The Bougie Dating Coach Podcast

Ep 19: Why I Pulled Away From the Guy I Actually Wanted

In this episode, I open up about my journey with softness, vulnerability, and discovering my fearful-avoidant attachment style. I share how those patterns showed up in dating—especially with one man I really wanted but pulled away from—and the self-sabotage loop I didn’t even know I was stuck in.   We’ll talk about what softness is (and what it’s not), how femininity is rooted in our relationship with God, and what it takes to let go of old patterns so you can attract love that actually aligns with your desires.   If you’ve ever found yourself retreating just when love gets close, this episode will help you see the pattern, name it, and start breaking free.   In this episode of The Bougie Dating Coach Podcast, Stacey explores: 🌸 What softness really means (beyond pastel colors and pretty aesthetics) 🙅🏽‍♀️ The myths around femininity and vulnerability 💔 How her fearful-avoidant attachment style led to pulling away from a man she actually wanted 🌀 The “Self-Sabotage Loop” that keeps women stuck in cycles of retreat and protection ✨ The counteractions you can take to interrupt those patterns and invite real connection 🙏🏽 Why softness is not weakness but a spiritual posture rooted in God

EP 18: As a Dating Coach & Therapist, Letting Go of This One Lie Brought Me Closer to Love

For years, I believed a lie that left me chasing after the “perfect” man who didn’t exist. The truth? No one gives you 100%. Even the healthiest relationships are an 80/20 split—80% of what you need, 20% of what you won’t. In this episode, I share how letting go of that lie shifted my dating perspective, why character matters more than butterflies, and how to identify your core values so you stop settling for less (or holding out for what doesn’t exist). What You’ll Learn in This Episode: Why the “I deserve it all” mindset can keep you single and frustrated The 80/20 rule for dating and how to apply it The difference between attraction and character—and why both matter How to identify your core values so you stop dating in circles The one question to ask yourself before deciding to stay or leave a relationship Resources Mentioned: [The List Ebook] (Click Here [https://www.colormetherapyllc.com/product-page/the-list-getting-to-know-you-while-finding-the-love-for-you]) – Your guide to identifying red, yellow, and green flags so you date with clarity.

EP 17: The Pause that's preparing you

There’s a shift happening in me—and maybe in you too. A divine nudge to slow down, pull back, and let go of the checklist I’ve clung to for most of my life. In this episode, I’m sharing what it feels like to sit in the in-between: the space where desire is loud, but God’s instruction is “rest.” Where everything in me wants answers, timelines, and action—but God keeps inviting me into stillness and trust. I’ll talk about: The emotional tug of letting go of a life plan that wasn’t mine How I’m learning to trust that pulling back isn’t punishment—it’s positioning The grief, frustration, and peace that coexist in the pause Why your checklist might be keeping you from your clarity This episode is a permission slip—for the woman who’s tired of striving, who’s ready to hear from God again, and who’s brave enough to believe that waiting well is still movement. You’re not stuck. You’re not late. You’re being prepared.

EP 16:What I Told God I Want in a Man—and How That Changed Everything

Sis, here’s the truth: God is specific. So why are we still being vague when it comes to what we desire in a man? In this episode, I’m inviting you into the exact conversation I had with God about my desires—no filters, no shame. From the pressures of the invisible clock to the temptation to "settle just a little," we’re talking about it all. We’ll walk through: Why vague prayers lead to vague results The Exodus blueprint that inspired The List What it looks like to cancel out confusion and only entertain clarity How to reject “I’m just trying to see” energy—because you’re not a maybe And the real reason specificity builds belief Plus, I’ll share 3 tangible ways I’m showing up in dating now that I’ve gotten clear—with myself, with God, and with potential partners. 🛠️ RESOURCES MENTIONED: 📝 The List E-Book: Your guided tool to name your dating desires with clarity & boldness (https://www.colormetherapyllc.com/shop) [https://www.colormetherapyllc.com/shop] 💬 Join the Bold Dating Community: [Insert link] [https://stacey-bessard.kit.com/2d88ae710e] 🎧 Share this with a friend who’s tired of dating in limbo

EP 15: I almost gave up praying for my Boaz, until I switch these few things

You’ve been praying… faithfully, tearfully, hopefully. But let’s be honest—it’s starting to feel like your love life is on permanent do not disturb mode. If you grew up in the church, you’ve likely heard, “Just pray and trust God,” but when it comes to your romantic desires, the silence can feel deafening. In this episode, we’re reviving your prayer life—not with empty platitudes, but with purpose, clarity, and faith that doesn’t waver when things get dry. I’m breaking down how to shift your prayer language, what it means to truly ask for a Boaz and be ready for him, and why consistency in your spiritual ask is just as important as alignment in your daily actions. This is not about begging or bargaining with God. It’s about standing in bold belief, refining your request, and praying like a woman who knows she's already heard. What You’ll Learn in This Episode: Why your love life feels stuck even though you’ve been praying How to get clear and specific in your request to God (no more vague or fear-filled prayers) The mindset shift from desperation to confident expectation The importance of language in your prayers—what you’re really saying vs. what you think you’re saying How to remain persistent without growing weary or discouraged Connect With Me: 📲 Follow me on IG https://www.instagram.com/staceybessard/ [https://www.instagram.com/staceybessard/] 💌 Book your Discovery Call Staceybessard.com [staceybessard.com]