The Parenting Pair Podcast

How to Support a Grieving Teen or Child | Parenting Through Loss

Grief can look very different in children, tweens, and teens — and many parents are left wondering how to best support their child while navigating their own loss at the same time. In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen sit down with grief expert Dr. Julie Kaplow to discuss how grief shows up in adolescents and families, what healthy grieving can look like, and how parents can respond with compassion, flexibility, and support. Together, they explore: * How grief presents differently in kids, tweens, and teens * Why there is no “right way” or timeline for grieving * When therapy may or may not be necessary * How parents can support grieving children while managing their own emotions * What happens when family members grieve differently * Why some teens hide their distress to protect their parents * Community grief and collective trauma * Signs a child or teen may need additional mental health support * Helpful coping strategies and grief resources for families Highlights from this episode: 00:00 — Everyone Grieves Differently: Understanding Loss as a Family 00:25 — Parenting Through Grief: Supporting Kids After Loss 01:07 — Meet National Grief Expert and clinical psychologist Dr. Julie Kaplow 02:04 — How Grief Shows Up in Children, Tweens, and Teens 04:43 — Does Every Grieving Child Need Therapy? 06:43 — How Parents Can Support Kids Through Grief and Loss 09:55 — Practical Ways to Help Children Cope With Grief 12:33 — When Family Members Grieve on Different Timelines 15:01 — Letting Go of Pressure During the Grieving Process 17:15 — When Parents Are Grieving Too: Supporting Your Child While Struggling Yourself 20:23 — Healthy Coping Strategies for Grieving Children and Teens 22:17 — Why Teens May Hide Their Grief From Parents 27:15 — Navigating Community Grief and Collective Loss 29:35 — Signs a Grieving Child or Teen May Need Extra Support 31:37 — Helpful Grief Resources for Parents and Families 33:46 — What If You Feel Like You Handled Grief “Wrong”? This conversation offers practical parenting guidance, emotional reassurance, and evidence-based insight for families coping with loss, grief, trauma, and major life transitions. Whether your family is navigating the death of a loved one, community tragedy, divorce, illness, or another profound loss, this episode aims to help parents feel more supported and less alone. Resources discussed in this episode: TAG Center Virtual Learning Library- contains a number of free webinars and resources for parents (including the Power of Parenting series designed to help parents support their children after various types of deaths):   https://mmhpi.org/work/trauma-grief-center/virtual-learning-library/ [https://url.emailprotection.link/?bZpHzQvaCRYO3mvddSbs5DIFZCTDZHowU5fJVt5riQr3O9mNtekBvDuBOWDmlnwv0UWHax1vDnC4h7e3GP10NA90WIk6-pM-iwHcnclld1rIE93TF7QB2FsFRB-dQePvI] Lucine Center for Trauma and Grief- provides teletherapy to children and adolescents who have experienced trauma or loss:   https://lucinecenter.com/ [https://url.emailprotection.link/?bQc1SLNicq-YhUfaGRtZiHa0ivDCyJ_M-Pd_JPb1wt1dTCfLJGFyhj7yc2f5sxoT7kljs1R1M2_HQIjRMqhJHIA~~] The Meadows Mental Health Policy Institute works at the intersection of policy and programs to create equitable systemic changes so all people in Texas, the nation, and the world can obtain the health care they need. https://mmhpi.org/ [https://mmhpi.org/] The Hackett Center’s mission is to provide independent, non-partisan, and trusted policy and program guidance in Greater Houston and the Gulf Coast region to improve services and systems so that all Texans can obtain effective mental health care. https://mmhpi.org/work/the-hackett-center/ [https://mmhpi.org/work/the-hackett-center/] 🔔 New episodes every Wednesday — subscribe so you never miss one. ✉️ Newsletter: https://drscaronandallen.com [https://drscaronandallen.com/]  📱 Instagram: @theparentingpair  💬 Questions or topic suggestions: hello@theparentingpair.com

