Broken for Better

Feeling Like Roommates? Start Here!

Do you and your spouse love each other… but feel more like roommates lately? If physical intimacy has slowed down (or disappeared), this episode is for you. Because most of the time, intimacy doesn’t die first… connection does. In this conversation, marriage coaches Kurt and Denette Schaer talk about how emotional closeness creates the safety, warmth, and pursuit that makes intimacy possible again...even after stressful seasons, resentment, exhaustion, or the “scorekeeping” trap. In this episode, we cover: ✅ Why the “honeymoon phase fading” doesn’t mean you’re broken ✅ How stress, resentment, and exhaustion bury desire (not erase it) ✅ The danger of scorekeeping: “When you do for me, I’ll do for you” ✅ Why emotional connection can feel scary (especially for many men) and why it’s still not an excuse ✅ Two simple tools you can start today: The 15-Minute Connection Window (phones down, TVs off)The Non-Sexual Touch Reset (affection without expectation) Big takeaway: Affection without expectation rebuilds safety — and emotional safety is the foundation for physical intimacy. Drop a comment: What’s one small rhythm you could start today to rebuild emotional closeness by tomorrow 💛 Want more information about personal marriage coaching? Connect with Kurt and Denette at: https://www.brokenforbetter.com/coaching 📍All the links - stay in touch:https://linktr.ee/brokenforbetter?fbclid=IwAR2f3cwNmMsA8IXgK37HAcmQllKJMOlo0MKUmGixKFLOwMmOoKkdMkbPvVo

Less Chaos, More Peace: 3 Rhythms That Change the Temperature of Your Home

Does your home feel too loud emotionally, mentally, or relationally? In this episode, marriage coaches Kurt and Denette Schaer talk about the hidden “crazy cycle” many couples live in: two ships passing in the night, running a household but not building a marriage… and calling it “just a season.” You’ll learn how to stop the slow erosion that drains intimacy over time and replace reactive rhythms with intentional rhythms that bring peace back into your marriage. In this episode, we cover: ✅ How to know when you’re mentally/emotionally exhausted (not just “vacation tired”) ✅ The crazy cycle and why chaos becomes “normal” ✅ The question that changes everything: Is life dictating the pace of your marriage… or is your marriage dictating the pace of life? ✅ The difference between reacting and responding (and how to choose calm ✅ 3 practical rhythms that restore connection: Daily bookend conversations (morning or night check-ins) Asking better questions to access your spouse’s heart Sabbath/rest together (and how to rest when you’re wired differently) Big takeaway: Peace isn’t the absence of problems. It’s the presence of intentional rhythms to navigate them. Drop a comment: What’s one rhythm you’ve created that brought more peace to your home? 💛 Want more information about personal marriage coaching? Connect with Kurt and Denette at: https://www.brokenforbetter.com/coaching 📍All the links - stay in touch:https://linktr.ee/brokenforbetter?fbclid=IwAR2f3cwNmMsA8IXgK37HAcmQllKJMOlo0MKUmGixKFLOwMmOoKkdMkbPvVo

Stop the Spiral: 1 Shift That Turns Conflict Into Connection

If you’re tired of the same arguments, the same tone, the same shutdown… you’re not alone.In this episode of Broken for Better, Kurt & Denette Schaer share the simple communication reset that helps couples stop reacting fast, create emotional safety, and build new rhythms that turn chaos into calm.You’ll learn:✅ Why conflict keeps repeating✅ The “I’m overwhelmed” phrase that changes everything✅ How to create safe space (even when you disagree)✅ Why scheduled repair time protects your marriage💬 Comment: When you feel overwhelmed, do you shut down, blow up, or go sarcastic?💛 Want more information about personal marriage coaching? Connect with Kurt and Denette at: https://www.brokenforbetter.com/coachingTimestamps: 00:00 - Recognizing the chaos cycle in marriage02:00 - Symptoms of a chaotic vs. peaceful home04:00 - Breaking the crazy cycle06:00 - The importance of intentional planning to prevent erosion08:00 - How reactive rhythms perpetuate chaos10:00 - The role of response vs. reaction in conflict resolution12:00 - Practical daily check-ins to strengthen connection15:00 - Creating emotional safety through volume and tone17:00 - Rest as a vital rhythm for marriage health20:00 - Protecting your marriage calendar and boundaries22:00 - Expressing expectations to prevent resentment25:00 - Tools for safe communication: hold the heart, pause phrases27:00 - The importance of safety over volume in effective communication📍All the links - stay in touch:https://linktr.ee/brokenforbetter?fbclid=IwAR2f3cwNmMsA8IXgK37HAcmQllKJMOlo0MKUmGixKFLOwMmOoKkdMkbPvVo

New Year, Same Baggage? Here’s the Fix

In this conversation, Kurt and Denette discuss the importance of not carrying past wounds into new seasons of life, particularly in relationships. They explore how unresolved issues can linger and affect emotional intimacy, emphasizing the need for open communication and intentional healing. The discussion highlights practical tools for addressing pain points, the significance of scheduled repair time, and the understanding that conflict can lead to growth in relationships.Takeaways:New years don't fix old wounds; new rhythms do.Unresolved issues often stem from buried emotions.Communication is essential for healing in relationships.Sarcasm can be a harmful way to deflect pain.Scheduled repair time is crucial for addressing issues.Intentionality in relationships leads to better outcomes.It's important to express what hurt and what is needed.Conflict can be a pathway to deeper connection.Healing requires planning and effort.We can love deeply and still need to work on our relationship.Want more information about personal marriage coaching? Connect with Kurt and Denette at: https://www.brokenforbetter.com/coaching00:00Navigating Past Wounds05:11Understanding Unresolved Issues11:15The Importance of Communication16:45Intentional Healing in Relationships22:26Embracing Conflict for GrowthAll the links - stay in touch:https://linktr.ee/brokenforbetter?fbclid=IwAR2f3cwNmMsA8IXgK37HAcmQllKJMOlo0MKUmGixKFLOwMmOoKkdMkbPvVo

Can Change Really Happen in Marriage? (How to Start—Even If You’ve Tried Before)

Can a marriage really change… or do couples just learn to cope?In this episode, marriage coaches Kurt and Denette unpack what real change looks like over time and why it’s usually not one big moment, but small, consistent choices made with humility and intentionality. You’ll hear practical tools you can start using right away especially if you feel stuck in the same arguments, discouraged by slow progress, or unsure where to begin. We also talk about why celebrating “small wins” matters more than you think, and how a growth mindset can rebuild hope in your relationship. Drop a comment: What’s one small change you’re willing to try this week? Want more information about personal marriage coaching? Connect with Kurt and Denette at: https://www.brokenforbetter.com/coaching Want to give financially?https://deka.gives/broken-for-betterAll the links - stay in touch:https://linktr.ee/brokenforbetter?fbclid=IwAR2f3cwNmMsA8IXgK37HAcmQllKJMOlo0MKUmGixKFLOwMmOoKkdMkbPvVo