Los Olivos, CA. He shares his lifelong love of food and music, and his journey to sobriety. Thank you to Paul Feinstein [https://www.instagram.com/mrpaulfeinstein/?hl=en] for his guidance and support with this piece. For anyone in the industry struggling with substances or looking for options for a different approach to a work/life balance, Ben’s Friends [https://www.bensfriendshope.com/] is a good place to start. INTRODUCTION Hello, and welcome to Five Rules for the Good Life. I’m your host, Darin Bresnitz. Today, I sit down with Julianne Fraser [https://www.instagram.com/juliannefraser], the founder and CEO of Dialogue New York [https://www.instagram.com/dialoguenyc], a digital media agency. She shares her Five Rules for Cultivating Creativity. She talks about the irony of her process in setting social media guardrails, carving out time in anyone’s busy schedule for creative mornings, and that by following feelings and not trends will lead you to your best ideas. It’s a great conversation for anyone who’s looking to add more creativity into their life and to ground themselves with daily practices of making space to allow for new ideas. So let’s get into the rules. OPENING CONVERSATION Julianne, it is so nice to meet you. So great to see someone coming all the way to Brooklyn. I miss my hometown. Welcome to the show. Thank you for having me. Excited to chat. I’m a child of the 80s and 90s. I still remember the DIY punk era of the hard line between creativity and brands. Today’s generation seems not to care about that. Why has creativity come to be such a commodity? Why do you think that shift happened? I think it’s been a slow erosion of creativity over time. I’ve been in my career for 15 years in the digital space. Little by little, the way that social media has grown and the power of the algorithm has just kind of shrunk original creativity over time. This year, in the last five years with AI, it’s compounding a really frightening degree. It’s just the nature of technology and innovation. What’s interesting is as we’re seeing it shrivel away in many facets of social media, I think people are really championing it. Such desire to get back to nostalgic, old ways of analog. I’m hoping for like a renaissance. I’m hopeful that people will go back to kind of old-fashioned ways of sparking their creativity. IAN SCHRAGER & HOSPITALITY INSPIRATION Looking backwards at people who might be inspirations for that spark, you worked with Ian Schrager, someone who turned the idea of going to a hotel into a story and experience. What did you take away from your time with him? That was my most inspiring brand I’ve ever worked with in my career. What he did with the hospitality industry in the 80s, first with Morgan’s Hotel Group, really just kind of revolutionized the notion of a lobby as a space of socialization and inspiration. Not only did he flip the way that people interacted with hotels, every single minute detail of his hotels brought to life this spirit. He has these guardian angels in the hallways at Hudson Hotel that look over his guests, or every single pen on every single property was black. Just like really old school rules of brand identity that led to these experiences that you cannot replicate, and so many hotel brands try. From a marketer, I joined really early on in my career. It was just unbelievable gold to work with, to be able to leverage all of that storytelling. BUILDING DIALOGUE Storytelling and learning how to work with brands and to present them to people led you to being the founder of Dialogue, your digital brand marketing consulting agency. What unique offering did you want to bring to the marketplace that you weren’t seeing or that you felt there was a space to make a new name for yourself? When I started my company, I had this core belief of what it takes to build community and a network of creative people. The word influencer can have so many different facets. The way we approach it can be a viral TikTok sensation, but also someone who has 10,000. What I found really interesting is that our strategy and our approach has never shifted from day one. I think that’s the fundamentals of building relationships and human connection at scale, but never impacting the real human connection with these partners and also the creative campaigns that we’re concepting. What I find most exciting this year specifically of what I’m working on with Dialogue is just how to strike that balance between being able to touch with more brands while still doing the most authentic, real relationship building, really creative narrative driving, and never sacrificing that. Preaching to the choir. I absolutely love it. And I love that approach. The fact that you’re offering a take that both understands that we are dealing with the absolute shift in the way that we are creating, but also staying true to the core tenant, which is storytelling, which is why I’m so excited for you to be sharing your five rules for cultivating creativity. RULE #1: ESTABLISH SOCIAL MEDIA GUARDRAILS And in a world where we are in this post slop never ending stream of content, it’s easy for your brain to just go absolutely on the fritz while you doom scroll. Your first rule talks about the importance of setting up some boundaries when you go hunting for inspiration across different social channels. What’s your rule number one? It’s not lost to me the irony that I own a digital marketing agency and my first rule is establish social media