Recovering Out Loud

Loving an Alcoholic: Both Sides of the Same Story From Addiction to Recovery

Some recovery stories are told from one side. This one isn't. Chloe lived the alcoholism. Andrew loved her through it — and watched both the addiction and the recovery up close. In this episode they sit down together and rebuild the same years from two different chairs: how they fell for each other fast, how the drinking took over, the hospital trips, the relapses, and the night it finally turned. Along the way they get into the stuff nobody warns you about — the "morning me vs. nighttime me" split that runs through active addiction, what it actually does to the person who loves you, why staying can sometimes prevent the rock bottom someone needs to hit, and the hardest truth either of them learned: when you step away from this disease for three months or thirty years, you come back exactly where you left off. If you love someone in active addiction, or you've been the one being loved while you were using, this is your conversation. Chapters 0:00 – "I already know how I'd relapse" 1:37 – Love at first sight 13:43 – Withdrawal & the first 911 call 22:09 – Morning Chloe vs. Nighttime Chloe 33:20 – Walking on eggshells: loving an addict 40:56 – The last day & a psychotic break 44:52 – "Losing things is what gets people better" 47:34 – Where they are today 🎧 Best place to start if you're new here. It's the full arc — using, loving, losing, and coming back — in one sitting. ▶️ Host recommendation: if this one lands, go to the solo episodes on euphoric recall and the emotional sobriety plateau next. If you're carrying this for someone you love, or for yourself: you're not the only one. Follow the show so the next episode finds you, and if it helped, leave a rating — it's the single biggest thing that gets these stories to the next person who needs them. Recovering Out Loud is peer-led and built on lived experience, not clinical advice.

Why Sobriety Stopped Feeling Like a Win: The Emotional Sobriety Plateau Nobody Warns You About

Nobody warns you that sobriety can stop feeling like a win. They warn you about the cravings, the first 30 days, the holidays. Nobody tells you about the Tuesday — a couple of years in — when the chips slow down, the applause stops, and being sober just becomes your life. And somewhere in that quiet, the old voice gets an opening. I know it because I lived it. I relapsed after seven and a half years sober — not on a bad day, but in the flat part, the stretch where recovery stopped feeling like an achievement and started feeling like nothing at all. This is a raw, lived-experience episode about the emotional sobriety plateau: why the "win" feeling was always going to fade (hello, hedonic adaptation), how "flat" gets mistranslated into "something's wrong," the difference between being dry and being emotionally sober, and what actually helped me build a life I don't want to escape from. If you've ever thought is this it? — this one's for you. 🎙 Recovering Out Loud — peer-led recovery media built on lived experience. Real stories. 📲 recoveringoutloud.ca · @recoveringoutloudpod Follow / subscribe so the next one finds you. This podcast shares one person's lived experience and is not medical or clinical advice.

The One Cause of Every Resentment, Every Lie, and Every Defect in Recovery | Borrowed Wisdom #1

This is the first in a new series — Borrowed Wisdom — where I share the greatest recovery speaker tapes that saved my life. Every resentment I've ever had came from fear, and a speaker named Bob broke that wide open for me. In this solo episode I pull the highlights from a speaker tape that's saved my ass more times than I can count, and I reflect on what each line means in my own recovery. We get into why we lie out of fear instead of malice, why the voice in your head projects the worst-case every time (and is almost always wrong), the difference between faith and trust — the wheelbarrow on the tightrope — and why every character defect comes with a "cookie" attached. We close on the paradox that the longer I stay sober, the more help I actually need. If you've ever stayed stuck in a resentment, talked yourself out of something before you even tried, or wondered why "letting go" feels impossible — this one's for you. If no one's told you today: I love you. Recovery is simple, not easy. ▶ Follow the show so you don't miss the next one. 📩 Want the full talks? DM me on Instagram @recoveringoutloudpod — I'll send them over. 0:00 Why these talks saved my life 2:08 Meet Bob: fear, faith, and "take what you like" 3:13 Every resentment is really fear 4:36 You're not a liar — you're afraid 7:40 Your brain projects the worst (thank God it's wrong) 9:21 Deathbed regret: the things you were afraid to try 10:26 Successful people are willing to look stupid 11:31 Everything you want is on the other side of fear 12:28 Faith vs. trust: get in the wheelbarrow 15:04 Why "not enough" is my greatest asset 16:10 Every defect has a cookie attached 18:08 Everything I let go of has claw marks on it 18:32 Amends enhance you — they don't diminish you 19:44 Turning my worst traits into assets 22:28 25 years sober and needing more help than ever 24:42 Run your best thinking past someone first 26:55 Recovery is simple, not easy

