Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

Brian Simpson Almost Died | Your Mom's House Ep. 852

_The End_ is Ari's new storytelling show! It's almost here! Premieres April 16 on https://theend.ymhstudios.com/. Presale pricing only available for a short time! You get 7 full, hour long episodes of completely unfiltered stories for $24.99. SPONSORS: - Text YMH to 64000 to get a FREE pocket pivot and their 10-pattern sprayer with the purchase of ANY size Copper Head hose. Message and data rates may apply. - Head to https://factormeals.com/ymh50off and use code ymh50off to get 50 percent off and free breakfast for a year. This week, Tom’s away, so Christina P calls in Brian Simpson, who after an appropriately timed "I'm having chest pains" drop, immediately reveals he almost died last month. What follows is a hilarious and horrifying breakdown of Brian’s heart attack on the road in Atlanta, and the odyssey of ICU insanity, sexy nurses, fried chicken in the cardiac unit, missing meds, CVS incompetence, and the always awful VA. Once they’re done unpacking death, survival, and why Americans are apparently supposed to just die quietly, Christina and Brian swerve into Justin Timberlake’s DUI arrest, Dolly Parton’s tits, looksmaxxing, TikTok freaks, adult summer camp psychos, horny grannies, gay blacks, and the fart BIG WORD lady trying to explain herself on The Breakfast Club. Grab your Life Alert and enjoy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 852 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:41 - Opening Clip: I'm Having Chest Pain 00:03:22 - Brian Simpson Almost Died 00:11:22 - Getting To The Hospital 00:22:13 - The Wacky American Healthcare System 00:33:06 - New Lease On Life 00:37:40 - Gay Black Guy Stuff 00:40:13 - Horny Granny 00:42:20 - Justin Timberlake Arrest Footage 00:45:42 - Dolly Parton's Funbags 00:51:27 - TikToks 01:04:51 - The Fart Slur Lady Apologizes 01:10:41 - More White People Shit 01:16:46 - Closing Song - "Chest Pain" by MANOLO Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

Triggered By Trauma w/ Triggernometry's Francis Foster & Konstantin Kisin | Your Mom's House Ep. 851

SPONSORS: - Head to http://lucy.co/stores to get 20% off your first order when you buy online with code YMH. - For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/YMH. - Head to https://Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. Tom Segura and Christina P are back for another wild episode of Your Mom’s House Podcast, diving headfirst into a new batch of internet insanity before they are joined by some very European guests. This episode covers everything from the viral McDonalds CEO video, to horny grannies, to Obama talking black, to Putin praising some broads, plus, Gene Simmons telling celebs to shut up, pigeons taking over a mans home, and Christina showing Tom a game called "Chernobyl or Hungarian Hospital?" Later in the episode, Francis Foster and Konstantin Kisin join the show for a hilarious guest segment packed with sharp cultural commentary, stories about Eastern Europe, parenting, travel, teaching, gratitude, and why seeing more of the world might be the cure for modern stupidity. The conversation bounces from outrageous internet content to real talk about America, Hungary, Russia, Ukraine, family life, and raising kids with perspective. Plus Francis and Konstantin get a dose of Christina's TikTok curations just for good measure. Cheerio! Your Mom’s House Ep. 851 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:11 - Obama Taliking Black 00:07:07 - Opening Clip: Cool Brag 00:09:34 - Clip: Cool Gal Loves Her Fiance 00:13:12 - Clip: Chocolate Massage 00:15:36 - Gene Simmons Says Shut Up 00:20:33 - Clip: Paralympian Tom 00:21:34 - RIP Robert Carradine 00:26:01 - They Did Surgery On A Weiner...In A Car 00:29:48 - Clip: Public Pooper 00:30:30 - Russian Pigeon House 00:32:13 - Chernobyl or Hungarian Hospital? 00:34:18 - Clip: Screaming Into Void 00:35:10 - Mike The Tax Guy 00:37:49 - Francis Foster & Konstantin Kisin 00:44:58 - Brexit, Royals, & Epstein Files 00:50:06 - Talented Pieces Of Shit 00:56:33 - Talking To Yourself & Accents 01:04:01 - Master Of Accents 01:11:28 - Dictators 01:21:05 - Horrible Or Hilarious 01:26:28 - McDonalds CEO Tries New Burger 01:30:06 - Very British Discussion 01:34:06 - TikToks 01:45:53 - Chernobyl Or Hungarian Hospital? Redux 01:49:07 - Closing Song - "How You Say Cucumber" by Micah Akervold Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