guardrails. I love it. I bring this to my team. I believe in this wholeheartedly. Social media is beautiful and inspiring and incredible. And I even think from my personal creative, when I’m really into interior design or cooking, I’m finding the most incredible artisans in Rotterdam to build custom shelves that I never would have discovered if not through Pinterest or Instagram or whatnot. There are these really beautiful platforms to find inspiration, but if you’re not conscious in how you’re engaging with them, it just completely numbs your brains. I have two young daughters. When I get home, I put my phone in this container. I have to be so physical to put it behind two physical doors. I’m so intentional because if that doesn’t happen, these devices are designed for addictions. At night, I’m putting my phone on airplane mode at nine o’clock. I’m plugging it in outside of my bedroom so I’m not shifting to that. I’ve found over the years I have to be really strict. So creating whatever those guardrails are that best suit you, that’s rule number one in my mind. Once you create those guardrails and you get off your phone, you’ll start to realize that you have an extra 15, 30, 40 minutes of the day that you thought you were so busy that you cut things out like leaving your desk or, as someone like me, leaving your home. RULE #2: FOSTER YOUR “WEAK TIES” Your second rule talks about the importance of reestablishing those routines that get you out into the world. What’s your rule number two? As convenience has, and you know this as a New Yorker, you literally can get anything at any time in the city. Uber Eats, you no longer are going to pick up your Indian takeout down the street. We’re skipping past the cashier at Whole Foods and we’re going straight to the checkout computers. We’re texting friends instead of calling and speaking to them. And so I think the more and more and more convenience is prioritized, we’re cutting out this notion of weak ties. Weak ties aren’t friends. They’re not coworkers. They’re not even acquaintances. They’re just people that you’ll bump into in a day, like the barista at your cafe or like the front desk at your gym, whatever it might be. And it’s really the fabric of a lot of our creativity and inspiration and speaking to people. And I really try to slow down and chit chat with the woman who drops off our mail. She’s wonderful, and it’s those little mini interactions that are really getting us outside of our bubble and off our phones and sparking things that we might not think of or know. RULE #3: CREATE SPACE WITH CREATIVE MORNINGS Setting up your day for success is such an important part of really getting things done. Creating the space to actually create is a core tenet of rule number three. I’ve instilled what I call creative mornings for my team of 10. I love it. We’ve done this for five, six years. And I really, really believe in the power of it, not only for my team’s creative output, but from all of our personal satisfaction. It’s a full morning out of the month where all of us take three hours on a Tuesday morning. They can do whatever will inspire them creatively as long as they’re off their phones and their computers. They can go to a morning matinee movie, they can browse shops in West Village. That is the point. Because I’ve found the most creative impactful business decisions have come out of those mornings by myself with a piece of paper just working through something I’ve been blocked on that I haven’t had the mental space to actually think about. More emphasis on the importance of all of my team fostering our offline influence, our offline lifestyles, creating that work-life balance so that we have the space to be doing creative work. Because if not, everything will become the exact same in the digital marketing world. How we differentiate ourselves is through our creative minds and our personal experiences offline. Those experiences offline cannot be underestimated from the importance of fueling your own creativity. RULE #4: CURATE YOUR CULTURAL PALETTE I many times have tried to go outside the things that I know that I like and then feel that I’ve wasted time in hunting for new inspiration. But I know that I still need to look for new things that are going to inspire me. Your fourth rule talks about how understanding what you like and what’s on your radar is a good way to find something new to inspire you. It’s about curating your cultural palette. And I read this in Rick Rubin’s book a couple years ago. Everybody’s palette is going to be different. We don’t all need to be doing the same. And I think that also is such a trap in social media where people are showcasing how they’re getting inspired and just someone copies another influencer’s exact date. I think it has to be so personalized to find what it is that makes your heart sing. I’m obsessed with cooking and food. It just makes me so happy. Making sure that I’m carving out time offline where I’m testing recipes or I’m going to a market or I’m going to a new restaurant. The more that I’m expanding that cultural palette of mine, not only from a business perspective, it makes me tenfold a better consultant to a food brand, to a fashion brand. All of that taste and experience funnels into our work. But also just from a personal satisfaction standpoint, I really can feel these moments where I’m in my creative flow and I’m learning. I really find moments where I’m learning still. There’s curiosity behind