Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

Tim & Christine Learn About Bimbofication | Your Mom's House Ep. 854

The End is Ari's new storytelling show! It's almost here! Premieres April 16 on https://theend.ymhstudios.com/ . Presale pricing only available for a short time! You get 7 full, hour long episodes of completely unfiltered stories for $24.99. Afterwards, the price will increase so get it now! SPONSORS: - Head to https://BlueChew.com to get 10% off your first month of BlueChew Gold with code YMH. - Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial today at https://shopify.com Tom Segura and Christina P are back in Studio Jeans for another completely unhinged episode of Your Mom’s House, and this one goes from philosophy class to fake tits in record time. The Main Mommies kick things off by solving the world’s least necessary ethical debate, then dive headfirst into the internet chaos with a wild breakdown of the Kristi Noem husband story involving fetishes, webcam betrayal, and big bimbo boobies. Also in this episode: 80 year old sex symbols, Safety Larry delivering some anxiety-inducing escalator wisdom, Mantak Chia teaches the jeans how to hold testicle and circulate sexual energy, and Tom reveals the kind of fancy gift he gives a fancy chef after a great meal. Plus there’s a hilarious restaurant review, horrifying injury clips, wet floor PTSD, nicotine pouch logic, and a closing stretch of TikToks so deranged it could only live inside the Mommy-Dome. If you're looking for internet weirdos, cool guys, fake boobs, escalator trauma, old-lady thirst, and enough chaotic marriage riffing to keep your jeans high and tight, this ones for you. Your Mom’s House Ep. 854 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:03:44 - Opening Clip: Incest Is Cool 00:12:52 - Kristi Noem's Husband 00:22:56 - Horny Granny Wants To Spank Tom 00:27:27 - A Fancy Gift For A Fancy Chef 00:30:30 - Fucking Expensive Restaurant 00:32:39 - Clip: Human Water Gun 00:33:20 - International Realtors 00:36:35 - Safety Larry 00:39:38 - Mantak Chia 00:45:21 - Horrible Or Hilarious 01:00:11 - Mike The Tax Guy 01:03:58 - Christina's TikToks 01:16:37 - Closing Song - "WTF Is Eco-Sex" by Gaping Dad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

Ari Matti Is An International Problem | Your Mom's House Ep. 853

The End is Ari's new storytelling show! It's almost here! Premieres April 16 on https://theend.ymhstudios.com/ [https://theend.ymhstudios.com/] . Presale pricing only available for a short time! You get 7 full, hour long episodes of completely unfiltered stories for $24.99. Afterwards, the price will increase so get it now! SPONSORS: * For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/YMH [https://hims.com/YMH]. Tom Segura holds it down solo on this episode of Your Mom’s House while Christina is away, and he’s joined by comedian Ari Matti for one wildly funny conversation. Ari breaks down his insane journey from Estonia to Melbourne, London, New York, and Austin, explains how he learned to do stand-up in a second language, and talks about going from open mics overseas to getting passed at The Comedy Mothership and becoming a Kill Tony regular. Along the way, Tom and Ari get into Ari’s background in MMA, the delusional confidence it takes to survive comedy, and why being an outsider ended up becoming his biggest advantage. Then things go fully off the rails with stories about foreign chiropractors, Estonian blackface on national TV, Robert Paul Champagne, Alex Jones, Liver King at the Four Seasons, catastrophic injury clips, and one of the most disgusting travel-hookup stories ever told on the show. It’s a classic YMH mix of comedy, chaos, culture shock, internet lunatics, and deeply questionable sexual honesty. Your Mom’s House Ep. 853 https://tomsegura.com/tour [https://tomsegura.com/tour] https://christinap.com/ [https://christinap.com/] https://store.ymhstudios.com [https://store.ymhstudios.com] https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast [https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast] Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:02 - Comedy In Non-Native Tongue 00:11:20 - America & MMA Fighting 00:19:17 - Opening Clip: I'll Eat It 00:23:33 - Foreign Chiropractors 00:28:48 - Big Word Burger 00:32:34 - Clip: Alex Jones Calling It Quits 00:34:13 - Liver King & Rogan 00:37:42 - Big Break & YMH Memories 00:41:30 - Horrible Or Hilarious 00:48:27 - Brain Injuries 00:58:19 - What's Happening With The Internet? 01:00:35 - Kinky Unc 01:04:13 - Plugging Dates 01:05:44 - Fat Boy For Life 01:08:37 - Closing Song - "WHAAAT" by Tyler Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

