There's Nowhere Left to Go

#ClausAnon: An Xmas Conspiracy Special! with Joel Chartkoff

The holidays are upon us, misery reigns throughout the land, and There’s Nowhere Left to Go is wrapping up our first season with a jam-packed xmas medley. Joe Biden has his hands full with a conspiracy brewing out in the Atlantic Ocean. Lia explains how to celebrate the holidays without racking up family fatalities. In other Boomer news, Bob Dylan has sold his song catalog and we couldn’t help imagine how horrible companies will ruin his songs forever, so we beat them to it. Meanwhile, we dish with musician Joel Chartkoff on the disturbing quirks of relatives and the beleaguered state of the performing arts (not to mention the performer). Finally, a special message from Super Pony to remind us of the true spirit of Christmas.

Episode 9: Black Hole Sun, Won’t Ya Come?

In this episode Lia draws on her experience as a nanny to devise a solution to the white nationalist problem (hint: it involves choo-choo trains), and Dan finds out why he and his clan was destined to vote for Biden. Meanwhile, the President-Elect takes his oratory skills to the next level with a little help from the ’90s. 12 mins

Episode 8: We’re Going to Disneyland!

Just when you thought Florida’s response to the pandemic couldn’t get any dumber, Disneyland reopened this month. In this episode we enter the belly of the beast, with Goofy and Gov DeSantis as our guides. For a more reasoned perspective, we turn to our friend Etienne Rigo, who manages a cooperative farm in the French countryside. We talk about the pandemic response there, whether we have the capability to respond collectively to collective problems, and whether Batman (as a metaphor for American policing) has too many guns.

Episode 7: Cleaning House

In this episode Lia goes Marie Kondo to contemplate the dusty nooks and crannies of our quarantine bunker. Dan gets fired up by Judy Woodruff and the establishment’s swift cleaning of house / hollow embrace of the Black Lives Matter movement. Eric Brehm considers the advantages of being an unsuccessful artist in Covid times. And the magical entity called Super Pony answers a listener’s burning quesiton: “How can we heal America?”

Episode 6: The Historical Right Now

With the smoke still clearing from weeks of civil unrest, Austin Kelley takes us around the streets of Philly. We talk flash grenades, dollar flip flops, big box vigilantism, and how it might take a magician to beat McFascism in November. Lia explains how America likes to retroactively pat itself on the back for its social progressivism, while discrediting the agents of social change in the Historical Right Now. Oh, and Prepper Bill offers some dos and don’ts on protest etiquette–but it’s not what you’d expect. Over and out.