creativity. We have to continue to learn and discover new things as part of this. RULE #5: FOLLOW FEELINGS, NOT TRENDS Discovering those new things and knowing what to follow, your fifth and final rule talks about, for lack of a better word, your gut, refining that and knowing when to listen to it when something piques your interest. What’s your rule number five? It’s following your feelings and not trends. The power of these algorithms, it’s becoming so homogenous, it’s starting to freak me out. Everyone’s hair and makeup looks the same. Everyone’s plating their food the same way. Everyone is dressing like Carolyn Bessette because of Love Story the TV show and backward hats and polos for all the boys. Everyone’s homes are identical with boucle. I love all those styles, of course. The trends are amplified tenfold because of social media. And so I’m really trying to spark ways to follow what makes my heart sing rather than what I’m seeing. When I was designing my daughter’s room, I made a conscious effort to 100% pull inspiration from analog sources. So I purposely did not be on social media. It’s led to this really funky, weird universe of fuchsia pink and cherry red that is so unique that I’ve never seen anywhere. And I’m so excited for her to live in that universe of inspiration and creativity. But I never would have thought of that because if you go in Pinterest and you do Arch Digest, Child’s Nursery, you’re going to get a standard rulebook to follow and it’ll be beautiful, but it won’t make your heart sing. So I really look for those moments and carve out ways to really feel the feelings of creativity beyond just the trend. CLOSING I deeply appreciate you sharing those feelings and the approach. If people want to see what you’re up to or what Dialogue is up to, where can they go, how can they follow along? Best to follow along Julianne Fraser on Instagram, Dialogue NYC on Instagram as well. We’re going to be going through a full brand universe refresh. Those would be the best spots, I’d say. Congratulations on everything. I look forward to seeing what comes next, and hopefully next time I’m back in Brooklyn, we can grab a coffee. I would love that. Thank you. This is so fun. Get full access to Five Rules for the Good Life at fiverules.substack.com/subscribe [https://fiverules.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

4. mai 2026 - 12 min
episode Peter Barrett cover

Peter Barrett

In this episode of Five Rules for the Good Life, I head to the Hudson Valley to hang out with food writer, photographer, gardener, forager, and fermenter Peter Barrett [https://www.instagram.com/cookblog/?hl=en]. He shares his Five Rules for Nurturing a Real Cooking Practice. We talk about why growing even one herb on a windowsill can change the way you think about food, why practice matters more than perfection, how to stop hiding behind cookbooks, and why taking a food Sabbath can make the rest of your week easier. It’s a conversation about cooking with intention, but also about building a life that feels more connected, more grounded, and a little less performative. The best cooking habits are the ones that fit your actual life, not the fantasy version of it. Not everyone is going to mill flour, tend a massive garden, or spend Sunday making twelve jars of pickles, and that’s fine. Sometimes the win is roasting one chicken, growing basil in a pot, or learning three meals you can make without thinking. The point is not to turn your kitchen into a stage set for Instagram, it’s to create a rhythm that supports you. Cooking should lower the temperature of your life, not raise it. It should make your week easier, your table fuller, and your relationship to food more personal. The goal is not perfection. It’s finding a way of feeding yourself that feels sustainable, satisfying, and yours. Five Rules for the Good Life is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Introduction Hello and welcome to Five Rules for the Good Life. I’m your host, Darin Bresnitz. Today, I head up to the Hudson Valley to sit down with food writer, photographer, gardener, forager, and fermenter, Peter Barrett, who’s here to share his 5 Rules for Nurturing a Real Cooking Practice. He talks about how growing just one thing can change your perspective on life, that there is no excuse for giving up on yourself in the kitchen without loads of practice, and that being gentle on yourself when it comes to cooking is a real recipe for success. This is a great interview for anyone who’s looking to get started in the kitchen or for anyone who’s hit a lull and looking to find some new inspiration. So let’s get into the rules. Peter’s Journey Peter, so good to see you. I can’t believe it’s already been a few months. Thanks for making time for the show. That’s my pleasure. Thanks for having me. You’ve spent decades growing and foraging and preserving, cooking as much of your own food as possible. What drives you to do this? I was in the artwork. I moved up to the Hudson Valley from Brooklyn 20 years ago now. I put in a garden. It was one of the first things I did. My grandfather had taught me to make pickles when I was a little kid because he was from Poland. And when he grew up, that was a survival strategy. That had nothing to do with hipsters or yuppies or anything. It was staying alive through a long, hard winter. I just got more and more into the growing and the cooking and the fermenting. And I started to learn about mushrooms and other wild