My Last Relapse: Addiction Recovery & Sobriety Stories

Judge Juli Mathew: How the Juvenile Mental Health Court She Built Hit an 85% Success Rate

When Judge Juli Mathew took the bench at Fort Bend County Court at Law No. 3 in 2018, she made history twice over — first Indian American woman elected to a bench in the United States, and first Asian American judge in one of the most diverse counties in Texas. Three years later she built something that didn't exist in the state yet: a juvenile court designed around mental health. Born in Kerala, India and raised in Philadelphia after her family immigrated when she was ten, Mathew attended Penn State, earned her JD at Delaware Law School, and spent fifteen years practicing civil litigation in Texas before deciding the bench in her county didn't reflect the people in it. She ran in 2018 with a six-month-old, a year-and-a-half-old, and a twelve-year-old at home, and won the seat outright. Her court handles nearly every kind of case Texas allows: criminal misdemeanors, juvenile cases, civil litigation up to $325,000, probate, guardianships, eminent domain, mental health commitments. The specialty court she created — JIMHS, the Juvenile Intervention and Mental Health Court, named for her husband Jim — pairs the judge, defense, prosecution, juvenile probation, and Texana's mental health team around a single kid who landed in the system with mental health challenges. About half of those kids have a substance abuse issue running underneath the diagnosis. The program reports an 85 percent success rate. On the adult side, Mathew oversees involuntary mental health commitments of 30, 45, 60, or 90 days, hears testimony before authorizing forced medication inside the jail, and takes the bench knowing that Texas's state-run mental health beds carry a wait of six months to a year. She talks with Matt about the cases that stay with her: the seventeen-year-old she had to certify into TDC after assaults, robberies, and pistol-whipping elderly residents during apartment burglaries; the young widow with newborn triplets probating her husband's estate after fentanyl killed him at a party. The conversation moves through the misdiagnosis trap inside addiction treatment, the brain-development cost of starting drugs young, the destruction of the family unit, and what it took for an immigrant kid from Kerala to run a campaign in a red county with three young children at home. Mathew is Syrian Orthodox — her ancestors were among the four families that converted in the year 52, after the apostle Thomas was shipwrecked off the coast of India — and faith runs through how she carries the work. She is currently seeking a third term on the bench. JUDGE JULI A. MATHEW is the Presiding Judge of Fort Bend County Court at Law No. 3 in Texas, where she made history in 2018 as the first Indian American woman elected to the bench in the United States and the first Asian American judge elected countywide in Fort Bend. A proud immigrant from Kerala, India and a Syrian Orthodox Christian, she founded the Juvenile Intervention and Mental Health Court (JIMHS) — the first specialty court of its kind in Texas — and serves as an Adjunct Professor at the University of Houston Law Center teaching Professional Strategic Writing. Follow Juli on Instagram @judgejulimathew [https://www.instagram.com/judgejulimathew/] Learn more about Judge Juli at judgejuli.com [https://judgejuli.com/] Connect with Juli on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/juli-mathew-a565b45/] Matt Handy is the founder of Harmony Grove Behavioral Health in Houston, Texas, where their mission is to provide compassionate, evidence-based care for anyone facing addiction, mental health challenges, and co-occurring disorders. My Last Relapse explores what everyone is thinking but no one is saying about addiction and recovery through conversations with those whose lives have changed. For anyone disillusioned with traditional recovery and feeling left out, misunderstood, or weighed down by unrealistic expectations, this podcast looks ahead—rejecting the lies and dogma that keep people from imagining life without using. Got a question for us? Leave us a message or voicemail at mylastrelapse.com [https://mylastrelapse.com/] Follow Matt on Instagram @matthew.handy.17 [https://www.instagram.com/matthew.handy.17/] About Harmony Grove Behavioral HealthHarmony Grove delivers outpatient addiction and mental health treatment focused on wellness, creativity, and authentic human connection—providing a supportive space for healing that extends beyond traditional clinical care. Find out more at http://harmonygrovebh.com/ [http://harmonygrovebh.com/] Harmony Grove's IOP in Houston, Texas, is more than a program; it's a lifeline for those ready to take the next step in their recovery. We are ready to meet you where you are and find your unique path to change. If you're feeling overwhelmed or struggling, you don't have to face it alone. Reaching out for support is a sign of strength, and help is always available. If you or anyone you know needs help, give us a call 24 hours a day at 844-430-3060. Host: Matthew Handy Producer: Eva Sheie Assistant Producer: Mary Ellen Clarkson Engineering: Chris Mann Theme music: Survive The Tide, Machina Aeon Cover Art: DMARK My Last Relapse is a production of Kind Creative: kindcreative.com [https://kindcreative.com]

