Trying Very Hard: The Podcast

Do You Want Kids? On Choosing Parenthood, Social Pressure, and Inherited Expectations

Did you decide to have children — or did you just assume you would? In this episode of Trying Very Hard podcast, Amanda and Monica get honest about having kids, not having kids, maternal ambivalence, and the default most of us never question. Amanda is visibly pregnant. Monica has always assumed she'd want kids but has had her doubts. Together they unpack the default assumption that most of us inherited, the quiet fear of saying out loud that you're uncertain, and why the people who've decided not to have kids have usually thought about it harder than anyone. They get into maternal ambivalence, the career disruption nobody prepares you for, the resentment that's too hard to admit, the biological clock and egg freezing, and the big question underneath it all: can you ever really be ready? No judgment. No right answer. Just two friends trying to figure out whether the lives they're building are actually theirs. Follow us: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tryingveryhardpod/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TryingVeryHardPod Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4kQL0nJmPhv38D8io58eMX Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/sg/podcast/trying-very-hard-the-podcast/id1878052269 Website: https://www.tryingveryhard.com/

Who Are You Without Your Job? On Burnout, Career Identity, and Starting Over (with Sandra Wang)

Who are you without your job title? It's a question most high achievers never stop long enough to ask. Sandra Wang did — not by choice, but because burnout and a pandemic layoff left her with nothing else to sit with. In this episode of Trying Very Hard, the life and career coach and founder of The Kind Mind (@thekindmindcoaching [https://www.instagram.com/thekindmindcoaching]) joins us to talk about career burnout, identity collapse, people pleasing, and what the slow, uncomfortable work of rebuilding actually looks like. We cover the hustle years — the startup grind, the validation loop, the moment her friends thought she owned her boss's company because she was so attached to it. We cover the crash — the weight fluctuations, the sleepless nights, the "who am I without a role" spiral that therapy and coaching helped her name. And we cover what came after — the ICF certification, the quiet pivot, the practice she built rooted in self-compassion, and the therapist who recently told her she has a healthy nervous system. She asked her to say it again. If you've ever tied your self-worth to your output, struggled to switch off, or realised the inner voice you've been living with is meaner than anything you'd say to a friend — this one will hit. Follow Sandra: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thekindmindcoaching [https://www.instagram.com/thekindmindcoaching] Follow us: Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/tryingveryhardpod/⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/tryingveryhardpod/⁠⁠⁠] YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@TryingVeryHardPod⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/@TryingVeryHardPod⁠⁠⁠] Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/4kQL0nJmPhv38D8io58eMX?si=fb23804978884406⁠⁠⁠ [https://open.spotify.com/show/4kQL0nJmPhv38D8io58eMX?si=fb23804978884406⁠⁠⁠] Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/sg/podcast/trying-very-hard-the-podcast/id1878052269⁠⁠⁠ [https://podcasts.apple.com/sg/podcast/trying-very-hard-the-podcast/id1878052269⁠⁠⁠] Website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.tryingveryhard.com/ [https://www.tryingveryhard.com/]

Love in Your Thirties: On Dating, Heartbreak, and Relearning Love as a Millennial

The relationship patterns you build in your twenties don't just disappear. They follow you until something or someone finally makes you look at them. In this Trying Very Hard episode, Amanda and Monica get honest about dating in your twenties versus your thirties — the loves that shaped them, the patterns they had to unlearn, and what it actually took to get there. They talk about the addictive high-low cycle that's hard to leave even when you know it's bad for you, the texting games they played and hated themselves for, the difference between kind and nice, and what it really means to wear your heart on your sleeve when you've spent years treating it as an act of desperation. They also get into what being single in your thirties actually feels like, the pressure of timelines and biological clocks, how to know when you're settling, and why the non-negotiables that actually hold up look nothing like the list you made at 24. If you've ever stayed too long, questioned your self-worth in a relationship, or wondered when love in your 30s was supposed to start feeling easy, this one's for you. Follow us: Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/tryingveryhardpod/⁠⁠⁠ [⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/tryingveryhardpod/⁠⁠⁠] YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@TryingVeryHardPod⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/@TryingVeryHardPod⁠⁠⁠] Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/4kQL0nJmPhv38D8io58eMX?si=fb23804978884406⁠⁠⁠ [⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/4kQL0nJmPhv38D8io58eMX?si=fb23804978884406⁠⁠⁠] Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/sg/podcast/trying-very-hard-the-podcast/id1878052269⁠⁠⁠ [https://podcasts.apple.com/sg/podcast/trying-very-hard-the-podcast/id1878052269⁠⁠⁠] Website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.tryingveryhard.com/ [https://www.tryingveryhard.com/]

