Ep. 39 - “Stop Raising Soft Kids” – with author Jeff Nelligan
In this episode of WHOA DAD! GO DAD!, I sit down with author and parent to three badass men, Jeff Nelligan, to talk about a hard truth: the clock on fatherhood starts earlier than we think—and resilience doesn’t magically appear at 18. Jeff shares how raising three sons (now all military officers, including one who pursued a waiver for professional rugby) shaped his latest short, punchy book: Four Lessons for My Three Sons: How You Can Raise a Resilient Kid.
We also get into why so many young adults are struggling right now—and Jeff brings stats that should stop every parent in their tracks:
-Gen Z is roughly 71 million people
-45% of 18–32-year-olds still live at home
-40% have a chronic condition before age 30
-Roughly 1 out of 3 report feeling hopeless/depressed/“despairing”
-56% are overweight or obese
-48% say they’re online almost constantly
-Kids ages 10–18 average 8 hours 47 minutes/day on a device (not including homework)
-Kids ages 3–5 average ~110 minutes/day of screen time
-And when it comes to early work-life readiness (surveys Jeff cites): 6 out of 10 Gen Z hires are fired within the first year, 40% within the first two months, and about 1 out of 3 bring a parent to meet the hiring manager
From there, our conversation moves into what fathers can actually do: micro-tests of independence, controlled discomfort, real accountability, and a repeatable way to build kids who can handle pressure and responsibility.
What you’ll hear in this episode:
-Why Jeff believes 75% of the time you’ll ever spend with your kids is gone by age 12
-How to build “acclimation to responsibility” through small reps
-The leadership mantra Jeff learned in infantry training: assess, adapt, advance
-The four pillars Jeff used to shape his sons: courtesy & conduct, confidence, resilience, and ambition
-Three practical actions you can implement immediately: device control, nightly walks, and reading rituals
-A powerful closing reflection: what Jeff hopes his sons say about him someday—humor, guidance, and grit
If you’re raising young kids and you feel the stakes of the modern world—distraction, softness, anxiety, and confusion—this episode is a direct, practical reminder:
Resilience is trained, not wished for.
Grab Jeff's Book- "Four Lessons From My Three Sons: How You Can Raise A Resilient Kid:"
(https://a.co/d/0ej5vTxi)
Connect with Jeff on LinkedIn:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeff-nelligan-8277654/
Onward!
-Dave Momper
Leadership Coach and Brand New Dad
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