Family Dialogues

Parental Burnout Signs: Why You Feel Angry, Exhausted & Overwhelmed | Claire Plumbly

Burnout is more than feeling tired. For many parents, it can look like snapping at their children, feeling emotionally numb, struggling to make decisions, doomscrolling, overshopping, or moving through the day on autopilot.   In this episode of Family Dialogues, Dr. Claire Plumbly, registered clinical psychologist, trauma expert, EMDR consultant, and author of Burnout: How to Manage Your Nervous System Before It Manages You, explains how chronic stress affects the nervous system and why so many modern parents feel overwhelmed. Dr. Plumbly breaks down the key signs of parental burnout. She also explains the difference between normal stress, chronic stress, and toxic stress, and how unmanaged stress can push parents into survival mode.  This conversation explores the hidden risk factors that contribute to burnout. Dr. Plumbly also shares practical tools for nervous system regulation. Whether you are a working mother, overwhelmed parent, or caregiver feeling stretched thin, this episode offers compassionate, practical guidance to help you recognize burnout, protect your mental health, and rebuild patience, connection, and emotional balance at home. MENTIONED RESOURCES & PROGRAMS * Dr. Claire Plumbly’s book: [https://www.amazon.com/Trauma-Burnout-Manage-Nervous-Manages/dp/0306836319/ref=sr_1_1?crid=QX4OP7BDESVK&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.UGS1tCP660BxR5Y_GSnxpYaia9CWQBqJjEPdWMesVOPGjHj071QN20LucGBJIEps.K_usjS4p52plhSuVIxOiDOSKVrvbseoGMGb5U76RJHM&dib_tag=se&keywords=claire+plumbly&qid=1779000354&sprefix=claire+plumbly%2Caps%2C285&sr=8-1]  [https://www.amazon.com/Trauma-Burnout-Manage-Nervous-Manages/dp/0306836319/ref=sr_1_1?crid=QX4OP7BDESVK&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.UGS1tCP660BxR5Y_GSnxpYaia9CWQBqJjEPdWMesVOPGjHj071QN20LucGBJIEps.K_usjS4p52plhSuVIxOiDOSKVrvbseoGMGb5U76RJHM&dib_tag=se&keywords=claire+plumbly&qid=1779000354&sprefix=claire+plumbly%2Caps%2C285&sr=8-1]Burnout: How to Manage Your Nervous System Before It Manages You [https://www.amazon.com/Trauma-Burnout-Manage-Nervous-Manages/dp/0306836319/ref=sr_1_1?crid=QX4OP7BDESVK&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.UGS1tCP660BxR5Y_GSnxpYaia9CWQBqJjEPdWMesVOPGjHj071QN20LucGBJIEps.K_usjS4p52plhSuVIxOiDOSKVrvbseoGMGb5U76RJHM&dib_tag=se&keywords=claire+plumbly&qid=1779000354&sprefix=claire+plumbly%2Caps%2C285&sr=8-1] * Plum Psychology [https://www.plum-psychology.com/] * Instagram: [https://www.instagram.com/drclaireplumbly/] Dr. Claire Plumbly [https://www.instagram.com/drclaireplumbly/] * Facebook: [https://www.facebook.com/DrClairePlumbly] Dr. Claire Plumbly [https://www.facebook.com/DrClairePlumbly] * TikTok: [https://www.tiktok.com/@drclaireplumbly?lang=en] Dr. Claire Plumbly [https://www.tiktok.com/@drclaireplumbly?lang=en] Podcast feedback: info@tanieshaburke.com

Why Parents Snap: Polyvagal Theory, Parenting Triggers & Co-Regulation | Deb Dana

In this episode of Family Dialogues, Dr. Taniesha Burke speaks with Deb Dana, author of Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory, about how parents can better understand stress, emotional dysregulation, tantrums, shutdowns, anger, anxiety, people-pleasing, and conflict through the lens of polyvagal theory.  Deb explains how the autonomic nervous system scans for safety and danger, why parents may snap, shut down, or feel overwhelmed, and how learning to “befriend” the nervous system can help families move from reactivity to connection.  Together, they explore practical ways parents can support co-regulation during meltdowns, strengthen emotional regulation through small daily “glimmer” practices, repair after rupture, and create more emotional safety with children and partners. This episode is especially helpful for parents who want to understand their triggers, respond more calmly to tantrums and bedtime battles, improve family communication, and raise children who can recognize and regulate their own emotions. IN THIS EPISODE You’ll learn: * What polyvagal theory is and why it matters for parents * How the nervous system responds to safety, stress, conflict, and overwhelm * The difference between fight, flight, shutdown, collapse, appeasement, and fawning * Why children cannot learn lessons when they are dysregulated * How parents can use co-regulation during tantrums and meltdowns * Why “calm down” often does not work * How glimmers, gratitude, and curiosity can strengthen regulation * How couples can understand mismatched nervous system responses * Why rupture and repair are essential for secure family relationships * How to teach children emotional regulation by modeling it yourself RECOMMENDED RESOURCES * Deb Dana’s website: [https://www.rhythmofregulation.com/about]Rhythm of Regulation [https://www.rhythmofregulation.com/about] * Deb Dana’s book: [https://www.amazon.com/Anchored-Befriend-Nervous-System-Polyvagal/dp/1683647068/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2DNXX9KMHPRHZ&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.pjl3d4Gix607UsFioD_LFquQfBBC1whoYvEV7cFcoirTI4UP7uQbGDPH4yl0L5Zk2ZnYWxl_TR7xN98G4mOWiHi74AvC5Ei9d5BiVZZmXU2ErkNWsV4_3YMZ4EuJ5bAThY6tlPtnpqB1_Z4SLQGVptfZWDIfyg5FW5JvclAYWgY.tRCkkpsSORsTTaSBh1CkpCGVW4omzhtVN_TOuReEugE&dib_tag=se&keywords=Anchored%3A+How+to+Befriend+Your+Nervous&qid=1778305976&sprefix=anchored+how+to+befriend+your+nervous+%2Caps%2C301&sr=8-1]Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory [https://www.amazon.com/Anchored-Befriend-Nervous-System-Polyvagal/dp/1683647068/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2DNXX9KMHPRHZ&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.pjl3d4Gix607UsFioD_LFquQfBBC1whoYvEV7cFcoirTI4UP7uQbGDPH4yl0L5Zk2ZnYWxl_TR7xN98G4mOWiHi74AvC5Ei9d5BiVZZmXU2ErkNWsV4_3YMZ4EuJ5bAThY6tlPtnpqB1_Z4SLQGVptfZWDIfyg5FW5JvclAYWgY.tRCkkpsSORsTTaSBh1CkpCGVW4omzhtVN_TOuReEugE&dib_tag=se&keywords=Anchored%3A+How+to+Befriend+Your+Nervous&qid=1778305976&sprefix=anchored+how+to+befriend+your+nervous+%2Caps%2C301&sr=8-1] * Polyvagal Institute [https://www.polyvagalinstitute.org/] * Deb Dana’s  [https://www.rhythmofregulation.com/events-training]Rhythm of Regulation clinical training series [https://www.rhythmofregulation.com/events-training] * Deb Dana’s books and cards on [https://www.amazon.com/stores/Deborah-A.-Dana/author/B077GWLCG3?ref=ap_rdr&shoppingPortalEnabled=true&ccs_id=85f29138-a22a-406c-bcd9-f462ab808225]Amazon [https://www.amazon.com/stores/Deborah-A.-Dana/author/B077GWLCG3?ref=ap_rdr&shoppingPortalEnabled=true&ccs_id=85f29138-a22a-406c-bcd9-f462ab808225]   Podcast feedback: info@tanieshaburke.com

