If I Speak

124: Are you afraid of being ordinary?

Trapped in the attention economy, Moya wonders if our reading habits are affecting our sense of self, and Ash offers a feminist analysis of ‘main character’ versus ‘NPC’. Plus: what to do when your politics drift away from your friends’. Get tickets for Ash at the Southbank Centre [https://www.southbankcentre.co.uk/whats-on/ash-sarkar-the-future-of-relationships/] on 26 September. Get tickets for Heated: Carnival Afters [https://ra.co/events/2454988] at Vespers on 30 August. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

123: How can I get better at dealing with rejection?

Ash dreams up a whole new category – Disasterclass – in order to talk about inevitable pain of rejection. Whether it’s jobs, romance, friends or success, how much damage can rejection ultimately cause? Plus: early reviews of the Andy Burnham era. Get tickets for Ash at the Southbank Centre [https://www.southbankcentre.co.uk/whats-on/ash-sarkar-the-future-of-relationships/] on 26 September. Get tickets for Symeon Brown in conversation [https://www.ticketsource.com/bernie-grant-arts-centre/t-gljolyk] at the Bernie Grant Arts Centre in North London on 5 August. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

122: Can you change who you’re attracted to? w/ Annie Lord

Former Vogue agony aunt Annie Lord joins Ash and Moya to talk about what happens if you let go of your ‘type’ and allow your romantic ideals to change. Her debut novel, The Project [https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/474106/the-project-by-lord-annie/9781787305465], is out now. (NB: Annie recommends Sharon Olds’ poetry collection Stag’s Leap.) Plus: advice for a man who’s feeling romantically jaded. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

121: Is it time to stop height-shaming men?

Ash and Moya answer a not-so-mystery question about male self-image and whether short kings really do lose out in the dating market. How does modern masculinity look and dress? Plus: advice for a listener fantasising about a romantic spark with a former colleague. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

120: Help! I’m dreading moving to the suburbs with my partner

Ash and Moya get stuck into your dilemmas. Featuring: a POC friend whose new boyfriend votes Reform, a male coworker who’s gone from supportive to creepy, a woman who’s struggling to think before she speaks, an independent woman who’s dreading suburban life with her boyfriend, and an environmentalist weighing up a job in big tech. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.