Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

Don't Play Along With Annoying Behavior

A parent describes her 5.5-year old as the love of her life. Lately, though, her daughter has been dissolving into silly, immature behavior at inappropriate moments, melting down over nonsensical things, and demanding her mother's attention.  "It goes on and on, and I get tired and annoyed." On the other hand, this parent says she feels guilty for not playing along with her daughter's spontaneous games (like joining her in a crab-walking race down the stairs). She worries that at 5.5 years old, her daughter should be moving beyond this type of behavior. "Will she ever stop testing me, or is she just going to keep on seeing how much I can withstand?" Janet has some ideas. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [http://www.NoBadKidsCourse.com] and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [http://www.JanetLansbury.com]. Her best-selling books ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/s?crid=3IY74QEP62F4T&k=no+bad+kids+toddler+discipline+without+shame&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_6_6&sprefix=no+bad%2Caps%2C241] and ⁠⁠⁠⁠"Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting"⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/s?crid=3IY74QEP62F4T&k=no+bad+kids+toddler+discipline+without+shame&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_6_6&sprefix=no+bad%2Caps%2C241] are available wherever books are sold. Please Support Our Sponsors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices [https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices]

The Kindness of Consequences

In this episode: Janet receives a follow-up message from the mom she helped last week in the episode "Demanding, Stressed, and Aggressive—What's Happened to My Gentle Child?" The parent candidly shares aspects of Janet's advice that did and didn't work. She then reveals a transformative discovery: "We were getting boundaries and discipline all wrong. We were not being confident leaders or using honest consequences." This mom shares how the situation finally clicked for her and she was able to achieve positive results just three days later. "... The change is already incredible. I can see our four-year-old's real smile, silly loving nature, happiness for the day in the morning, and so much less aggression." Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [http://www.NoBadKidsCourse.com] and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [http://www.JanetLansbury.com]. Her best-selling books ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/s?crid=3IY74QEP62F4T&k=no+bad+kids+toddler+discipline+without+shame&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_6_6&sprefix=no+bad%2Caps%2C241] and ⁠⁠⁠"Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting"⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/s?crid=3IY74QEP62F4T&k=no+bad+kids+toddler+discipline+without+shame&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_6_6&sprefix=no+bad%2Caps%2C241] are available wherever books are sold. Please Support Our Sponsors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices [https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices]

Demanding, Stressed, and Aggressive - What's Happened to My Gentle Child?

A stressed parent writes that her 4-year-old has been having a very difficult time for the past year. He's anxious, easily frustrated, "screams and stomps so loud it scares the baby," and is physically aggressive toward his older sister. Prior to this, she describes him as "such a gentle, thoughtful boy." She assumes some of his moods and behavior may be attributed to the arrival of the new baby, and she empathizes, but she wonders what to do.  Janet has several suggestions to both better understand what her son is going through, how to communicate with him, and steps she can take to alleviate her own worry and stress.   Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ [http://www.NoBadKidsCourse.com] and ⁠⁠⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ [http://www.JanetLansbury.com]. Her best-selling books ⁠⁠⁠⁠“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/s?crid=3IY74QEP62F4T&k=no+bad+kids+toddler+discipline+without+shame&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_6_6&sprefix=no+bad%2Caps%2C241] and ⁠⁠"Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting"⁠⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/s?crid=3IY74QEP62F4T&k=no+bad+kids+toddler+discipline+without+shame&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_6_6&sprefix=no+bad%2Caps%2C241] are available wherever books are sold. Please Support Our Sponsors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices [https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices]

Bedtime Battles ("Losing Myself in Motherhood")

A parent writes that the bedtime routine with her 5.5 year old daughter has become an all-consuming marathon, and she feels exhausted, frustrated, and disconnected. "I don't enjoy motherhood right now," she says, "and that's painful to admit because I love my daughter so much." She describes a typical evening that begins calmly enough with snacks, bathing, teeth, and a book, but inevitably her daughter sidetracks the process with demands to go pee, first-aid for a booboo, and sometimes declaring that she's scared. "She knows exactly which needs I'll respond to, and I end up stuck in the loop again."  Janet offers insight into this parent's dynamic with her daughter and why this 'loop' continues. She then makes some suggestions as to what her child might need in their relationship for this frustrating merry-go-round to finally stop.  Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠⁠ [http://www.NoBadKidsCourse.com] and ⁠⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠⁠ [http://www.JanetLansbury.com]. Her best-selling books ⁠⁠⁠“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/s?crid=3IY74QEP62F4T&k=no+bad+kids+toddler+discipline+without+shame&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_6_6&sprefix=no+bad%2Caps%2C241] and ⁠"Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting"⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/s?crid=3IY74QEP62F4T&k=no+bad+kids+toddler+discipline+without+shame&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_6_6&sprefix=no+bad%2Caps%2C241] are available wherever books are sold. Please Support Our Sponsors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices [https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices]

What to Say and Do During a Meltdown

At the heart of Janet's parenting approach is respectful, honest communication between us and our kids beginning in infancy—which means observing and listening to kids at least as much as we talk to them. It also means walking through our own fears to accept our child's most uncomfortable feelings and broach difficult conversations. In this episode, Janet shares a parent's story about their child's 45 minute(!) meltdown, and how the parent eventually discovered what had caused it. This parent also describes helping their toddler gracefully handle a medical procedure. In both instances, this parent's embrace of respectful communication was the key to their success. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠ [http://www.NoBadKidsCourse.com] and ⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠ [http://www.JanetLansbury.com]. Her best-selling books ⁠⁠“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”⁠⁠ [https://www.amazon.com/s?crid=3IY74QEP62F4T&k=no+bad+kids+toddler+discipline+without+shame&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_6_6&sprefix=no+bad%2Caps%2C241] and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" [https://www.amazon.com/s?crid=3IY74QEP62F4T&k=no+bad+kids+toddler+discipline+without+shame&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_6_6&sprefix=no+bad%2Caps%2C241] are available wherever books are sold. Please Support Our Sponsors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices [https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices]