Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

Airtight Poker Night w/ Steph Tolev | Your Mom's House Ep. 869

Christina P is back touring! Check her out in Chicago September 18th and 19th. Get your tickets at https://christinap.com/pages/tour-dates [https://christinap.com/pages/tour-dates] SPONSORS: * For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://hims.com/YMH [https://hims.com/YMH] That's https://hims.com/YMH [https://hims.com/YMH] for your free online visit. * Head to https://factormeals.com/ymh50off [https://factormeals.com/ymh50off] and use code ymh50off to get 50 percent off and free daily greens per box, with new subscription only, while supplies last until 09/27/2026. (See website for more details). * Try QUO for free PLUS get 20% off your first 6 months when you go to https://quo.com/YMH [https://quo.com/YMH]. Sup, chomos! This week, Tom Segura holds down the Mommy Dome with Steph Tolev, host of Steph Infection, produced right here at YMH Studios, and the proud owner of a brand new American citizenship. They open with a man being lowered off a New York City bus screaming "fuck your family," which spirals into roid-rage belchers on airplanes and a "NOT GUILTY!" TikTok attorney whose very satisfied client was charged with luring a minor into his vehicle. Then a listener letter from a self-described 30-year slut recounts the guys' card night that went airtight, and Tom and Steph break down the hygiene logistics nobody at that poker table considered. From there, Tom explains how a chance run-in with his old helicopter instructor ended his flying lessons for good, and Steph talks about her white fuzzy dog, and her daily walking schedule. Along the way they get into Pastor Manning's problem with blacks, a Thailand massage confession, plus Tom and Steph's combined résumé of ugly castings: Steph booking Skittles' "Ugly Princess," not fitting into the Spanx at a Bud Light fitting, and Tom's thumbs landing a Sony commercial. Plus: a homeless man shoots his shot, a man with a solid wall of 45 identical teeth, Steph's fiancé Jefferson shits the couch, the Tickle Monster nearly gets an old man killed, and Bulgaria fails to qualify for the World Cup. Enjoy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 869 https://tomsegura.com/tour [https://tomsegura.com/tour] https://christinap.com/ [https://christinap.com/] https://store.ymhstudios.com [https://store.ymhstudios.com] https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast [https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast] Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:00 - 2 Bears 5K, Blowjob Knees, & Big Noses 00:09:25 - Opening Clip: Disabled Traffic Jam 00:13:16 - Not Guilty! The Pervert's Attorney 00:18:39 - Airtight Poker Night 00:23:37 - Helicopter Crashes 00:32:14 - Pastor Manning 00:37:04 - Spa & Casting Stories 00:45:58 - Kinky Unc 00:50:21 - Great Wall Of Teeth 00:53:26 - Elevator Fart Prank 00:55:54 - Sabertooth Singles & Monster Mouth 01:00:49 - Public Pranks 01:07:39 - Closing Song - "Planes Trains and Dad Boners" by Jayzeus Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

Tripping For 7 Days Straight w/ Dave Landau | Your Mom's House Ep. 868

Become a paid channel member of YMH to get Your Mom’s House episodes one day early and AD-FREE here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYIgiXwJck_Pb5Nj-wIrsqg/join [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYIgiXwJck_Pb5Nj-wIrsqg/join] SPONSORS: -Ready to upgrade your home for way less? Head to https://www.wayfair.com [https://www.wayfair.com/] right now to shop all things home and get your space ready for less. -Right now, when you buy two months of BlueChew Gold, you get the third for FREE with promo code YMH at https://BlueChew.com [https://bluechew.com/] -Go to https://helixsleep.com/ymh [https://helixsleep.com/ymh] for 27% Off Sitewide — Exclusive for listeners of Your Mom's House. -Start your free trial at https://SHOPIFY.COM/ymh [https://shopify.com/ymh] On this week's episode, Main Mommy Christina P holds down the fart with stand-up comic Dave Landau. He's the perfect co-captain to match our dark and twisted-ness, starting with a shared love of David Lynch. After a brief interruption of a staff member (male) in short shorts, Dave recounts his trippy days totaling in approx. 400 hits. Kids these days will never understand. Christina introduces Dave to some Cool Guys and Gals including, but not limited to, a CPAP monster, a pirate, and a guy that looks eerily similar to Robin Williams in Toys. Wrapping up the episode with Christina's TikTok Curations, Dave and Christina take a few detours into closeted celebrities (shout out George Michael) and hidden toilet cams. Your Mom’s House Ep. 868 https://tomsegura.com/tour [https://tomsegura.com/tour] https://christinap.com/ [https://christinap.com/] https://store.ymhstudios.com [https://store.ymhstudios.com/] https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast [https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast] Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:04:16 - Short Shorts 00:09:48 - Opening Clip 00:15:42 - Trippy Dave 00:27:15 - Kids These Days are Screwed 00:34:51 - CPAP 00:42:04 - Pazsitzky Effects 00:45:29 - Closeted Celebs 00:55:31 - Christina's Curations 01:06:09 - Worst Cigs 01:14:08 - Hidden Toilet Cams 01:22:27 - Closing Song: Cool Girls Club By Versace Kolache Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

