On Purpose with Jay Shetty

Esther Perel: The REAL Reason You’re Struggling to Find Love (Fix THIS to Build Chemistry in Real Life)

Today,  Jay Shetty welcomes back Esther Perel to unpack a growing tension in modern relationships: in a world more connected than ever, why so many people feel deeply disconnected. Esther reframes dating struggles as something deeper than love itself, pointing to a broader loss of real-life social practice. Without the everyday interactions that once taught us how to approach, connect, and handle rejection, dating now feels like a high-stakes performance instead of a natural progression. What was once built through play, curiosity, and gradual connection has been compressed into a single moment of pressure, turning love into something overwhelming rather than something we can explore. Jay and Esther explore the illusion of connection in the digital age, where texting replaces talking and screens replace presence. Esther explains how this disembodied way of relating strips away the elements that create real intimacy, like eye contact, tone of voice, touch, and shared energy. While it can feel like we are communicating more, we are often losing depth, nuance, and emotional resonance. This shift has shaped a culture that avoids friction and discomfort, yet still feels more anxious, lonely, and exhausted. In trying to make relationships easier and more efficient, we may be losing the very experiences that give them meaning. In this episode you'll learn: How to Build Real Connection Offline How to Turn Dating Into Discovery, Not Pressure How to Be More Curious Instead of Judgmental How to Create Attraction Through Presence Not Perfection How to Ask for What You Truly Need How to Build Trust in Small, Consistent Moments How to Balance Independence and Interdependence How to Stay Open to Love Without a Checklist If there’s one thing to hold onto, it’s this: nothing about love is broken, you’re just being asked to approach it differently. The world may have made connection feel more complicated, but at its core, it still comes back to showing up, being present, and allowing yourself to be seen without needing to get everything right. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty JAY’S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe [https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe]   Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast [https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast]  What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 01:11 Why Is Gen Z Dating Less? 04:23 The Disappearance of Physical Connection 06:26 Living in a Fully Contactless World 09:54 Connected, Yet Deeply Disconnected 12:01 Dating in the Age of Surveillance 14:11 Why Real Connection Feels Harder Than Ever 17:07 Why Love Falls Flat Without Friction 18:41 The Missing Skills No One Taught Us About Love 24:35 The Hidden Power Struggles Shaping Modern Relationships 27:05 The 4 Pillars of Relational Intelligence 30:07 Have We Lost the Ability to Problem-Solve? 32:38 How to Know If You Can Really Trust Someone 36:44 From “Me” to “We”  38:27 Should You Make a Dating Checklist?  41:04 Why Dating Feels Like a Full-Time Job 43:00 The Pressure Behind “Intentional” Dating 47:50 When Love Doesn’t Speak Your Language 50:25 Why Talking to AI Feels Easier Than People 55:16 The Trap of Wanting Love to Feel Effortless 56:35 Is Love Supposed to Be Hard? 57:58 Why Wanting Love Isn’t “Cringe” 01:02:43 Codependence vs Healthy Love 01:07:09 What Actually Keeps Desire Alive? 01:10:26 Breaking Down Viral Relationship Myths   01:17:38 Esther on Final Five Episode Resources: Website | https://www.estherperel.com/ [https://www.estherperel.com/]  YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/@estherperel [https://www.youtube.com/@estherperel]  Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/esther.perel/ [https://www.facebook.com/esther.perel/]  Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/estherperelofficial [https://www.instagram.com/estherperelofficial]  LinkedIn | https://www.linkedin.com/in/estherperel [https://www.linkedin.com/in/estherperel]  TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@estherperel_official [https://www.tiktok.com/@estherperel_official]  Substack | https://estherperel.substack.com/ [https://estherperel.substack.com/]  Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/where-should-we-begin-with-esther-perel/id1237931798] Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence [https://www.amazon.com/Mating-Captivity-Unlocking-Erotic-Intelligence/dp/0060753641] See omnystudio.com/listener [https://omnystudio.com/listener] for privacy information.

Can’t Sit Still Without Distraction? (Train Your Brain With THIS Daily Practice & Embrace Boredom!)

