The Empty Arms Podcast -- real stories of miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss.

Ep. 045 - Almost ours. A story of grief and hope after adoption loss.

In this deeply emotional episode of The Empty Arms Podcast, we talk about the heartbreak of a failed adoption. After opening their hearts, preparing a home, and dreaming about the child they believed would become theirs, everything changed. This conversation dives into the complicated layers of hope, faith, grief, loss, and identity that come with loving a child you never got to bring home. Farrah shares so openly about the silence surrounding disrupted adoptions, the grief that can feel invisible to others, and the courage it takes to keep moving forward after a dream falls apart. She also speaks beautifully about how this experience deepened her faith. How even in profound heartbreak and unanswered questions, she found herself leaning more fully into God and trusting Him in ways she never had before. One of the most powerful moments of this episode is when Farrah says, "Adoption loss is not the same as pregnancy or infant loss. It's different. But it's not less." Her words offer validation and compassion to families carrying a grief that is so often misunderstood or minimized. Whether you have experienced adoption loss yourself or know the ache of loving someone deeply while having to let go, this episode will remind you that your grief is real, valid, and worthy of being spoken aloud. A huge thank you to Farrah for sharing her story so vulnerably and even offering her personal contact information to listeners who may need someone who truly understands this kind of loss. Farrah can be reached at farrah.carmichael02@gordon.edu [farrah.carmichael02@gordon.edu]. This episode is sponosred by MomCo of Hampden, Maine. MomCo | Join MomCo Today - Build Your Mom Community — Discover Church Maine [https://www.discoverchurchmaine.com/momco]

Ep. 044- Sex & Intimacy after loss.

Losing a baby changes everything, including the parts of life people rarely talk about out loud. In this deeply honest episode of The Empty Arms Podcast, I sit down with Erin, board president of Empty Arms of Greater Bangor, and Sara — grief poet and sex therapist — for a conversation that is tender, brave, and profoundly needed. Together, we talk about sex and intimacy after loss: how grief can reshape our relationship with our bodies, our partners, and ourselves. We explore the ways loss can create distance, longing, fear, guilt, and even confusion in places that once felt familiar. We also talk about the unspoken pressure many bereaved parents carry, the expectation to "move forward," reconnect, or somehow return to normal when nothing feels normal anymore. Sara offers compassionate insight into how trauma and grief live in the body, while Erin brings the perspective of lived experience, leadership, and walking alongside families navigating unimaginable pain. This episode makes space for the hard truths: intimacy after loss can feel complicated. It can feel impossible. It can feel healing. Sometimes all at once. If you've ever felt alone in what loss has done to your relationship, your body, or your sense of closeness, this conversation was made with you in mind. Here is a link for a directory of sex therapists. https://www.aasect.org/referral-directory [https://www.aasect.org/referral-directory] This episode is sponsored by Bould Point Lakehouse. Check out their AirBNB here. Modern Lakehouse on Quiet Peninsula - Houses for Rent in Lakeville, Maine, United States - Airbnb [https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/1546560231983200397?source_impression_id=p3_1774901629_P3qUBuhJG-Eo-usT]

Ep. 043 – Grief Told Me I Didn't Suffer Enough: Chris & Baby Madison's Story

Fifteen years ago, Chris lost his daughter Madison, a loss that seemed unbearable yet quietly simmered beneath the surface of his life. For years, he felt the pressure of grief's unrelenting voice that told him he didn't suffer enough. That he hadn't truly faced the depth of his pain and that he should feel guilty for not being there when Madison died. He wrestled with shame, guilt, and the sense that he was "doing grief wrong." Over time, though, Chris discovered that grief is not a measure of suffering, it's a journey, unique to each person, shaped by perspective, patience, and self-compassion. He shares how the slow passage of time, the courage to feel, and the practice of honoring his emotions transformed his relationship with loss. What once felt like a relentless judgment became a teacher, guiding him toward healing, acceptance, and a deeper understanding of love and memory. Now, through his writing and work supporting others, Chris encourages those navigating grief to trust their own process, to feel what they need to feel, and to recognize that suffering is not a failure, but that it's part of a path that can ultimately lead to meaning, growth, and connection. This episode is sponsored by Bould Point Lakehouse. Check out their AirBNB here. Modern Lakehouse on Quiet Peninsula - Houses for Rent in Lakeville, Maine, United States - Airbnb [https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/1546560231983200397?source_impression_id=p3_1774901629_P3qUBuhJG-Eo-usT]

Ep. 042 - Stillbirth. Surviving the first year without Theo.