Life After Dying 4x, Getting Fired While on a Ventilator, & Still Being Suicidal at 18 Yrs Sober

Frank Parisi flatlined during heart surgery on May 8, 2023. He came back. Twenty-six days later he received the transplant that gave him a second chance — a heart from a nineteen-year-old donor. He'd grown up in Little Italy, the son of a father tied to organized crime, and spent a decade hooked on opiates before getting sober in 2011. By 2023 he was thirteen years clean, in the gym every day, and doing national marketing for a treatment company.  Four doctors missed what was killing him before someone finally caught the rare pneumonia and sepsis that had moved into his chest. He kept working from the hospital — setting up West Coast Symposium meetings while intubated, dying and coming back four separate times before the new heart arrived. Then, while he was still on the breathing machine, the company he'd given five years to let him go. The decade-long friends he'd brought into his life started showing up at parties thrown by the people who did it. Jason Turner's wake-up call came differently. He got sober in 2003, worked at a private boarding school taking kids to Africa and Peru, then moved to Prescott, Arizona, and woke up one day asking where the industry he thought he'd entered had gone.  A three-hundred-pound powerlifter, he walked into a CrossFit gym thinking he'd dominate and got humbled — until an older stranger pulled up next to him mid-run and said, "I got you." He almost cried. Eighteen years into sobriety, he still came close to taking his own life. Abstinence wasn't wellness, and he knew it. Both men talk with Matt about the conversation Frank had with God on the ventilator, what it means to come back from the dead with a teenager's heart beating in your chest, and why eighteen years of being sober wasn't enough to keep Jason from the edge. FRANK PARISI is an international bestselling author, keynote speaker, and heart transplant survivor who lives in Austin with his wife Kat and their son Sonny. He published Embrace Abundance in August 2024 on the one-year anniversary of his transplant. He is a managing partner and brand ambassador at Emotion Wellness in San Antonio. Follow Frank on Instagram @frankparisi2011 [https://www.instagram.com/frankparisi2011/] Order Embrace Abundance at frank-parisi.com [https://frank-parisi.com/] JASON TURNER is the founder and CEO of Emotion Wellness, an aftercare program in San Antonio built around the idea that the nervous system has to come first. He served ten years in the Air Force, where he trained bomb-sniffing dogs, and is a Pat Tillman Scholar. He has been sober since 2003. Follow Jason on Instagram @e_motionguy [https://www.instagram.com/e_motionguy/] Learn more about Emotion Wellness at emotionwellness.com [https://emotionwellness.com/] Matt Handy is the founder of Harmony Grove Behavioral Health in Houston, Texas, where their mission is to provide compassionate, evidence-based care for anyone facing addiction, mental health challenges, and co-occurring disorders. My Last Relapse explores what everyone is thinking but no one is saying about addiction and recovery through conversations with those whose lives have changed. For anyone disillusioned with traditional recovery and feeling left out, misunderstood, or weighed down by unrealistic expectations, this podcast looks ahead—rejecting the lies and dogma that keep people from imagining life without using. Got a question for us? Leave us a message or voicemail at mylastrelapse.com [https://mylastrelapse.com/] Follow Matt on Instagram @matthew.handy.17 [https://www.instagram.com/matthew.handy.17/] About Harmony Grove Behavioral Health Harmony Grove delivers outpatient addiction and mental health treatment focused on wellness, creativity, and authentic human connection—providing a supportive space for healing that extends beyond traditional clinical care. Find out more at http://harmonygrovebh.com/ [http://harmonygrovebh.com/] Harmony Grove's IOP in Houston, Texas, is more than a program; it's a lifeline for those ready to take the next step in their recovery. We are ready to meet you where you are and find your unique path to change. If you're feeling overwhelmed or struggling, you don't have to face it alone. Reaching out for support is a sign of strength, and help is always available. If you or anyone you know needs help, give us a call 24 hours a day at 844-430-3060. Host: Matthew Handy Producer: Eva Sheie Assistant Producers: Mary Ellen Clarkson Engineering: Chris Mann Theme music: Survive The Tide, Machina Aeon Cover Art: DMARK My Last Relapse is a production of Kind Creative: kindcreative.com

