The Shit Apple Podcast

Apples Love Summa ☀️🍹

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2447018/fan_mail/new] Apples Love Summa ☀️🍹 It’s our last episode before we disappear into summer mode, and what better way to send ourselves off than with a little vacation chaos? Inspired by our favorite quote from The Real Housewives of Rhode Island, we’re talking summer plans, family vacations, and the questionable decisions that happen when 14 people travel together. We break down the matching family T-shirts nobody will actually wear, reveal our summer shoe trend predictions (welcome back, wedges), and share the vacation essentials we refuse to leave home without. From heating pads and AirTags to chapstick and good coffee, our packing priorities say a lot about who we are. Then we play a round of Most Likely To, exposing which Shit Apple is most likely to miss a flight, overpack, lose everything, get hopelessly lost, or turn a random family moment into podcast material. Will we return from our East Coast adventures with funny stories, intact friendships, and all of our luggage? Only time will tell. Grab your thong sandals, book the trip, and remember: bitches and apples love summa. 🌴✈️ 🍎

Don't Invite Me If…

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2447018/fan_mail/new] Ever get invited somewhere and immediately start looking for a way out? Same. This week, we’re sharing all the reasons we’d rather stay home than say yes. From boring parties, bad food, expensive sporting events, acoustic guitar performances nobody asked for, and splitting the dinner bill when you only had two beers, nothing is off limits. We’re talking invitation deal-breakers, travel pet peeves, social obligations, group gifts, book clubs, wine nights, and the very specific conditions required for our attendance. Spoiler alert: there better be good food. Before you send that invite, you might want to listen first.

Apple Logic 101 🍎

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2447018/fan_mail/new] Apple Logic 101 🍎 Welcome to Apple Logic 101, where we expose all the irrational thoughts, unnecessary anxieties, and oddly specific pet peeves that make perfect sense… at least in our heads. This week, we’re diving into the things that instantly send us into a silent spiral: making sure everyone gets an equal number of oysters, calculating dip-to-person ratios like we’re solving advanced algebra, and wondering why people who “aren’t that hungry” always end up eating half the table. We also discuss the panic of double dippers, self-appointed rule enforcers in public, people who park themselves right next to you at the gym despite 47 open machines, and the race to beat strangers to the return line before they unload their entire trunk. Tiffany shares her ongoing battle with the relentless TJ Maxx credit card pitch, her frozen yogurt sample scandal, and why somehow all the exciting drama happens exactly 10 minutes after she leaves an event. Plus, we tackle the Irish Goodbye, the horror of being compared to people you don’t even like, and other completely ridiculous things that somehow live rent-free in our brains. If you’ve ever found yourself mentally dividing appetizers, judging line strategy, or getting irrationally annoyed by something that shouldn’t matter, congratulations… you may already have a degree in Apple Logic.

You’re Too Old For That Shit!

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2447018/fan_mail/new] This week, we’re saying what everyone else is thinking: are some people just too old for that shit? We’re diving into the habits, behaviors, and questionable life choices that make us wonder if age should come with a little more self-awareness. From entitled seniors who think being old means the rules no longer apply, to people clinging to fashion trends from their glory days, we’re covering it all. We also tackle the idea of dressing “age appropriate” (while firmly defending bikinis at any age), social media behavior, and our completely unofficial theory that whatever decade you were at your absolute hottest becomes the hairstyle and wardrobe you’re committed to for the rest of your life. As always, we’re equal parts judgmental, self-deprecating, and completely unqualified to be making these calls. Tune in and find out if you’re aging like fine wine… or if you’re officially too old for that shit. 🍎😂

Can’t Teach Old Apples New Tricks

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2447018/fan_mail/new] “Can’t Teach Old Apples New Tricks” is all about the life lessons and sayings we’ve heard forever that honestly deserve a second look. Some advice sounds inspiring until you actually apply it to real life and realize… maybe being the bigger person is overrated, maybe taking the high road just leaves you without closure, and maybe “turn the other cheek” is terrible advice depending on the situation. 🍎 We’re talking about the sayings people repeat like universal truths, the ones we strongly disagree with, the ones we secretly still believe in, and the ones that make absolutely no sense the older you get. Funny, honest, opinionated, and very relatable if you’ve ever rolled your eyes at a motivational quote on the internet.