Today, Jay explores a truth most of us instinctively avoid: we no longer know how to be alone with our own thoughts. He reflects on how our constant need for stimulation, scrolling, watching, filling every empty second, is not just a habit, but a quiet escape from ourselves. What we often dismiss as “boredom” isn’t something to fix, but a signal, quietly guiding us toward clarity, deeper self-awareness, and inner peace. Jay brings in modern neuroscience to explain why boredom is not empty at all. He introduces the concept of the Default Mode Network, the part of the brain responsible for self-reflection, creativity, empathy, and imagining the future. This system only activates when we stop consuming and allow our minds to wander. In a world engineered to keep us constantly distracted, we are gradually disconnecting from the very mechanism that helps us understand ourselves and generate our best ideas. In this episode you'll learn: How to Stop Reaching for Your Phone Automatically How to Turn Idle Moments Into Creative Breakthroughs How to Activate Your Brain’s Default Mode Network How to Build a Daily Practice of Doing Nothing How to Break the Habit of Constant Stimulation How to Create Space for Deep Thinking and Clarity You don’t need to fill every moment to live a meaningful life. The pauses you’ve been avoiding may be the very spaces where clarity, peace, and creativity begin. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty JAY’S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe here: https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe [https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe]  Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast [https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast]  What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 00:33 Can Anybody Just Sit Still Anymore? 03:01 What is the Scientific Definition of Boredom? 12:33 The Persuasion Machines 16:09 The Ancient Art of Doing Nothing 18:07 #1: Understand What You're Doing 18:49 #2: The 3-Minute Hold 20:13 #3: Do One Boring Thing 21:14 #4: Get Bored on Purpose See omnystudio.com/listener [https://omnystudio.com/listener] for privacy information.

Bridget Bahl: The Diagnosis That Changed Everything (The Reality She Wasn’t Prepared For and the Perspective It Gave Her)

Jay sits down with Bridget Bahl, entrepreneur and founder of the fashion brand The Bar, who has built a powerful community through her honesty about life, faith, and relationships. What begins as a conversation about success and ambition evolves into something far more personal, a journey through fear, uncertainty, and the quiet strength it takes to keep going when life feels out of your control. Bridget shares what it looks like to move from constantly striving for more to being forced to slow down, reflect, and rediscover what truly matters, not in theory, but in real time. Jay and Bridget open up about the emotional layers we rarely talk about, the grief that can exist alongside gratitude, the pressure to stay strong, and the reality that healing is not always linear. After being diagnosed with breast cancer, Bridget began sharing her journey with honesty and resilience, using her platform to bring awareness, hope, and purpose to others. Her story reflects something deeply familiar, that we often do not realize how much we take for granted until life demands our full attention. Through her vulnerability, Bridget reminds us that even in the hardest moments, meaning can still be found in the people who show up, the perspective we gain, and the small shifts that change how we live each day. In this episode, you'll learn: How to Stay Strong in Uncertainty How to Let Go of Control How to Support Someone Through Difficult Times How to Listen to Your Body Early How to Hold Grief and Gratitude At the Same Time How to Keep Faith in Life’s Hardest Moments Whatever season you’re in right now, whether life feels overwhelming, uncertain, or just not how you imagined, this is your reminder that you’re stronger than you think. Even in the moments that feel heavy or unclear, there is still meaning being formed and growth happening beneath the surface.  With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty JAY’S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe [https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe]   Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast [https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast]  What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 02:22 Where Her Journey Began 06:33 The Moment Everything Changed  10:12 Why Early Detection Matters 17:15 The Reality of Living with Cancer  22:16 “Why Is This Happening to Me?”  24:14 Facing the First Chemotherapy Appointment 26:34 Learning to Be Softer with Yourself 28:24 Redefining Strength Through Pain 34:54 What Not to Say to Someone with Cancer 38:24 Choosing a Partner Who Shows Up In Sickness & Health 41:03 The Husband List 45:30 How Their Love Story Began 46:06 You’re Not Behind in Love 47:55 Choosing Joy, Even When It’s Hard 51:38 Rebuilding Confidence After Struggle 53:36 How to Keep Going When It’s Tough 57:25 Honest Conversations with Faith 58:14 Learning to Hold Grief and Gratitude 01:03:24 This Too Shall Pass 01:04:20 What’s the Best That Could Happen? Episode Resources: Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/bridget/ [https://www.instagram.com/bridget/]   TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@bridgezilla [https://www.tiktok.com/@bridgezilla] See omnystudio.com/listener [https://omnystudio.com/listener] for privacy information.

Leila Hormozi: Feel Like You’re Working Hard but Not Getting Ahead? (Use THIS Simple Filter to Focus on What ACTUALLY Makes You Money)

