When Making It Work Isn’t the Win
Okay… so this is one of those things that took me a while to really see, and I think that’s why I wanted to say something about it after the episode, because on the surface it all looks like progress and it kind of is. When things start working in your life, you just assume you’re on the right track, because you’re getting results and things are moving. You can actually see that how you show up is doing something.
And for a while that’s enough, because you’re not sitting there wondering if this works anymore, you’re just in it and you can see it playing out. And that feels good.
But then there’s this other layer that starts to show up, and it’s not obvious at first, it’s more like something you notice in the middle of things. Because if you’re honest, you can make things work. You can walk into a situation and keep it going, and you can smooth something out, and you can guide a conversation so it lands well, because you’ve done it enough times now.
Nothing about that looks wrong, because from the outside everything is fine and everything is working the way you’d expect it to.
But at some point you start to feel the difference between something that’s just working and something that actually feels right to be in, and that’s where it shifts a bit. Because you can be in something that’s going well and still feel like you’re doing more than you want to be doing, and it’s not a big thing. It’s just that quiet moment where you realize you’re the one holding it together.
Just because something works doesn’t mean it belongs to you.
I think this is where manifestation gets a bit misunderstood, because once you realize you have some influence in your life, of course you’re going to use it. The idea that you can make things better or have more say in how things go is appealing, because who wouldn’t want that?
But then it turns into something else, as you stay in it. You start paying attention to everything, and you start making sure things go the way you want, and you stay involved because you know you can keep it moving.
It doesn’t feel like control when you’re doing it, it just feels like you’re being aware, like you’re staying on top of things. But if you stop for a second, you can feel how much energy that takes, because you’re kind of holding everything in place as you go. And yeah, it works, but it’s working because you’re there doing that.
It’s like something held together with tape, because it looks fine, but you know it’s not standing on its own.
If you have to keep it going, that tells you everything.
That’s where the question changes a bit, because it’s not just can I make this work, it’s more like… do I even want to be the one making this work? And those are not the same thing, even though they can look the same from the outside.
You can create results in places you’ve already outgrown, and you can keep things going in situations that don’t actually fit you anymore. If you don’t notice that, you’ll just keep doing it because technically it’s working.
So for me, this is where co-creation became a lot simpler. It stopped being something I thought I had to do, and it became something I could actually see, because my life is already responding to me all day, in normal moments, in conversations, in the way things unfold.
And I don’t have to turn anything on for that.
So now it’s more about noticing where I’m still the one holding things together. I look for a place where I can step back a bit and just see what something actually is without me keeping it in place. And that’s where things start to feel different, because they either hold… or they don’t.
And when they do, you know they’re actually yours.
I’m on Instagram, Threads, TikTok, and Pinterest at inspiredbydesign.marcie. That’s where these conversations keep going in a more everyday way.
Thank you to:
Music | Luminous by Disrots [https://pixabay.com/users/disrots-44678676/]on Pixabay
Photo | by Şevval Kaçar [https://www.pexels.com/photo/green-plants-beside-gray-concrete-house-9324529/]on Pexels
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