edible things. I started writing a blog just as a sort of journal to keep track of my kitchen exploits. And then over the course of the ensuing years, I just did more and more of that. I got one magazine gig, then another magazine gig. I’m working on a book with Dominique Crenn right now. We’re supposed to go to France next month. So it just sort of morphed. As the art tapered off, the food thing sort of rose to meet it. Cooking Across Countries You’ve cooked a lot in America, in the Hudson Valley, and you’ve been able to travel to Italy and go into France with Dominique Crenn. Country to country, do you find a difference in this type of approach of growing and preserving and really understanding the food that you eat? It’s simplistic, but I think places that have winter have different fermentation cultures than places that don’t. You can’t f**k around with the absence of food when the ground is frozen, of course. If you think about Korea and Northern Europe, Eastern Europe, the pickle game is strong, and the pickle game is strong because they had to. There’s what they call sottoglio in Italian, which is where they preserve things under oil, or sottaccetto, which is in jars of vinegar. You wander around in most parts of Italy, south of Alto Adige, and everyone has a garden that’s more or less year-round. It’s a different approach to preservation. It’s less mandatory and baked into the cuisine, if that makes any sense. Why Sharing Matters One of the things I’ve loved about your writing and your storytelling is that you really want to share this knowledge with people across the world and people who want to get into this type of practice themselves. Why is that so important to you to share this knowledge and to teach people that they can get started, even if it seems daunting at first? Honestly, because I’m sitting here right now talking to you on the basis of my self-guided passion. I am driven to learn about food because I love it, because it fascinates me, whether it’s wild food, domestic food, different processes, transforming it with microbes or other preservation methods. My kitchen has now taken the place of my studio. It feels the way my studio used to when I was a painter. It’s just incredibly exciting to me. It’s fun. Food intersects with every other area of human endeavor. What’s your specialty? What’s your aptitude? What’s your passion? Food intersects with it. And so there’s always a way to reach people by relating via food. And I, because I’m a self-taught home cook, I can meet people where they are because I don’t speak. I mean, I speak tweezer, but I do not use tweezer, if you know what I’m saying. Rule One: Grow Something That democratic approach, that self-starting nature of learning to cook, the fact that you didn’t go to culinary school is so common among so many people who love food today, which is why I’m so excited for you to share your five rules for nurturing a real cooking practice. It’s easy to look at Instagram and see these gorgeous gardens and these well manicured plots, and it can be daunting to even get started. And your first rule talks about the idea of just making something happen with your own hands. What’s your rule number one? Rule number one is grow something. I have a ridiculously big garden. But if you go to the very far other end of the spectrum, you have a sunny windowsill. Grow a pot of chives, grow one thing. Parsley doesn’t need a whole lot of light. If you’ve got a little more space, grow a few pots, even just herbs. If you have a fire escape, you could even upgrade to a little pot of hot peppers or cherry tomatoes, which do well in containers. Nurturing another living thing, even if you don’t have kids, even if you don’t have pets, nurturing a living thing is good for you. I use my lawn the same way. I don’t spray anything because it’s insanity to spray poison on your lawn. Dandelions are one of my favorite examples of wild food that everybody understands, everybody recognizes it, and they’re really f*****g good to eat and good for you. A lot of what I come to share about food is that all these win-win scenarios involving simplicity, frugality, ancient technologies for preservation that also add nutritional value, and they connect you to your food. Connecting you to your food is a way to further your own human connection. So if you can start from nothing to something, grow one more thing than you currently are growing. Rule Two: Practice Getting started is definitely a big first step. Growing the one thing, making bread once, trying out your pickle recipe once is a great way to get involved with your own kitchen and your own life and live with more intent. The problem is that if you fail once or even twice or even five times, there is that desire to give up. Your rule number two talks about the importance about keeping at it. Practice. There’s a reason why doctors and lawyers and yogis, it’s the word practice to describe what they do. Definitionally, it means there’s no destination. It’s only journey. It’s a really important perspective to have when you come to cooking. You can learn a lot in your 70, 80 years as a home cook. There’s a lot to be said for the kind of discipline that puts you in the kitchen every day that you can physically get in there. And there are lots of ways you can make really good food for yourself. Making a commitment to honor yourself and the people whose health and wellbeing you’re at least partially responsible for by showing up