Tom Is Home Here Now | Your Mom's House Ep. 850

SPONSORS: - For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/YMH. - Shop plans at https://MINTMOBILE.com/mom. - Go to https://helixsleep.com/YMH for 27% Off Sitewide. This week on Your Mom’s House, Tom returns home from LA after filming Bad Thoughts and jumps right back into the madness with Christina. "Two mommies, one jean" for a reason, as the two catch up and break down another stack of insane internet clips. This episode has everything YMH fans want: Tom's still mostly clean face, Christina’s glamping adventure with the boys, park squirrel bite updates, hamster hospice trauma, Squatty Potty scandal talk, horny blacks, hornier grandmas, and a parade of deeply disturbed cool guys. Plus Tom gets a welcome back batch of clips featuring people getting hurt and the Main Mommies discuss the ethics of the shoes in the house, and whether it's a race thing or just a clean person thing. Your Mom’s House Ep. 850 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:03:24 - Wilderness Survival 00:07:20 - Opening Clip: Master Of Accents - Homeless Edition 00:17:32 - Whole Milk & Meth 00:21:34 - Squatty Potty Creator + Shoes In The House 00:28:01 - Squirrel Bites & Hamster Hospice 00:33:01 - Kinky Unc 00:41:05 - Tour Date Plugs 00:43:33 - Clip: Noodle Leg Aura 00:46:30 - Horrible Or Hilarious 00:53:30 - Freaky Old Lady 00:57:30 - TikToks 01:05:34 - Closing Song - "Hillary Clinton Ate My A55hole" by Koster Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

Hollywood Horror Stories w/ Jim Breuer | Your Mom's House Ep. 849

Come see Christina do standup live! Irving, TX! Denver, CO! Chicago, IL! She's coming to you! Get your tickets at https://christinap.com SPONSORS: - Tear. Pour. Live More. Go to https://liquid-iv.com and get 20% off your first order with code YMH at checkout. - Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial today at https://shopify.com/ymh - Visit http://BlueChew.com to get 10% off your first month. This week on Your Mom's House, comedian and SNL alum, Jim Breuer joins Christina P for a raw, hilarious, and no-holds-barred conversation that goes everywhere! From growing up as a fat kid with blue-collar parents, to surviving Saturday Night Live, to raising kids in a world that feels completely upside down. Christina P and Jim talk parenting boys, discipline, letting kids be kids, and why overprotective culture is failing families. Jim opens up about marriage, loyalty, divorce trauma, and why he refuses to blow up his family for fame or temptation. The two also dive deep into cancel culture, porn addiction, gender ideology, Hollywood hypocrisy, and the Epstein era, with Jim sharing jaw-dropping stories from his time inside the industry. Plus Christina shows Jim some insane Toks and other unhinged content we've discovered online. Enjoy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 849 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:18 - Being A Fat Kid 00:04:20 - Raising Kids 00:08:30 - Opening Clip: Gay Genderfluid Dog 00:14:14 - Woody Allen & Hollywood Creeps 00:20:16 - Marriage, Loyalty, & A Stolen Car 00:31:49 - Really Cool Relationships 00:37:29 - Porn Addiction & How It Rewires Young Minds 00:42:52 - Some Gay Clips 00:47:42 - Huffing Car Accident 00:52:14 - College Frat Boys 00:57:05 - Find The Funny Tour 01:00:02 - Christina's Curations 01:07:06 - Closing Song - "Bite The End of Your Dad's D*ck Off" by DJ Stanimom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

[REDACTED] Is In The Epstein Files?! | Your Mom's House Ep. 848

SPONSORS: * Go to https://Quince.com/mom [https://quince.com/mom] for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. * Switch now at https://MINTMOBILE.com/mom [https://MINTMOBILE.com/mom]. * Head to https://factormeals.com/ymh50off [https://factormeals.com/ymh50off] and use code ymh50off to get 50 percent off and free breakfast for a year. * Get organized, refreshed, and back on track this new year for WAY less. Head to https://Wayfair.com [https://wayfair.com/] right now to shop all things home. Check out the world premiere of "Manhood" at SXSW this March https://Schedule.sxsw.com/2026/films/... For more information on "Manhood" and Outerboro Films visit https://Outerboro.tv Tom Segura joins Christina P via Zoom this week and the mommies waste no time getting completely stupid. This episode has it all: the absolutely unhinged viral Nicole Curtis “fart n-word” clip, a fresh dose of Safety Larry doing what Safety Larry does best, and Fancy Chef stepping into the pizza review game like a true culinary king, and a revelation about a certain comedian being in the Epstein files that that us laughing our shirts off. Plus the mommies get horrible or hilarious, shame some TikTards, and update each other on their respective periods. Keep featherin’ it, follow proto, and enjoy the slop. Your Mom’s House Ep. 848 https://tomsegura.com/tour [https://tomsegura.com/tour] https://christinap.com/ [https://christinap.com/] https://store.ymhstudios.com [https://store.ymhstudios.com] https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast [https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast] Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:11 - Tom's Cute Face 00:07:03 - Hamster Funeral 00:16:04 - Opening Clip: Fart N-Word 00:27:38 - Period Update 00:28:52 - [Redacted] Is In The Epstein Files 00:30:52 - Safety Larry 00:44:34 - Horrible Or Hilarious 00:49:21 - Dick Doc + Heated Rivalry 00:51:18 - Fancy Chef Pizza Review 00:55:08 - Clip: My White Stuff 00:56:07 - TikToks 01:03:59 - Wrap Up 01:04:34 - Closing Song - "Cucumber" by Ramsay McQueen Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]