When Fitness Is Coping: On Disordered Eating, Body Image, and Unlearning (with Naz Schifra)

What if the body you're trying to build is the one that's slowly breaking you down? In this episode of Trying Very Hard, we sit down with Naz Schifra (@nazhariaschifra⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/nazhariaschifra⁠]) — co-founder of ELVTE (@elvtesg [https://www.instagram.com/elvtesg]), coach, nutritionist, and former bodybuilder — to talk about the cost of being shredded, the disordered eating that bodybuilding prep requires, and the long, unsexy work of unlearning a body image she'd built around proving people wrong. We get into period loss, eating 1,100 calories a day, hiding the weighing scale during recovery, and the moment Naz realized that every fitness era of her life — bodybuilding, CrossFit, weightlifting, now Hyrox — was somehow a coping mechanism. We also talk about the rise of Hyrox, the toxic side of fitness trends on social media, and what raising your standards actually looks like when more isn't better. If you've ever pushed your body to prove something, looked your "best" while feeling your worst, or quietly wondered what you're hiding from when you sign up for the next thing, this one's for you. Come sit with us. Follow Naz: Naz Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nazhariaschifra [https://www.instagram.com/nazhariaschifra] ELVTE Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elvtesg [https://www.instagram.com/elvtesg] Follow us: Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/tryingveryhardpod/⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/tryingveryhardpod/⁠⁠⁠] YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@TryingVeryHardPod⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/@TryingVeryHardPod⁠⁠⁠] Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/4kQL0nJmPhv38D8io58eMX?si=fb23804978884406⁠⁠⁠ [https://open.spotify.com/show/4kQL0nJmPhv38D8io58eMX?si=fb23804978884406⁠⁠⁠] Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/sg/podcast/trying-very-hard-the-podcast/id1878052269⁠⁠⁠ [⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/sg/podcast/trying-very-hard-the-podcast/id1878052269⁠⁠⁠] Website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.tryingveryhard.com/ [https://www.tryingveryhard.com/]

Sober Curious Movement: On Drinking Culture, Social Pressure, and Why We Default to Alcohol

Why are we so weird about not drinking? In this episode of Trying Very Hard, we get into the sober curious movement, drinking culture, social pressure, and why alcohol still feels like the default setting for socializing, dating, celebrating, and everything in between — even when fewer of us actually want to be drinking. Monica hasn't really drunk in six or seven years (she's allergic, and tired of explaining it). Amanda is pregnant and noticing, for the first time, how much she'd been using alcohol as a social crutch. We talk about growing up in Jakarta's party-school culture, consulting bosses who pressure you into wine, the dating guy who broke up with Monica because she doesn't drink, and the Mel Robbins reframe that cracked it open: maybe it's not about the person who stopped — maybe it's about you. We get into sober curiosity, gen Z drinking less, zero-alcohol drinks, alcohol as social lubricant, and why the people who get uncomfortable when someone isn't drinking are the ones telling on themselves. No lectures. No judgment. Just two friends trying to figure out when drinking is a choice and when it's just a default. Are you drinking because you want to, or because you don't know how not to? Follow us: Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/tryingveryhardpod/⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/tryingveryhardpod/⁠⁠⁠] YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@TryingVeryHardPod⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/@TryingVeryHardPod⁠⁠⁠] Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/4kQL0nJmPhv38D8io58eMX?si=fb23804978884406⁠⁠⁠ [https://open.spotify.com/show/4kQL0nJmPhv38D8io58eMX?si=fb23804978884406⁠⁠⁠] Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/sg/podcast/trying-very-hard-the-podcast/id1878052269⁠⁠⁠ [https://podcasts.apple.com/sg/podcast/trying-very-hard-the-podcast/id1878052269⁠⁠⁠] Website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.tryingveryhard.com/ [https://www.tryingveryhard.com/]