Life After Dating Alley Cats, Marrying & Divorcing a Cheater, and 14 Years Married to an Autistic Cop

Lori Bell was conceived when her father got drunk at a traveling circus, wrestled an anteater, got fired, and was dropped off in the next city — Kansas City, where he wandered into the unemployment office where her mother worked.   Her dad was a third-generation Italian Vietnam veteran with PTSD and an eighth-grade education, and her mother was a Midwest farm girl with abandonment issues. Lori grew up in the chaos that followed — kicked-in walls, constant fighting, and a father who eventually disappeared back to California and landed in Folsom Prison. Her mother worked two jobs. Lori essentially raised herself. By high school she was already on the path her father had walked, getting expelled for keeping orange juice and whiskey in her locker. She joined Civil Air Patrol, then enlisted in the Air Force at seventeen to escape her mother. Stationed in Guam, she did airfield management — including running wild boars off the runway so planes could land — and started getting blackout drunk. She had her son at nineteen and came back to Kansas City to raise him alone. She poured herself into work: twenty years in banking and four degrees, capped by an MBA in finance and a master's in social work. Her second marriage, fourteen years to a police officer, ended when she realized he had been masking the entire time they dated and was actually autistic. What pulled her out wasn't a treatment program. It was her father dying of COPD — and the hospice nurse who told her to start planning the funeral while he was still sitting up talking. He was gone within days. Lori spent the next year and a half just sitting, pulling apart every thought as it came: was that her mother, her father, her ex, or her? So she went back to school again. Today she runs Renaissance Mental Health, her private practice in Houston, where she works with adolescents and adults healing from childhood trauma, abuse, addiction, and the kind of relational damage you don't notice until you're forty and exhausted. She'll tell you she's not in recovery from substances — she's in recovery from relationships. LORI BELL is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Clinical Trauma Professional, and Certified Addiction-Informed Mental Health Professional with an MBA in finance and a twenty-year career in banking before she became a therapist. She founded Renaissance Mental Health in Houston, where she works with adolescents and adults healing from trauma, abuse, addiction, grief, and relational damage — including survivors of abusive relationships, veterans, and first responders.  She uses an eclectic, evidence-based approach including EMDR, the Flash Technique, CBT, DBT, mindfulness, and parts and memory work, and serves clients in Texas and Kansas. Learn more about Renaissance Mental Health [https://renaissancementalhealth.com/] Connect with Lori on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/lori-bell] Matt Handy is the founder of Harmony Grove Behavioral Health in Houston, Texas, where their mission is to provide compassionate, evidence-based care for anyone facing addiction, mental health challenges, and co-occurring disorders. My Last Relapse explores what everyone is thinking but no one is saying about addiction and recovery through conversations with those whose lives have changed. For anyone disillusioned with traditional recovery and feeling left out, misunderstood, or weighed down by unrealistic expectations, this podcast looks ahead—rejecting the lies and dogma that keep people from imagining life without using. Got a question for us? Leave us a message or voicemail at mylastrelapse.com [https://www.mylastrelapse.com/] Follow Matt on Instagram @matthew.handy.17 [https://www.instagram.com/matthew.handy.17/] About Harmony Grove Behavioral Health Harmony Grove delivers outpatient addiction and mental health treatment focused on wellness, creativity, and authentic human connection—providing a supportive space for healing that extends beyond traditional clinical care. Find out more at http://harmonygrovebh.com/ [http://harmonygrovebh.com/] Harmony Grove's IOP in Houston, Texas, is more than a program; it's a lifeline for those ready to take the next step in their recovery. We are ready to meet you where you are and find your unique path to change. If you're feeling overwhelmed or struggling, you don't have to face it alone. Reaching out for support is a sign of strength, and help is always available. If you or anyone you know needs help, give us a call 24 hours a day at 844-430-3060. Host: Matthew Handy Producer: Eva Sheie Assistant Producers: Mary Ellen Clarkson Engineering: Chris Mann Theme music: Survive The Tide, Machina Aeon Cover Art: DMARK

