The MindfulMess with Gene & Matt

Episode 22: The Myths of Mind Reading

Humans love stories, and whether we realize it or not, most of us are usually narrating some kind of story about the things that happen around us. The challenge is that those stories aren't always accurate, and we all have personal biases that influence our perception of what those around us really mean by their words and actions. In this episode, we talk about mind reading, why it can cause conflict and challenge for us when we do it, and discuss what it looks like to adopt a different way of understanding the world, especially in relationships and interactions with those around us. Gene touches on how the work of cognitive behavioral therapy feeds into the ability to overcome mind-reading, and Matt provides a similar nod to acceptance commitment therapy to a similar end. Give it a listen and let us know what you think; after all, we can’t read your minds!

Episode 21. It's Fall!

Hello everyone! In this episode, we welcome the fall and the stream of consciousness that it brings. We talk about all of the things you’d expect; pumpkin spiced lattes, our favorite holidays, seasonal affect disorder, the pitfalls of the modern medical institution, the responsibility we all have in facing our own personal suffering…you know, the usual! We thought we’d try a more free-roaming pace to this week’s episode, so we’ll leave it at that and hope that you enjoy the conversation. Let us know what you think!

Episode 20. Fairness, Equality, & Equity

We all agree that fairness is an important ideal in so many areas of our lives. We seek fairness in our relationships, in human and civil rights, in our workplaces, among many other places. But is it achievable? What does it really look like? What is the cost of pursuing fairness, and what is the cost of not pursuing it? We try to distinguish the difference between equality and equity, and why there’s a need to move beyond equality and see equity as the necessary evolution in the pursuit of fairness. We discuss how equity fits into the social movement for diversity and inclusion, especially in the workplace, where much of this conversation is happening. And Matt picks a bone with the expression that "life isn't fair." Fairness is much more than a state of things; it is a process, the result of all the choices we make, and a willingness to have hard conversations. To desire fairness is to also embrace the rapidly expanding definition of diversity, and define and redefine fairness with that understanding over and over again. We hope you enjoy this episode! References: Pre-sale link for Matt's Book! [https://matt-salmon.presale.manuscripts.com/] Loving What Is - Byron Katie [https://thework.com/books/]

Episode 19. Optimism & Pessimism

This week, we explore the topic of optimism and pessimism. We discuss whether we think they are inherent traits or learned frameworks, and how they might influence our decision making throughout our lives. Matt proposes that they each exist on separate spectra rather than sharing opposite ends of a single spectrum, and we introduce how it intersects with realism as well. When does optimism start to turn into toxic positivity or ignorance? Is optimism a function of privilege? When does pessimism start to turn into depression and hopelessness? Are there situations where pessimism might be valuable? We ponder these questions and many more in our conversation; let us know what you think!

Episode 18. Perfectionism & Procrastination

Perfectionism is something many of us struggle with, and for those of us who know it well, we know that it can create a lot of stress for us, and can feel heavy to carry in our day to day lives. In this week’s episode, we discuss perfectionism and where we think it comes from, as well as some of the psychological challenges it presents. We also tie it in with procrastination; Matt talks about some of the many ways that procrastination can creep into our lives and provides some suggestions for how to overcome it. Our conversation delves into the topics of perfectionism and how it influences self-esteem, how society escalates and pressurizes perfection, and even how our education systems perpetuate perfectionism in certain ways at their very core. We discuss what a path away from perfectionism could look like, and much more in this discussion. Thanks for listening, and please enjoy! References: American-Born Chinese [https://ondisneyplus.disney.com/show/american-born-chinese] on Disney+