A School Leader’s Playbook by Connecting Through Conversation

When People Get Mad, Get Curious

You’re in the conversation and it turns. Someone is frustrated. Maybe their voice gets louder. Maybe they shut down. Maybe they come at you. And in that moment, it is easy to react or defend. In this episode, we focus on what to do instead. Because when someone gets mad, there is usually something underneath it. And if you can listen for that, you can get to the real issue and move the conversation forward. In this episode, you will learn: * Why anger is often a signal of something deeper * How to listen for what is underneath the reaction * Why you cannot control others but you can control yourself * How to identify a common purpose to move the conversation forward * The difference between positions and the real problem underneath * How to use partnership language to stay on the same team * Why focusing forward matters more than rehashing the past Sentence stems to identify the real issue: * What would a resolution to this situation look like for you? * How can I support you? * What does support look like in this situation? * What would be most helpful to move forward? Part of a 6-episode playbook for the toughest conversations school leaders face. Resources: https://www.connectingthroughconversation.com/resources [https://www.connectingthroughconversation.com/resources] Learn more about our books: https://www.connectingthroughconversation.com/our-book [https://www.connectingthroughconversation.com/our-book]

Let Them Catch Your Calm

You know those conversations where emotions start to rise and suddenly everything shifts? You feel it in your body. Your heart rate picks up, your shoulders tighten, and you can feel yourself getting pulled in. In this episode, we focus on what to do in that moment. Because even when you’ve planned well, tough conversations can escalate quickly. And when they do, how you show up matters. In this episode, you’ll learn: * Why emotions escalate so quickly in tough conversations * How emotional contagion impacts the tone of an interaction * What mirror neurons are and why they matter for leaders * Why you can’t control others—but you can control yourself * Simple strategies to stay calm when emotions rise * How slowing your voice and presence can de-escalate the moment Part of a 6-episode playbook for the toughest conversations school leaders face. Resources: https://www.connectingthroughconversation.com/resources [https://www.connectingthroughconversation.com/resources] Learn more about our books: https://www.connectingthroughconversation.com/our-book [https://www.connectingthroughconversation.com/our-book]

Before You Say It, Plan It

You know the conversation you need to have. But how do you say it so it actually lands? In this episode, we share the concrete steps to plan a tough conversation so you can go in calm, clear, and ready to say what needs to be said. When someone catches you with “Do you have a minute?”, we show you how to buy yourself time and transition to a planned conversation instead. Then, we'll talk you through how to plan for it and anticipate what might come up. In this episode, you’ll learn: * How to buy yourself time instead of getting pulled into an unplanned conversation * Sentence stems you can use to pause and schedule the conversation * How to plan with purpose, timing, location, and a clear concern * Why planning ahead makes tough conversations easier to manage and more likely to land Part of a 6-episode playbook for the toughest conversations school leaders face. Resources: https://www.connectingthroughconversation.com/resources [https://www.connectingthroughconversation.com/resources] Learn more about our books: https://www.connectingthroughconversation.com/our-book [https://www.connectingthroughconversation.com/our-book]

The Conversations That Keep You Up at Night

You know those tough conversations school leaders need to have and don’t want to? The ones you avoid, delay, or hope will resolve on their own? In this episode, we unpack what gets in the way, why waiting makes it worse, and why an imperfect conversation is better than none at all. In this episode, you’ll learn: * Why leaders avoid tough conversations (even when they know they shouldn’t) * Why bad news doesn’t get better with time * How avoiding the conversation impacts your culture and your team * Why softening the message can cause it to miss entirely Part of a 6-episode playbook for the toughest conversations school leaders face. Resources: https://www.connectingthroughconversation.com/resources [https://www.connectingthroughconversation.com/resources] Learn more about our books: https://www.connectingthroughconversation.com/our-book [https://www.connectingthroughconversation.com/our-book]