In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered

How Fostering Changed a Teacher’s Life and Created a Forever Family

In this episode of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered, Kristen, a single public school teacher from North Carolina, shares her journey into foster care and adoption. After facing fertility challenges and separation, her experience with foster children in her classroom inspired her to become a foster parent. She recounts accepting placement of a five-year-old boy, taking him on a beach trip just days later, and navigating early behavioral challenges. With a strong support system of family, colleagues, and professionals, Kristen witnessed remarkable growth in her son. Early last year, she finalized his adoption, calling it the greatest joy of her life.  On experiencing "firsts" as a foster parent: “I still think that there's a lot of other firsts that they can experience with older children. Maybe they don't get those early experiences losing their first tooth or, you know, walking or things like that. But definitely with older children, there's the first day of this grade level or trying a new sport, getting to do or go places that they've never had the opportunity to do or go. Even trying a food for the first time.” —Kristen  What You Will Learn:  * Kristen's journey into foster care and adoption  * Initial plans and challenges related to motherhood and fertility treatments  * The impact of her teaching experience on her decision to foster  * The process of accepting her first placement, a five-year-old boy  * Early experiences and adjustments after the placement  * Emotional and behavioral challenges faced by the child and Kristen  * The importance of a support system for foster parents  * Growth and development of the child over two years  * Maintaining connections with the child's birth family  * Misconceptions about fostering and encouragement for potential foster parents  Timestamps:  00:00 – Intro 00:27 – Meet Kristen 01:29 – Initial Plans and Decision to Foster 02:58 – Getting Licensed and First Placement Call 03:17 – Preparing for a Five-Year-Old and Beach Trip 05:01 – First Days and Building Connection 06:13 – Experiencing Firsts with Older Children 07:23 – First Few Weeks: Highs and Lows 08:26 – Support System and Asking for Help 09:52 – Balancing Single Parenting and Teaching 11:02 – Growth and Development Over Two Years 12:43 – Trauma, Triggers, and Progress 14:15 – Bonding and Parent-Child Relationship 15:26 – Maintaining Birth Family Connections 16:47 – Talking About Birth Family with Her Son 18:03 – Openness and Life Book 19:28 – Maintaining Birth Family Connections 20:42 – Emotional Challenges and Support from Specialists 21:41 – Attachment and Letting Go 23:33 – Misconceptions About Fostering and Adopting 24:21 – Advice for Prospective Foster Parents 25:12 – What It Means to Be His Mom 26:08 – Personal Growth and Gains from Fostering 27:34 – Final Advice and Encouragement 29:07 – Episode Closing Episode Resources:  * Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/ [https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/]  * For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org [https://www.chsnc.org/]  * To be a guest on the podcast, email: inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org [inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org]  * To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/ [https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/]  * Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:   * Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina   * Instagram: @chs_nc  * LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc  * YouTube: @chsnc

Love Without Limits: Redefining Family Through Foster Care and Shared Parenting

In this episode of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered, Amanda, a program supervisor at Children's Home Society of North Carolina and experienced foster and adoptive parent, shares her personal and professional journey in foster care. She discusses the growing shortage of foster families, increased needs of children post-COVID-19, and the importance of shared parenting—collaborating with birth families to support children in care. Amanda challenges common misconceptions about foster children, shares inspiring success stories, and encourages those considering fostering to take the step, emphasizing that while challenging, the experience is deeply rewarding and life-changing for everyone involved.  On shared parenting: “Ideally what we want is someone who's open to that (shared parenting), even if the end goal is adoption, because there will always be children who need to be adopted. But what if you'reable to help a number of families before a child that doesn't have other options for permanency comes along, and you've grown your family by that many additional families? What a blessing that is.” —Amanda    What You Will Learn:  * Personal and professional journey in foster care and adoption  * Challenges and rewards of fostering children  * Current needs in the foster care system, particularly post-COVID-19  * Shortage of foster families and barriers to fostering  * Importance of shared parenting and collaboration with birth parents  * Characteristics of effective foster parents  * Emotional challenges of fostering and the impact of saying goodbye  * Success stories of children overcoming trauma in loving homes  * The significance of love and relationships in fostering  * Myths and stereotypes about children in foster care and how to challenge them    Timestamps:  00:00 – Introduction to the Podcast 00:36 – Amanda’s Background & Journey 01:58 – Current Role & Family Experience 02:46 – Pressing Needs in Foster Care 04:32 – Changes in Foster Care Needs Post-COVID 06:45 – What Makes a Good Foster Parent 10:13 – Shared Parenting & Success Stories 14:00 – Maintaining Connections After Reunification 15:41 – Coping with Saying Goodbye 17:43 – Foster Care Statistics & Call-to-Action 18:03 – Transition From Foster Care to Adoption 21:49 – Myths & Stereotypes About Children in Foster Care 25:32 – Success Stories: Overcoming Trauma 29:06 – Best Things About Fostering & Adoption 31:01 – What Amanda Wishes She Knew Before Fostering 33:17 – Greatest Wish for Foster Care System 35:17 – Final Thoughts & Encouragement  35:58 – Personal Reflections on Adopted Children 39:05 – Episode Closing Episode Resources:  * Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/ [https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/]  * For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org [https://www.chsnc.org/]  * To be a guest on the podcast, email: inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org [inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org]  * To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/ [https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/]  * Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:   * Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina   * Instagram: @chs_nc  * LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc  * YouTube: @chsnc

