The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

Why “No Regrets” Is Bad Advice

We’ve all had moments we wish we could do over: the relationship we stayed in too long, the opportunity we didn’t take, the thing we said that we can’t unsay. Regret can feel awful. So it’s no surprise that “no regrets” has become a popular life motto. But what if regret isn't actually the enemy? In this episode from The Happiness Lab archives, Dr. Laurie explores the surprising science of regret with authors Daniel Pink [https://www.danpink.com/] and Liz Fosslien [https://www.fosslien.com/]. Together, they explain why our biggest regrets can reveal what we value most, help us make better decisions, and even point us toward a happier future. If you've ever found yourself stuck replaying an old mistake, this episode offers a more productive way to look back. Experts Mentioned: * Daniel Pink [https://www.danpink.com/], non-fiction author * Liz Fosslien [https://www.fosslien.com/], author, illustrator, and expert in workplace culture and emotions * Mollie West Duffy [https://molliewestduffy.com/], author, illustrator, and expert in organizational development * Augusten Burroughs [https://www.augusten.com/], author and memoirist * Bronnie Ware [https://bronnieware.com/], author and palliative carer  Resources Mentioned: * “Liz + Mollie [https://www.lizandmollie.com/]” * Big Feelings: How to Be Okay When Things Are  Not Okay [https://www.amazon.com/Big-Feelings-Okay-When-Things/dp/0593418239], by Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy (2022) * Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward [https://www.amazon.com/Power-Regret-Looking-Backward-Forward/dp/0735210659], by Daniel Pink (2022) * The Top Five Regrets of the Dying:  A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing [https://www.amazon.com/Top-Five-Regrets-Dying-Transformed/dp/140194065X], by Bronnie Ware (2011) * “Making Up for Lost Opportunities: The Protective Role of Downward Social Comparisons for Coping With Regrets Across Adulthood [https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0146167210393256?casa_token=wr3_gS7VSLIAAAAA:xVdemmc-HfadLq9Q7yuYv6pSVBsjJSd2VYOZcLoqn_FtS34AyKPqCM9b-RcnTaWqr4qZdkBM-gk],” by Isabelle Bauer and Carsten Wrosch (2011)  Related Episodes  * “How to Identify Your Negative Emotions [https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/how-to-identify-your-negative-emotions]” * “How to Be Angry Better [https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/how-to-be-angry-better]” * “Why Nostalgia Ain't So Rosy [https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/why-nostalgia-aint-so-rosy]” See omnystudio.com/listener [https://omnystudio.com/listener] for privacy information.

Are Kids Today Really Worse Off?

We hear a lot about rising rates of anxiety, depression, and fragility among kids today. But when Harvard researcher Alexis Redding [https://www.gse.harvard.edu/directory/faculty/alexis-redding] uncovered a forgotten trove of interviews with college students from the 1970s, she found something surprising: their emotional struggles and developmental challenges sounded nearly identical to those of students today. Dr. Laurie also talks with psychologist Adam Mastroianni [https://www.adammastroianni.com/] about why our minds are so quick to believe that young people are getting worse over time. Together, they explore what we get wrong about “kids these days,” and how historical perspective can help us respond to young people with a little more compassion. Experts Mentioned:  * Alexis Redding [https://www.gse.harvard.edu/directory/faculty/alexis-redding], developmental psychologist and Co-Chair of Higher Education at the Harvard Graduate School of Education * William Perry [https://www.thecrimson.com/article/1998/1/28/bureau-of-study-counsel-founder-dies/], professor of education at the Harvard Graduate School of Education * Adam Mastroianni [https://www.adammastroianni.com/], writer and social psychologist * Nancy Hill [https://www.gse.harvard.edu/directory/faculty/nancy-hill], Charles Bigelow Professor of Education at the Harvard Graduate School of Education Resources Mentioned: * Mental Health in College: What Research Tells Us About Supporting Students [https://www.amazon.com/Mental-Health-College-Research-Supporting/dp/B0FQ9HXNB6], by Alexis Redding (2026) * Forms of Ethical and Intellectual Development in the College Years: A Scheme [https://www.amazon.com/Forms-Ethical-Intellectual-Development-College/dp/0787941182], by William Perry (1968) * “The Illusion of Moral Decline [https://www.nature.com/articles/s41586-023-06137-x]” by Adam Mastroianni and Dan Gilbert (Nature, 2023) Related Episodes:  * “How to Make America's Young People Happier Again [https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/how-to-make-americas-young-people-happier-again]” * “What is Social Media Doing to Kids? [https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/what-is-social-media-doing-to-kids-with-dr-jean-twenge]” * “How Smartphones Changed Childhood (And What to Do About It) [https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/how-smartphones-changed-childhood-and-what-to-do-about-it]” See omnystudio.com/listener [https://omnystudio.com/listener] for privacy information.

