Baat Kardi

Episode 15 - Let's Just Chat

This episode was really difficult to produce. I'm not sure why that is as yet, whether it be the fact that it's two days after my late best friend's birthday, or even just because I feel like I'm stretching myself a little thin. I couldn't tell you what it is. Maybe I'm burning out. But whatever it is, I thought we could sit down and talk about it, so let's chat.

Episode 14 - Finding Oneself

For the longest time I've struggled with finding an identity for myself. I've struggled to figure out where I fit in, where was my place among society because I just didn't know. My hair for the longest time has felt like the closest idea to having a defining trait, over the years it became a running joke among friends on how it had a mind of its own. In time, my hair became a big part of my personality, which in turn I suppose caused me to be unable to see myself apart from it. I still struggle to place myself among people, I'm not sure if it was because of how I grew up or the bullying but let's talk about it.

Episode 13 - Eid Mubarak Halfway Across The Globe

Eid Mubarak to all my Muslim brothers and sisters celebrating across the globe. I hope this Eid and all future ones are kind to you and your loved ones. Eid is a time for community and being able to be with those you care for. I'm sure there are many like me who are spending this Eid far from who we usually spend it with, this was me trying to do my part in assuring you that we are not alone. Yes the traditions may not be the same and need to change things up, but, why not? Why can't we do something a little bit differently this time around? Let's talk about it.

Episode 12 - Laziness & My Inability To Do Things

I struggle a lot with my inherently laziness. It leaves me unable to get most things done unless I can somehow find the strength within to get my sh*t together. I think of it as a sickness really, this feeling within that just leaves me paralysed and feeling as horrid as humanly possible. I feel the lethargy welling up inside and I hate it. I don't know if anyone else suffers from this but, let's talk about it.

Episode 11 - Urdu & My Troubles

Growing up, Urdu and I never had the best relationship. I struggled to put my feelings into words that never quite seemed to flow off my tongue the way it did for my mother. I found myself distraught and dejected from a language that was meant to be home. I found myself relying more and more on English as a crutch to communicate with the world around me. Before long, my English was all I knew. I was lauded for my prowess over the language, so much so that it became part of my identity and my only identity within time. Over the past two years I have been trying to forge a new version of myself through trial and error. The words of Faiz Ahmed and the voice of Zia Mohyeddin, I am trying to find myself anew.