Fostering Teens: The Unexpected Adventure of Love, Laughter, and Life Skills

In this episode of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered, foster parent Mandie shares her family’s journey fostering teenagers. She discusses the challenges and rewards of building trust, supporting teens’ emotional needs, and preparing them for independence. Mandie highlights the importance of patience, compassion, and community support, while addressing misconceptions about fostering older children. Through personal stories, she emphasizes that attachment and love are essential, and encourages others to consider fostering, reminding listeners that every child deserves a safe, loving home. The episode offers honest insights and practical advice for current and prospective foster families.  “You want to be that safe place for them. You want them to feel that love and security that they really need.”  —Mandie    What You Will Learn:  * Experiences and challenges of fostering children, particularly teenagers.  * The journey of a foster family since 2017, including the transition from fostering younger children to teens.  * The importance of building trust and connection with foster teens.  * Common misconceptions about fostering teenagers and addressing fears related to behavioral issues.  * Teaching essential life skills to foster teens in preparation for independence.  * Emotional challenges and breakthroughs in the foster care experience.  * The significance of celebrating milestones and achievements in a foster child's life.  * The impact of limited contact with biological parents on foster children.  * The role of community support and therapy for foster parents.  * Reflections on the transformative nature of fostering and the importance of love and attachment in caregiving.    Timestamps:  00:00 – Introduction 00:27 – Meet Mandie & Family Background 01:59 – Fostering Teens: Why and How 04:19 – Building Rapport with Teens 07:31 – Breakthrough Moments & Emotional Growth 10:33 – Deciding to Foster Older Children 12:38 – Debunking Misconceptions about Fostering Teens 17:34 – Teaching Life Skills & Overcoming Embarrassment 18:59 – Celebrating Progress & Bonding Moments 21:16 – Shared Parenting & Reunification 22:35 – Supporting Emotional Needs & Safe Spaces 25:33 – Learning & Growing as Foster Parents 30:03 – Why Continue Fostering? 33:52 – Advice for Prospective Foster Parents 35:20 – The Importance of Support Systems 36:33 – Redefining Motherhood & Final Reflections 38:02 – Episode Closing Episode Resources:  * Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/ [https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/]  * For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org [https://www.chsnc.org/]  * To be a guest on the podcast, email: inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org [inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org]  * To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/ [https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/]  * Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:   * Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina   * Instagram: @chs_nc  * LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc  * YouTube: @chsnc