Parenting Through Tattoos, Piercings & Teen Identity Changes

Why do tweens and teens suddenly want tattoos, second piercings, dramatic hair changes, or other appearance changes? And how should parents respond without overreacting, shutting down communication, or creating conflict? In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen explore why appearance becomes such an important part of identity development during adolescence and how parents can approach these moments with curiosity, boundaries, and connection. The conversation covers: * Why appearance matters so much during the tween and teen years * The developmental drive for identity and independence * How to respond when your child wants a tattoo, piercing, or other change * The importance of considering age, permanence, and safety * Why curiosity works better than immediate judgment * How parents can stay connected while still holding limits * Why these conversations don’t have to become power struggles Whether your tween wants a second piercing or your teen is asking for a tattoo, this episode offers practical, compassionate parenting guidance rooted in clinical psychology and adolescent development. If you’re parenting tweens, teens, or college-age kids, this episode will help you navigate appearance changes with more confidence, calm, and connection. Here are some highlights from the episode: 00:00 — Teens Want to Change Their Appearance - Now What? 01:37 — Why Appearance Feels So Important in Adolescence 02:59 — Middle School & Identity: When Independence Begins 05:21 — Get Curious About the Change 07:44 — 3 Things Parents Should Consider First 08:00 — 1) Consider Your Teen’s Age & Development 10:04 — 2) Temporary vs Permanent Appearance Changes 13:04 — 3) Safety Concerns Parents Should Think About 18:41 — How to Talk to Your Teen About Appearance Changes 19:31 — Leading With Curiosity Instead of Judgment 21:01 — Using Delay as a Parenting Tool 22:40 — Final Thoughts: It Doesn’t Have to Be All or Nothing 🔔 New episodes every Wednesday — subscribe so you never miss one. ✉️ Newsletter: https://drscaronandallen.com [https://drscaronandallen.com/]  📱 Instagram: @theparentingpair  💬 Questions or topic suggestions: hello@theparentingpair.com

Why Your Teen Won't Open Up (And What Actually Helps)

What if the key to better communication with your teen… isn’t having the right answers, but asking better questions? In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen explore the power of curiosity in parenting—and why becoming genuinely interested in your teen’s inner world can transform your relationship. Many parents find themselves jumping to conclusions, offering advice too quickly, or reacting from their own anxiety or fear. But these patterns—while well-intentioned—can unintentionally create distance. Instead, Dr. Caron and Dr. Allen introduce a different approach: one rooted in wondering, openness, and connection. In this episode, you’ll learn: * Why curiosity is one of the most powerful parenting tools * The common barriers that block connection (assumptions, judgment, urgency to teach, parental anxiety) * The “I wonder” reframe  * What curiosity looks like in real-life conversations * How to ask questions in a way that feels safe and respectful * How to be firm AND curious when your teen won't engage * Why giving your teen space can actually strengthen your relationship Your teen doesn't need you to have all the answers — they need to feel genuinely understood. This episode shows you how to build that curiosity muscle in small everyday moments, so it's there when you need it most. Here are some highlights from the episode: 00:00 The Power of Curiosity in Parenting 02:22 What It Really Means to Be Curious as a Parent 05:07 Assumptions That Block Connection with Your Teen 06:21 Judgments That Get in the Way of Understanding 07:45 The Urge to Teach (And Why It Backfires) 09:39 How Parental Anxiety Impacts Curiosity 10:48 What Curiosity Looks Like in Real Life Parenting 14:17 How to Ask Questions Without Triggering Defensiveness 16:53 Why Giving Your Teen Space Matters 17:17 How to Be Both Firm and Curious as a Parent 20:01 Final Takeaways: Building Curiosity Into Your Parenting 🔔 New episodes every Wednesday — subscribe so you never miss one. ✉️ Newsletter: https://drscaronandallen.com [https://drscaronandallen.com/]  📱 Instagram: @theparentingpair  💬 Questions or topic suggestions: hello@theparentingpair.com

