From Homeless to Mansion

E10 - Mama Drama

"Josh, HELP ME!!!" We're back after a way-too-long break with more drama! If you've ever had to ignore a parent's cries for attention because you know all they bring with them is trouble, then this episode is for you. I'll be taking you through some insane conversations, if you can call them that, I've had with my mother over the last couple of years, including a wild 911 call. Then we're going to do a deeper dive on some stuff we talked about way back at the end of last season: what does it look like when your protector is the one putting you in danger? Themes we've explored before, but we always find a new way to show them. Click here to send me a message! There's no way for me to respond unless you give me your contact info, but I will absolutely read it and may even feature it in the next episode! [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/2457929/open_sms]

E9 - Knowing Better

"They were brother and sister and they were doing things they definitely should not have been doing." This week's episode is all about the things we do when we should know better. Whether as children or adults, sometimes we do things that we know we shouldn't. Or maybe we don't know we shouldn't. How do you know the difference between right and wrong when you've been taught that the wrong things are okay your entire life? The journey continues as we explore life after my mother's release from jail. When the system failed to recognize the dangers of returning me to her custody, we found ourselves starting over in one of the roughest parts of downtown. The neighborhood itself was a microcosm of extreme urban poverty – chain-link fences, homeless people on doorsteps, and neighbors whose living conditions defied imagination. The family next door, perpetually dirty and living in hoard-like conditions, became my playmates in good and bad ways. These relationships crossed boundaries that, looking back, reveal how childhood trauma and neglect reshape a child's understanding of normal behavior. When a neighborhood bully targeted my friend, my protective instinct manifested in shocking violence. Was this extreme reaction the product of undiagnosed anger issues, or simply the natural response of a child who'd learned that adults couldn't be relied upon to maintain safety? Click here to send me a message! There's no way for me to respond unless you give me your contact info, but I will absolutely read it and may even feature it in the next episode! [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/2457929/open_sms]

E8 - The Guilty Child

What happens if the only constant in your chaotic world is abruptly removed... in handcuffs? This is the night everything changed. The adults were upstairs getting high, so it began with another night of trying to sleep in a car. The red and blue lights lit up the night to rescue a neglected kid. Did it really save me, though? Or did it just throw me from the frying pan to the fire? I take you straight into that moment. Raw, real and unfiltered. The terror of being woken up by police flashlights. Watching my mom, my anchor, being arrested. The guilt I carried, believing it was all my fault. Moving in with a father I barely knew and his girlfriend, a woman whose violence and volatility created a new kind of danger. But this isn’t just a story of trauma — it’s a story of survival and the silent scars of being the invisible kid no one checked in on. My father's feeble attempts at normalcy, enrolling me in Cub Scouts and Taekwondo, only highlighted how different my life was from other children's. As an introverted, anxious child who'd never known stability, these activities became another source of alienation rather than belonging. Each awkward social interaction and failed attempt at fitting in served as a painful reminder that I existed in a world apart from my peers. The most enduring pain, however, came from the burden of misplaced guilt. For years afterward, my mother continued to remind me that her arrest was my fault—if I hadn't been sleeping in that car, none of it would have happened. As a child, I accepted this blame without question. But this episode serves as a powerful reminder for anyone who has carried similar burdens: it was never your fault; children are not responsible for the failures of their caregivers. If you've been made to feel guilty for situations that weren't your fault, I'd love to hear your story. Reach out with a message or comment so we can remind each other that the guilt many of us carry simply doesn't belong to us—and it's time to let it go. Click here to send me a message! There's no way for me to respond unless you give me your contact info, but I will absolutely read it and may even feature it in the next episode! [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/2457929/open_sms]

E7 - Roach Motel

Poverty doesn't just mean having less money – it creates an entire ecosystem of experiences that shape how a child views the world. This raw, unflinching episode takes listeners into the realities of growing up with constant instability, from roach-infested motels to sleeping on mattresses stuffed into closets. The haunting details of motel life paint a vivid picture: drug deals happening just outside, used condoms on the floor and roaches crawling everywhere. These weren't just temporary accommodations, but actual homes for weeks or months at a time. Perhaps most devastating is how these living conditions created a second layer of isolation, as  roaches would hitchhike in my backpack to friends' houses, resulting in some parents banning visits to prevent infestation in their own homes. We witness childhood resilience in its rawest form. The contrast between these harsh surroundings and normal childhood experiences – cherishing Pokemon cards, attending an NSYNC concert, navigating awkward fifth-grade relationships – highlights how children attempt to create normalcy even in the most abnormal circumstances. What's most unsettling is how all of this seemed completely normal to a child who had never known anything different. With no adult intervention or questioning whether these conditions were acceptable, the cycle continued as the family moved from place to place whenever they could no longer pay rent. Have you experienced similar circumstances or know someone who has? Share your stories and reflections – I read every message and am deeply grateful for this community of listeners willing to engage with difficult but important conversations about the hidden realities of childhood poverty. From Dirt We Grow: https://youtu.be/lIpmNdhX_08?si=6AfIj5Q033KIWvOq [https://youtu.be/lIpmNdhX_08?si=6AfIj5Q033KIWvOq] STAG Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4NZCksMcTCoeiRljlrhu9U [https://open.spotify.com/episode/4NZCksMcTCoeiRljlrhu9U] Let’s Connect: Instagram: homelesstomansion [https://instagram.com/homelesstomansion] TikTok: @homelesstomansion [https://tiktok.com/@homelesstomansion] YouTube: @homelesstomansion [https://youtube.com/@homelesstomansion] Website: https://homelesstomansion.com [https://homelesstomansion.com] Support the Show If this episode resonated with you, drop a review on Spotify or Apple—it  means the world to me and helps new listeners find the podcast. Click here to send me a message! There's no way for me to respond unless you give me your contact info, but I will absolutely read it and may even feature it in the next episode! [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/2457929/open_sms]

E6 - Parenting Failures

"These people just want to use you for whatever they can get out of you." The behaviors we learn in childhood follow us into adulthood in ways we often fail to recognize. Growing up in extreme poverty taught me financial and social patterns that lingered long after I escaped those circumstances. This raw, reflective episode examines the subtle yet powerful ways parental failings shape who we become. The most insidious lessons came from watching how adults in my life manipulated others. My mother and her circle perfected the art of getting what they wanted without directly asking – creating elaborate displays of neediness designed to maximize what they could get from others. I absorbed these "poverty behaviors" and still catch myself falling into these patterns today. Breaking these cycles requires first recognizing them for what they are: learned survival mechanisms rather than permanent character flaws. While these behaviors may have served a purpose in an environment of scarcity and instability, they become self-sabotaging once we have opportunities for stability and growth. This episode offers both personal reflection and insight for anyone working to overcome similar patterns. Have you identified destructive patterns from your own childhood? Share your story or reach out with your thoughts – I'd love to hear how you're breaking cycles and creating healthier behaviors in your own life. Subscribe, leave a review and join me next week as we continue exploring how our past shapes our present.  From Dirt We Grow: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIpmNdhX_08 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIpmNdhX_08] Click here to send me a message! There's no way for me to respond unless you give me your contact info, but I will absolutely read it and may even feature it in the next episode! [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/2457929/open_sms]