Becoming Power

Ep 8 - Reclaiming Intuition as a Valid Way of Knowing

Intuition can manifest as a sudden, sharp knowing or as a slowly dawning certainty.  Regardless of its speed, intuition carries a powerful sense of knowing, signaling us on a deep level, "Hey, pay attention. I have something to say." Intuition is a powerful force rarely spoken about openly. And when it is talked about, intuition is often seen as a vague, almost mystical whisper rather than a credible guide. What if embracing your intuition could lead you to tap into more of your power? What if, instead of dismissing odd symptoms or vivid dreams as mere quirks, you recognized them as valuable messages from your inner self and learned how to decode them?  What if you could refine your intuition so it becomes a helpful guide when you need it most? Today, we’ll explore how we can reclaim this essential part of ourselves and recognize intuition not as a mystical or unreliable force, but as a skill that integrates our most profound wisdom into our everyday lives.  We’ll debunk two harmful myths about intuition and then I’ll guide you through an exercise to help you reclaim your wise, intuitive self. Listen to the full episode to hear: * How our cultural emphasis on rationality and logic disconnects us from our intuition from a young age * Why intuition acts as a complement to, not a competitor of, data and logic * How intuition reflects our experience and ability to recognize patterns in the world around us * How we can compensate for implicit bias in our intuitive thinking * How intuition helps our “emotional radar” and supports our relationships with others and ourselves * A practice of listening to your yes and no to help you tune into your intuition Learn more about Valerie Black: * The Change Agency [https://valerieeblack.com/] * Becoming Power Newsletter [https://becomingpower.substack.com/] * Coaching [https://valerieeblack.com/coaching] Resources: * Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches, Audre Lorde [https://bookshop.org/p/books/sister-outsider-essays-and-speeches-audre-lorde/16589268?ean=9781580911863] * Sources of Power: How People Make Decisions, Gary A. Klein [https://bookshop.org/p/books/sources-of-power-20th-anniversary-edition-how-people-make-decisions-gary-a-klein/11651918?ean=9780262534291] * Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking, Malcolm Gladwell [https://bookshop.org/p/books/blink-the-power-of-thinking-without-thinking-malcolm-gladwell/108638?ean=9780316010665] * Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman [https://bookshop.org/p/books/thinking-fast-and-slow-daniel-kahneman/943943?ean=9780374533557] * Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, Daniel Goleman [https://bookshop.org/p/books/emotional-intelligence-why-it-can-matter-more-than-iq-daniel-goleman/7337549?ean=9780553383713] * The Language of Emotions: What Your Feelings Are Trying to Tell You, Karla McLaren [https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-language-of-emotions-karla-mclaren/6485931?ean=9781649630421]

Ep 7 - Externalizing Intuition: Using Tarot to Come Back to Yourself with Charlie Claire Burgess

This year, I’ve spent a lot of time feeling lost.  Since my layoff, I’ve been planting seeds and imagining myself into many new life shapes, wondering which seeds will take root. This darkness can feel fruitful but can also be disorienting. Recently, sitting in a coffee shop, feeling overwhelmed, a friend said to me, “You already know how to grow, even when you think you don’t.” Could that be true? Deep down, is there a part of me that knows the way? Are we like acorns, carrying a quiet map, guiding our growth, even when the path seems obscured until we become an oak tree? Can I tap into my intuition to help me through this challenging time?  Questions like these led me to ask today’s guest on the podcast. Charlie Claire Burgess is a trans, nonbinary artist, author, and creator of tarot decks and I wanted to ask this excellent maker about their relationship to their inner life and intuition.  Charlie works at the intersection of tarot, spirituality, and queerness and is the author of Radical Tarot and the creator of the Fifth Spirit Tarot and Gay Marseille Tarot decks. Their second book, Queer Devotion: Spirituality Beyond the Binary in Myth, Story, and Practice, is forthcoming in 2025.  Whether you're new to tarot or not, Charlie's insights will inspire you to trust your intuition and take control of your journey of growth and power. Listen to the full episode to hear: * How Charlie started coming back to their spirituality and embracing their true self after years of self-abandonment * How tarot is a tool for externalizing thoughts and feelings to give them new awareness and perspective * What Charlie had to unlearn about work to honor and support their creativity * The practices that help Charlie ground in their spirituality * How tarot can be an opportunity to create agency rather than using Tarot as a predictive tool * Why following your intuition also means permitting yourself to screw up Learn more about Charlie Claire Burgess: * The Word Witch [https://www.thewordwitchtarot.com/] * Instagram: @the.word.witch [https://www.instagram.com/the.word.witch] Learn more about Valerie Black: * The Change Agency [https://valerieeblack.com/] * Becoming Power Newsletter [https://becomingpower.substack.com/] * Coaching [https://valerieeblack.com/coaching]