How to Raise Confident Girls Who Set Boundaries & Trust Themselves | Kate Rope

In this powerful episode of Family Dialogues, Dr. Burke speaks with award-winning journalist and author Kate Rope about how parents can raise girls who trust themselves, set healthy boundaries, express emotions safely, and grow into confident, self-aware young women. Kate shares why the elementary years, ages 5–12, are such a critical window for building a girl’s confidence, agency, emotional resilience, and body autonomy. She explains how small everyday parenting choices such as allowing girls to make decisions, say no to unwanted hugs, express anger, and listen to their instincts can shape lifelong self-trust. This conversation also explores the pressure girls face to be “nice,” accommodating, and pleasing, and why parents must create a home where difficult emotions such as anger, sadness, and disappointment are safe to express. Kate offers practical language parents can use to support emotional regulation without dismissing or shaming their daughters. The episode also addresses body image, social media, online safety, father-daughter relationships, and how caregivers can help girls understand that their bodies are not for judgment, performance, or approval, but for living, feeling, moving, and protecting them. Listeners will walk away with practical tools for raising confident, emotionally healthy, independent, and grounded girls. IN THIS EPISODE You’ll hear about: * Why girls need to learn self-trust before adolescence * How parents can help girls express anger in healthy ways * Why “you’re the boss of your body” should start early * How to teach girls boundaries without guilt or shame * Why forced hugs can send the wrong message about consent * How social media affects girls’ body image and mental health * Why listening, pausing, and asking better questions builds agency * What fathers raising daughters need to understand about girls’ lived experiences * How parents can repair mistakes and model healthy self-advocacy RECOMMENDED RESOURCES & PLATFORMS TO HYPERLINK * Kate Rope’s website: [https://katerope.com/]KateRope.com [https://katerope.com/] * Book: [https://www.amazon.com/Strong-As-Girl-Raising-Themselves/dp/1250904773/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2CBD8CGBUWN1P&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.R8x2cfG1yH_yaF7HaacHQ5U3kiY2X1Ycr2Whr3TFajCpoYQiGa57Py5f4uJLn45IcgE_P4-Z65G3CfcmDhiyqpu3mxhbGVcCmq27xvmk6sILuvmSdjsu4guWs_rwvwA2WtfvLfxYDJpX_I9TJDfRBvrd3QGv53Cgqv4NKG_PI0UUAp30l52f4uegqBp9xGOVk972wdsAH30DTwmfVJBW3eR0cfyZfAH8ZIMSwIhrmkU.h2nhi-AXSWtJ-cEoBkyWN4cK5Nq0eTEYFwnpAsAODlM&dib_tag=se&keywords=kate+rope&qid=1777899994&sprefix=kate+rope%2Caps%2C223&sr=8-1]Strong as a Girl [https://www.amazon.com/Strong-As-Girl-Raising-Themselves/dp/1250904773/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2CBD8CGBUWN1P&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.R8x2cfG1yH_yaF7HaacHQ5U3kiY2X1Ycr2Whr3TFajCpoYQiGa57Py5f4uJLn45IcgE_P4-Z65G3CfcmDhiyqpu3mxhbGVcCmq27xvmk6sILuvmSdjsu4guWs_rwvwA2WtfvLfxYDJpX_I9TJDfRBvrd3QGv53Cgqv4NKG_PI0UUAp30l52f4uegqBp9xGOVk972wdsAH30DTwmfVJBW3eR0cfyZfAH8ZIMSwIhrmkU.h2nhi-AXSWtJ-cEoBkyWN4cK5Nq0eTEYFwnpAsAODlM&dib_tag=se&keywords=kate+rope&qid=1777899994&sprefix=kate+rope%2Caps%2C223&sr=8-1] by Kate Rope [https://www.amazon.com/Strong-As-Girl-Raising-Themselves/dp/1250904773/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2CBD8CGBUWN1P&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.R8x2cfG1yH_yaF7HaacHQ5U3kiY2X1Ycr2Whr3TFajCpoYQiGa57Py5f4uJLn45IcgE_P4-Z65G3CfcmDhiyqpu3mxhbGVcCmq27xvmk6sILuvmSdjsu4guWs_rwvwA2WtfvLfxYDJpX_I9TJDfRBvrd3QGv53Cgqv4NKG_PI0UUAp30l52f4uegqBp9xGOVk972wdsAH30DTwmfVJBW3eR0cfyZfAH8ZIMSwIhrmkU.h2nhi-AXSWtJ-cEoBkyWN4cK5Nq0eTEYFwnpAsAODlM&dib_tag=se&keywords=kate+rope&qid=1777899994&sprefix=kate+rope%2Caps%2C223&sr=8-1] * Book: [https://www.amazon.com/Strong-Mother-Importantly-Pregnancy-Parenthood/dp/1250105587/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2CBD8CGBUWN1P&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.R8x2cfG1yH_yaF7HaacHQ5U3kiY2X1Ycr2Whr3TFajCpoYQiGa57Py5f4uJLn45IcgE_P4-Z65G3CfcmDhiyqpu3mxhbGVcCmq27xvmk6sILuvmSdjsu4guWs_rwvwA2WtfvLfxYDJpX_I9TJDfRBvrd3QGv53Cgqv4NKG_PI0UUAp30l52f4uegqBp9xGOVk972wdsAH30DTwmfVJBW3eR0cfyZfAH8ZIMSwIhrmkU.h2nhi-AXSWtJ-cEoBkyWN4cK5Nq0eTEYFwnpAsAODlM&dib_tag=se&keywords=kate+rope&qid=1777899994&sprefix=kate+rope%2Caps%2C223&sr=8-2]Strong as a Mother [https://www.amazon.com/Strong-Mother-Importantly-Pregnancy-Parenthood/dp/1250105587/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2CBD8CGBUWN1P&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.R8x2cfG1yH_yaF7HaacHQ5U3kiY2X1Ycr2Whr3TFajCpoYQiGa57Py5f4uJLn45IcgE_P4-Z65G3CfcmDhiyqpu3mxhbGVcCmq27xvmk6sILuvmSdjsu4guWs_rwvwA2WtfvLfxYDJpX_I9TJDfRBvrd3QGv53Cgqv4NKG_PI0UUAp30l52f4uegqBp9xGOVk972wdsAH30DTwmfVJBW3eR0cfyZfAH8ZIMSwIhrmkU.h2nhi-AXSWtJ-cEoBkyWN4cK5Nq0eTEYFwnpAsAODlM&dib_tag=se&keywords=kate+rope&qid=1777899994&sprefix=kate+rope%2Caps%2C223&sr=8-2] by Kate Rope [https://www.amazon.com/Strong-Mother-Importantly-Pregnancy-Parenthood/dp/1250105587/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2CBD8CGBUWN1P&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.R8x2cfG1yH_yaF7HaacHQ5U3kiY2X1Ycr2Whr3TFajCpoYQiGa57Py5f4uJLn45IcgE_P4-Z65G3CfcmDhiyqpu3mxhbGVcCmq27xvmk6sILuvmSdjsu4guWs_rwvwA2WtfvLfxYDJpX_I9TJDfRBvrd3QGv53Cgqv4NKG_PI0UUAp30l52f4uegqBp9xGOVk972wdsAH30DTwmfVJBW3eR0cfyZfAH8ZIMSwIhrmkU.h2nhi-AXSWtJ-cEoBkyWN4cK5Nq0eTEYFwnpAsAODlM&dib_tag=se&keywords=kate+rope&qid=1777899994&sprefix=kate+rope%2Caps%2C223&sr=8-2] * Instagram: [https://www.instagram.com/kateropewriter/]@KateRopeWriter [https://www.instagram.com/kateropewriter/] * The Jed Foundation * Seleni Institute

Your Spouse Isn't Lazy, Selfish, or Unloving. They Have ADHD | Melissa Orlov

When ADHD shows up in a marriage, it can often be misunderstood as laziness, selfishness, unreliability, or a lack of care. In this episode of Family Dialogues, Dr. Taniesha Burke speaks with ADHD relationship expert Melissa Orlov, author of The ADHD Effect on Marriage, about how ADHD can impact communication, trust, emotional regulation, household responsibilities, intimacy, and connection in couples.  