That's Where I'm At

EP 64: Gray Rock & Glow Up with Julie Danielson: Rebuilding Life After a Toxic Marriage

In this episode of "That's Where I'm At," host Laura welcomes Julie Danielson—Life Coach, author, host of the "Get Over Divorce" podcast, and creator of the "Get Over Divorce Collective," a coaching program that helps women heal powerfully and create a life they love after divorce. Julie discusses healing after divorce, especially from narcissistic relationships, sharing her personal journey and the challenges of co-parenting with a toxic ex. She offers practical strategies like setting boundaries and using the Gray Rock Method. Together, they emphasize the importance of self-care, supportive communities, and rediscovering joy after trauma. Listeners are encouraged to reclaim their self-worth, embrace new experiences, and connect with resources for ongoing support and empowerment. Key Topics & Timestamps Julie's Divorce Story (00:02:18) Julie shares her background, early marriage, and the personal journey leading to her divorce. Personal Growth After Divorce (00:06:33) Julie discusses her self-improvement, career growth, and the decision to end her marriage. Co-Parenting and Divorce Logistics (00:07:57) Julie explains the divorce process, co-parenting arrangements, and how clear agreements helped. Empowered Dating and Self-Worth (00:11:32) Laura and Julie reflect on dating with self-worth, authenticity, and not shape-shifting for others. How Julie Became a Divorce Coach (00:13:25) Julie describes her journey into coaching, the importance of authentic connections, and building her program. Julie's Second Marriage and Continued Growth (00:15:44) Julie shares meeting her current husband, the growth within a healthy relationship, and career transitions. Building a Coaching Business (00:17:39) Julie talks about starting her coaching business, focusing on helping women through divorce. Narcissistic Abuse vs. "Regular" Divorce (00:18:51) Discussion on the differences between divorcing a narcissist and a typical divorce, and the prevalence of narcissistic abuse. Losing Friends and Outgrowing Social Circles (00:26:31) They discuss how healing and setting boundaries can lead to losing friends who thrived on drama. Neuroplasticity and Healing the Brain (00:35:25) Discussion on how trying new things helps heal the brain after abuse and builds new neural pathways. Advice for Women Newly Divorced (00:37:11) Julie shares the "gray rock" method for dealing with toxic or narcissistic exes and minimizing emotional responses. Turning the Tables on the Narcissist (00:40:09) How gray rocking annoys narcissists and helps reclaim personal power. Handling Provocations and Staying Factual (00:41:42) Advice on not justifying or explaining yourself, sticking to facts, and not reacting to provocations. Powerful Quotes from the Episode Julie, 'As you grow and change, you are reaching new levels.' Julie, 'You don't need that drama in your life. Drama is life-sucking, and drama is what the narcissist surrounds himself with.' Julie, 'Your brain just expanded and you created a new neurotransmitter that says, "Oh, I can do this."' Laura, 'I'm good. And I do not ever have to acknowledge it because I've done too much work. I'm worth more than that. And so I will gray rock my life away.' RESOURCES: * COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura [https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura] * SELF WORTH RESET MINI COURSE: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/minicourse [https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/minicourse] * YOU'RE NOT CRAZY ebook: GET IT HERE [http://laurarichpodcast.gumroad.com/l/notcrazyebook] * MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE [https://www.amazon.com/author/laurarichards] * JOIN THE HEALING GROUP: https://www.patreon.com/c/thatswhereimatpodcast [https://www.patreon.com/c/thatswhereimatpodcast] CONNECT WITH JULIE: * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/juliedanielson.CHAT [https://www.facebook.com/juliedanielson.CHAT] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/juliedanielson_coaching/ [https://www.instagram.com/juliedanielson_coaching/] * TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@getoverdivorcecoach [https://www.tiktok.com/@getoverdivorcecoach] * Book a free Divorce Breakthrough Session with me, I will help you uncover some blocks and blind spots so you can breakthrough to your next level of healing faster. https://www.getoverdivorce.com/schedule [https://www.getoverdivorce.com/schedule] * Laura on Julie's podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/144-husbands-behind-a-mask/id1511048997?i=1000659284917 [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/144-husbands-behind-a-mask/id1511048997?i=1000659284917] * The Gray Rock Method https://psychcentral.com/health/grey-rock-method [https://psychcentral.com/health/grey-rock-method] "Boundaries aren't walls—they're bridges back to yourself." Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com [https://resilientvoicemedia.com/] Contact us for expert podcast production and support.

