Still Becoming with Katrina Oliver: Thoughts of a Therapist

Emotional Support Moms & The Beautiful Chaos of Motherhood

Motherhood has been the most beautiful thing I’ve ever experienced… and also one of the hardest. In this episode, I’m joined by one of my own “emotional support moms,” Ashley Brinkman, for an honest conversation about what motherhood can feel like when our nervous systems are stretched thin. We talk about overstimulation, overwhelm, mom guilt, the pressure to get it right, and those moments where we wonder if we’re the only ones struggling. Together we explore what’s actually happening in our bodies when motherhood feels like too much, how our nervous systems stay activated, and the small ways we try to care for ourselves and repair when we hit our limits. We also talk about perfectionism, identity shifts, letting go of old expectations, and how deeply we need other women as we move through motherhood. If you’ve ever felt touched out, overstimulated, disconnected, or simply exhausted by the beautiful chaos of motherhood, this conversation is for you. You are not alone in this. And you were never meant to do it alone.

Letting Go of Perfectionism: A Path to Growth and Self-Compassion

In this episode, we’re talking about perfectionism — not just as having high standards, but as a way many of us learned to stay safe, successful, accepted, and in control. This feels like a natural follow-up to the recent Worth Ethic episode as we continue exploring what happens when our worth becomes tied to performance, productivity, and getting everything “right.” I share both personal reflections and insights from my clinical work with high-achieving women as we unpack the difference between excellence and perfectionism, and why perfectionism often looks successful on the outside while quietly exhausting us underneath. We explore how perfectionism connects to the inner critic, anxiety, people-pleasing, and nervous system hypervigilance, along with the ways many of us learned early on to associate achievement with safety, approval, or connection. I also talk about the hidden cost of chronic overfunctioning, what motherhood and midlife have taught me about letting go of impossible standards, and why sustainable ambition requires more self-compassion and less self-pressure. To close, I offer a few reflective questions and small ways to begin noticing the perfectionistic part with more awareness and less shame — because healing perfectionism isn’t about becoming someone different, it’s about learning you were worthy long before you performed for it.

From Work Ethic to Worth Ethic

What happens when everything you worked for… doesn’t feel like you anymore? In this episode, I’m joined by business strategist and founder of Hive Ambition, Ashley Sterken, for a deeply honest conversation about what it means to be a high-achieving woman whose worth has been tied to productivity, performance, and being “good.” We talk about the early roots of overachievement, the quiet ways external validation shapes identity, and the moment many women face—often in motherhood or midlife—when something no longer fits. Ashley shares her experience of stepping into a C-suite role, navigating postpartum and anxiety, and beginning the long process of untangling her identity from her work. We explore the shift from work ethic to worth ethic—a concept inspired by musician Toni Jones—the difference between ambition driven by validation versus joy, and how to start asking: Who am I doing this for? We also talk about community, friendship, and why so many women are craving spaces where they don’t have to do it all alone. If you’ve ever found yourself successful on paper but questioning what it’s all for, this conversation will meet you there. You can find our guest on Instagram at ashley_sterken and at hiveambition.

The Truth About Boundaries

In this episode, we’re slowing down the conversation around boundaries and getting underneath the buzzword. I share my own journey with boundary setting—moving from people-pleasing and prioritizing others’ comfort to learning how to listen to my own internal yes and no. We talk about why boundaries can feel so uncomfortable, especially for high-functioning women, and how fear of disappointing others, conflict, or even being “too much” can keep us stuck. I also break down what boundaries actually are (and what they aren’t), including the difference between boundaries and walls, and why boundaries aren’t about controlling others but about communicating our needs and taking responsibility for how we show up. We explore the role of resentment as a signal, the importance of self-trust, and how setting boundaries can actually deepen connection rather than damage it. To close, I offer a simple practice to help you begin noticing your internal yes and no—because this work doesn’t start with saying things perfectly out loud, it starts with listening.

Who are You Without Your Roles?

Ever notice how easy it is to describe yourself by what you do—your roles, your responsibilities, who needs you? And if you’re a woman who’s used to holding it all together, those roles have likely become a big part of how you see yourself. In this episode of Still Becoming, I’m talking about roles and identity—how, over time, the things we do for others can become intertwined with who we believe we are. We’ll explore what it looks like when those roles quiet down, even just for a moment, and the question that can feel surprisingly hard to answer: who am I without them? This isn’t about stepping away from the life you’ve built or abandoning the roles you care about. It’s about gently reconnecting with the person underneath them. I’ll share some reflections, a bit of my own experience, and a few questions to help you start noticing what’s there for you. By the end, my hope is that you’ll feel a little more grounded in yourself—not just in what you do, but in who you are.