Life After Getting Caught With 5 Kilos of cocaine & 6 Felony Arrests in 2 Years

David’s trouble started when the DEA caught him with five kilos of cocaine at the age of 20. On probation, he moved to St. Louis with court approval, finished college in three years, and was released early from probation. He built a subprime real estate business, but crooked deals and market shifts caused it to collapse. Back in Houston, he returned to high-end real estate and relapsed into heavy drinking and cocaine use. When his father died in 2005, his decline accelerated. Over the next few years, he faced multiple arrests, probation violations, and three prison terms, eventually facing 33 years. He lived out of a Honda Civic and was down to 117 pounds before entering treatment in 2017 at age 45. Early recovery focused on meetings, honesty, and structure. He got a car-wash job, rebuilt family trust, resolved IRS issues, and eventually had his criminal record expunged. He also became public about his recovery and stayed involved in service and alumni work. David joined Promises Behavioral Health, moving from tech and alumni roles into compliance and eventually Executive Director of Brazos Valley. Today, he leads a largely in-recovery team, is engaged, and remains active in the recovery community. GUEST David Ludlow David Ludlow is the executive director of Promises Brazos Valley, where he leads outcomes‑driven, skills‑based addiction treatment with a patient‑first approach. After decades of alcoholism and cocaine use culminating in six felony arrests and three prison terms, he entered treatment in 2017 at age 45 and rebuilt his life through structure, honesty, and community.  Learn more about Promises Brazos Valley [https://brazosvalleyrehab.com/] Connect with David Ludlow on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-ludlow-480358162] Questions this episode answers: How does someone go from 5 kilos of cocaine and 40+ arrests to running a treatment center? What does it feel like to want to die but not have the courage to actually end it? What finally broke through the wall of denial after decades of addiction? What happens when an addict goes to treatment at 45 — is it too late? How do you rebuild your life and career when you have a criminal record and no credentials? What does true rock bottom actually look like — and why do addicts keep finding a lower one? Why do treatment centers keep recycling the same clients instead of actually healing them? What is wrong with clinical programming when patients are leading their own therapy groups? How does a compliance background make someone a better executive director of a treatment center? Why are first responders and veterans so dangerously underserved by the addiction treatment system? How many people are being turned away from treatment every day — and what happens to them?Why does getting sober later in life sometimes produce better outcomes than getting sober young?What does real peace in recovery look like after a lifetime of chaos and hustle? Matt Handy is the founder of Harmony Grove Behavioral Health in Houston, Texas, where their mission is to provide compassionate, evidence-based care for anyone facing addiction, mental health challenges, and co-occurring disorders. My Last Relapse explores what everyone is thinking but no one is saying about addiction and recovery through conversations with those whose lives have changed. For anyone disillusioned with traditional recovery and feeling left out, misunderstood, or weighed down by unrealistic expectations, this podcast looks ahead—rejecting the lies and dogma that keep people from imagining life without using. Got a question for us? Leave us a message or voicemail at mylastrelapse.com [http://mylastrelapse.com] Follow Matt on Instagram @matthew.handy.17 [https://www.instagram.com/matthew.handy.17/] About Harmony Grove Behavioral Health Harmony Grove delivers outpatient addiction and mental health treatment focused on wellness, creativity, and authentic human connection—providing a supportive space for healing that extends beyond traditional clinical care. Find out more at http://harmonygrovebh.com/ [http://harmonygrovebh.com/] Harmony Grove’s IOP in Houston, Texas, [https://www.harmonygrovebh.com/intensive-outpatient-program/] is more than a program; it’s a lifeline for those ready to take the next step in their recovery. We are ready to meet you where you are and find your unique path to change. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or struggling, you don’t have to face it alone. Reaching out for support is a sign of strength, and help is always available. If you or anyone you know needs help, give us a call 24 hours a day at 844-430-3060. Host: Matthew Handy Producer: Eva Sheie Assistant Producers: Mary Ellen Clarkson & Hannah Burkhart Engineering: Chris Mann Theme music: Survive The Tide, Machina Aeon [https://www.youtube.com/@MachinaAeonAI] Cover Art:  DMARK [https://www.instagram.com/dmarkgraffiti/?hl=en] My Last Relapse is a production of Kind Creative: kindcreative.com [http://kindcreative.com]