What does it really look like to survive the first year after losing your baby? In this deeply honest and tender conversation, Emlee shares the story of her son, Theo, who was stillborn at full term, a loss that shattered the world she and her husband knew. Together, they were forced to navigate not only unimaginable grief, but also the strain it placed on their relationship, their identities, and their mental health. Emlee opens up about the quiet, often unseen battles of that first year—the weight of each milestone, the loneliness, the questions, and the ways grief can seep into every corner of life. She speaks candidly about her mental health struggles, the moments she didn't think she'd make it through, and the slow, fragile process of finding her footing again. This episode is raw, real, and deeply validating for anyone walking through life after loss. It's about survival, love, and what it means to keep going when everything in you has been forever changed. This episode was sponosored by an annonymous donor.

Ep. 041 - Co-Authors Speak: NICU loss and how to journey through it.

In this episode of The Empty Arms Podcast, I sit down with Emily Souder, LCSW-C, PMH-C and Mahaley Patel, LMFT, PMH-C, co-creators of Your NICU Story, a powerful journal to help families process their NICU stay. Together, we explore the power of storytelling in grief, the importance of naming experiences that often feel unspeakable, and how words can become a lifeline for families navigating loss. Mahaley shares the story of her daughter, who died in the NICU, and the profound heartbreak of loving a child in a space filled with machines, uncertainty, hope, and fear. We talk about what it means to parent in the NICU, to grieve within it, and to carry that experience long after leaving its walls. We are also incredibly lucky to have Emily's perspective. She is certified in Perinatal Mental Health and brings to the conversation a wealth of theraputic knowledge. Her professional insight on grief adds depth and understanding to the conversation, helping guide listeners through the emotional terrain of NICU loss and remembrance. Additionally, we dive into Emily's book, Birth Story Held for Loss, discussing how writing can provide a path toward healing and the importance of honoring every story, no matter how painful. This episode holds space for NICU parents, loss parents, and anyone who has been changed by a beginning that didn't go as planned, offering compassion, understanding, and the reminder that every story matters. You can find the books here! Your NICU Story: Reflecting on Your Family's Experience: Patel, Mahaley H., Souder, Emily E.: 9781734630930: Amazon.com: Books [https://www.amazon.com/Your-NICU-Story-Reflecting-Experience/dp/1734630930/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1RKGBK3NHF5F&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.8Qj6ixRntRcE5NTe4GXb6w.QWHdpg6AI6q6wrzPFVxcpTWt4byLmHWf3LUmrOI9KTs&dib_tag=se&keywords=your+nicu+story+emily+souder+mahaley&psr=EY17&qid=1765901424&s=todays-deals&sprefix=your+nicu+story+emily+souder+mahaley%2Ctodays-deals%2C59&sr=1-1] Birth Story Held for Loss: A Guide for Reflecting on Your Fertility Experience, Miscarriage, Abortion, TFMR, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss: Souder, Emily, Brandon, Jodi: 9781734630923: Amazon.com: Books [https://www.amazon.com/Birth-Story-Held-Loss-Miscarriage/dp/1734630922/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2FIB0UC19KR2I&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.NJCNdpiMgOOX4k78d2HPUJnQoXSF--lfYVaICQ00lh0.SoEZU8A4yFqPEh-QSR1jb26ifebhCpuaGedfryZjIQc&dib_tag=se&keywords=birth+story+held+for+loss+emily+souder&qid=1765901393&sprefix=birth+story+held+for+loss+emily+souder%2Caps%2C78&sr=8-1]