"Sorry" Stopped Working: How I Actually Made Amends in Recovery

I said "I'm sorry" so many times in my addiction that the word stopped meaning anything. All words, no action — guilt with a better vocabulary. In this solo episode I get into the difference between a verbal amends and a living amends: not the conversation, but the daily commitment to behave differently and become someone who doesn't repeat the harm. I talk about cleaning up my side of the street, moving from taker to giver, making amends to myself, and the trap of using "I'll just live differently" as an escape hatch to avoid the hard conversations. I also tell the story of running into my old drug dealer at the gym five years sober — and what I did next. This one's about rebuilding trust after addiction, forgiving yourself first, and why your family doesn't owe you forgiveness — but your actions, over time, speak louder than any apology. Recovery is simple, not easy. 🎧 New episodes twice a week. If this helped, follow the show — it genuinely helps it grow. 0:00 Guilt with a better vocabulary 0:34 What this episode is really about 1:11 "How do I pay my parents back?" 1:29 Welcome to Recovering Out Loud 2:12 What a living amends actually is 2:49 Verbal amends vs. living amends 3:19 Moving from taker to giver 4:02 My purpose is to be of service 4:19 When living amends is the right path 5:21 Amends is for you, not for them 5:46 The trap: amends as an escape hatch 6:32 Making amends to yourself 7:11 The long game — there's no finish line 7:47 What it feels like with family 8:28 You cannot heal anyone 9:18 Why your worst comes out at home 10:26 Nobody owes you forgiveness 11:16 Integrity when nobody's watching 12:03 The drug dealer at the gym 13:31 Don't put yourself in danger 13:46 If an amends pops into your head 15:06 Disturbed, discontent, disconnected 15:34 It's a process — progress not perfection 16:10 Don't use being high as an excuse 16:32 How to actually make the amends 17:22 Forgive yourself first 18:09 The nightly inventory 18:31 Outro

10 Thoughts From 10 Years of Addiction Recovery (My Morning Journal, Unfiltered)

10 unfiltered thoughts from my morning journal on staying sober, comparison, peace over happiness, and the war that's really with myself. At a year and a half sober again, I sat down with my morning journal and pulled out 10 thoughts that are keeping me in recovery right now — then talked them through, raw and unscripted. This one's about comparison and jealousy in the recovery and creator space ("why not me?"), getting through hard times one day at a time, building a morning routine when your old life had no structure, beating boredom by reconnecting with friends, and why I show up to meetings for what happens before and after the meeting. We get into believing in the sober version of yourself, chasing peace instead of happiness, the power of journaling, and the reframe that changed everything for me: moving from a war on drugs to a war on myself. If you're early in substance abuse recovery, navigating life after drug addiction, or just trying to stay sober through a rough patch — I hope one of these helps. Recovery is simple, not easy. Timestamps 00:00 — Morning Pages & why I journal 02:21 — #1 Competitors as hope, not jealousy 06:23 — #2 Staying sober through hard times 08:03 — #3 The morning routine 09:46 — #4 Boredom & reconnecting with friends 11:46 — #5 Meetings: the before & after 13:36 — #6 Believing in the sober you 15:13 — #7 Peace over happiness 16:32 — #8 Journaling 17:19 — #9 Everything isn't as it seems 21:35 — #10 War on drugs → war on me Mentioned • The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron — the Morning Pages practice • Past episode with Jessie (loss & staying sober through grief) • Past episode: Pleasure vs. Meaning • My recovery journal — https://linktr.ee/Recoveringoutloudpod [https://linktr.ee/Recoveringoutloudpod]