How To Fail With Elizabeth Day

Amy Jackson Westwick - I Was A Magnet For Narcissists

Amy Jackson Westwick is a major Bollywood film star with some 14 million followers on social media. Yet she grew up in a working class family in Liverpool. So how did a teenager from Merseyside become one of the most recognisable British actors working in Bollywood? Today on How To Fail, she tells us her story. We discuss growing up too fast, how she broke free from a cycle of narcissistic relationships and how she now manages a blended family (Amy has two sons - one with her husband, the actor Ed Westwick, and one from a previous partner). Plus: what she learned from her years in Bollywood and why she’s ’a petty cow’. ✨ IN THIS EPISODE: 00:00 Intro 03:13 Chasing Security Not Fame 04:08 Finding Yourself Again 06:35 Growing Up Too Fast 06:50 Liverpool Childhood Roots 11:27 Pageants to Bollywood Break 24:04 Perfect Family Fantasy 25:21 Romanticising Love 26:40 Back To Back Relationships 27:30 People Pleasing Patterns 29:06 Narcissists And Boundaries 31:53 Leaving And Healing 36:39 Blended Family Reality 39:52 Step Parenting Rules 47:05 Listening To Yourself 💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER: Security comes in so many different forms - and for me it's peace of mind. If it doesn't feel right, then it's not right... you've got to actually know how you're feeling and not be afraid to voice it. [On narcissistic relationships]: I confused controlling behavior for somebody who was loving and caring, and in actual fact it was the complete opposite. 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: Amy’s podcast ‘What’s the Tea Amy?’ is out now The Testaments, a new Hulu original series, streaming April 8 exclusively on Disney+ Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com 📚 WANT MORE? Lily Allen - on early fame, mistakes, relationships and motherhood: swap.fm/l/8Otj3tpmbH5SF4xjVHTJ Gillian Anderson - on body image, rebellion and refusing to fit in with other people’s expectations: swap.fm/l/7NyZMzkfVOpGyDtlB6k0 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod Website: www.elizabethday.org Elizabeth and Amy answer listener questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan Engineer: Matias Torres Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot Executive Producer: Alex Lawless How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com _________________________________________________________________________ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices [https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices]

ON FINDING THE ONE… With Miranda Hart, Celeste Barber and Glennon Doyle

This is a special episode, sponsored by Bumble, taking a look at all the different ways we can meet someone: whether you meet young, in your 50s, or post-divorce. The three women in this episode (and four if you count me!) - are here to show us that finding the love of your life isn’t always straight-forwards, or linear. First up, you'll hear from the brilliant and hilarious Miranda Hart, who got married when she was 51, and talks through her first date with her now husband. Then Australian comedian Celeste Barber talks about meeting her ‘hot husband’ young, and quickly becoming a step-mum to two young children. Finally, American author Glennon Doyle talks about leaving her marriage for the love of her life, Abby – and co-parenting her three children with her ex-husband in a blended family. I hope this episode brings you as much laughter, reassurance and warmth as each of those guests have brought me. And hopefully it inspires you to refresh your Bumble profile, or download Bumble now! Listen to Miranda’s full episode here: swap.fm/l/oTScN30b80GflJtO4rgu Listen to Celeste’s full episode here: swap.fm/l/qLmwfjyeSolWuFeaHGdt Listen to Glennon’s full episode here: swap.fm/l/Nd3ZzVy73FXUMupJ4i1q 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/ Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @howtofailpod @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod @elizabday Website: www.elizabethday.org Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices [https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices]

Chris Appleton - ‘I Felt Shame Before I Felt Love’

Celebrity hair stylist Chris Appleton has a slew of devoted clients including Kim Kardashian, Kris Jenner and Martha Stewart, as well as millions of Instagram followers and a regular slot offering advice on The Drew Barrymore Show. His memoir, Your Roots Don’t Define You, is a New York Times bestseller. But growing up was hard on Appleton: he was the middle of five children and struggled with undiagnosed dyslexia at school. He was bullied by his classmates for being gay - something he didn’t yet understand about himself. At 16, he left school to work full-time and began a serious relationship with his colleague, Kate. By 19, he was a father. In this episode we discuss imposter syndrome, the darkest moments of his life, shame and the work he’s done to overcome the hurdles he’s faced. And, of course, we talk about the Kardashians. ✨ IN THIS EPISODE: 02:33 Imposter Syndrome as Fuel 04:24 Red Carpets and Online Pressure 05:27 Hair as Celebrity Identity 07:15 Memoir and Health Wake Up 08:48 Dash the Dog and Comfort 11:02 Shame Coming Out and Healing 22:26 Kids First After Divorce 23:05 Holiday Triggers and Boundaries 24:31 Success Doesn't Heal 25:18 Inner Child Healing Work 27:22 Envy Into Mentorship 30:08 Kardashians on Failure 31:25 Hair Identity and Change 35:18 Comparison and Social Media 💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER: It’s okay to make mistakes, but I love learning from them and understanding why we make those decisions. Hair is such a big part of people's identity. It tells who you are. You can externally excite yourself... But if you're not aligned internally, you still have that sad and lonely feeling. I think imposter syndrome to an extent is healthy... It keeps me turning up to jobs prepared. I treat every job like it's the first time I've done it. 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: Chris Appleton’s book Your Roots Don’t Define You, is out now Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com 📚 WANT MORE? Rylan Clark - on public breakdowns, surviving divorce and rebuilding his sense of self. Dawn French - on comedy, adoption and finding confidence later in life. 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod Website: www.elizabethday.org Elizabeth and Chris answer listener questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan Engineer: Matias Torres Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot Executive Producer: Alex Lawless How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com _________________________________________________________________________ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices [https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices]

