Parenting Like a M*ther

It Snuck Out Again: The Real Reason Behind Your Child's Accidents

In this episode, I'm joined by someone I genuinely love collaborating with — Calista Powell, a pelvic floor physiotherapist at Pine Integrated Health Center here in Edmonton. And I'll be honest, before I became a psychologist and before I had kids, I would have assumed that a child having bladder or bowel accidents past a certain age was either a behavioural problem or a parenting problem. I was completely wrong — and this conversation challenged that assumption in the best way. Because what looks like defiance or laziness is almost always something happening in the body. And there is real, effective help available. Calista walks us through what's actually going on physiologically when kids struggle with accidents, why constipation is so much more complicated than most of us realize, and how anxiety and stress can create a cycle in the body that's really hard to break on your own. She also explains exactly what appointments with a pelvic floor physiotherapist actually look like for kids — because I know a lot of parents are nervous about that — and spoiler: it's nothing to be afraid of. I also share some of the ways I approach this in my own psychology practice, including why I always start with a parent session alone, and why shifting our language around accidents can make a huge difference for kids. In this episode, we talk about: * What enuresis and encopresis actually mean — in plain language * When parents should start seeking support (hint: it's earlier than you might think) * Why accidents are almost never intentional or behavioural * The surprisingly powerful connection between constipation and bladder accidents * Why your child can be constipated even if they're going every day * How anxiety and stress tighten the pelvic floor and make everything worse * The dysfunctional evacuation cycle — and why we have to break every part of it * Why laxatives alone only get you about 25% of the way there * What pelvic floor physiotherapy with kids actually looks like (no scary exams) * How to shift your language so kids feel supported instead of blamed One takeaway I hope parents remember These kids are not choosing this. There is always something more complicated going on — in their bodies, their nervous systems, or both. Our job isn't to fix their frustration or rush the process. It's to take the blame out of the equation, get curious about what's actually happening, and get them the right support. Because when we stop asking "why won't they just go?" and start asking "what's getting in the way?" — that's when things start to change. Connect with Calista: Pine Integrated Health Center — Edmonton (Calgary Trail) Holistic Fertility Group — St. Albert Instagram: @lifewithyourpelvicpt [https://www.instagram.com/lifewithyourpelvicpt] Virtual appointments available across Alberta

Raising Resilient Kids Through Sport

In this episode, I talk about something I’m really passionate about — how sports can help our kids build real resilience. But resilience isn’t what many of us think it is. It’s not about pushing through at all costs or never falling apart. In my experience as both a child psychologist and a sports parent, resilience is actually the ability to struggle, take a break when needed, and then try again. Right now our family is deep in gymnastics competition season and wrapping up soccer, so I share some personal stories from our own experiences this year. I talk about watching my daughter return to gymnastics after breaking her arm, and my son navigating a difficult soccer season where his team didn’t win a single game — but still grew tremendously. I also talk about the ways I see parents (often unintentionally) getting in the way of resilience. Things like focusing too much on scores, blaming referees or judges, or trying to fix our kids’ disappointment can actually prevent them from developing the skills they need to handle hard things. Instead, I share some of the ways we try to approach sports in our house — focusing on effort, helping our kids hold two feelings at once (proud and disappointed), and giving them space to process tough moments. Because the goal of youth sports isn’t perfection. It’s helping our kids learn that they can handle hard things. In this episode, I talk about:  • What resilience really is — and what it isn’t  • Why struggle and disappointment are an important part of growth  • How sports can create a safe environment for kids to experience failure  • Why I believe it’s important for kids to feel both proud and disappointed at the same time  • How we talk about winning and losing in our family  • The challenge of different commitment levels on youth sports teams  • The ways I sometimes see parents accidentally undermine resilience  • How we try to focus more on effort and growth instead of outcomes One takeaway I hope parents remember Resilience isn’t about raising kids who never struggle. It’s about raising kids who learn that when things go badly, they can rest, recover, and try again. Our job isn’t to protect our kids from the hard parts of sport — it’s to be there beside them while they figure out how to move through them.

