The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

Why do kids do disruptive, annoying or maddening things? Usually when children behave badly, the first thing adults do is yell at them, tell them they're bad and dole out punishments. Developmental psychologist David Yeager [https://liberalarts.utexas.edu/psychology/faculty/yeagerds] says that's the wrong approach. Instead parents need work out why their child made bad decisions in the first place.    David is the author of the book 10 to 25 [https://www.amazon.com/10-Motivating-Groundbreaking-Generation-Educators/dp/1668023881]  and argues that we should work out what's at the root of bad behaviour in young people. Maybe they want to gain status with their peers, or crave more outlets to be social. Once adults work out these motivations, they can encourage their kids to find better ways to reach their goals without breaking the rules.    This series on parenting coincides with Dr Laurie's new free online class, The Science of Wellbeing for Parents which is available now at Coursera.org [https://www.coursera.org/]. You can sign up at drlauriesantos.com/parents [http://drlauriesantos.com/parents]. ---------------------------------------- Get ad-free episodes to The Happiness Lab by subscribing to Pushkin+ on Apple Podcasts or Pushkin.fm [https://www.pushkin.fm/join-pushkin]. Pushkin+ subscribers can access ad-free episodes, full audiobooks, exclusive binges, and bonus content for all Pushkin shows.  Subscribe on Apple: apple.co/pushkin [http://apple.co/pushkin] Subscribe on Pushkin: pushkin.fm/plus [https://www.pushkin.fm/join-pushkin] See omnystudio.com/listener [https://omnystudio.com/listener] for privacy information.

Clinical psychologist Dr Becky Kennedy [https://www.goodinside.com/] thinks every child is “good inside” even when they’re behaving badly. So to tackle tantrums or rule-breaking, she argues that parents must set clear boundaries for acceptable behaviour, but also seek to understand why their children are misbehaving.  If a child is acting "badly" because they are disappointed, sad, frustrated, jealous, or uncomfortable, then a parent's job is to help their kid deal with those feelings and build up more resilience to common emotions that they'll experience throughout life. Hear more of Dr Becky's parenting tips on her podcast Good Inside With Dr Becky [https://www.goodinside.com/podcast/] This series on parenting coincides with Dr Laurie's new free online class, The Science of Wellbeing for Parents which is available now at Coursera.org [https://www.coursera.org/]. You can sign up at drlauriesantos.com/parents [http://drlauriesantos.com/parents].   See omnystudio.com/listener [https://omnystudio.com/listener] for privacy information.

Nordic countries are known to be happy - so should we all raise our children like the Scandinavians do? British parent Helen Russell moved to Denmark and was shocked that Danish children play outside in all weathers; are given sharp tools and they're shown how to light matches. In her book The Danish Secret to Happy Kids: How the Viking Way of Raising Children Makes Them Happier, Healthier, and More Independent [https://www.helenrussell.co.uk/books/how-to-raise-a-viking/], Helen explains why play, risk and independence are the cornerstones of "viking" parenting.     This series on parenting coincides with Dr Laurie's new free online class, The Science of Wellbeing for Parents which is available now at Coursera.org [https://www.coursera.org/]. You can sign up at drlauriesantos.com/parents [http://drlauriesantos.com/parents]. See omnystudio.com/listener [https://omnystudio.com/listener] for privacy information.

Parents are never perfect - but their mistakes can have a lasting impact on their children. We all carry with us ideas and attitudes planted in us during childhood - and they're not always very helpful for leading a happy life. How can we unlearn some of these things and also prevent ourselves from passing them on if we have kids? Glennon Doyle and Abby Wambach have raised three children together - so have lots of thoughts on this topic. The couple behind the hit podcast We Can Do Hard Things [https://wecandohardthingspodcast.com/] (and a new book We Can Do Hard Things) tell Dr Laurie how they've learned from their upbringings and decided to do a better job with their own family.  ---------------------------------------- Get ad-free episodes to The Happiness Lab by subscribing to Pushkin+ on Apple Podcasts or Pushkin.fm [https://www.pushkin.fm/join-pushkin]. Pushkin+ subscribers can access ad-free episodes, full audiobooks, exclusive binges, and bonus content for all Pushkin shows.  Subscribe on Apple: apple.co/pushkin [http://apple.co/pushkin] Subscribe on Pushkin: pushkin.fm/plus [https://www.pushkin.fm/join-pushkin] See omnystudio.com/listener [https://omnystudio.com/listener] for privacy information.

Too many parents feel “exhausted, burned out, and perpetually behind” according to the former US Surgeon General Dr Vivek Murthy. He says more needs to be done to protect parental mental health.  Vivek talks to Dr Laurie about his experience as a dad and the loneliness, guilt and shame parents can feel as they struggle with the challenges of raising children.  This series on parenting coincides with Dr Laurie's new free online class, The Science of Wellbeing for Parents which is available now at Coursera.org [https://www.coursera.org/]. You can sign up at drlauriesantos.com/parents [http://drlauriesantos.com/parents]. See omnystudio.com/listener [https://omnystudio.com/listener] for privacy information.