Mel Schilling - ‘She was the embodiment of vibrant life’

I never thought I would have to write these words, but here we are. In the wake of my dear friend’s passing, I wanted to reflect on the life of one of the most radiant people I’ve ever met: Mel Schilling. I never quite understood the truth of the phrase ‘she lights up a room’ until I met Mel. It wasn’t just the sparkling smile or the sequins she loved wearing or the glittery eyeshadow; it was deeper than that: she wanted others to shine, to feel special and to be loved. To believe themselves worthy of love. To be in Mel’s company was to feel anything was possible.  I wanted to re-release this very special episode of How to Fail because it shows so much of the woman she was. It was also the first time I met Mel in person after admiring her for years from afar on our TV screens. I’m so lucky to have known her. Please enjoy getting to know my friend Mel. And if you want to hear more of her extraordinary insights and wisdom, you can listen to her on How To Date [link here: swap.fm/l/92EWhbCOZtcpVjwW1ZhD [http://swap.fm/l/92EWhbCOZtcpVjwW1ZhD]].  👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: * Instagram: @elizabday * TikTok: @howtofailpod * Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod * Website: www.elizabethday.org [http://www.elizabethday.org/] Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com [https://eur01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fhowtofailpod.com%2F&data=05%7C02%7Cselina.ream%40sonymusic.com%7Cdd135e6134ee46dda37d08dd30946d82%7Cf0aff3b791a54aaeaf71c63e1dda2049%7C0%7C0%7C638720136262152614%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJFbXB0eU1hcGkiOnRydWUsIlYiOiIwLjAuMDAwMCIsIlAiOiJXaW4zMiIsIkFOIjoiTWFpbCIsIldUIjoyfQ%3D%3D%7C0%7C%7C%7C&sdata=ylvFf%2BMlZqcAdAfB2kA%2BGV9wGSpHwGHxy0TONLF81jE%3D&reserved=0]  How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production.   Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts [https://eur01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fsonymusic.com%2Fpodcasts&data=05%7C02%7Cselina.ream%40sonymusic.com%7Cdd135e6134ee46dda37d08dd30946d82%7Cf0aff3b791a54aaeaf71c63e1dda2049%7C0%7C0%7C638720136262176868%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJFbXB0eU1hcGkiOnRydWUsIlYiOiIwLjAuMDAwMCIsIlAiOiJXaW4zMiIsIkFOIjoiTWFpbCIsIldUIjoyfQ%3D%3D%7C0%7C%7C%7C&sdata=Lz%2FmHpu%2BB9nDllDXAbNEQ3y%2F0EBw1NOYL33v7QSnD4U%3D&reserved=0] To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com [podcastadsales@sonymusic.com] _________________________________________________________________________ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices [https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices]

ON STARTING OVER AFTER GRIEF… With Stanley Tucci and Geri Halliwell-Horner

Starting over can feel heartbreaking and overwhelming, especially after losing a loved one, and the idea of rebuilding a life can seem impossible. In this episode, Stanley and Geri show us that sometimes moving forward isn’t about letting go of the past, but learning to carry it with you in a way that allows life to continue. Stanley Tucci speaks with brave honesty about the death of his first wife, Kate – the guilt he felt as he tried to move on and the difficult choices he faced while creating a new life for his children. Geri Halliwell Horner reflects on losing her father as a teenager, how that loss shaped her ambition and how writing her novel unexpectedly helped her make sense of long‑held grief. This episode explores love, loss and the resilience that allows us to keep going after such events. I hope it brings you a sense of solidarity or confirmation that we don’t need to erase what came before; sometimes, it becomes the very force that helps us begin again. Listen to Stanley’s full episode of How to Fail here: http://swap.fm/l/WCW054IGNZnSnTzEXPTN Listen to Geri’s full episode of How to Fail here: swap.fm/l/a7i32bvmHld3JFuDmShl 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: Bereavement support: https://www.cruse.org.uk/ Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/ Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @howtofailpod @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod @elizabday Website: www.elizabethday.org Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices [https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices]