Behind the Curtain: Honest Conversations about Foster Care and Adoption

The Foster Dad Perspective with Corey McKinney

Fostering can sound like a noble idea until it’s your front door, your kids, your routines, and your fear of what you can’t control. That’s why this conversation matters. We’re joined by Corey McKinney, a foster dad, author, and longtime mentor, to talk honestly about the “silent” part of the foster care community: dads who want to protect their families but also feel the pull to help kids who have nowhere safe to land. Corey shares what it looked like to resist foster parenting for nearly two years, what finally shifted his mindset, and why foster care has to be a full yes from both partners. We walk through the reality of a first placement that ends in disruption, the guilt that can follow, and how talking to a trusted friend or spouse can keep you from carrying it alone. We also dig into trauma-informed parenting in the most practical way: structure, food insecurity, school fights that don’t show up at home, and the small daily habits that help kids feel safe. Then we go deeper into the part most people misunderstand: attachment. Corey explains his “temporary assignment” approach, where the goal is to send a child out of your home better than when they came in, while still loving them fully in the here and now. If you’re considering foster care, adoption, respite care, or you’re already living it and need language for what you feel, you’ll walk away with clarity, courage, and concrete tools. Subscribe, share this with a foster dad you know, and leave a review so more families can find these stories. Find Corey here: Instagram: @TheCoreyMcKinney  Facebook: Corey McKinney    LinkedIn: Corey McKinney Website: www.coreymckinney.net [http://www.coreymckinney.net] We know that foster care and adoption present unique challenges for your marriage, so we created this Same Page Checklist as a conversation starter for you and your spouse. You can download it for free on our website at https://www.havenretreatsinc.org/couples-free-resources-1 [https://www.havenretreatsinc.org/couples-free-resources-1]. Enjoy! Registration is now open for our annual Bio Kid Retreat weekend June 26-28 at North Florida Christian Camp. Go to www.havenretreatsinc.org for more information. Follow us on Instagram: Haven Retreats- https://www.instagram.com/haven.retreats/?hl=en [https://www.instagram.com/haven.retreats/?hl=en] Behind the Curtain Podcast- https://www.instagram.com/behind.the.curtain_pod/ [https://www.instagram.com/behind.the.curtain_pod/]

Supporting Biological Children in Foster and Adoptive Families with Talia-Rae Farrow

Foster care can be beautiful and it can be brutal, and the people who often get overlooked are the biological kids already living in the home. We wanted to change that, so we sat down with Talia Ray Farrow, a bio, foster, and adoptive sister to more than 65 kids, to talk honestly about what it is like to grow up in a foster and adoptive family that is always expanding, shifting, and saying goodbye.  We get into the realities behind the highlight reel: sibling sets and separation, the grief that shows up as anger or jealousy, and the moment a child finally says, “My heart needs a break.” Talia Ray shares what helped her most as a bio kid, including parents who keep communication open every day, listen without rushing to fix, and build trust through small, steady quality time. We also talk about how grief can return years later, how to support kids through those anniversaries, and why attachment does not look the same with every foster sibling.  If you are fostering, adopting, considering a foster care license, or trying to support your own children while caring for other kids, this conversation offers practical tools and a lot of hope. Subscribe, share this with a foster parent who needs it, and leave a review so more families can find these stories. What is one thing you wish someone had told your bio kids early on? Find Talia-Rae here: @sister.to.many [https://www.instagram.com/sister.to.many/] (Instagram) @Sister To Many [https://www.facebook.com/people/Sister-To-Many/61556208096853/] (Facebook) You can email here at: fosteradoptadvocate@gmail.com We know that foster care and adoption present unique challenges for your marriage, so we created this Same Page Checklist as a conversation starter for you and your spouse. You can download it for free on our website at https://www.havenretreatsinc.org/couples-free-resources-1 [https://www.havenretreatsinc.org/couples-free-resources-1]. Enjoy! Registration is now open for our annual Bio Kid Retreat weekend June 26-28 at North Florida Christian Camp. Go to www.havenretreatsinc.org for more information. Follow us on Instagram: Haven Retreats- https://www.instagram.com/haven.retreats/?hl=en [https://www.instagram.com/haven.retreats/?hl=en] Behind the Curtain Podcast- https://www.instagram.com/behind.the.curtain_pod/ [https://www.instagram.com/behind.the.curtain_pod/]

Trust-Based Parenting For Kids From Hard Places with Angela Coston

Your kid is melting down, you are touched out, and the last thing you feel is “connected” yet the relationship is still the path forward. Rebecca Harvin sits down with Angela Coston, founder of For the Sake of One and a TBRI practitioner, to talk about what connection looks like when parenting kids from hard places meets real-life stress, school breaks, IEP meetings, and the long grind of behavior that repeats for years. We break down Trust-Based Relational Intervention (TBRI) into its three practical pillars: connecting, empowering, and correcting. Angela shares simple connection moves that can change the tone of a day, from five minutes of child-led play to the surprisingly effective “order what they order” moment that signals belonging. Then we get concrete about regulation: hydration, sleep, sensory input, and why protein and complex carbs matter so much when “defiance” is actually a blood sugar crash, especially for kids affected by prenatal substance exposure. From there, we wrestle with the hard edge of trauma-informed parenting: can’t versus won’t, willful disobedience versus survival behavior, and how to hold high nurture with high structure. You’ll hear scripts for choices, “first then” language, shared power, and consequences that keep agency on the child. We close with the backbone skill that makes all of this sustainable: repair, plus the self-care practices that help parents stay regulated enough to lead. If this helped you, subscribe, share it with a foster or adoptive parent who needs hope today, and leave a review so more families can find trauma-informed tools. What is one behavior that triggers you most right now? Find For the Sake of One: Website: www.forthesakeofone.com [http://www.forthesakeofone.com] We know that foster care and adoption present unique challenges for your marriage, so we created this Same Page Checklist as a conversation starter for you and your spouse. You can download it for free on our website at https://www.havenretreatsinc.org/couples-free-resources-1 [https://www.havenretreatsinc.org/couples-free-resources-1]. Enjoy! Registration is now open for our annual Bio Kid Retreat weekend June 26-28 at North Florida Christian Camp. Go to www.havenretreatsinc.org for more information. Follow us on Instagram: Haven Retreats- https://www.instagram.com/haven.retreats/?hl=en [https://www.instagram.com/haven.retreats/?hl=en] Behind the Curtain Podcast- https://www.instagram.com/behind.the.curtain_pod/ [https://www.instagram.com/behind.the.curtain_pod/]