Alec Baldwin DEMANDS His Bag Back w/ Ryan Long | Your Mom's House Ep. 867

Christina P is back touring! Check her out in Chicago September 18th and 19th. Get your tickets at https://christinap.com/pages/tour-dates [https://christinap.com/pages/tour-dates] SPONSORS: * Visit https://www.sleep.ME/YMH [https://www.sleep.ME/YMH] and never fight with your partner at bedtime again. * Get $80 off your first month with promo code SPACE80 at https://Talkspace.com/mom [https://Talkspace.com/mom] * Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/ymh [https://shopify.com/ymh] What's up there, chomos! Tom's out. Christina P is holding down the Mommy Dome with Ryan Long, Canadian sketch comedian, content creator, and a man who recently received a cease and desist from a testosterone clinic over a joke photo. Ryan opens talking acting and shares one of his sketch videos, Doyle the OnlyFans pimp who thought he'd be living the life and spends 90% of his day rating strangers' dicks. They also open the show with Alec Baldwin fully losing his mind at over a missing bag in a video that feels like a parody. From there: Ontario passed a law allowing all women to go topless in public, the tits you actually see at the nude beach are not the ones you pictured, and Austin has a shirtless jogging epidemic with zero enforcement of chest hair standards. Plus, a cool gal accepting boyfriend applications on TikTok and Christina and Ryan do their civic duty to find her a man. They also review Cowboys for Angels, a straight male gigolo site that Ryan correctly points out uses completely gender-neutral language. Then a Tulum trip story ends with Christina inserting off-brand suppositories into her hotel mini fridge so they'd stop melting before she could use them, and the cleaning staff tidied the wrappers and put them in a glass jar. She would like you to know they were unused. Finally, Christina's TikTok Curations: a weather reporter who unexpectedly quotes Edgar Allan Poe, a body percussionist who is simply not ready, a man posting his phone number who specifically says not to ask for money, a woman who attempts parkour and lands on her face then immediately says "I'm fine," and a leg hair identity video. Enjoy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 867 https://tomsegura.com/tour [https://tomsegura.com/tour] https://christinap.com/ [https://christinap.com/] https://store.ymhstudios.com [https://store.ymhstudios.com] https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast [https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast] Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:04:37 - Opening Clip: Alec Baldwin 00:14:53 - OnlyFans Sketch 00:17:36 - Canadian White Trash 00:28:57 - Lets Help Jenny 00:39:31 - Love for Hire 00:44:21 - Swingers Resorts 00:54:30 - Hairy Canadian Woman 00:59:32 - Christina's Curations 01:11:53 - Closing Song - "How You Say Cucumber" by Micah Akervold Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

