Sex Talks Podcast

Love, Boundaries and Intimacy: What Healthy Love Really Looks Like A Conversation with Svenja Schumann

Nobody warned us that love comes with homework. But maybe it should have In this episode, our host Selma Ndasilohenda Iyambo sits down with Svenja Schumann, a psychological counsellor and Imago Relationship Coach in private practice, for a honest and grounding conversation. Before we can talk about what goes wrong in relationships, we need to understand what healthy love actually looks like, and most of us have never been taught. Svenja reminds us that healthy love is not about finding the perfect partner or being perfect yourself. It is about showing up every day, understanding the baggage you both bring to the relationship, and having the curiosity and willingness to do the work together. In this episode we unpack: * What healthy love looks like and why so many of us confuse it with endurance * Why boundaries are not walls, they are guidelines that keep both partners safe and connected * How to set a boundary simply and clearly, even when it feels uncomfortable * The three questions to ask yourself to know whether you are in a healthy relationship or whether it is time to seek help * Why ongoing consent still matters in long-term relationships * How to identify subtle red flags that your boundaries are being ignored or manipulated * What to do if you realise you have been shrinking yourself in a relationship and where to begin rebuilding Svenja puts it simply, you are in a healthy relationship when both people feel emotionally and physically safe. Safe enough to be truly yourself, to be honest, to be open, to repair, and to grow. And if that safety does not exist, that is already your answer and can be able to reach out to a psychological councilor or a trusted adult.  Whether you are navigating a new connection, deepening an existing relationship, or still figuring out what you actually want from love, his episode is for you. Because healthy love should feel safe, mutual, and respectful. Not confusing. Not painful. And you are not meant to lose yourself in the name of care. Protect your peace, honour your boundaries, and keep talking.

Episode 08: They’re Not Okay… and Neither Am I — How to Support a Friend Who’s Crashing Out - A conversation with Dr. Byron Böck

Sometimes the person who’s not okay is someone you deeply care about, and suddenly you’re the one trying to hold everything together without knowing how. In this episode our host Selma Ndasilohenda Iyambo is joined by Dr. Byron Böck, a medical doctor and public health professional, for an honest and practical conversation about what it really means to support a friend in an emotional crisis, especially when you are not in the best emotional space yourself. Through a real-life scenario, this episode explores how someone can appear calm while experiencing serious emotional distress, what steps to take when a friend is overwhelmed or disoriented, and how the principles of psychological first aid; look, listen, and link can guide you in those critical moments. Dr. Böck also speaks about the emotional impact on supporters, the importance of not carrying a crisis alone, and when it is necessary to involve family members, other trusted individuals, or professional and emergency services. This conversation is for the friends, the helpers, and the ones often called “the strong ones.” It is a reminder that showing up for someone you love is meaningful and powerful, but you are not a therapist, not a crisis team, and not meant to carry someone else’s pain on your own. Support should be shared, and you deserve care too.

Episode 07: “Do I Need Therapy? Knowing When and How to Seek Psychological Support - A conversation with Shasheeda Mberira

Mental health challenges don’t always show up as dramatic breakdowns. Sometimes, the signs are subtle, persistent anxiety, sadness that lingers, trouble concentrating, changes in sleep or appetite, overworking, or withdrawing from social connections. In this episode, Clinical Psychologist Shasheeda Mberira, a Chevening Scholar and expert in Clinical Psychology and Counselling, guides listeners through these quiet signals and helps them understand when it might be time to seek professional support. Shasheeda emphasises that therapy isn’t just for moments of crisis. It can be a proactive and compassionate act of self-care, providing a safe space to check in, process emotions, and prevent burnout. She explains how to differentiate between temporary stress and indicators that professional support may be needed, what to expect in a first therapy session, and how to approach therapy without fear or stigma. She also shares insight on accessible mental health resources in Namibia, highlighting that taking care of your emotional well-being is essential for everyone, not just those in crisis. Whether you are navigating stress, burnout, or simply want to be more mindful of your mental health, this episode provides practical guidance, reassurance, and a compassionate perspective.

Episode 06: Taking care of your mental health over the festive season - A Conversation with Dr. Suraia Schiceya

The festive season is often portrayed as a time of joy, family, and celebration, but for many young people, it can also bring stress, loneliness, grief, and emotional triggers.  In this final episode of 2025, our host Selma Ndasilohenda Iyambo sits down with Dr. Suraia Schiceya, Medical Doctor, Chief Wellness Officer, and Co-Founder of PatientCare, for an honest and deeply grounding conversation about navigating your mental health during this complex time of year. Dr. Suraia unpacks the realities people rarely talk about, dealing with toxic or strained family relationships, spending the holidays alone, managing grief after losing a loved one, and returning to environments that may carry painful memories of harm or abuse. She also offers practical and compassionate tools for setting boundaries, regulating emotions, asking for help, and supporting loved ones who may be struggling silently. From handling conflict during family gatherings (especially when alcohol is involved) to the pressure of holiday expectations and the stigma around mental health, this episode provides the guidance you may need as the year closes. Dr. Suraia also reminds us of a powerful truth: “Help is available and you should seek it if you feel you may need it.” Her message encourages openness, vulnerability, and reaching out to mental health professionals without fear or shame. Whether you’re celebrating, surviving, or simply trying to make it through the festive season, this conversation holds space for you.

Episode 05: Real Talk on HIV, dating, disclosure, meds, and everything you need to know about HIV

In this World AIDS Day commemoration episode, our host Selma Ndasilohenda Iyambo welcomes back public policy analyst Tuwilika Elias for an honest conversation about what it means to live positively with HIV today. Tuwilika draws from both her lived experience and professional expertise to unpack the emotional, physical, and social realities of navigating life with HIV as a young person. Selma and Tuwilika dive into the questions many are afraid to ask, from the comments and assumptions that cause harm and stigma, to how young people can safely and confidently disclose their HIV status. They explore what dating looks like when one or both partners are HIV positive, and break down common myths about HIV transmission, viral suppression, and when unprotected sex may be safe. The conversation also highlights the role of prevention tools like PrEP and PEP, as well as contraceptive options that protect against HIV and new prevention methods emerging today. The episode delves further into treatment realities, discussing how ARVs work, where young people in Namibia can access medication, the importance of taking medication consistently, and what to do if a dose or clinic appointment is missed. Tuwilika also addresses the dangerous myth of sharing HIV medication and explains why ARVs should never be shared under any circumstances. To close, Tuwilika offers tips for young people living with HIV who may be navigating fear, stigma, or uncertainty. She also shares guidance for friends and allies who want to support people living with HIV with compassion and respect. This conversation is a reminder that HIV does not define you, limit your future, or make you any less deserving of love and happiness. With knowledge, community, and care, living positively is possible.