Brian Simpson Almost Died | Your Mom's House Ep. 852

_The End_ is Ari's new storytelling show! It's almost here! Premieres April 16 on https://theend.ymhstudios.com/. Presale pricing only available for a short time! You get 7 full, hour long episodes of completely unfiltered stories for $24.99. SPONSORS: - Text YMH to 64000 to get a FREE pocket pivot and their 10-pattern sprayer with the purchase of ANY size Copper Head hose. Message and data rates may apply. - Head to https://factormeals.com/ymh50off and use code ymh50off to get 50 percent off and free breakfast for a year. This week, Tom’s away, so Christina P calls in Brian Simpson, who after an appropriately timed "I'm having chest pains" drop, immediately reveals he almost died last month. What follows is a hilarious and horrifying breakdown of Brian’s heart attack on the road in Atlanta, and the odyssey of ICU insanity, sexy nurses, fried chicken in the cardiac unit, missing meds, CVS incompetence, and the always awful VA. Once they’re done unpacking death, survival, and why Americans are apparently supposed to just die quietly, Christina and Brian swerve into Justin Timberlake’s DUI arrest, Dolly Parton’s tits, looksmaxxing, TikTok freaks, adult summer camp psychos, horny grannies, gay blacks, and the fart BIG WORD lady trying to explain herself on The Breakfast Club. Grab your Life Alert and enjoy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 852 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:41 - Opening Clip: I'm Having Chest Pain 00:03:22 - Brian Simpson Almost Died 00:11:22 - Getting To The Hospital 00:22:13 - The Wacky American Healthcare System 00:33:06 - New Lease On Life 00:37:40 - Gay Black Guy Stuff 00:40:13 - Horny Granny 00:42:20 - Justin Timberlake Arrest Footage 00:45:42 - Dolly Parton's Funbags 00:51:27 - TikToks 01:04:51 - The Fart Slur Lady Apologizes 01:10:41 - More White People Shit 01:16:46 - Closing Song - "Chest Pain" by MANOLO Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

Triggered By Trauma w/ Triggernometry's Francis Foster & Konstantin Kisin | Your Mom's House Ep. 851

SPONSORS: - Head to http://lucy.co/stores to get 20% off your first order when you buy online with code YMH. - For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/YMH. - Head to https://Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. Tom Segura and Christina P are back for another wild episode of Your Mom’s House Podcast, diving headfirst into a new batch of internet insanity before they are joined by some very European guests. This episode covers everything from the viral McDonalds CEO video, to horny grannies, to Obama talking black, to Putin praising some broads, plus, Gene Simmons telling celebs to shut up, pigeons taking over a mans home, and Christina showing Tom a game called "Chernobyl or Hungarian Hospital?" Later in the episode, Francis Foster and Konstantin Kisin join the show for a hilarious guest segment packed with sharp cultural commentary, stories about Eastern Europe, parenting, travel, teaching, gratitude, and why seeing more of the world might be the cure for modern stupidity. The conversation bounces from outrageous internet content to real talk about America, Hungary, Russia, Ukraine, family life, and raising kids with perspective. Plus Francis and Konstantin get a dose of Christina's TikTok curations just for good measure. Cheerio! Your Mom’s House Ep. 851 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:11 - Obama Taliking Black 00:07:07 - Opening Clip: Cool Brag 00:09:34 - Clip: Cool Gal Loves Her Fiance 00:13:12 - Clip: Chocolate Massage 00:15:36 - Gene Simmons Says Shut Up 00:20:33 - Clip: Paralympian Tom 00:21:34 - RIP Robert Carradine 00:26:01 - They Did Surgery On A Weiner...In A Car 00:29:48 - Clip: Public Pooper 00:30:30 - Russian Pigeon House 00:32:13 - Chernobyl or Hungarian Hospital? 00:34:18 - Clip: Screaming Into Void 00:35:10 - Mike The Tax Guy 00:37:49 - Francis Foster & Konstantin Kisin 00:44:58 - Brexit, Royals, & Epstein Files 00:50:06 - Talented Pieces Of Shit 00:56:33 - Talking To Yourself & Accents 01:04:01 - Master Of Accents 01:11:28 - Dictators 01:21:05 - Horrible Or Hilarious 01:26:28 - McDonalds CEO Tries New Burger 01:30:06 - Very British Discussion 01:34:06 - TikToks 01:45:53 - Chernobyl Or Hungarian Hospital? Redux 01:49:07 - Closing Song - "How You Say Cucumber" by Micah Akervold Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

Tom Is Home Here Now | Your Mom's House Ep. 850

SPONSORS: - For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/YMH. - Shop plans at https://MINTMOBILE.com/mom. - Go to https://helixsleep.com/YMH for 27% Off Sitewide. This week on Your Mom’s House, Tom returns home from LA after filming Bad Thoughts and jumps right back into the madness with Christina. "Two mommies, one jean" for a reason, as the two catch up and break down another stack of insane internet clips. This episode has everything YMH fans want: Tom's still mostly clean face, Christina’s glamping adventure with the boys, park squirrel bite updates, hamster hospice trauma, Squatty Potty scandal talk, horny blacks, hornier grandmas, and a parade of deeply disturbed cool guys. Plus Tom gets a welcome back batch of clips featuring people getting hurt and the Main Mommies discuss the ethics of the shoes in the house, and whether it's a race thing or just a clean person thing. Your Mom’s House Ep. 850 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:03:24 - Wilderness Survival 00:07:20 - Opening Clip: Master Of Accents - Homeless Edition 00:17:32 - Whole Milk & Meth 00:21:34 - Squatty Potty Creator + Shoes In The House 00:28:01 - Squirrel Bites & Hamster Hospice 00:33:01 - Kinky Unc 00:41:05 - Tour Date Plugs 00:43:33 - Clip: Noodle Leg Aura 00:46:30 - Horrible Or Hilarious 00:53:30 - Freaky Old Lady 00:57:30 - TikToks 01:05:34 - Closing Song - "Hillary Clinton Ate My A55hole" by Koster Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]