EP 63: Your Money, Your Voice: How to Reclaim Control After Divorce with Rhonda Noordyk

In this episode of "That's Where I'm At," host Laura talks with Rhonda, a financial coach and advocate for women navigating divorce. Once someone who avoided conflict, Rhonda transformed her communication skills through therapy and education, turning her personal challenges into a mission to help other women find their voice and financial confidence. With over 17,000 hours of experience, 565 clients served, and $20 million secured for women, Rhonda brings both expertise and empathy to her work. A former financial advisor, she recognized that women facing divorce need more than advice—they need strategic and emotional support to rebuild their lives. Laura and Rhonda explore the realities of financial abuse, lack of access to information, and the emotional toll of divorce. Rhonda also shares her CIA framework—Communication, Integrity, and Advocacy—to help women make informed decisions and achieve lasting financial independence. Key Topics & Timestamps Transition to Financial Industry (00:05:20) Rhonda discusses entering the financial industry and encountering both support and dysfunction. Founding Women's Financial Wellness Center (00:06:40) Rhonda explains why she started her business and her holistic approach to financial coaching. Challenging Gender Stereotypes in Finance (00:11:29) Laura and Rhonda discuss outdated views about women and money, and the importance of empowerment. Strategies for Uncovering Hidden Assets (00:15:11) Rhonda shares investigative strategies for finding hidden assets and the importance of asking the right questions. Manipulation in Divorce Settlements (00:20:50) Laura and Rhonda discuss manipulation, gaslighting, and the importance of advocating for fair settlements. Real-Life Impact of Divorce on Lifestyle (00:24:19) Rhonda explains the 41% decrease in lifestyle post-divorce and how to plan for financial changes. Encouraging Proactive Financial Conversations (00:30:29) Advice for women to start asking questions, taking inventory, and reviewing financial documents. Respect and Integrity in Financial Services (00:36:33) Laura and Rhonda discuss the need for respect, integrity, and clear communication from financial professionals. Powerful Quotes from the Episode Rhonda, 'If I can help one woman improve her relationship with money, I've empowered her for a lifetime.' Rhonda, 'We just have to crunch the numbers and see where stuff lands and give women a voice to be able to advocate for what they need.' Rhonda, 'Don't just sign. That's probably my biggest advice. Don't just sign.' Rhonda, 'You don't have to know everything. You just have to be willing to ask questions unapologetically.' Rhonda, 'You create that safety, you create that trust, you know that somebody has your best interests at heart.' RESOURCES: * COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura [https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura] * SELF WORTH RESET MINI COURSE: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/minicourse [https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/minicourse] * YOU'RE NOT CRAZY ebook: GET IT HERE [http://laurarichpodcast.gumroad.com/l/notcrazyebook] * MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE [https://www.amazon.com/author/laurarichards] * FOLLOW THE PODCAST: http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com [http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/] Connect with Rhonda * WEBSITE: https://wfwcdivorce.com/ [https://wfwcdivorce.com/] * Get immediate access to my FREE mini course. https://api.leadconnectorhq.com/widget/form/S4a9NYjourlEQa70zVme [https://api.leadconnectorhq.com/widget/form/S4a9NYjourlEQa70zVme] "Financial freedom begins the moment you find your voice." Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com [https://resilientvoicemedia.com/] Contact us for expert podcast production and support.

