Our Sh*t Podcast.

The Idiot Test & Other Ways We'd Ruin Everything.

Episode Description: This week on Our Shit Podcast, we're discussing what we would do if we ruled the world. Cue evil laugh. What big changes would we make? Can we make it a better place? Turns out, absolutely not. We kick off with the idiot test - identifying idiots and casting them out. There's a lot of them. We tackle keeping David Attenborough's soul alive by putting him in a head jar à la Futurama (sorry David), and discuss natural selection. Again, idiots are out. Next: bank holidays. We need TWO a month, minimum, and decent ones we can actually prepare for. Lady M wants uncensored TV with more blood, gore, and violence to keep everyone happy. Other brilliant rulings include banning social media, deploying strike force teams on sexual predators, bringing back plastic (controversial), and deleting fake news with military precision. So basically, the world is still quite bad under our ruling but a little more chaotic, a little more millennial, and very Our Shit Podcast. Warning: Contains authoritarian tendencies, Futurama-inspired immortality plans, idiot deportation schemes, violent television advocacy, and enough questionable policy to concern actual world leaders.

The Reality of Office Life and the Recurring Turdosaurus.

This week on Our Shit Podcast, we're asking the big question: What would we rather do than go to work on a Monday? Spoiler alert: literally anything. Chloe is officially done with corporate life and has regressed to eating easy chewable baby snacks because adulting is overrated. We dove into our lengthy career paths of bar work, graduate schemes, and living the millennial 9-5 lie that promised fulfilment but delivered Excel spreadsheets and existential dread. Lady M casually drops that she became a deputy manager of a 5-star hotel at 18 that had a dead person in the attic. Moving on. No fucks given by teenage management climbing that ladder. We discussed worst jobs, dream jobs, and then quick-fired "things we'd rather do than go to work on Monday." Chloe keeps it nice and airy: waxing her entire body, assembling IKEA furniture. Lady M goes full chaos: being dragged naked on a gravel road, getting hit by a car..., surviving in miserable pain. You know, standard preferences. So grab your baby snacks and reminisce on your own work fails while we question every life choice that led us here. Warning: Contains corporate burnout, hotel attic secrets, IKEA torture preferences, gravel road fantasies, and the mysterious recurring Turdosaurus that nobody asked about.

If I Die, Contact Me on Blackberry Message.

WE'RE BACK FOR SEASON 3! This week on Our Shit Podcast, we're tackling the doom and gloom of the world but trying to cheer everyone up with our peak millennial energy. Spoiler alert: it's not working, but we're trying. We kicked off with quick-fire rounds including "what was your first ringtone?" (embarrassing), "what is a peak millennial flex?" (owning a house, apparently), and "when and how did you know you were old?" The answers are depressing but hilarious. After much deliberation, we've concluded that everything in life somehow comes back to hot milk and cinnamon. Don't question the logic, just accept it. We touched on the weird phenomenon of dead people still existing on Facebook, then revealed our dream dinner guests: Lady M wants to invite Steve Irwin (dead millennial icon), while Chloe has chosen Tiger King who is... still very much alive. Someone didn't understand the assignment. We also mentioned Reform, Nigel Farage, Justin Beiber's haircut from the 2000s, Ai taking over the world, and discovered that Lady M has somehow outlived her predicted death day. Happy Dead Day! It's chaotic, it's back, it's Our Shit Podcast - Season 3 baby!

AliExpress Machine Gun Kelly.

SEASON 2 FINALE CHAOS! This week on Our Shit Podcast, we forced Chloe to download a dating app and then proceeded to absolutely destroy every profile we came across. You're welcome, internet dating. To be fair to these poor unsuspecting daters (are we though?), we gave them alternative names before ripping apart their pictures, personalities, and questionable life ethics. Each lucky contestant got a score out of 10, and let's just say the results were... tragic. Plot twist: dating in your 30s is apparently a barren wasteland of disappointment and bad selfies. Who knew? We also read out some internet dating comedic/horror stories from Reddit because misery loves company, and honestly other people's disasters make us feel better about our own lives. From AliExpress Machine Gun Kelly to whatever fresh hell awaits in those DMs, we've covered it all. Shoutout to our sponsor (we don't have a sponsor, someone please sponsor us). Welcome to Season 2's grand finale where we've learned absolutely nothing and destroyed Chloe's dating prospects in the process. You're welcome.

Will My Sleep Paralysis Demon Stick a Christmas Tree Up My Anus?

This week on Our Shit Podcast, we're confronting our deepest fears and honestly they're more embarrassing than terrifying. We kick off with the ultimate modern horror: accidentally sending abusive messages directly to the person you were slagging off. Absolutely mortifying. Then we dive into Lady M's public speaking phobia which is unfortunate given it's literally her day-to-day job. But hey, if Trump can mess it up on the world stage, so can you! Solidarity in chaos. We explore peak millennial terrors like pronouncing words incorrectly in public and chronic oversharing that haunts you at 3am. It's chaotic, it's odd, and apparently dolls are watching us. We also tackle genuinely scary things like sleep paralysis demons with questionable festive intentions, the irrational fear of rice (yes, rice), and many many absurd ones. We've covered the full spectrum of what keeps us up at night and tbh it's mainly self-inflicted chaos.