The Greatest Resilience: Siblings Navigating Foster Care Together

In this episode of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered, siblings Mikaila and Mat share their personal journey through the foster care system. Mikaila recounts her experiences with kinship care, abuse, and resilience, while Mat offers insight as her older brother and military serviceman. Together, they discuss the challenges of sibling separation, generational trauma, and the importance of supportive relationships. The conversation highlights the power of self-love, breaking cycles, and community support, while challenging stereotypes about foster youth. The hosts close with a call to action for fostering in North Carolina.  “I want to be a dad just so I can prove that I can be a better dad than I had, so that I can prove to myself that I guess I'm not broken. And where I came from doesn't really define where I have to go.” – Mat   What You Will Learn:  * Personal stories and experiences of siblings in the foster care system.  * The impact of family dynamics and parental absence on children in foster care.  * Challenges faced by foster youth, including abuse, neglect, and instability.  * The role of kinship care and its potential downsides.  * The importance of sibling relationships and maintaining connections in foster care.  * Resilience and personal growth stemming from difficult childhood experiences.  * The significance of supportive relationships and mentorship in overcoming trauma.  * Misconceptions about foster children and the need for understanding their backgrounds.  * The role of community and support networks in aiding foster families.  * Encouragement for listeners to consider becoming foster parents and supporting foster youth.   Timestamps: * Podcast Introduction (00:00:00) * Guest Introductions (00:00:27) * Mat’s Military Enlistment and Family Background (00:01:28) * Family Breakdown and Mat’s Absence (00:04:16) * Mikaila’s Experience in Kinship Care (00:06:40) * Sibling Bond and Separation Trauma (00:10:04) * Mat’s Caretaking Role and Family Dynamics (00:12:38) * Communication Barriers and Mat’s Efforts to Reconnect (00:14:58) * Reconnecting After Foster Care Placement (00:18:10) * Mikaila’s Decision to Stay in Foster Care (00:19:43) * Resilience and Its Origins (00:23:01) * Lessons Learned and Advice (00:28:32) * Reflections on Foster Care Stereotypes (00:32:49) * Breaking Generational Cycles (00:36:35) * Encouragement for Foster Parents and Closing Thoughts (00:39:39) * Podcast Outro and Call to Action (00:41:27) Episode Resources:  * Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/ [https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/]  * For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org [https://www.chsnc.org/]  * To be a guest on the podcast, email: inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org [inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org]  * To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/ [https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/]  * Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:   * Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina   * Instagram: @chs_nc  * LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc  * YouTube: @chsnc

Building a Diverse Family: The Realities of Transracial Adoption and Fostering

In this episode of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered, guest Kate, a former juvenile court attorney, shares her journey as a foster and adoptive mother of six. She discusses the challenges and rewards of transracial adoption, the importance of openness and communication, and the realities of parenting children with trauma. Kate also highlights the value of support networks and introduces her children’s books designed to help foster kids understand their experiences. Her candid insights offer guidance and encouragement to current and prospective foster families.  “We feel very strongly that if you're going to adopt transracial, you need to make sure you live in a diverse community. That your religious home is diverse, that your friends are diverse.” — Kate  What You Will Learn:  * Personal and professional journey into foster care and adoption  * Family dynamics involving biological, adopted, and foster children  * Experiences with transracial adoption and its challenges  * Importance of openness in adoption and maintaining connections with birth families  * Navigating identity and relationships within a transracial family  * The impact of trauma on children and parenting strategies  * The significance of sibling relationships and support in blended families  * Resources created to assist children in foster care with understanding their experiences  * Emotional complexities of fostering, including the bittersweet nature of reunification  * The necessity of community and support systems for foster parents  Timestamps:  * Podcast Introduction (00:00:00)  * Meet Kate: Professional Background & Family Overview (00:00:27)  * Adoption and Early Parenting Experiences (00:01:20)  * Transition to Fostering (00:02:22)  * Parenting as an Older Parent: Pros and Cons (00:03:36)   * Surprises in Parenting, Adoption, and Bonding (00:05:22)  * Sibling Dynamics and Family Evolution (00:07:35)  * Transracial Adoption: Family Makeup & Community (00:10:01)  * Parenting Transracially: Community, Racism, and Support (00:11:02)  * Handling Public Comments and Teaching Kids to Respond (00:16:14)  * Children’s Perspectives on Adoption and Openness (00:20:01)  * Open Adoption and Maintaining Birth Family Relationships (00:22:04)   * Navigating Emotions in Open Adoption (00:23:24)  * Family Communication and Openness (00:26:05)  * Fostering Sibling Bonds and Family Unity (00:27:21)  * Managing Trauma and Parenting Foster Children (00:30:46)  * Apologizing and Repair in Parenting (00:34:04)  * Kate’s Children’s Books [https://katethlava.com/] for Foster and Adopted Kids (00:36:15)  * Advice for Prospective Foster Parents (00:40:27)  * Episode Wrap-Up and Resources (00:42:27)  Learn more about Kate’s Children’s Books for Foster and Adopted Kids through her website [https://katethlava.com/]. Episode Resources:  * Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/ [https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/]  * For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org [https://www.chsnc.org/]  * To be a guest on the podcast, email: inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org [inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org]  * To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/ [https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/]  * Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:   * Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina   * Instagram: @chs_nc  * LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc  * YouTube: @chsnc