Creditmaxxing A Decade Of Debt w/ Caleb Hammer | Your Mom's House Ep. 866

Christina P is back touring! Check her out in Chicago September 18th and 19th. Get your tickets at https://christinap.com/pages/tour-dates [https://christinap.com/pages/tour-dates] SPONSORS: * Look for Mountain Dew in stores near you at https://mountaindew.com [https://mountaindew.com]. * Go to https://quince.com/mom [https://quince.com/mom] for free shipping and 365-day returns * Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/ymh [https://shopify.com/ymh] * For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/YMH [https://hims.com/YMH]. Sup, chomos! This week, Caleb Hammer, host of Financial Audit joins the Mommy Dome to talk money, mayhem, and the chaos of his own show. Caleb grew up broke and clawed his way out of massive debt, all while interviewing some of the internet's most financially unhinged people on Financial Audit. The conversation covers the actual hard math behind why most Americans can't survive an $800 rent payment, the case for buying a house even when renting is cheaper, and how nearly 40 states now require a personal finance class in high school, which means "nobody told me" will officially stop working as an excuse. Caleb also breaks down the wildest things his guests have said on camera, including unprompted racism, casual tax evasion confessions, and one woman who's never filed a return in her life with zero consequences. They also run through Horrible or Hilarious clips, debate whether financial domination clients just need to "drop the N-word" more, and dive deep into Mike Fedele, the only tax man offering both IRS advice and detailed sexual positioning tips in the same breath. Caleb also opens up about a serious flying phobia that led him to charter a tiny private jet just to feel in control, and gets talked into a future helicopter ride by Tom. Enjoy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 866 https://tomsegura.com/tour [https://tomsegura.com/tour] https://christinap.com/ [https://christinap.com/] https://store.ymhstudios.com [https://store.ymhstudios.com] https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast [https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast] Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:26 - Delusions, Maxed Credit Cards, & Decades of Debt 00:05:14 - Building Financial Audit From Scratch 00:17:28 - Opening Clip: Hey Retard 00:18:53 - The "Blackie" Cruise Couple & Hard R Drops 00:27:35 - YMH Staff Financial Questions & Confessions 00:34:16 - 50/30/20 Budgeting, Diverse Portfolios, & Success Stories 00:41:37 - Mike The Tax Guy 00:46:37 - Cool Sales Pitches 00:47:58 - Horrible Or Hilarious 00:50:17 - General Advice & Fear Of Flying 00:56:26 - Clip: Leaky Rump 00:57:32 - Clip: Fancy Chef Wants To Meet The Mayor 00:59:11 - Austin Property Taxes & Niagara Falls 01:03:51 - More YMH Staff Confessions 01:08:41 - Food Stamps, Roommates & The Best Head Debate 01:15:51 - Closing Song - "Brass Tax" by The Onibaka Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

Using Amazon For Body Disposal w/ Duncan Trussell | Your Mom's House Ep. 865

Gape your 4th eye with Kurt Metzger and Duncan Trussell's new podcast Mystery Boys and get to the bottom of what's really going on in the world: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-i3EV1v5hLdsQknDbyTEDhROmB-qoGg7 [https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-i3EV1v5hLdsQknDbyTEDhROmB-qoGg7] SPONSORS: * If you're struggling with OCD or unrelenting intrusive thoughts, NOCD can help. Book a free 15 minute call to get started: https://learn.nocd.com/YMH [https://learn.nocd.com/YMH] * You can get $5 off your next order, including the Protein Pastries, at https://MagicSpoon.com/YMH [https://MagicSpoon.com/YMH]. * Try QUO for free PLUS get 20% off your first 6 months when you go to https://quo.com/YMH [https://quo.com/YMH]. * For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/YMH [https://hims.com/YMH]. What's up , chomos! Tom's traveling, so Christina P brings back Duncan Trussell, Mystery Boys co-host and a man whose stated life philosophy is permanent, undisclosed arousal. They open the show with another offering from the Horny Cowboy, who we learn has Howie Mandel as a follower, and a "hog reveal" so disappointing you'll wish he really did whip it out. After that, thongs as bacterial superhighways, why orgies sound exhausting, and Duncan's never-before-told stint as a sex worker who was, infuriatingly, only ever booked by women. Then it's off to Bicycle Day, the true story of Albert Hofmann accidentally inventing LSD while trying to help women give birth. They detour into body disposal logistics on Amazon, airport stress-piss theory, and Disney Adult shirts for every condition imaginable. Yes, even erectile dysfunction! Christina's TikTok curations close us out, featuring an Austin rap guy, a woman live-documenting her suspiciously cinematic bedtime routine, a separate woman convinced she's married to a Shia LaBeouf clone, homeless-removal drone fantasies, and amateur gimp training. Duncan has some really serious thoughts on gimps too. Enjoy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 865 https://tomsegura.com/tour [https://tomsegura.com/tour] https://christinap.com/ [https://christinap.com/] https://store.ymhstudios.com [https://store.ymhstudios.com] https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast [https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast] Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:03:41 - Stick My Dick In A Fan 00:09:26 - Opening Clip: Flash Your Lady 00:19:18 - Hog Reveal, Swinger Lingo & Orgy Logistics 00:25:40 - Sex Worker Confession 00:32:33 - Clip: Dracula Ass Pool 00:36:47 - Airport Bathrooms 00:42:25 - How to Dispose of a Body 00:46:22 - Bicycle Day: The Untold Story of LSD 00:51:53 - Disney Adults & Disney Diseases 01:03:10 - Christina's TikTok Curations 01:10:33 - The Shia LaBeouf Clone Conspiracy 01:20:47 - More TikToks 01:30:56 - Poser Gimps 01:38:57 - Closing Song - "FaceFat" by Jasilisk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]