Woven Episode 14: Failure to Thrive: The Birth Story that Changed Our Family
In this episode of Woven in the Body, Jess and Bruce Ridge share their family’s healing journey after their daughter Anthem, now going by the name Beniyanna, was born in January 2020 following a planned home birth that transferred to a hospital, a 33-hour labor, and an unplanned C-section. Jess describes leaving the hospital with debilitating migraines and years of head and neck pain, intense nervous system dysregulation, depression and anxiety, and the isolation of early COVID while returning to high-intensity remote work and nursing with little sleep. Their daughter was labeled with “failure to thrive" at the age of 2, with doctors recommending invasive procedures despite normal test results, prompting the family to seek alternative support. Jess explains how she found Christiana’s work through somatic and pre/perinatal psychology referrals and chose to try it before pursuing further medical interventions.
The conversation details the therapy process, including “belly messages,” trauma-informed birth story processing with a retired midwife who reviewed hospital records, distance craniosacral therapy sessions over Zoom, and online play-based sessions with Beniyanna that explored embodied cues and family dynamics. Bruce shares his experience of feeling disconnected and “outside the tribe,” how exploring his own birth history of immediate separation from his mother contributed to long-standing patterns of making himself small, and how therapy supported reconnection and bonding—highlighted by Beniyanna inviting him into a shared play fort. They discuss gaps in postpartum care, the emotional impacts of birth interventions, the need for village-like support for mothers and fathers, and barriers to access, including systemic inequities. The episode closes with reflections on improvements in Jess’s pain and regulation, Beniyana’s growth and thriving, and the family’s sense of hope and ongoing healing.
00:00 Welcome to Woven in the Body + How to Find Us
00:28 Why We Left Boston: New Baby, City Stress & COVID Lockdown
03:49 ‘Failure to Thrive’ Scare: Medical Pressure vs. What Felt True
08:23 The Birth Story: Homebirth Plan, Hospital Transfer & C‑Section After 33 Hours
10:44 Postpartum Fallout: Migraines, No Sleep, Work Stress & Nervous System Dysregulation 12:34 Finding Somatic Support: Saying No to Invasive Tests & Reaching Out for Help
14:27 Therapy Approach: Start With the Parent’s Field Before Working With the Child
16:31 Belly Messages: Rewriting the Narrative & Speaking to Baby as Conscious
22:25 Processing the Birth With the Midwife: Records, Clarity, and Being Held
26:32 Big Picture: C‑Sections, PTSD Risk, and the Postpartum Support We’re Missing
32:50 Zoom Play Therapy With Beana: Intense Sessions, Energy Shifts, and Breakthroughs 35:53 Reading the Child’s Body: Somatic Cues in Play Therapy
37:16 “Dad Out to Sea”: The Pain of Disconnection & Rebuilding Bonds
40:11 Tracing the Pattern Back: Birth Trauma, Separation, and Making Yourself Small
44:16 Rewriting the Story: Prenatal/Implantation Journey & Finding Agency 47:59 Breakthrough in the Fort: When She Invites Dad In
51:26 Failure to Thrive Turns Around: Parents’ Healing Helps the Child
52:18 What Parents Need to Hear: Access, Readiness, and Being Held
01:01:29 Somatics, Nature, and the Sacredness of Birth (and Death)
01:03:53 A Message to Fathers: Seeking Care in a System That Doesn’t Hold You
01:09:35 Equity & Access: Race, Class, and Who Gets Supported
01:13:20 Hope, “Magic,” and the Family’s Transformation (Closing)
