Neither Here Nor There

Soul Care (Season Finale)

Living between worlds creates an ache that helps us understand we're all foreigners here, no matter what your passport country is. On this season finale of Neither Here Nor There [https://www.facebook.com/share/1B9aPNajJJ/?mibextid=wwXIfr], hosts Ruthie Gomez [https://www.facebook.com/ruthie.jetergomez] and Laura talk with guest, Brandi Carrano [https://www.instagram.com/brandicarrano/?hl=en] of the International Church of Barcelona [https://icbspain.com/team/] about soul care during the settled stage and the spiritual dimensions of living between cultures. They explore how the back-and-forth between worlds helps people recognize their true longing for eternity and their identity as sojourners rather than permanent residents of any earthly location. The episode focuses on finding hope and meaning in the unique perspective that comes from cross-cultural living. They discuss how God shows up specifically during times of change, providing both practical provisions and spiritual comfort during major life transitions. Brandi shares a powerful story about her four-year-old daughter's prayer for an outdoor space during their apartment search in Barcelona, and how God provided exactly what seemed impossible, confirming His presence and care for specific details that matter to His children during seasons of upheaval and settling. "Gratefully, every time He has shown up in our time of change. Very specific things," Brandi reflects about God's faithfulness during transitions. "And sure enough, it was our house and we lived in that house for many years. It was just amazing to me that he showed up in specific ways that my daughter would know he was with us." The conversation concludes with Ruthie sharing an original poem about the Narnia experience of moving between worlds, capturing the bittersweet reality of carrying multiple cultures and identities while finding ultimate security in Christ as the constant presence across all transitions. They encourage listeners to embrace the adventures and discoveries that come with cross-cultural living, despite the inherent heartache and goodbyes, trusting that there are unknown worlds of experience waiting to be discovered.

The Settled Stage

Maybe one reason some of us have never pursued gardening is because we haven't stayed somewhere long enough to allow roots to grow. On this episode of Neither Here Nor There [https://www.facebook.com/share/1B9aPNajJJ/?mibextid=wwXIfr], hosts Ruthie Gomez [https://www.facebook.com/ruthie.jetergomez] and Laura talk with Brandi Carrano about the Settled stage of transition, the hands-down favorite phase where you finally have a sense of belonging and commitment impossible in other stages. They explore how settling provides the gift of freed-up mental bandwidth since moving takes enormous physical, mental, and emotional energy, allowing space for new interests, hobbies, and processing past changes. Laura reflects on how this podcast wouldn't exist without spending settled time together, emphasizing that settled is where you give from rather than just survive. They discuss the challenge of opening your heart to meaningful relationships again after painful goodbyes, noting that third culture kids who've lived the transition cycle repeatedly often crave home but may not feel settled is normal. The conversation addresses how some people create patterns of needing change every few years even in adult life, and explores the courage required to break those patterns and make the conscious choice to dig deeper into your current dream rather than dreaming a new one. The episode features Brandi Carrano [https://www.instagram.com/brandicarrano/?hl=en], founder of REAL Women's Ministry and Conference, and pastors alongside her husband John [https://www.facebook.com/john.a.carrano] at the International Church of Barcelona [https://icbspain.com/team/]. "So around the five-year mark in Barcelona, I started to get a little itchy. And I didn't know why. It was just kind of this unsettled, you know, asking the big questions," Brandi reflects. "Neither one of us had ever lived in one location longer than five years. Neither one of us. In our whole lives." The conversation emphasizes that settling doesn't mean being completely free of chaos, but rather having a baseline of knowing you'll be somewhere unless something significantly changes. They encourage those not yet settled that this season may lie ahead, while challenging those who are settled to maintain empathy and provide stability for others going through earlier transition stages, becoming the person others call for recommendations and support rather than constantly seeking stability themselves.

Soul Care in Entering

Moving from a place where making tomato soup required a harrowing market trip to somewhere you can simply buy it from the store should feel like relief, but sometimes it brings unexpected depression instead. On this episode of Neither Here Nor There [https://www.facebook.com/share/1B9aPNajJJ/?mibextid=wwXIfr], hosts Ruthie Gomez [https://www.facebook.com/ruthie.jetergomez] and Laura talk to guest Audrey Wells about soul care during the entering stage of transition, when unspoken expectations clash with reality in confusing ways. They explore how the entering phase can bring both wild excitement and massive disappointment within minutes, as you process previous transition cycles while settling into new circumstances. Laura shares her personal struggle with depression after moving to beautiful Barcelona, despite the move being objectively easier than their previous location. They discuss how disappointment can obscure your view of good things during transition, like clouds rolling over a monastery and hiding its beauty from hikers. The conversation addresses the importance of honest processing with God, using King David's psalms as a model for bringing both frustration and gratitude to prayer without pretending everything is fine. They introduce the Prayer of Examen, a daily spiritual practice developed by Ignatius of Loyola for reflecting on God's presence throughout each day using five elements: gratitude, emotional awareness, discernment, forgiveness, and petition for specific needs. "The Lord has always been very present to me. I think I grew up, even since a young child, just sensing how close He really was," Audrey reflects. "And so in the midst of not being able to turn my gas on and not getting settled in as quickly as I thought I was able to, God just leaned in during that time and just became so present to me." The conversation emphasizes that God's presence remains constant even when practical needs create frustration and loneliness during the settling-in process. They encourage listeners to set their primary expectations on God's faithfulness rather than circumstances, recognizing that He invites honest communication about both struggles and gratitude during difficult transitions, and that emotions serve as warning lights rather than negative experiences to avoid.

