Holy Desires

What a Dinner Date Can Teach Us About Sex

Imagine taking your wife out to a beautiful dinner. You finish your appetizer, your entrée, and dessert while she has barely touched her first course. Then you sit back, satisfied, while she stays at the table hungry and unfulfilled. St. Francis de Sales once used an extended dining metaphor to talk about married love, and I think it can teach us husbands something we really need to hear. In this conversation, I'll share what the Catechism teaches about the purpose of sex in marriage, why a slower and more attentive approach leads to deeper pleasure and connection for both of you, and how a simple dinner date can reshape the way you love your wife. Grab a cup of coffee and let's talk about it. Resources mentioned in this episode: 📖 Introduction to the Devout Life by St. Francis de Sales. ____________ 🔥 Download my FREE guide for Catholic Husbands: 3 Secrets to Becoming the Lover of Her Dreams [https://canafeast.com/holydesires-3secrets?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=HD%20Podcast%20Links] Learn the 2 most common reasons wives don't enjoy sex, and what to do about it! >>> Get it here: https://canafeast.com/holydesires-3secrets [https://canafeast.com/holydesires-3secrets?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=HD%20Podcast%20Links]

Why you can't tell your wife to lose weight

This is a touchy subject, and I almost didn't record it. What do you do when you have real feelings about your wife's changing body? Maybe it's weight. Maybe it's the way pregnancy, stress, illness, or just the years have changed her. Maybe you feel guilty for even noticing. This conversation is not about your wife. This is about what's happening in our own hearts as husbands. In this discussion, I'll share why your wife's body is not a project to manage, what it looks like to love her the way Christ loves the Church, and whether a husband can ever bring up health without leaving his wife feeling one ounce of shame (there's a way that heals and a way that wounds). I'll also share something Sarah said recently that prompted me to talk about this particular topic in the first place. If your desire feels more complicated than it used to, you are not alone. There is a holy way forward. Grab a cup of coffee and let's talk about it. ____________ 🔥 Download my FREE guide for Catholic Husbands: 3 Secrets to Becoming the Lover of Her Dreams [https://canafeast.com/holydesires-3secrets?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=HD%20Podcast%20Links] Learn the 2 most common reasons wives don't enjoy sex, and what to do about it! >>> Get it here: https://canafeast.com/holydesires-3secrets [https://canafeast.com/holydesires-3secrets?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=HD%20Podcast%20Links]

When Your Sex Life Is the Canary in the Coal Mine

Here's something that might surprise you. Some of the most common themes in my Holy Desires coaching calls, both group and one-on-one, have very little to do with sex itself. Three out of the four biggest brakes on a couple's sex life actually live outside the bedroom. Sometimes a struggling sex life is the canary in the coal mine, an early signal that something else in your marriage needs your attention. In this discussion, I'll build on last week's four-categories conversation and zoom in on what this looks like in everyday married life. I'll talk about why chronic stress is one of the biggest brakes on sexual desire for both men and women (and how it can sneak up on a household), and I'll share two practical moves any husband can start this week to claw back some margin and put real joy back into your home. Grab a cup of coffee and let's talk about it. ____________ 🔥 Download my FREE guide for Catholic Husbands: 3 Secrets to Becoming the Lover of Her Dreams [https://canafeast.com/holydesires-3secrets?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=HD%20Podcast%20Links] Learn the 2 most common reasons wives don't enjoy sex, and what to do about it! >>> Get it here: https://canafeast.com/holydesires-3secrets [https://canafeast.com/holydesires-3secrets?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=HD%20Podcast%20Links]

Before the Bedroom: How the Quality of Your Marriage Affects Physical Intimacy

82% of the men in my current Holy Desires class are dealing with some kind of difference in desire with their wives. If you are in that 82%, brother, you are in good company. I want you to know that there is real hope here. In this conversation, I'll share the four lenses I use to understand what's actually going on underneath low or mismatched desire: 1) the quality of your relationship, 2) wounds from the past, 3) physical and mental stress, and 4) satisfaction with sex itself. Then we’ll dive into that first category. It’s the one that is easy to overlook for many of us! I'll share why you need to prioritize your marriage and what that looks like, practically speaking. You’ll hear a jolt of inspiration, too, with a reminder of how your marriage is your pathway to heaven. Grab a cup of coffee and let's talk about it. ____________ 🔥 Download my FREE guide for Catholic Husbands: 3 Secrets to Becoming the Lover of Her Dreams [https://canafeast.com/holydesires-3secrets?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=HD%20Podcast%20Links] Learn the 2 most common reasons wives don't enjoy sex, and what to do about it! >>> Get it here: https://canafeast.com/holydesires-3secrets [https://canafeast.com/holydesires-3secrets?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=HD%20Podcast%20Links]

Your Marriage Is a Garden, Not a Car

Confession time. For years, my first instinct when something felt off in my marriage was to fix it. Diagnose the problem, apply a solution, move on. Turns out I was using the wrong mental model. Most of us have inherited a mechanical way of thinking about marriage. Your marriage needs fuel. It needs a tune-up. If something is wrong, find the broken part (or the broken person) and fix it. Although well intentioned, this metaphor can quietly reinforce unhelpful assumptions and unrealistic expectations. In this discussion, I'll share why the mechanical metaphor falls apart under real-world pressure, why a garden is a much more accurate picture of what God designed marriage to be, and what it looks like to cultivate your marriage even when it has been in a long season of drought (spoiler: there are no shortcuts, and that is actually good news). Grab a cup of coffee and let's talk about it. ____________ 🔥 Download my FREE guide for Catholic Husbands: 3 Secrets to Becoming the Lover of Her Dreams [https://canafeast.com/holydesires-3secrets?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=HD%20Podcast%20Links] Learn the 2 most common reasons wives don't enjoy sex, and what to do about it! >>> Get it here: https://canafeast.com/holydesires-3secrets [https://canafeast.com/holydesires-3secrets?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=HD%20Podcast%20Links]