Fifteen Months In: Our Family’s Type 1 Diabetes Journey

In this deeply personal episode, I share what the last 15 months have been like since my youngest was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. From the initial hospitalization to daily life now, this journey has been filled with grief, growth, resilience, and a constant mental load that few people truly understand. I talk openly about: * The relentless mental math – carb counting, insulin dosing, and the constant calculations that run in the background of every meal, snack, outing, and school day. * The invisible vigilance – checking glucose numbers overnight, sleeping in shifts, responding to alarms, and managing exhaustion while continuing to parent, work, and function. * Mood and behavior changes – how high and low blood sugars directly impact emotional regulation, memory, impulse control, and attitude — and why these shifts are biological, not character flaws. * The emotional toll on the whole family – from grief and fear to the resilience of siblings and the delicate balance of avoiding parentification. * Social challenges – navigating stares, questions, teasing, and the growing self-awareness that comes with being a 9-year-old managing a visible medical condition. * Control, guilt, and advocacy – learning to trust others, setting boundaries around her care, and embracing the role of being “that parent” who checks the numbers — unapologetically. * Food and balance – avoiding rigid restriction, protecting against disordered eating, and ensuring she still gets to be a kid who enjoys birthday cake and Christmas treats. I also share the gratitude — for supportive teachers, incredible coaches, educated grandparents, helpful technology like Loop, and a sibling who has stepped up in beautiful ways. This episode isn’t about strategies. It’s about reality. It’s about the grief of a lifelong diagnosis, the resilience of a child, and the complicated, exhausting, love-filled work of parenting a child with type 1 diabetes. If you’re parenting a child with T1D, you’re not alone. And if you’re not, I hope this gives you a window into what families are quietly carrying every single day.

When You’re Maxed Out: Honoring Your Capacity as a Parent

In this episode, I get real about what it feels like when your mental load is maxed out—and why that doesn’t make you a failure. I share a particularly rough week where workouts were skipped, work piled up, and even simple social interactions felt impossible. Through my own experiences—like a muted podcast recording, managing a full caseload, juggling office logistics, and parenting a child with chronic health needs—I explore the sneaky ways “shoulding” exhausts us and depletes our capacity. I dive into: * The trap of “shoulding” – how the voice in our head that tells us what we “should” be doing can be exhausting, judgmental, and unhelpful. * Capacity vs. character – low tolerance doesn’t mean you’re failing; it’s simply a reflection of your current capacity. * Practical strategies to honor your needs – including identifying non-negotiables vs. negotiables, outsourcing tasks, and building intentional moments of joy and rest. * Why self-care matters for your family – modeling awareness and honoring your own needs teaches your kids to do the same. I also share concrete examples from my weekend reset, like a silent massage, family support in the office, and playful experiences like puppy yoga, showing how small, intentional actions can restore energy and patience. The key takeaway: before judging yourself for low tolerance or feeling overwhelmed, pause and ask: What do I need right now? Giving yourself permission to rest and care for your own needs is not selfish—it’s essential for staying present and resilient in all areas of life.

Intrusive Thoughts in Children and Teens

In this episode, Lindsay dives into the world of intrusive thoughts in children and teens, drawing on her extensive experience treating OCD and anxiety. She explains that intrusive thoughts are sudden, unwanted thoughts, images, or urges that can be upsetting or shocking, but importantly, do not reflect a child’s desires or character. These thoughts are common in kids with OCD and anxiety and often cause guilt, shame, and fear. Lindsay differentiates intrusive thoughts from regular anxiety, noting that anxiety typically relates to real-life situations and future concerns, whereas intrusive thoughts are ego-dystonic—they conflict with a child’s values and identity. Using relatable analogies like scary movies, pop-up ads, and junk mail, she illustrates how intrusive thoughts are essentially "brain noise" that lose power when approached calmly. The episode offers three practical strategies for parents: 1. Normalize without over-reassuring – acknowledge the thought is scary but avoid giving repeated reassurance, which reinforces it. 2. Separate the child from the thought – help children externalize the thought and recognize it as random brain noise. 3. Allow the thought to exist without panic – teach children to notice the thought, label it, and continue with life, reducing its power over time. Lindsay also highlights when professional support is helpful, emphasizing the importance of therapists trained in OCD and exposure-response prevention (ERP). The key takeaway: intrusive thoughts are normal, manageable, and do not define a child. With calm, compassionate guidance, parents can help their children build resilience and respond to thoughts with understanding rather than fear, just like watching a scary movie multiple times until it’s no longer frightening.