Melissa explains why many adults first recognize ADHD patterns after a child is diagnosed, how a partner can misread ADHD symptoms, and why couples often fall into painful cycles such as over-functioning and under-functioning, resentment, criticism, emotional volatility, and the parent-child dynamic. She also discusses why education is often the first step toward healing, and how understanding ADHD can help couples move from blame and frustration toward compassion, accountability, and repair. This conversation is especially helpful for couples who suspect ADHD may be affecting their relationship, partners who feel overwhelmed by carrying the emotional or practical load, and adults who struggle with distractibility, time management, follow-through, emotional dysregulation, or feeling constantly criticized. Melissa reminds listeners that ADHD is not an excuse, but understanding it can provide a pathway to practical solutions. With the right tools, support, assessment, and willingness from both partners, ADHD-affected couples can rebuild trust, improve communication, and create a more connected and loving relationship. The episode also emphasizes that anyone who suspects ADHD should consider seeking a professional assessment rather than self-diagnosing. IN THIS EPISODE * How adult ADHD affects marriage and long-term relationships * Why ADHD symptoms are often mistaken for laziness, selfishness, or not caring * The parent-child dynamic in ADHD-affected couples * Emotional dysregulation, resentment, defensiveness, and repair * How ADHD impacts trust, communication, intimacy, and household responsibilities * How to gently raise the possibility of ADHD with a partner * Why education, support systems, and professional assessment matter * How couples can move from blame to teamwork and reconnection RECOMMENDED RESOURCES * ADHDmarriage.com [https://www.adhdmarriage.com/] * ADHD Marriage Consulting [https://www.adhdmarriage.com/consulting] * The ADHD Effect on Marriage [https://www.amazon.com/ADHD-Effect-Marriage-Understand-Relationship/dp/1886941971/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2VBDTIZSBUV27&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.3CYsixkHMj2-kAX1gdk1lHepinLvv7A_GoAqeoYxxCVej_uKNjgtK9jm-NrCyruDLaKrma1mVT7P5UzBox1D_TQvQB89s4qX3EwFF04iFy0fQuCfvJgfbRVNEKUFm0PPD3lijTGirCM29nn_VU0SnvZELPFRRaioOVM2mAwdZutIefz-TLsrwmNcech8bM9jownUI-QZYQW_1SrTgBknFHEhYxkgTRXO8vaB3FxOelI.I_aey94pu0yn6dPJu4PBtLUanEfhH2n1AEI1Gb8FYAs&dib_tag=se&keywords=The+ADHD+Effect+on+Marriage+by+Melissa+Orlov&nsdOptOutParam=true&qid=1777106915&sprefix=the+adhd+effect+on+marriage+by+melissa+orlov%2Caps%2C328&sr=8-1] by Melissa Orlov [https://www.amazon.com/ADHD-Effect-Marriage-Understand-Relationship/dp/1886941971/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2VBDTIZSBUV27&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.3CYsixkHMj2-kAX1gdk1lHepinLvv7A_GoAqeoYxxCVej_uKNjgtK9jm-NrCyruDLaKrma1mVT7P5UzBox1D_TQvQB89s4qX3EwFF04iFy0fQuCfvJgfbRVNEKUFm0PPD3lijTGirCM29nn_VU0SnvZELPFRRaioOVM2mAwdZutIefz-TLsrwmNcech8bM9jownUI-QZYQW_1SrTgBknFHEhYxkgTRXO8vaB3FxOelI.I_aey94pu0yn6dPJu4PBtLUanEfhH2n1AEI1Gb8FYAs&dib_tag=se&keywords=The+ADHD+Effect+on+Marriage+by+Melissa+Orlov&nsdOptOutParam=true&qid=1777106915&sprefix=the+adhd+effect+on+marriage+by+melissa+orlov%2Caps%2C328&sr=8-1] * The Couple’s Guide to Thriving with ADHD [https://www.amazon.com/Couples-Guide-Thriving-ADHD/dp/193776110X/ref=pd_bxgy_thbs_d_sccl_1/146-8732474-8397132?pd_rd_w=Up1M9&content-id=amzn1.sym.dcf559c6-d374-405e-a13e-133e852d81e1&pf_rd_p=dcf559c6-d374-405e-a13e-133e852d81e1&pf_rd_r=SX7YTE43AYBZQ6NET7ME&pd_rd_wg=Q9VYe&pd_rd_r=3fe895bc-e2b5-452c-bbaf-61c2aa65d63a&pd_rd_i=193776110X&psc=1] by Melissa Orlov [https://www.amazon.com/Couples-Guide-Thriving-ADHD/dp/193776110X/ref=pd_bxgy_thbs_d_sccl_1/146-8732474-8397132?pd_rd_w=Up1M9&content-id=amzn1.sym.dcf559c6-d374-405e-a13e-133e852d81e1&pf_rd_p=dcf559c6-d374-405e-a13e-133e852d81e1&pf_rd_r=SX7YTE43AYBZQ6NET7ME&pd_rd_wg=Q9VYe&pd_rd_r=3fe895bc-e2b5-452c-bbaf-61c2aa65d63a&pd_rd_i=193776110X&psc=1] * Melissa Orlov’s Couples Seminar / Nine-Session Seminar for ADHD-Affected Couples [https://www.adhdmarriage.com/events/phone-seminar-melissa-orlov] * ADDitude Magazine [https://www.additudemag.com] * Melissa Orlov’s ADDitude webinar on resentment in ADHD relationships [https://www.additudemag.com/webinar/resentment-in-marriage-adhd-relationships/?srsltid=AfmBOornYDp30nHxjsLuM1BIfqo4k3f2O_tEjLaGDdO84uTWSNEv0L5d] * Melissa Orlov - Psychology Today [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/contributors/melissa-orlov]

Parenting ADHD with Confidence: How to Handle Defiance, Forgetfulness & Emotional Outbursts | Cindy Goldrich

Parenting a child with ADHD can feel overwhelming with the constant reminders, emotional outbursts, forgotten tasks, and daily power struggles. But what if the key isn’t more discipline… but deeper understanding?  In this episode of Family Dialogues, ADHD expert Cindy Goldrich shares practical, research-informed strategies to help parents move from frustration to connection. Learn how to support your child’s executive function challenges, reduce conflict, and build independence without shame, punishment, or burnout. Whether you're navigating ADHD parenting, emotional regulation struggles, or daily routines, this episode offers actionable tools to create a calmer, more connected family dynamic.  What You’ll Learn in This Episode: * Why ADHD is not a behavior problem but a skill gap * How executive function challenges impact memory, motivation, and routines * The powerful mindset shift: “Parent the child you have” * Why reward charts and punishments often fail with ADHD children * How to reduce power struggles and defiance through collaboration * The difference between enabling vs. supporting your child * Simple strategies to build independence and responsibility * How to communicate effectively: “Be brief, firm, and gone” * Tools to support emotional regulation and self-awareness * Why connection, not correction is the foundation of lasting change Key Takeaways: * ADHD brains work differently; understanding this changes everything * Children with ADHD are not lazy or unmotivated: They need skill-building support * Strong parent-child relationships reduce conflict and improve outcomes * Small shifts in communication and mindset can lead to major family transformation Resources & Programs Mentioned: * Special resource for listeners - www.PTScoaching.com/DrBurke * PTS Coaching [https://ptscoaching.com/] * Calm and Connected Parents Program [https://ptscoaching.com/parents/calm-and-connected/] * ADHD Parent Coach Academy [https://ptscoaching.com/adhd-parent-coach-academy/] * ADHD Teacher Trainer Academy [https://ptscoaching.com/adhd-professional-trainer-academy/] * Eight Keys to Parenting Children with ADHD [https://a.co/d/0dqmVASX] (book) [https://a.co/d/0dqmVASX] * Substack (Cindy Goldrich) [https://adhdparentandteacherexpert.substack.com/] * Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/PTSCoaching * Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/ptscoaching * LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/ptscoaching