Ep 6 - Rupture, Repair, and Resilience: A New Take on Perfectionism

After a recent bout of contending with my own perfectionism, I had a profound realization.  Perhaps calling myself a recovering perfectionist is incorrect.  Maybe my perfectionism isn’t something that I need to fix about myself. Perhaps the work is more about recognizing when I’m disconnected from my wise self and deploying the right tools to get back on track. What if we’re all just perfectly imperfect works in progress? And what would it take for us to cultivate deep self-compassion when perfectionism shows up in our lives? Today, I invite you to join me in this investigation of your perfectionism with a heart full of compassion for yourself and the messy, imperfect process we all go through. Through mental rehearsal, or cognitive priming, I’ll lead you on a thought experiment designed to help you loosen your grip on perfectionism and move closer to right-sizing your effort.  This journey is about understanding and supporting yourself through the messy, imperfect process we all go through. (And how we can still get great results along the way!) Listen to the full episode to hear: * Defining the spectrums of perfectionism and perfectionism’s  underlying “promise” * Differentiating between beneficial high standards and stress-inducing patterns and behaviors * The benefits of mentally rehearsing a potential scenario * A thought experiment to help you lower your internal bar and half-ass it Learn more about Valerie Black: * The Change Agency [https://valerieeblack.com/] * Becoming Power Newsletter [https://becomingpower.substack.com/] * Coaching [https://valerieeblack.com/coaching] Resources: * The Multidimensional Perfectionism Scale [https://hewittlab.sites.olt.ubc.ca/files/2014/11/MPS2.pdf] * The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown [https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-gifts-of-imperfection-10th-anniversary-edition-features-a-new-foreword-and-brand-new-tools-brene-brown/17298299?ean=9781616499600] * The Perfection Trap: Embracing the Power of Good Enough, Thomas Curran [https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-perfection-trap-embracing-the-power-of-good-enough/18899081?ean=9781982149536] * The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control: A Path to Peace and Power, Katherine Morgan Schafler [https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-perfectionist-s-guide-to-losing-control-a-path-to-peace-and-power-katherine-morgan-schafler/18417161?ean=9780593329528]

Ep 5 - The Myth of 100%: Embracing Imperfection in Creative Work with Amber Petty

Are you a perfectionist? Has anyone referred to you that way before? As a coach, I understand that the desire to “get it right” plagues most of us in some way. And these tendencies can be especially pernicious when working on something that matters to us a lot. The tug-of-war between our aspirations and our current level of skill or ability can stop us before we even really get started. So when I came across writing instructor Amber Petty’s provocative invitation to half-ass your writing to manage the perfectionism demons, I had to know more. In this episode we delve into Amber’s strategies for dealing with perfectionism, how she learned to reset her internal bar and “half-ass it,” and how this shift in mindset has not only transformed her career but also unleashed her creativity. Amber Petty helps creatives say “yes” to their ideas, get bylines, and build audiences. After 13 years as a professional actor, Amber moved into freelance writing, working for the New York Times, Parade, Bustle, and more. She has also helped over 1000 students get bylines, start writing (for actual money), and begin newsletters to build a platform for their writing careers. Listen to the full episode to hear: * How Amber has learned to question her inner critic and build real self-trust * How she realized that giving 100% all the time wasn’t realistic or even desirable * How she uses deadlines to “outrun” her perfectionist streak * How Amber developed her confidence in her voice and point of view as she started her newsletter and business Learn more about Amber Petty: * Website [https://www.amberpetty.com/] * Instagram: @ambernpetty [https://www.instagram.com/ambernpetty/] Learn more about Valerie Black: * The Change Agency [https://valerieeblack.com/] * Becoming Power Newsletter [https://becomingpower.substack.com/] * Coaching [https://valerieeblack.com/coaching] Resources: * The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown [https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-gifts-of-imperfection-10th-anniversary-edition-features-a-new-foreword-and-brand-new-tools-brene-brown/17298299?ean=9781616499600]

Ep 4 - Pleasure & Rest: Creating a Menu of Refuge

There’s a lot of talk out there about self-care and rest.  We all experience stress and dysregulation in this world, and rest is essential for our emotional and physical well-being. Yet sometimes, when we’re stressed and agitated, it can be challenging to realize that we desperately need a break and even harder to figure out how to do that. This is where one of my favorite tools comes in: the Menu of Refuge. Today, I want to share what refuge is, why you need and deserve it, and how to empower yourself by creating your own personal Menu of Refuge. Listen to the full episode to hear: * Defining refuge, literally and metaphorically, and why it’s more than simply retreating from the world * How a Menu of Refuge helps us take positive steps to resolve stress and dysregulation * How refuge addresses our fundamental biological need for emotional and physical safety * Why refuge also needs a sense of growth, wonder, or expansion * How refuge restores our sense of dignity and self-worth * How to craft your own list of activities and places that serve as refuge for you Learn more about Valerie Black: * The Change Agency [https://valerieeblack.com/] * Becoming Power Newsletter [https://becomingpower.substack.com/] * Coaching [https://valerieeblack.com/coaching]