EP 62: Rebuilding After Divorce — Finding Yourself Again with Heidi Bee

In this empowering episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura sits down with Heidi Bee, the Divorce Comeback Coach, to explore the emotional journey of rebuilding life after divorce. Heidi Bee is a certified and trauma-informed divorce coach and somatic breathwork facilitator. Through her 3-month Comeback Course & Coaching Community, she helps women navigate their "new normal" by providing the roadmap, resources, and relationships needed to move forward with confidence. She's also the host of the Divorce Comeback Coach podcast, where she shares truth-telling conversations and practical guidance to help women take their next best step toward the life they deserve and desire. In this heartfelt conversation, Laura and Heidi open up about: * The feelings of isolation, grief, and identity loss that often follow divorce — especially after long-term or toxic relationships. * The importance of self-care, setting healthy boundaries, and rebuilding community during recovery. * How embracing vulnerability and self-compassion can lead to powerful transformation and growth. Together, they remind listeners that while the road to healing may be difficult, it is also filled with opportunities for renewal, empowerment, and rediscovery of one's true self. Key Topics & Timestamps Heidi's Divorce Story and the "Divorce Ditch" (00:03:06) Heidi shares her personal experience of feeling lost and stuck after divorce, describing it as the "divorce ditch." Coping Mechanisms and Avoidance (00:06:41) Heidi describes unhealthy coping mechanisms she used to avoid pain, such as overworking and numbing behaviors. Shame, Stigma, and the Need for Conversation (00:08:28) Exploring the shame and societal stigma around divorce, and the importance of open conversations. Coaching, Dreaming, and Finding Your Voice (00:17:28) Laura and Heidi discuss the role of coaching in helping women dream again and reclaim their voices. Relationship with Uncertainty and Healing (00:25:45) Learning to manage uncertainty, calm the nervous system, and develop new tools for emotional regulation. Attracting Healthy Relationships Through Self-Love (00:31:37) Heidi shares how self-love and authenticity attract healthier relationships, both romantic and platonic. Protecting Emotional Energy and Reclaiming Space (00:40:48) Heidi emphasizes protecting your emotional landscape and reclaiming energy from unhealthy attachments. Making a "Shit List" and Tracking Emotional Impact (00:44:52) Using a list to remember the negative impacts of an ex and tracking emotional responses to avoid repeating pain. Powerful Quotes from the Episode Heidi, 'I didn't want to admit I was depressed, but I was grieving and resisting it.' Heidi, 'I woke up one day thinking, I don't even know who I am anymore.' Laura, 'You deserve to trust your gut again. Spoiler alert: you were never the problem.' Laura, 'I started my podcast and realized no one ever let me talk.' Heidi, 'Recovery is self-discovery, and I forgot to continue to decide who I was going to be.' Heidi, 'It's more about trusting yourself, trusting that no matter what happens, you can handle it.' Heidi, 'I want people to know you don't have to be afraid of not knowing who you are. All that is, is uncertainty.' Heidi, 'The more I let go of things that no longer serve me, the more I have space to receive what is.' RESOURCES: * COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura [https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura] * SELF WORTH RESET MINI COURSE: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/minicourse [https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/minicourse] * YOU'RE NOT CRAZY ebook: GET IT HERE [http://laurarichpodcast.gumroad.com/l/notcrazyebook] * MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE [https://www.amazon.com/author/laurarichards] * FOLLOW THE PODCAST: http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com [http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/] Connect with Heidi * WEBSITE: https://divorcecomebackcoach.com/ [https://divorcecomebackcoach.com/] * INSTAGRAM: @DivorceComebackCoach [https://www.instagram.com/divorcecomebackcoach/] * TIK TOK: @DivorceComebackCoach [https://www.tiktok.com/@divorcecomebackcoach?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc] * Freebies & More: https://linktr.ee/DivorceComebackCoach [https://linktr.ee/DivorceComebackCoach] * Divorce Comeback Coach Podcast - Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/4jLp05yjoQNYPDhRtMyyI1?si=7839ca2c923c4a8e] / Apple [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/divorce-comeback-coach/id1486352885?ign-itscg=30200&ign-itsct=lt_p] "The more you let go of what's gone, the more space you create for what's meant for you." Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com [https://resilientvoicemedia.com/] Contact us for expert podcast production and support.

EP 61: The Power of Sobriety & Self-Discovery with Kate Vitela

In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura sits down with Kate, a nurse of more than 20 years and a personal development coach, to talk about sobriety, self-worth, and healing after narcissistic relationships. Together, they explore how alcohol, food, and limiting beliefs can leave women vulnerable to toxic dynamics—and how breaking free requires courage, boundaries, and a new story. Kate shares her personal journey of getting sober, healing from toxic relationships, and reclaiming her power through coaching and self-discovery. With a focus on mental health and sobriety in her nursing career, Kate now runs a private practice helping women move past numbing behaviors and self-defeating patterns so they can step into their divine purpose. This heartfelt conversation offers practical strategies, hope, and encouragement for women ready to rewrite their narratives, reclaim their worth, and create healthier, more authentic lives. Key Topics & Timestamps Alcohol, Vulnerability, and Narcissistic Relationships (00:03:14) Kate explains how heavy drinking made her vulnerable to narcissistic partners and losing her sense of self. Drinking's Impact on Women (00:06:33) Discussion on how alcohol affects women differently and the societal normalization of drinking. Boundaries and Coaching Women (00:14:42) The importance of boundaries, self-sabotage, and how Kate coaches women to recognize and address these issues. Gaslighting and Reclaiming Sanity (00:19:44) Laura and Kate discuss gaslighting in narcissistic relationships and the importance of trusting your gut. Losing and Gaining Friends in Sobriety (00:28:48) Kate and Laura talk about losing old friends and gaining more authentic connections after getting sober. Love Bombing, Alcohol, and the Nervous System (00:37:19) How love bombing and alcohol both create emotional highs and lows, destabilizing women in toxic relationships. Coaching vs. Therapy: The House Painting Analogy (00:41:51) Kate explains the difference between coaching and therapy, using the analogy of missing a spot while painting. Kate's Coaching Practice (00:49:33) Kate describes her coaching services, approach, and how women can work with her for personal development and sobriety. Powerful Quotes from the Episode "Nobody plans on being an alcoholic; it's a very insidious drug that creeps up on us." - Kate "Give yourself permission to question your relationships when you get sober." - Kate "Alcohol only fuels your anxiety, and your superpower is getting really clear." - Kate "Go where you are celebrated, not tolerated." - Kate "A lot of healing has to do with just discovering our own power through sobriety." - Kate RESOURCES: * COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura [https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura] * SELF WORTH RESET MINI COURSE: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/minicourse [https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/minicourse] * YOU'RE NOT CRAZY ebook: GET IT HERE [http://laurarichpodcast.gumroad.com/l/notcrazyebook] * MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE [https://www.amazon.com/author/laurarichards] * FOLLOW THE PODCAST: http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com [http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/] Connect with Kate * https://kate-vitela.mykajabi.com/rewired-sober-coaching-program [https://kate-vitela.mykajabi.com/rewired-sober-coaching-program] * https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61577139306055 [https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61577139306055] * https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/ [https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/] * https://www.tiktok.com/@rewired.sober [https://www.tiktok.com/@rewired.sober] * https://www.youtube.com/@rewiredsober [https://www.youtube.com/@rewiredsober] * https://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-vitela-carn-nc-bc-a9240721/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-vitela-carn-nc-bc-a9240721/] Sobriety is where self-worth begins, and healing truly takes root. Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com [https://resilientvoicemedia.com/] Contact us for expert podcast production and support.