Life After Getting Shot, Stabbed, Detoxing Off K2 & The Choice I Made To Avoid 99 Yrs in Prison

Born in Kansas to Mexican parents, Omar was sent as a baby to live with his grandparents in Mexico. He returned to Kansas around age five where he learned English, was bullied and sexually abused, then drifted into gangs and substance use in his early teens.  He became homeless but still finished high school, briefly attended college, and then dropped out as his addiction to pills, K2, cocaine, and eventually meth took over his life.  This drug use strained and broke his relationship with his partner and he lost his kids, followed by homelessness, horrifying sexual violence, criminal charges, and multiple suicide attempts. After an arrest in 2019, he quit meth and other hard drugs, had significant faith experiences in jail, and was released early during COVID, which allowed him to reconnect with recovery through meetings, sober living, and church, where he was baptized and began helping keep men’s meetings going.  After several years of sobriety from meth/K2, he relapsed on alcohol and THC products, prompting renewed CPS involvement and his removal from the home.  Omar re‑engaged with 12‑step recovery, worked the steps in depth, made amends, began sponsoring others, and eventually became a house manager in a faith‑based sober‑living program, supporting men in early recovery. GUEST OMAR CHAVARRIA-DURON is the director of Mastermind Recovery, drawing on his lived experience with addiction, homelessness, and the criminal justice system to help others rebuild their lives. He now focuses on faith-based 12‑step recovery, sober housing, and mentoring men in early sobriety. Learn more about Mastermind Recovery [https://www.mastermindrecovery.org/]  Questions this episode answers: How does growing up between two countries without stability set a child up for addiction? How does feeling unloved by absent parents push kids toward gangs and drugs? What is K2 synthetic marijuana and why is it more dangerous than people think? How does meth grab hold differently than every other drug? What does withdrawal from K2 actually feel like — and can you detox at home? What finally makes an addict choose their family over their addiction? What does it take to truly surrender and commit to recovery after multiple relapses? What makes a sponsor genuinely effective — and what does a tough-love sponsor actually look like? Should AA sponsors work with people on Suboxone or MAT programs? How can someone with no degree and a criminal past build a real career in the recovery world? What does sober living do for a person that treatment alone never can? How do you do homeless outreach for people with addiction — and why does it matter? Where does fentanyl actually come from, and how did it flood the streets? Matt Handy is the founder of Harmony Grove Behavioral Health in Houston, Texas, where their mission is to provide compassionate, evidence-based care for anyone facing addiction, mental health challenges, and co-occurring disorders. My Last Relapse explores what everyone is thinking but no one is saying about addiction and recovery through conversations with those whose lives have changed. For anyone disillusioned with traditional recovery and feeling left out, misunderstood, or weighed down by unrealistic expectations, this podcast looks ahead—rejecting the lies and dogma that keep people from imagining life without using. Got a question for us? Leave us a message or voicemail at mylastrelapse.com [http://mylastrelapse.com] Follow Matt on Instagram @matthew.handy.17 [https://www.instagram.com/matthew.handy.17/] About Harmony Grove Behavioral Health Harmony Grove delivers outpatient addiction and mental health treatment focused on wellness, creativity, and authentic human connection—providing a supportive space for healing that extends beyond traditional clinical care. Find out more at http://harmonygrovebh.com/ [http://harmonygrovebh.com/] Harmony Grove’s IOP in Houston, Texas, [https://www.harmonygrovebh.com/intensive-outpatient-program/] is more than a program; it’s a lifeline for those ready to take the next step in their recovery. We are ready to meet you where you are and find your unique path to change. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or struggling, you don’t have to face it alone. Reaching out for support is a sign of strength, and help is always available. If you or anyone you know needs help, give us a call 24 hours a day at 844-430-3060. Host: Matthew Handy Producer: Eva Sheie Assistant Producers: Mary Ellen Clarkson & Hannah Burkhart Engineering: Chris Mann Theme music: Survive The Tide, Machina Aeon [https://www.youtube.com/@MachinaAeonAI] Cover Art:  DMARK [https://www.instagram.com/dmarkgraffiti/?hl=en]