The Surprising Case for Oversharing

We’re kicking off a new season of The Happiness Lab with some happiness hot takes — bold claims that challenge conventional wisdom about what it really takes to feel happier. Today's hot take is all about oversharing. We’re usually told that revealing too much is cringe-worthy. That it demonstrates social ignorance. That when it comes to overly personal information, save it for your therapist, because less is usually more. Dr. Laurie argues that revealing more than feels comfortable can actually strengthen our social connections and boost our wellbeing. She speaks with Harvard Business School professor Leslie John [https://www.hbs.edu/faculty/Pages/profile.aspx?facId=589473], author of Revealing [https://www.amazon.com/Revealing-Underrated-Oversharing-Leslie-John/dp/0593545389], about why TLI (too little information) is often more dangerous than TMI, and chats with University of Chicago psychologist Nick Epley [https://www.nicholasepley.com/], author of A Little More Social [https://www.amazon.com/Little-More-Social-Unexpected-Connection/dp/0593319540], about what “embracing the cringe” can teach us about connection, vulnerability, and trust.  Together, they explore the line between sharing and oversharing, and explain why what feels like “too much information” is often just information. Experts Mentioned:  * Leslie John [https://www.proflesliejohn.com/about], James. E. Burke Professor of Business Administration at Harvard Business School * Nick Epley [https://www.nicholasepley.com/], John Templeton Keller Distinguished Service Professor of Behavioral Science and Faculty Director of the Roman Family Center for Decision Research at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business * Bronnie Ware [https://bronnieware.com/], author and palliative carer  Resources Mentioned: * Revealing: The Underrated Power of Oversharing [https://www.amazon.com/Revealing-Underrated-Oversharing-Leslie-John/dp/0593545389], by Leslie John (2026) * “Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling as implicit emotion regulation [https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1754073917742706]” by Jared Torre and Matthew Lieberman (Emotion Review, 2018) * The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing [https://www.amazon.com/Top-Five-Regrets-Dying-Transformed/dp/140194065X], by Bronnie Ware (2011) * A Little More Social: How Small Choices Create Unexpected Happiness, Health, and Connection [https://www.amazon.com/Little-More-Social-Unexpected-Connection/dp/0593319540], by Nick Epley (2026) * “Undervaluing gratitude: Expressers misunderstand the consequences of showing appreciation [https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0956797618772506],” by Amit Kumar and Nick Epley (Psychological Science, 2018) * “Insufficiently complimentary?: Underestimating the positive impact of compliments creates a barrier to expressing them [https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2021-92058-001]” by Xuan Zhao and Nick Epley (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2021) Related Episodes:  * “The Secret to Making Friends as an Adult [https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/the-secret-to-making-friends-as-an-adult]” * “Why Giving is a Great Daily Habit [https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/why-giving-is-a-great-daily-habit]” * “Caring What You’re Sharing [https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/caring-what-youre-sharing]” See omnystudio.com/listener [https://omnystudio.com/listener] for privacy information.

How to Feel Happier in Your Body with Jessamyn Stanley

As summer begins, many of us are bombarded with messages about how our bodies aren't good enough. But what if we embraced movement not out of self-criticism or shame, but self-compassion? To close out our series on how to spring clean your wellbeing, we're revisiting a powerful conversation from The Happiness Lab archives featuring Jessamyn Stanley, author of Every Body Yoga: Let Go of Fear, Get On the Mat, Love Your Body [https://www.amazon.com/Every-Body-Yoga-Fear-Body/dp/0761193111]. Dr. Laurie explores how body shame warps our relationship with exercise — and how to rediscover the joy of moving our bodies. If you've ever treated exercise like punishment, this episode offers a happier, kinder way to move through the world.  See omnystudio.com/listener [https://omnystudio.com/listener] for privacy information.

What Your Negative Emotions Are Trying to Tell You

Negative emotions like sadness, anger, guilt, and anxiety can feel overwhelming. But what if those uncomfortable feelings aren’t problems to fix, but signals worth listening to? As part of our series on how to spring clean your wellbeing, Dr. Laurie revisits a conversation with Harvard Medical School psychologist Susan David [https://www.susandavid.com/], author of Emotional Agility [https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Agility-Unstuck-Embrace-Change/dp/1592409490]. Together, they discuss why bottling up difficult feelings doesn’t work, why brooding can keep us stuck, and what our individual emotions are actually trying to tell us about our lives and relationships. If you’ve ever tried to bury a bad feeling, this episode offers a more effective approach to emotional healing. Experts Mentioned: * Susan David [https://www.susandavid.com/about/], Harvard Medical School psychologist a * Viktor Frankl [https://www.viktorfranklinstitute.org/about-viktor-frankl/], psychiatrist, neurologist, and founder of logotherapy Resources Mentioned: * Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life [https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Agility-Unstuck-Embrace-Change/dp/1592409490], by Susan David (2016) Related Episodes: * "How to Identify Your Negative Emotions [https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/how-to-identify-your-negative-emotions]" * "Stepping Off the Path of Anxiety [https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/stepping-off-the-path-of-anxiety]" * "How to be Angry Better [https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/how-to-be-angry-better]" * "When Guilt is Good... and When it's Not [https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/when-guilt-is-good-and-when-its-not]" See omnystudio.com/listener [https://omnystudio.com/listener] for privacy information.