Contradiction Queen

8. Did Curiosity Kill the Cat? My Thoughts on Gender Identity

First things first, I realize I misspoke on male and female chromosomes. My energy moves fast and sometimes I do that in real time. The more hilarious part is that I actually wrote it down for myself and still fucked it up when I said it out loud. Oh well, I’m human! Plus, on my page we celebrate “mistakes” and our humanity! It’s the classic Line 3 MG experience happening through me and I am happy to model the absolute perfection in the imperfection for all of you! I hope you enjoy the episode, even with this little blip… I sure did enjoy recording it! This episode is a big fuck you to the belief systems that have kept me small and cut me off from shining one of my brightest lights… that is, sharing my unique perspective! In today’s episode I share my thoughts and curiosities on the, all too often, off limits topic of gender identity. My love for all humans everywhere, my deep trust in the body, and my belief that nature makes no mistakes have left me with much to say on the topic and simultaneously speechless at times, from what I see going on in the world. While I didn’t touch on the topic of (masculine) containment in this episode, that too is a factor that I see missing from the equation. Perhaps I will share more about that in a part two. A few of the questions I explore: Are the “right” questions being asked? How does one know how it feels to be a male/female, boy/girl, man/woman? Is it possible to be born in the “wrong” body? Are we actually aligning with the fears, stories, and hatred that we claim to be in opposition to when we subscribe to the transgender philosophy? Are we actually perpetuating self hatred and hatred for the other by disowning parts of the whole (in this case, gender)? How can one be honoring the self while denying parts of the self (his/her gender)? What is the real fuck you to the system? I hope you enjoy this exploration as much as I enjoyed sharing it. As I was recently reminded, I am a “rebel with a cause” (Human Design) and I must use my voice for others to know where to find me and my work. So, with that, let the revolution begin! Big love! XO~Amanda

7. Integration and Manifestation

In this episode I share how my block to manifesting was actually not a problem with manifesting at all. I get into how a series of events over my birthday week brought me face to face with my own limitations. I discuss how fear, shadows, and conditioning can hold us back and what I did to shift my energy in an instant. I share a bit about the foundation I had laid and the noticing practices that allowed me to make such a quick shift. I also discuss how sometimes our blind spots keep us from seeing and/or receiving the miracles on offer. One other important topic I cover is how opening more widely to receivership is something I’m currently practicing as I expand into my feminine even more (although all beings have masculine and feminine energy, so this episode is for everyone!). This is a short episode so that’s the jest of it. Have a listen, get inspired, and watch the magic happen!

6. Integrity with the Self

In this episode I follow the thread of “I always know what is best for me” into the theme of “integrity with the self.” I discuss how learning to listen to and trust my body offered me a window into my own inner knowing and an invitation to practice living from that space more. I share how making the commitment to live in this way has up-leveled my life over and over and given me a peace beyond logic. One question I pose in this episode is, “what good is what I have learned from everything I’ve been through if I don’t put that learning into practice?” This is a jumping off point for discussion on how our conditioning can challenge us to stay where we are, even when it’s not in our best and highest good. Our souls want to evolve! So then, why would others not want us to start listening to our own inner knowing? I get into that as well as how to clearly see who supports our highest good and who wants control. I share what I mean by “integrity with the self” and how it aligns us with higher power as well as some of the positive aspects of living life from this place. I also give one or two examples of how to start playing with it now. A few other points covered are the importance of facing ourselves and truly looking, even if there is something being revealed that we don’t want to see; the difficulties you may face when making this your practice; and why developing trust in ourselves is key. This one is a quick and easy conversation that I hope you’ll enjoy. Big love! XO ~Amanda

5. More to the Story - Gifts the Wound Offered

When listening to last week’s episode it quickly dawned on me… there’s more! My story did not end in wounding and even thought I think I made that pretty clear last week, I wanted to share a few of the specific gifts this particular wounding offered me. So, in this episode I share how childhood rape and experiences of feeling unloved (via not being given to) rooted me deep in my body, taught me I can trust my inner knowing above all else, gave me the courage to voice my truth, and offered me a powerful understanding that I’ve always got my own back. We always have the opportunity to work with our wounding rather than choosing to ignore or bypass it. It is my belief that when we choose to enter the wound and have the courage to face what we find there, we are offered many opportunities for healing, upgrades, and total transformation. It is always in our greatest pain that we have the potential to find our greatest pleasure, and that is exactly what I get into in today’s episode. I discuss how I received the superpower of knowing I can trust my body at the tender age of five. I also share how that knowing set the stage for an easy opening to my spiritual gifts and psychic abilities as they became more apparent in my life. I get into how my divorce was an initiation of sorts for me, a rite of passage into the next iteration of my soul’s path, more joy, and even deeper trust in myself. I share how a switch flipped for me when I realized if I’m not loved for who I truly am, then I’m not loved at all and how I became willing to risk it all in order to be truly loved for the authentic me. Even more, I learned that my style - the way I live life, the way I dress, the way I show up in the world, including my rebellion - is the very reason people will love me, so owning my exquisite nature and living my truth is a MUST. Finally I touched on how I became incredibly high functioning as a way of dealing with PTSD and how that supported me in many ways, while holding me back in others. Knowing I can do it on my own and that I’ve always got my own back is a great feeling and has served me well, I just don’t want to always live in that space. As always, I share my experience in hopes it will inspire you to walk your own path with a greater awareness of mind, body, spirit, and soul. Big love!

4. Eclipse Portal - Revelations, Embodiment, and Integrations

In this episode I share my revelations post the Mercury Retrograde, Scorpio Full Moon, Eclipse Portal. There were many beautiful astrological events during the month of April and it was a wild ride. Spirit and Goddess were working their magic taking me deep, deep within and far out into other realms. I share how I could barely formulate a sentence for a week or two, what revelations came about during this big time of transformation, and how my embodiment practices are more important now than ever. I go into how I processed through some specific childhood experiences, my meaning making process around those experiences, how that has impacted my relationships, and how I’m shifting it all now. I'm taking you through my process in real time, as I am still in the unfolding now. I visit what it's like to be in the mush and why that is absolutely necessary for growth and transformations. I share what it was like for me to go to hell and back and why I’m now dancing with the goddess bigger, bolder, and more vibrantly than ever. I talk about my struggles with keeping myself small, not charging a high enough entry price to be in my life, my struggles to feel worthy of love (or gifts, as that is my love language), and not knowing how to receive. This one gets juicy. I did my best to walk the line between saying just enough and not too much, in hopes that you will learn from my experience and feel empowered to create a better life as you do. As always, big love and keep going!