in your own kitchen and doing what it takes to supply your kitchen with the ingredients that you need to make healthy, wholesome food. Rule Three: Ween Yourself off Cookbooks The idea of creating this safe space in your kitchen is a really good practice. And my kitchen’s full of cookbooks, which I love to go to and to read and gather for inspiration. Same. But at some point I go, all right, I got to get my nose out of this. I got to cook. I got to make these recipes work for me, which is a big part of your rule number three. Wean yourself off of cookbooks. I think of cookbooks as somewhere between training wheels and sheet music. There’s a lot of knowledge that is assumed in your average cookbook. I think that as a home cook, finding ways to give yourself that knowledge by first and foremost, giving yourself the permission to fail is really the only way to do it. And that goes back to the practice thing, right? If you show up every day, yeah, baking bread is not always easy. When I teach baking, I tell people, if you can commit to baking 10 times in the next two months, you are then forgiven for giving up on it. But you gotta do it 10 times in the next two months. Try to get it into your muscles. Try to get it into your life. Understand the rhythms, in my case, usually sourdough, and how you can factor that in given job and school and other stuff you have to do. You can let it hang out in the fridge for long periods. So it’s very forgiving. Then if you still don’t like it or you can’t make it work, you have my permission to give up. But you can’t just do it once and f**k it up and say, I’m not a baker. Recipes are great. Use a recipe the first time, then try and do it using the force the next time. Or try to substitute something the next time. Understanding that this is going to behave in a similar way because it’s related to that. It has similar properties. Then you’re cooking the way these mythical grandmas that everyone likes to invoke are cooking. Rule Four: Observe a Food Sabbath I found that once I’ve gone on a long stretch of cooking, especially if I’m doing something big for the holidays, I need a break because I get tired or I’ll get lazy and I’ll make a mistake or I’ll do shortcuts. And taking that break and giving yourself the permission to not have to cook everything is a fundamental value of rule number four. You have to be gentle with yourself. We all have to be gentle with ourselves and each other. Take a break, order something. It’s totally fine. My fourth rule, rather, is observe a food Sabbath. That can mean taking a break from cooking, but in my case, honestly, I refer to it as a day where you turn off media and you spend a day or half a day in your kitchen front-loading the labor for a week’s worth of healthy home cooking. Let’s say you roast a chicken. Let’s say you cook a pot of beans. Let’s say you bake a loaf or two of bread. Maybe you make a jar of something pickled that’s local and fresh at the time. And then fill in the blanks, a couple other things maybe. Just simple, make a jar of jam if it’s that season or whatever. And by the end of even just a few hours, this sounds daunting, but these things don’t take a lot of work and a lot of them happen to you concurrently. By the end of that period, you’ve connected with the ingredient. And so you have all this beautiful custom control at a nuanced level. Rule Five: No F*****g AI I love this idea of putting down technology and just getting in the kitchen. Your fifth and final rule talks about ignoring this other rising technological advancement. What’s your rule number five? Rule number five is no f*****g AI. Every day we learn more about how horrendous it is for every living thing. I’m not disputing that maybe it helped you do your taxes this year. You know, fine. Sure. Zygazunt, I don’t give a s**t about that. What I’m talking about is the fact that we know that this tool is using water and electricity that human beings need to live. And it is sucking it up at increasingly voracious and unsustainable rates. We know that relying on it makes us dumber. It causes cognitive impairment. Robots don’t understand food, understand anything about humanity, even though they’ve gotten really good at sounding like they’re conscious and they’re talking to you, they’re not. They’re probability models. They only know what words are most likely to follow the word before it. It’s not a brain. It’s not an entity, it’s an algorithm. It doesn’t like you, it doesn’t care about you, it is not conscious, and it’s trying to kill us all. So keep it the f**k out of your kitchen. Closing I’m gonna leave us on that passionate note. Peter, it is so good to see you and to hear from you. If people want to follow your writings, your adventures, get some intentional cooking tips from you, where can they go? Things on Bread is one of the two newsletters. Flavor Freaks is the other one. And I am cookblog on Instagram. Incredible. Well, thank you, Peter. Appreciate you making the time. Definitely going to be doing some front-loading cooking in the next few weeks so I can have a much easier and more relaxing time in the kitchen during the week. I like it. And Darin, thank you so much. I like your show and I’m thrilled to be part of it. Get full access to Five Rules for the Good Life at fiverules.substack.com/subscribe [https://fiverules.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

27. april 2026 - 10 min
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