We spend so much time waiting to feel ready, not realizing that confidence only comes after we begin. Today, Jay sits down with Leila Hormozi to explore what truly drives success, not just in business but in becoming the person who can sustain it. What emerges is a powerful shift in perspective. Confidence is not something you chase, it is something you earn through competence. Leila shares candid stories from her early struggles with insecurity, rejection, and self-doubt, revealing that real growth begins the moment you stop waiting to feel ready and start taking action anyway. Together, they unpack a hard truth. The path to confidence is built through failure, humility, and the willingness to be seen as “bad” before becoming great. The conversation moves beyond mindset into the mechanics of success, including discipline, leadership, and emotional resilience. Leila reframes discipline not as a personality trait, but as a system you design within your environment, making the right actions easier and the wrong ones harder. Leila also challenges the belief that strategy or market conditions determine success. Instead, she emphasizes that the real differentiator is your ability to manage your mind and emotions under pressure. Through stories of entrepreneurs who lost everything, not because of poor tactics, but because they could not stay grounded, she highlights that inner stability is the true foundation of long-term success. In this episode you'll learn: How to Build Confidence Through Competence How to Take Action Before You Feel Ready How to Turn Rejection Into Growth How to Stay Disciplined Using Simple Systems How to Manage Your Emotions Under Pressure How to Lean Into Discomfort How to Create Consistency That Drives Results How to Lead People Without Losing Trust How to Build a Successful Business Without Losing Your Values How to Focus on What Truly Moves You Forward You don’t need to have everything figured out to move forward, you just need to be willing to start where you are. Growth isn’t about feeling confident every step of the way; it’s about showing up even when you’re unsure, uncomfortable, or afraid. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty JAY’S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe here: https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe [https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe]  Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast [https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast]  What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 05:00 What Actually Builds Confidence? 06:40 Stop Waiting to Feel Ready To Take Action 11:28 You Have to Be Bad Before You Get Good 14:41 Lean Into Fear and Discomfort 20:25 What’s Actually Blocking Your Success 26:00 Can You Handle the Pressure of Success? 35:00 Discipline Isn’t Willpower 43:20 Is Work-Life Balance Possible? 49:41 How to Find Purpose in Any Job 53:00 What It Really Means to Be a CEO 57:24 The Hiring Mistake Most People Make 01:04:00 What Makes You Stand Out Instantly 01:12:00 The Most Overrated Leadership Traits 01:14:13 Should People Fear or Respect You? 01:18:00 The Secret to Building High-Trust Teams 01:19:00 Carrot or Stick: What Actually Works? 01:24:00 How to Give Productive Feedback  01:30:24 The Truth About Women and Independence 01:36:20 When Life Doesn’t Match Your Expectations 01:39:14 How to Handle Criticism Without Breaking 01:46:06 The Hidden Cost of Chasing Success 01:51:00 How to Rethink Your Relationship With Money 01:54:43 Leila on Final Five Episode Resources: Website | https://www.acquisition.com/ [https://www.acquisition.com/]  YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/@leilahormozi [https://www.youtube.com/@leilahormozi]  Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/leilahormozi/ [https://www.facebook.com/leilahormozi/]  Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/leilahormozi/ [https://www.instagram.com/leilahormozi/]  LinkedIn | https://www.linkedin.com/in/leilahormozi [https://www.linkedin.com/in/leilahormozi]  TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@leilahormozi [https://www.tiktok.com/@leilahormozi]  X | https://x.com/LeilaHormozi [https://x.com/LeilaHormozi] See omnystudio.com/listener [https://omnystudio.com/listener] for privacy information.

10 Books That Changed My Life

Today, Jay opens with an honest observation: most books don’t actually change your life. While many offer inspiration in the moment, they rarely shift how we truly think or live. What makes the difference, Jay explains, isn’t how much you read, it’s whether a single idea stays with you long enough to reshape your decisions, habits, and identity. Jay shares 10 books that genuinely changed his life, and the specific lessons that stayed with him long after he turned the last page. From rethinking how we judge our decisions to letting go of the need for approval, each book challenged a belief he once held. Jay explores how we often misinterpret our experiences, chase a single definition of purpose, and overwhelm our minds with unnecessary mental clutter. He also unpacks the hidden patterns that drive so much of our stress, like the illusion of certainty in our thinking and the instinct to defend our beliefs instead of questioning them. Through these insights, Jay invites you to look at your own thinking more closely, and to become more intentional about how you make decisions, what you believe, and how you show up every day. In this episode, you'll learn: How to Clear Mental Clutter and Think Better How to Question Your Own Thinking How to Take Action Without Perfection How to Understand People You Disagree With How to Focus on Effort, Not Results You are allowed to grow at your own pace. You are allowed to not have everything figured out. What matters is that you keep showing up with intention, with awareness, and with the courage to do things differently, even when it feels uncomfortable. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty JAY’S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe here: https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe [https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe]  Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast [https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast]  What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 01:46 Book 1: How to Decide: Why We Judge Decisions the Wrong Way 04:49 Book 2: Finding Your Element (The Myth of One True Purpose) 07:07 Book 3: An Organized Mind 09:48 Book 4: The Courage To Be Disliked 13:28 Book 5: Thinking, Fast and Slow 16:36 Book 6: Flow State  18:50 Book 7: The Lean Startup - Stop Overthinking, Start Testing 21:33 Book 8: The Righteous Mind 24:50 Book 9: Lessons From the Bhagavad Gita 27:04 Book 10: Breath: A Simple Way to Reset Your State See omnystudio.com/listener [https://omnystudio.com/listener] for privacy information.