The Entering Stage

Sometimes entering means discovering your new reality includes a flea-infested carpet and no closet when you expected a furnished room. On this episode of Neither Here Nor There [https://www.facebook.com/share/1B9aPNajJJ/?mibextid=wwXIfr], host Ruthie Gomez [https://www.facebook.com/ruthie.jetergomez] talks with co-host Laura and guest Audrey Wells [https://www.facebook.com/oddreywells], the Executive Pastor at ICB Barcelona [https://icbspain.com/] about the entering stage of the transition cycle, when expectations collide with reality in ways both pleasant and jarring. They explore how the entering stage involves constantly adjusting expectations as you settle into new circumstances, using disappointment as a warning light to identify unmet expectations that need realigning. Ruthie shares her graduate school experience of arriving at an empty apartment and learning to trust God's provision through practical needs and friendships. They discuss the vulnerability that characterizes this stage, noting how people can feel like they're observing from the outside while needing to take active steps toward finding community and support. The conversation addresses the emotional complexities of entering, including ambivalent feelings, exaggerated emotions, and the surprising appearance of depression during what should be an exciting phase. They emphasize that depression often hits during entering because the reality of loss becomes tangible rather than anticipated, and explore how personality affects the entering process through different approaches to building new community connections. "I believe it affects it a lot. And obviously those who maybe are more shy or have a hard time making friends, it can be hard," Audrey reflects. "I'm an introvert and I've actually found that in my adulthood, being an introvert has actually helped me a lot in transition." The conversation includes a practical tool called "Unpacking Your Heart Pack," which helps individuals and families process the emotional aspects of transition by sorting experiences into categories of trash, treasure, refill, and repack. Ruthie and Laura emphasize the importance of taking time to identify both the valuable experiences worth carrying forward and the negative experiences that should be released rather than carried into new seasons.

Soul Care in Chaos (Minisode)

Chaos can feel like a brain wipe, washing your soul of all that it knows and leaving you staring blankly mid-conversation. On this episode of Neither Here Nor There [https://www.facebook.com/share/1B9aPNajJJ/?mibextid=wwXIfr], host Ruthie Gomez [https://www.facebook.com/ruthie.jetergomez] talks with co-host Laura about caring for your soul during the chaos stage of transition. They explore how the overwhelming nature of chaos can make it difficult to focus on anything, leading to forgotten tasks and mental fog as your brain tries to process countless details simultaneously. Laura shares her current experience preparing for a six-month transition and the creative discipline required to maintain spiritual practices during chaotic seasons. They discuss practical soul care strategies including setting timers for prayer and Bible reading, listening to scripture when normal study feels overwhelming, and using ancient spiritual practices with intentional flexibility. The conversation addresses how familiar routines help us remember who we are during destabilizing seasons, and why chaos often requires leaning into creative adaptations of spiritual disciplines rather than abandoning them entirely. They emphasize that chaos is precisely when soul care becomes most essential, even if it looks different from settled seasons. "Are there some tools that you have that you use that are helpful in the chaos season to kind of keep your soul on track?" Laura asks. "Well, I'm an auditory learner and I really like listening to the Bible because I can be doing something else at the same time," Ruthie explains. "That's really important in this season." The conversation includes practical recommendations for soul care resources including liturgical prayers for those who struggle to form words during overwhelming seasons, scripture-based music that engages different learning styles, and the importance of transitional objects that provide tangible stability. Ruthie and Laura emphasize that God reveals himself uniquely during transition seasons, showing up as Provider, Rock, and stability when our normal anchors feel shaken. Resources mentioned: * Liturgies and Laments for the Sojourner [https://a.co/d/emxHGiD] * Every Moment Holy, Volume I: New Liturgies for Daily Life (Over 100 Prayers and Illustrations for Practicing Mindfulness of the Presence of God in the Ordinary) [https://a.co/d/19VBudx] * Scripture Lullabies [https://open.spotify.com/artist/2bBRxQ6hEba2rm64HLgFTo?si=oCcdgQ82SFqvwC2F6-50ZQ] * ‎StreetlightsBible [https://apps.apple.com/us/app/streetlightsbible/id1101412436] * Genesis 1 [https://open.spotify.com/track/3GsahMu1bnZN8QX7HRvhia?si=8b84e594cc6d48f4]