I'd Rather Be Reading

So excited to be back with you and our guest today, Megan Hellerer, author of Directional Living: A Transformational Guide to Fulfillment in Work and Life, which came out last September 24. In this book, Megan introduces us to the concept of the underfulfilled overachiever—and I bet there are many of you listening, like myself, who will completely resonate with that term. Underfulfilled overachievers, Megan writes, have been taught the concept of destinational living—but through her book, as the title suggests, Megan is introducing a new way forward, a more fulfilling way forward: directional living. Of course, Megan talks all about what that means in today’s episode, and why this is the better way. We talk about how to begin this paradigm shift and the five phases it takes to do so; what a “fulfillment ache” is; the difference between a fear self and a true self; and so much more. Megan is a career coach and the founder of the appropriately named Coaching for Underfulfilled Overachievers. She has worked with hundreds to transform their lives by transforming their careers, and she is a Stanford graduate, a former Google executive, and sees her mission and purpose now to provide others with the support and guidance that she needed when she was struggling. She has been featured everywhere from Vogue to The Wall Street Journal, CNBC, New York, and The Times, and I’m really excited for you to meet her. Directional Living: A Transformational Guide to Fulfillment in Work and Life [https://www.amazon.com/Directional-Living-Transformational-Guide-Fulfillment/dp/0593299272] by Megan Hellerer

One of the most popular books of 2025 so far is Dr. Judith Joseph’s High Functioning: Overcome Your Hidden Depression and Reclaim Your Joy, which introduces us to the concept of High Functioning Depression—where you may look fine on the outside but don’t feel fine on the inside. When people think of depression, they most likely think of “can’t get out of bed” depression—but what about the lesser-known side of depression, the one that mostly stays hidden? If you are going through a time in your life where everything feels off, if you’re struggling to find joy in happy moments, if you’re walking around feeling numb, if you feel restless when you aren’t busy or empty when you’re sitting still—this book and this conversation might be for you. Today, Dr. Joseph and I talk about anhedonia—a word I had never heard of before she introduced me to it—and her five Vs, which are the crux of the book: validation, venting, values, vitals, and vision. The five Vs are our way out of High Functioning Depression, which I call HFD throughout the episode. Dr. Joseph talks about how trauma plays into HFD and so much more—it’s such a rich conversation. Dr. Joseph is a board-certified child, adolescent, and adult psychiatrist and researcher who specializes in mental health and trauma. She is the founder and chief investigator at Manhattan Behavioral Medicine, New York City’s premier clinical research site, a clinical assistant professor in child and adolescent psychiatry at NYU’s medical center, and chairwoman of the Women in Medicine Board at Columbia. She’s extremely popular on social media and holds an undergraduate degree from Duke as well as a medical doctorate and a master’s in business administration from Columbia. All of this, and the one and only Mel Robbins wrote the foreward for this book—further proof that it’s such an important read. High Functioning: Overcome Your Hidden Depression and Reclaim Your Joy [https://www.amazon.com/High-Functioning-Overcome-Depression-Reclaim/dp/0316577294] by Dr. Judith Joseph

Today on the show I’m thrilled to have Sophie Gilbert, author of Girl on Girl: How Pop Culture Turned a Generation of Women Against Themselves, which came out April 29. This book looks specifically at the late 1990s and early 2000s—when both Sophie and I were coming of age—as an inflection point, when the energy of feminism collapsed and regressed into a period of hyper-objectification, sexualization, and infantilization. This book examines the era across movies, music, fashion, television, tabloid journalism, the ever-present paparazzi and more and paints a picture of a vicious attack against women in the spotlight and damaging trickle down effects for those who weren’t. Not shockingly, what happened in the early 21st century still has consequences today, and Sophie and I are digging into it. We talk about a great many things in this episode, and I want to fill you in on a bit about Sophie: she is a staff writer at The Atlantic, where she writes about books, television, and pop culture. She is the winner of the 2024 National Magazine Award for Reviews and Criticism and was a finalist for the 2022 Pulitzer Prize in Criticism. Girl on Girl follows 2023’s book of essays, On Womanhood: Bodies, Literature, Choice, and I’m excited for you to hear from her and all she has to say.  Girl on Girl: How Pop Culture Turned a Generation of Women Against Themselves [https://www.amazon.com/Girl-Culture-Generation-Against-Themselves/dp/0593656296] by Sophie Gilbert

I am thrilled to have Amina AlTai here with me today to talk about her new book The Ambition Trap: How to Stop Chasing and Start Living, which is out May 13. Here’s what I love about this book, among many things, honestly—it is billed as “the anti-hustle guide to getting what you really want,” and it delivers. If you are experiencing or have experienced burnout, overwork, and stress when it comes to your ambition, then this book is for you. This book helps us escape the ambition trap—and don’t worry, Amina tells us in this episode what that is—and step instead into joy-filled work. This is such a great book and a great conversation! She has taught me that we can be ambitious and not sacrifice ourselves in the process. Hallelujah! It turns out that maybe we’re not looking for money or status but really acceptance and belonging. I know I’ve outsourced my self-worth externally for a great many years, and spoiler alert—that doesn’t work. If you, like me, are ready to reconcile your ambition, let’s heal our core wounds and get to the other side together, escaping the ambition trap once and for all. Today Amina and I talk about why ambition is complicated, especially for historically excluded people; how ambition is not up and to the right and isn’t a linear journey; why being an ambitious woman is somehow still not acceptable, even in 2025; the difference between painful ambition and purposeful ambition; how hustle culture became so pervasive, anyway; what the resentment line is—trust me, you’ll want to know all about that; and what healthy ambition looks like and a microstep we can take even as soon as today to get there. Amina is an executive coach, leadership trainer, and chronic illness advocate that has been featured everywhere from The New York Times to NBC, CBS, Forbes, and more. She’s an expert-in-residence at Entrepreneur Magazine and was named one of Success Magazine’s Women of Influence, and she’s partnered with companies like Google, Snap, Roku, and Outdoor Voices. I not only enjoyed this conversation, but I deeply appreciated it. The Ambition Trap: How to Stop Chasing and Start Living [https://www.amazon.com/Ambition-Trap-Chasing-Start-Living/dp/0593655303] by Amina AlTai

Once again, we don’t often have fiction picks on I’d Rather Be Reading, but usually every year I leave you with a fiction book of the summer around this time of year—and here is one for you: Hotter in the Hamptons by none other than Tinx, who is my esteemed guest today! In case you’re in the 1 percent of the population who isn’t familiar with Tinx, she is an influencer that has become known as “TikTok’s older sister” because of her advice about relationships and mental health. Her name is Christina Najjar, and her content focuses on celebrity commentary, dating advice, and so-called “starter packs for rich moms.” She attended Stanford and Parsons School of Design, and she too is a podcaster, hosting the It’s Me, Tinx podcast. She has written a nonfiction book that came out in 2023 called The Shift: Change Your Perspective, Not Yourself, which tackles topics like self-confidence, friendships, dating, and more; now she’s got a novel, Hotter in the Hamptons, coming out May 6, and it is as juicy as it gets. Tinx is already a New York Times bestselling author from her first book, and I fully expect her to become one again with Hotter in the Hamptons. There’s so much in the book that is compelling—love, sex, friendship, fashion, influencer culture, the Hamptons—it’s difficult for me to cover fiction because I just want to give it all away, but I refuse to do that. I found Tinx to be absolutely lovely; her calming, soothing voice will instantly relax you. I hope you enjoy this conversation and this book. Take a listen! Hotter in the Hamptons [https://www.amazon.com/Hotter-Hamptons-Novel-Tinx/dp/1464245371] by Tinx