Morning Mayhem

S5.E109: The 13th, London Soup, PI Day, Chromebook Health Check, Therapy Dog, K-Pop Demon Hunters Returns, Napiello 1312, Boys Win

ZOWIE, Woodland! It’s Friday the 13th—watch out for black cats, broken mirrors, and bowls of pea soup! That’s just 19th-century London talk for the 30-degree fog we’re shivering in today. Brrr! Hold onto your hats because it’s PIE YOUR TEACHER DAY! Poor Amato is taking a whipped cream blast to the face for Kindness Week, right after we sniff out the brand-new therapy dog! Don’t let your Chromebooks die or the tech gremlins win—get those health checks done! In the big wide world, China is pushing for unity across 55 ethnic groups, and—OMG—K-pop Demon Hunters is getting a sequel! Honda’s singing the EV blues, but Woodland is singing VICTORY! Our boys basketball team SMASHED Griswold 76-55! John Napiello is officially the King of the Court, breaking the all-time scoring record with over 1,312 points! Ean Pringle was dishing out "dimes" like a magical candy machine. Stay lucky, keep those laptops charged, and watch out for flying pies! WOO-HOO!

S5.E108: Foggy Morning, Etymology, Chromebook Health, Be Kind, Moon Fuel, AI Bots Social Life, More Flags

Welcome to Woodland, where the morning fog is described as "pea soup," because apparently, we all agree fog is famously thick and green and delicious. If you aren't busy debating the etymology of "Bob’s your uncle," you’re likely checking if your Chromebook still has all its keys so you can survive the online SATs. It’s also "Be Kind Week," so try to find someone to compliment, assuming you can find something nice to say. In the wider world, we’re dumping 400 million oil barrels to lower gas prices, while NASA hunts for moon ice to fuel our escape from Earth. The pinnacle of innovation is "Moltbook," a social network where AI bots like Siri and Gemini can finally gather to talk smack about their users' inability to do simple math . Ironically, new AI weather models use 21 times less energy to deliver the same mediocre accuracy we've come to expect. On the flag front, Arkansas is considering AI-generated designs that are, predictably, "no bueno". Finally, the boys basketball team faces the Griswold Wolverines—whose mascot is named "The Grizz"—is the round of eight at home. As for mascot names, we search for the etymology of "Harry the Hawk".

S5.E107: Weather Chocolate, Kindness Week, PI Day Celebrations, JR SAT Reward, AI Awakens, Swim 6th States

Good morning, Woodland. This is your captain from the flight deck on this Wednesday, March 11th. We’re enjoying a smooth 75 degrees today, but as any seasoned navigator knows, New England weather is a box of chocolates; expect a 40-degree drop by Friday. Our flight path includes Kindness Week and Pi Day celebrations, featuring a fundraiser to "pie" the faculty this Friday the 13th. For our juniors, maintain your course; an SAT score of 530 or higher provides a clear descent past math final exams. On the global horizon, we’re tracking major shifts: the UK is phasing out hereditary peers, while Algeria is formalizing legal responsibility for its colonial past We’re also monitoring tech-sector turbulence, ranging from AI procurement errors in Newfoundland to state debates over data center costs and the potential consciousness of new AI models. In sports, our swim team safely landed a sixth-place finish in states. Meanwhile, Team USA faces heavy headwinds in the World Baseball Classic after a historic upset by Italy Charge your gear, stay sharp, and prepare for arrival. It's a privilege to have you on board.

S5.E106: Return to Air, DST, Forecast, Be Kind, Therapy Dog, Rising Gas Prices, Boys Basketball Strong State Start

On Tuesday, March 10th, Woodland Regional High School hosts Amato, Tomlin, and Decker returned to the air following Amato's "under the weatherness". The broadcast highlighted the transition to Daylight Savings Time and a volatile weather forecast, predicting a drop from 70° today to potential snow by Thursday. School announcements featured "Be Kind Week" events, including today’s friendship bracelet party and an upcoming therapy dog visit. Global news reports discussed a proposed Connecticut bill regulating grocery self-checkouts, Australia’s new age verification laws for social media, and rising oil prices In sports, Woodland’s boys basketball defeated Watertown 80-53, and the UConn women celebrated their 24th Big East Championship. Additionally, the Miami Dolphins made headlines for incurring nearly $93 million in "dead cap" money The show concluded with trivia, identifying Hamden High School's mascot as the Green Dragons.

S5.E105: Driving Contract, Dyna-Mic, Door Decorating, Human Robots, Swim and Girls and Boys Basketball States

GOOD MORNING, WOODLAND! It’s Friday, March 6th, and the Morning Mayhem is officially taking over! Buckle up for an early dismissal day—blocks are just 55 minutes, so get to class fast and grab your lunch at 11:10! Get ready for Dyna-Mic Night on March 12th featuring original songs and pop culture scenes—like Superbad—reimagined in Shakespearean lingo! Don't forget the book-themed door decorating contest and the Paint and a Snack event for Women’s History Month on March 24th! Attention juniors: score a 530+ on your math SAT and you're exempt from your finals! In global news, extinct marsupials have been rediscovered in Australia, and China is launching $1,400 humanoid robots to handle your chores! Meanwhile, Nepal sees historic elections following youth-led revolts! To the sports desk: Good luck to our swimmers at state trials tonight! Girls basketball battles rival Naugatuck tomorrow, and the boys host their tournament game Monday! Finally, congrats to the trivia masters—the Maloney Spartans are indeed green! Charge those Chromebooks, follow us on Spotify, and stay wild, Woodland!