When Your Teen Becomes Physically Aggressive: What Parents Need to Know and Do

What should parents do when a teen becomes aggressive — or even physically threatening? In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen address one of the most difficult and rarely talked-about experiences in parenting: feeling afraid of your own child. They break down why explosive or aggressive behavior can emerge in teens, and how parents can respond in ways that prioritize safety, de-escalation, and long-term connection. In this episode, you'll learn:  ✔️ Why teen aggression can happen — from brain development to individual vulnerabilities  ✔️ The difference between isolated incidents and genuinely concerning patterns  ✔️ Key warning signs parents should not ignore  ✔️ How to de-escalate intense situations safely (and what not to do)  ✔️ When to involve a trusted adult, therapist, or support system  ✔️ How to create a simple, realistic safety plan for your family  ✔️ When it may be necessary to call mobile crisis or 911  ✔️ How to reconnect and move forward after a difficult incident Whether this has happened once or is becoming a pattern, this episode offers clear, compassionate, and practical guidance — and reminds parents: you are not alone. 📺 Chapters 00:00 How Common Is Teen Aggression? What the Research Shows 01:38 A Parent's Real Question: "I'm Afraid of My Own Son" 03:15 Safety is Paramount 04:03 Why This Happens: The Teenage Brain Explained 04:58 Why This Happens: ADHD, Anxiety & Other Contributing Factors 06:13 Why This Happens: Environment, Stress & Triggers 06:54 Isolated Incident or Pattern? How to Tell the Difference 08:11 Warning Signs: Red Flags Parents Shouldn’t Ignore 11:22 What to Do in the Moment of Violent Behavior 12:07 De-Escalation Strategies That Actually Work 14:31 When to Involve a Trusted Adult or Support System 16:46 Safety Planning: How to Prepare Ahead of Time 19:45 When to Call 911 or Mobile Crisis Services 21:14 What to Do After a Violent Incident 28:01 What Now? Next Steps for Parents 🔔 New episodes every Wednesday — subscribe so you never miss one. ✉️ Newsletter: https://drscaronandallen.com [https://drscaronandallen.com/]  📱 Instagram: @theparentingpair  💬 Questions or topic suggestions: hello@theparentingpair.com

Breaking the Cycle of Parenting Anxiety: How to Raise Resilient Kids Without Reinforcing Avoidance

What does it really mean to raise a resilient child in a culture that tells us to protect them from discomfort at all costs? In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen are joined by clinical psychologist and author Dr. Meredith Elkins to unpack the growing pressure of intensive parenting—and why, despite our best intentions, it may be increasing anxiety in both parents and kids. Drawing from her book Parenting Anxiety: Breaking the Cycle of Worry and Raising Resilient Kids, Dr. Elkins explores the powerful shift toward authoritative parenting, and how we can support our children without over-accommodating their fears. Together, they dive into: * Why intensive parenting can backfire * How avoidance fuels anxiety in kids and teens * What it actually looks like to “avoid avoidance” in everyday parenting * The role of validation—and where parents can get stuck * How to model courage while still feeling anxious * Why addressing your own anxiety as a parent matters * The concept of psychological flexibility and how it supports long-term resilience This episode offers practical, compassionate guidance for parents navigating anxiety—both their child or teen’s and their own—while staying grounded in what truly helps kids grow. If you’ve ever wondered how to support your child or teen through discomfort without “fixing” everything, this conversation will give you a clear and reassuring path forward. Here are some highlights from the episode: 00:00 Intensive Parenting vs. Authoritative Parenting: Key Differences 00:55 Book Spotlight: Parenting Anxiety – Breaking the Cycle of Worry and Raising Resilient Kids 01:51 What Is Intensive Parenting—and Why It Can Backfire 03:39 Modern Parenting Pressure: Cultural Messages Shaping Parents Today 05:36 Dr. Elkin’s story – How Irish Stepdance Inspired This Book 10:25 Authoritative Parenting: Why It Matters for Raising Resilient Kids 11:59 How Avoidance Fuels Anxiety in Kids and Teens 14:31 Validating Anxiety: Why It Matters (and When It Goes Too Far) 19:44 What “Avoiding Avoidance” Looks Like in Parenting 22:55 Supportive Statements: What to Say to an Anxious Child or Teen 24:44 Modeling Courage: How to Be Brave While Feeling Nervous 28:26 When Parents Need Support: Addressing Your Own Anxiety 30:34 3 Key Developmental Markers to Watch Across the Lifespan 32:08 Psychological Flexibility Explained for Parents 36:12 There’s No One “Right” Parenting Choice: Embracing Uncertainty For more information about Dr. Meredith Elkins or to purchase her book please visit her at https://www.meredithelkinsphd.com/ or on instagram @drmeredithelkins 🔔 New episodes every Wednesday — subscribe so you never miss one. ✉️ Newsletter: https://drscaronandallen.com [https://drscaronandallen.com/]  📱 Instagram: @theparentingpair  💬 Questions or topic suggestions: hello@theparentingpair.com