The Long Game Of Foster Care with Jason Johnson

The hardest part of foster care is not what most people expect. It’s the moment you realize you can’t control the outcome, you can’t fix what’s broken, and you’re still called to stay. Rebecca Harvin sits down with Jason Johnson from the Christian Alliance for Orphans to talk about foster care and adoption as a long game, where “success” isn’t measured by perfect progress but by faithful presence and the simple, world-changing reality that a child is no longer alone. We dig into trauma-informed parenting and the daily work of cultivating a safe environment: staying steady when teens melt down, responding to mistakes without blowing up, and learning to parent more like a coach as kids grow. Jason shares the idea of “the thing beneath the thing” and why slowing down, listening, and getting curious builds trust and helps kids heal. Along the way, we name the surprise so many foster parents experience: the journey reveals us. Our impatience, our pride, our need to manage, and also our resilience and capacity to do hard things. We also talk about grief and reputation, the relationships that change when you protect a child’s story, and the dangerous mental loop of “Why can’t easy things just be easy?” The conversation lands on agency, neuroplasticity, and discipleship: what we repeatedly pay attention to shapes our beliefs, our brains, and the kind of home we create. If you’re fostering, adopting, or considering getting involved, this will give you language, perspective, and permission to keep going with honesty and hope. If this resonates, subscribe, share it with a foster parent or church leader, and leave a review so more families can find support and practical encouragement. Find out more about Jason Johnson here: www.jasonjohnsonblog.com [https://www.jasonjohnsonblog.com/] Find out more about Christian Alliance for Orphans here: https://cafo.org/ [https://cafo.org/] Find out more about The Pure Religion Project here:  https://cafo.org/purereligion/ [https://cafo.org/purereligion/] We know that foster care and adoption present unique challenges for your marriage, so we created this Same Page Checklist as a conversation starter for you and your spouse. You can download it for free on our website at https://www.havenretreatsinc.org/couples-free-resources-1 [https://www.havenretreatsinc.org/couples-free-resources-1]. Enjoy! Registration is now open for our annual Bio Kid Retreat weekend June 26-28 at North Florida Christian Camp. Go to www.havenretreatsinc.org for more information. Follow us on Instagram: Haven Retreats- https://www.instagram.com/haven.retreats/?hl=en [https://www.instagram.com/haven.retreats/?hl=en] Behind the Curtain Podcast- https://www.instagram.com/behind.the.curtain_pod/ [https://www.instagram.com/behind.the.curtain_pod/]

Creating a Soft Place to Land for Foster Children in South Carolina with Jennifer Tice

A child shouldn’t have to fall asleep in a cubicle while adults debate where she’ll go next. That image stuck, and it’s the spark behind this conversation with Jennifer Tice, co-founder and executive director of Lily Pad, a South Carolina faith-based nonprofit creating trauma-informed spaces for children and vulnerable people in crisis. We get honest about what foster care and adoption actually feel like when the crisis doesn’t end after the paperwork, the home study, or the first placement.  Jennifer and I dig into caregiver burnout, compassion fatigue, and the uncomfortable truth that foster parents carry most of the week with little built-in support. We also talk about caseworkers as first responders inside a system that starts in brokenness, and why turnover hurts children who are already overwhelmed. Along the way, we name the moments nobody wants to admit out loud: bonding that takes time, grief that hits at reunification, and even the relief that can show up when a hard placement ends. Two things can be true, and saying so can keep families from drowning in guilt.  Then Jennifer tells the story that led to Lily Pad: how one teen’s experience in a DSS office revealed an avoidable layer of trauma, and how a “soft place to land” can change a child’s nervous system in real time. We walk through what goes into a Lily Pad room, how community partners maintain the spaces, and why this model is now expanding into law enforcement victim care. If you care about foster care sustainability, adoption support, trauma-informed care, and practical child welfare solutions, this one is for you.  Subscribe for more honest conversations, share this with someone who serves kids in crisis, and leave a review so more foster and adoptive families can find the support they need. You can find out more about Lily Pad here: * Lily Pad website [https://www.lilypadinc.org/] * Lily Pad room gallery [https://www.lilypadinc.org/lilypadroomsbeforeandafter] (before-and-after transformations) * Donation/support page [https://www.lilypadinc.org/donate] * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lily.pad.inc/ [https://www.instagram.com/lily.pad.inc/] We know that foster care and adoption present unique challenges for your marriage, so we created this Same Page Checklist as a conversation starter for you and your spouse. You can download it for free on our website at https://www.havenretreatsinc.org/couples-free-resources-1 [https://www.havenretreatsinc.org/couples-free-resources-1]. Enjoy! Registration is now open for our annual Bio Kid Retreat weekend June 26-28 at North Florida Christian Camp. Go to www.havenretreatsinc.org for more information. Follow us on Instagram: Haven Retreats- https://www.instagram.com/haven.retreats/?hl=en [https://www.instagram.com/haven.retreats/?hl=en] Behind the Curtain Podcast- https://www.instagram.com/behind.the.curtain_pod/ [https://www.instagram.com/behind.the.curtain_pod/]