EP 60: Reclaiming Your Power After Narcissistic Abuse with Allison Dagney

In this episode of That's Where I'm At, Laura and guest Allison K. Dagney share their experiences of healing after covert narcissistic relationships. They explore the challenges of recognizing emotional abuse, navigating divorce, and rebuilding self-worth through therapy, journaling, and supportive communities. Together, they offer hope and practical tools for women on their own healing journeys. Allison is a best-selling memoirist and emotional abuse recovery coach who helps women rise above toxic cycles and reclaim their strength. After nearly 20 years in a covertly abusive marriage, she transformed her trauma into triumph, later sharing her journey in her books When Tears Leave Scars and Radiate and Rise. Key Topics & Timestamps Laura's Divorce & Realization (00:04:08) Laura recounts her divorce, discovering her ex's infidelity, and the clarity that followed about narcissistic abuse. Leaving a Narcissist: Planning & Survival (00:12:29) They discuss the importance of secret planning, survival mode, and the challenges of leaving an abusive relationship. Financial Abuse & Legal Strategies (00:20:56) Alison explains legal strategies like "status quo" to maintain financial stability during divorce. Finding Peace & Adjusting to Freedom (00:28:06) They discuss the unfamiliar feeling of peace and freedom after leaving an abusive relationship. Writing & Healing: Books and Podcasts (00:33:10) Laura describes her book's structure, the non-linear nature of healing, and the importance of sharing personal stories. Identity Loss & Rediscovery (00:40:23) They explore how abusive relationships cause loss of identity and the process of rediscovering personal interests. Quality Over Quantity in Relationships (00:58:11) They reflect on the value of having a smaller, higher-quality support network after leaving abuse. Powerful Quotes from the Episode "I didn't know the depths of hell that a narcissist can do to you." - Alison "I had to choose me. I'd never chosen me, so I had to choose me.' - Laura "I cried because I was good at something I was never allowed to try, and someone was saying something nice to me." - Laura "I totally did not know what self-love was or how to love myself." - Alison "You have to take the first step, even if you don't see the whole staircase." - Laura "The key to me is boundaries, but you're not going to get there without self-love." - Laura "I am changing in a very good way, but that causes people to walk themselves right out of my life. I don't need those kinds of people anymore." - Alison "People are out there. Your tribe is out there. Unfortunately, you have to let go of the rest to find them." - Laura RESOURCES: * COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura [https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura] * YOU'RE NOT CRAZY, RECLAIMING YOUR SANITY AND SELF-WORTH AFTER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE ebook: GET IT HERE [http://laurarichpodcast.gumroad.com/l/notcrazyebook] * MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE [https://www.amazon.com/author/laurarichards] * FOLLOW THE PODCAST: http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com [http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/] * PRIVATE FACEBOOK SUPPORT GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/marriedtoaniceguy/ [https://www.facebook.com/groups/marriedtoaniceguy/] Connect with Allison * WEBSITE: www.radiatenrise.com [http://www.radiatenrise.com/] * BOOKS: www.allisonkdagney.com [http://www.allisonkdagney.com/] Your past may shape you, but it does not define your future. Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com [https://resilientvoicemedia.com/] Contact us for expert podcast production and support.