Moral Of The Story

30 Korean bachelors compete to find the perfect wife. They will do anything to get married except…   Lift heavy things. Date someone who is not motherly. Date someone who is not naturally beautiful. Date someone who doesn’t support their high risk low reward cryptocurrency investment.   And what do they bring to the table?   A body shaped like a fridge.

“Are they siblings or dating?” It’s a question even the brightest philosophers cannot answer. One Chinese reality show decides to make every single person uncomfortable by bringing in a group of people to live in a mansion together for a month.    The premise is - everyone in the house has a sibling also present. You cannot tell anyone who your sibling is but you must proceed to go on dates with other people while you’re there.    A panel of judges will take a look at everyone’s interactions and question - wait that look that they just shared…. That can only be if they’re interested in each other right? But what if they’re siblings?   Question every relationship you know with the new siblings or dating show from China.

In the Chinese reality show - Lulu is not having a good time.    This is her third chance at love. The first time - a dominant CEO walks in through the bedroom door. Instead of sweeping Lulu off her feet - he starts ranting about how much he earns and how he takes advantage of his airline points…    The second chance at love; the door opens and in walks a man with a fascination with cultural appropriation, staring at Lulu in a way that makes her squirm.    But maybe a third time's the charm? Lulu is patiently waiting for the man of her dreams to walk in with his guitar but instead - she is face to face…with Donald Trump.    What is happening right now?

The couple walk into “divorce court” - a nationally televised divorce proceeding where their air out all their dirty laundry.    Both partners are here to plead their case to the citizens of the nation. Should we divorce or not?   Mimi, the wife, starts sharing her side of the argument. Her husband does nothing all day, he lays around and gets drunk. That’s it. Which… you know, dump him.    But when Bobo, the husband, shares his side of the story suddenly nothing makes sense anymore. He claims there are parasites living in their home and Mimi is obsessed with breeding them. She will let their parasitic tendencies get worse and worse until everyone is ruined….    This is a real life case of - maybe they should stay together. Because they’re perfect for each other. Perfectly horrendous.

For one full year - one of the bigger Chinese influencers disappears. She doesn’t explain that she’s taking a break. She just vanishes from the internet.   Everyone thought something crazy happened to her… until they forget about her.   But now she’s back with an explosive video. She was gone for a year because she gave birth to the child of a billionaire.   But now… he’s refusing to even help pay for baby formula. This is the messiest pregnant announcement in the China-verse. Of course it involves our best friend - Wang Si Cong (the most infamous nepo baby internet fight starter).